Disclaimer: I don't own the Phantom of the Opera and I don't own the Grinch song. This idea hit me when I read this song as a remake with Achilles bashing. Much thanks to Silver Whirl for writing that. I just HAD to do this.
You're a pansy, Sir Raoul
Too much sugar in your smile
You may sooner get the girl
But not for quite a while
Sir Raoul

You're a whiny pretty boy who's skipped way too many meals.

You're a weakling, Sir Raoul
You're pants are on too tight
You hardly have a backbone
And you wet your bed at night
Sir Raoul

I would't touch you with a 69 and a half foot pike

You're a loser, Sir Raoul
In need of mental help
You have all the confidence
Of a bowl of rotting kelp
Sir Raoul

Given the choice between the two of you, I'd take the bowl of rotting kelp.

You're a chicken, Sir Raoul
You're a lilly livered fowl
When the Phantom's got Christine
All you do is cry and howl
Sir Raoul

Three words that come to mind when I think of you are, and I quote: "Slut, Snitch, Scowl"

You're a whiner, Sir Raoul
Your britches' in your crack
You should be put into a bag
And thrown right off a riverbank
Sir Raoul

Though you pine for Mis Daae and manage to brandish your sharpened pin of a sword this still does nothing to reveal the true reason why your cries remind us of little puppies crying out in the night.

You're annoying, Sir Raoul
You're getting in the way
If the Phantom had Christine,
You'd have nothing more to say
Sir Raoul

You're an aristocrat defunct and too innocent for this world and are inherently dislikable as a matter of course.

Sey: -highfives Erik-