Disclaimer: World and Characters all go to Stephenie Meyer!

Jacob's Letter

Dear Jacob,

This is really hard for me to do. I am so sorry. I don't even know where to start. How about the beginning?

I moved to Forks against my will. My dad got the promotion he's worked hard for, but I resented it. It was my senior year! I already had plans with old friends, but I was still a minor, so I grudgingly moved with my parents.

I didn't expect much to happen; maybe make a few new friends? The first few months was boring and, well, I don't really remember much of it. I did get into a routine and made some good friends. Part of having friends in high school is, gossip. The most unbelievable one I heard, was about the most beautiful, friendly girl that graduated two years ago. The buzz was that she got knocked up by a rich, handsome orphan and they ended up getting married. I heard that she was the only one that got to make him talk and show emotion. It would have been juicy gossip in the big city,but here, in Forks, it seemed to be breaking news. The fact that she was the chief of police's daughter was a killer.

Then, one day, Justin invited me to a bonfire party in La Push. Apparently, it was a tradition to go for graduating years. It started okay, but then the locals came. Can I say yummy? I remember wondering if it was something in the water or air. The boys were all ginormous and ripped. They were all smiling and having fun, almost relieved. It was like they haven't had fun for a while. Their joy was infectious.

Then, I saw you. You were different. You looked so devastated, sick and lost. My heart involuntarily clenched at your tear-stained face. I don't usually approach strangers, but you felt so special, I couldn't help it- or maybe the alcohol gave me a boost of confidence. Either way, it got me talking to you.

Do you remember that night? The first time we met? You didn't want to talk to some Forks chick, but I insisted. We locked eyes and you had the weirdest reaction,ever. Your facial expression changed so fast, with very different feelings. You were shocked, lustful, happy, confused, and you suddenly realization hit your eyes. Then just as fast, you became angry. You were so angry, you started to shake, or vibrate. It was so odd, but it really scared me. I ran, and you let me.

After a few days, I stopped thinking about our odd encounter and set off to go about my mundane life. Things were back to normal, but then you showed up two weeks later. You came knocking at my door and I have no idea how you figured out where I lived. I didn't really care, well I never got the chance to care. You blurted out an apology before I could register who was at my door. You were so adorable and sincere, I couldn't help myself. I forgave you.

We became friends after that. We just clicked and we hung out a lot with Quil and Embry. They're wonderful friends. Then you and I started getting too close. I didn't mind, but you obviously did. Then one night we kissed, and we couldn't go anywhere but forward. You were always hesitant and that made me nervous, but when we kissed, I just knew that it was right.

Our first kiss. It started out so normally. I went to your house and we played video games with Quil and Embry. It was fun, but Quil totally cheated! Anyways, after they left, you became quiet. It reminded me of the first night we met. I wanted to ask you what was wrong, but the memory made me stop from asking. You still told me. You told me the reason. You told me about Bella Swan, the daughter of Chief Swan. The beautiful, friendly girl that got the most unreachable man to love her. I felt sorry for all the pain you had to go through. Despite my growing attraction to you, I couldn't help but want her to choose you and I told you so. My heart ached for your despair and you saw it in my eyes. You kissed me then. You were so gentle at first, like you didn't want to break me, but then it got desperate and hard. It was amazing, perfect.

Then for three weeks we had a normal relationship, but I noticed things. I noticed your boiling temperature. Your fatigue when we hang out and when you have to leave abruptly leave during our dates. I noticed your bruises and cuts that would suddenly disappear the next day. Then you told me about phasing. I didn't believe you. I mean seriously, would you have believed me right off the bat? You gave me proof, and I had to believe you. After that, you told me your real story about Bella. You were my hero.

I thought we were done with all the secrets, but a week later you cautiously told me about imprinting. Of course, I over reacted before you could explain fully and ran out on you, and you let me. I was so hurt and angry that you lead me on. I was scared though. Above everything else, I was scared. I didn't want to give you up. I already fell for you. When I realized that, I decided to break things between us cleanly. Before I could talk, you told me the best news my ears have ever received. You imprinted on me! You accepted my apology and that was that.

What followed after, was three months of blissful happiness. We were both so in sync. I fell more in love with you. I was ignorant and I wish I remained so, but all good things come to an end. Some one asked me why we talked about Bella so much. I denied it, but it was enough to make me notice.

I caught you staring off into space whenever we visited that blasted meadow. You were thinking about her, I know. When you fell asleep as we watched television, you mumbled her name, you always did. I noticed how you try to keep us distant, but fail because of our connection. I noticed how you hesitate every time we kissed. I saw your guilty face afterwards.

When you look at me, do you wish it was her? Do you even see me when you kiss me? My laughter made you smile. The memory of her smile makes you happy. My tears make you angry. The tears of her past breaks your heart. My breath is your air, but hers is your life. The beat of my heart is you favourite song. Her heartbeat is your music. You love me, but you choose to love her. Iwill never compare.

You imprinted on me, I know that. I know that because you left a mark on my heart- you marked all of it. Bella, however, imprinted on your heart. She already got your mind, soul and your heart before you met me. You may have imprinted on me, but you fight it everyday. You fight it to love her.

I know you love me Jacob. I know you don't ever want to hurt me. Sometimes, I wish I never met you but I can't bring myself to regret any of my decisions or yours. I wouldn't ever want to erase our past. I love you and I always will. That's why I have to do this.

I know she came back yesterday and please be with her. It will make me really happy if you gave her another chance. She needs you now and you've always needed her. Live a happy life.

I'll be okay, I promise. Maybe I'll come back one day and visit you, but we both need time and space. We will always be friends and that's all I need from you. I need you to be a friend. I'm running away and you're going to have to let me. Thank you, for everything. Goodbye, friend.