Kanda sighs as he glares into the bottom of his whiskey sour. His first Valentine's as a married man and his husband has to work. His father-in-law even owns the freakin' casino, but could Allen get off? No… Of course not; not when Lulu and Adam had to go on vacation for their damned wedding anniversary. Anniversary, for kami's sake! Seriously, who gets married on Valentine's Day?! Not that Kanda cares about the stupid-ass, over-commercialized, fake holiday anyway. Certainly not! Just because it's Lulu and Adam's, like, 20… um, 21st, maybe? Che, whatever! Point is they've been together for a long-ass time and here it is – his and Allen's very first Valentine's Day, not that he's counting, mind you, and he has to sit at the bar and wait until 10 to (not) celebrate with his Moyashi. Ugh… life is so unfair.
"Hey, there, beautiful. What's a sexy babe like you doin' all alone at a bar tonight, of all nights?"
Speaking of unfair… Just because Kanda put on a little eye makeup and maybe a hint of lip tint before coming to wait on Allen's shift to end, that doesn't mean he's a woman for fuck's sake! Damned stereotypes! So what if he's a guy in makeup? Big deal. His husband loves it. Says it makes his eyes even more mesmerizing. He'll just ignore the dumbass; hopefully the baka will take the hint without forcing Kanda to kick his ass and make a scene at the bar. Allen would bitch if that happened, then try to find the loser and beat him some more. Kanda doesn't mind that part, but he just doesn't feel like any drama right now. Not when he and Allen should be naked and in their jacuzzi. Well, if not for the Moyashi's stupid uncle and Lulu they would be.
"Oi! You all right there, baby?"
And… Apparently, Mr. Can't-Take-A-Hint can't, well, obviously…
"Che! Get lost, ass-face!"
"Now, now. Is that any way for a lovely lady such as yourself to talk?"
Oh, some people in this world are just too clueless…
"Oh, dear… I'm just so awfully sorry, mister. Forgive me?" Easy, Yuu… Don't let that evil smirk out unless he takes the bait.
"Well, I guess… That is, if you'll let me buy you a drink." The man's hand settles onto Kanda's thigh.
Kanda inwardly cringes but tolerates it for the moment. "I don't think so. I don't wanna get drunk, but feel free to go buy one for someone who's interested."
"Don't be like that. You don't hafta worry, baby. I'll keep a real good eye on you." The man, who Kanda honestly hasn't even bothered to get a good look at, turns and waves to the bartender. The bartender turns and grins, winking at Kanda as he walks towards them. Kanda bites back a chuckle as his husband's cousin, Tyki, stops in front of them. The guy's arm has left Kanda's leg and is now around his shoulders, fingers combing through his midnight strands.
"Yes, sirs, how may I help you?"
"Yes, I'll have a – wait… Did you say 'sirs'? I believe you owe an apology to my gorgeous companion."
"Now, now, my good man; your gorgeous companion is clearly a man."
"How dare you insult such a sexy lady! You better watch your mouth or I'll-"
"Or you'll what, exactly? Kick my ass for telling you the truth?"
"That's it!" and the man lunges over the bar. Before he can so much as blink, Kanda slams him face first onto the countertop. Tyki laughs darkly and pins the man's arms behind his back so Kanda is free to tilt his face to look at him.
"I warned you to get lost, ass-face! Now will you get the hell outta here before we throw you out?"
The man snorts – due to a nosebleed, courtesy of his 'gorgeous companion' – before spitting in Kanda's face.
"Damned tranny! You think this is some kinda game? Trappin' men and then beating them up. You sick fuck! I am gonna sue your ass and yours, too, you shitty ass bartender!"
"Che. Not happening. And it wasn't a trap either; I kept trying to make you leave me alone."
"Sitting there by yourself all dolled up and you're claiming you're innocent? That's bullshit! I happen to be off duty now, but I'm a bouncer here and I'm having you tossed out on your faggot ass. And you're getting' fired, you lousy bum. Pro'lly can't mix a drink anyways!"
And… Kanda simply can't hold it in anymore. His laugh is practically maniacal. "I am not a 'tranny,' numb-nuts. I'm a man who wears makeup when I feel like it. Like tonight, for example, while I wait on my husband to finish his shift here."
"Hah! Still makes you a faggot!"
"Che. A 'faggot' is British slang for a cigarette. I'm gay, or homosexual if you wanna be technical."
"Whatever you are, I'm still getting you thrown out. I'll get your husband fired too, since you're dumb enough to tell me he works here."
"Wrong again. You're getting fired, banned from this casino, and never getting on as a bouncer in this town again."
"Says who?"
Tyki decided to answer this time. "Since you obviously don't know who you're talking to, I'll try to explain it in simple words: The man you've been feeling up is the owner's son-in-law. The owner also happens to be my uncle, and he's given me the right to fire employees and ban people. You should have left my friend alone when he asked you-"
"He slammed me into the counter! That's an assault charge and you can bet your ass I'm gonna file it!"
"Did you not listen to what he just said? My father-in-law owns this place, the entire place: casino, restaurant, bar, hotel… everything. Do you honestly think you can win a suit against me? Especially when you refused to leave me alone, put your filthy hands on me, and tried to hit Tyki? You're dumber than you look if you think you can! 'course you'd have to be since you thought I was a woman."
)()()()()()()(
Free at last! Allen pats Devit on the back as he takes over for him at the BlackJack table. Finally, he can go meet up with his sweetheart… Well, Kanda's sweet to him at least, usually. The white-haired casino heir makes his way over to the bar, knowing he'll find his beautiful husband waiting there, killing time with Tyki. He's in sight of the counter now but stops short, his fists clenched in instant rage when he sees some vaguely familiar-looking man touching his BaKanda. His. BaKanda!
Oh, not this again! Allen is more than aware of his husband's exotic features, and he's ridiculously turned on when Kanda adds a little kohl eyeliner and some mascara to his already perfect face. But… Other men need to back off! The thing that makes it even worse than the fact his husband keeps getting hit on is that almost all of the men initially think Kanda is a woman. Allen has never understood that one; it doesn't take a genius to notice how utterly and delightfully masculine Kanda's body is. At least most guys get lost once they realize their mistake. A few don't mind, and others become more interested. Not that Allen can blame them, except… He does, because Kanda Is HIS!
This time, though, Allen isn't sure if the guy is one of the latter or if he's just really dumb. He forces himself to edge closer, purposefully avoiding notice for now, but within hearing distance. Granted, his hearing is very good so he can stay further back than most and still understand what they're saying.
"Damned tranny!"
Okay… Now the bastard's gone too far. Hitting on Kanda is one thing. Touching him strays into dangerous waters. Insulting him like he just did is positively suicidal. Allen starts walking closer, footsteps silent as he nears his prey. But before he can reach the bar… Smack! That's his baby! Sometimes Allen's overprotective urges make him forget that Kanda is more than capable of self-defense.
"'course you'd have to be since you thought I was a woman."
Allen reaches the bar at this point. He comes to a halt behind his husband, wrapping his arms around the man's waist and resting his chin on his shoulder. "Is there a problem here?"
"Not at all, my dear cousin. This man was just about to leave forever. Oh, and he's fired, of course."
"Fired? He works for us?"
"Worked for us. A bouncer. Obviously a newbie since he had no clue who Kanda is, or me, for that matter."
"I see. Well, that explains why he seems kind of familiar. Right… So, Mr?"
"Bolic, Skinn Bolic," the man replies after Tyki put a slight amount of pressure on his arm.
"Right, then. Mr. Bolic, you are hereby fired and banned from the Noah Resort and Casino. You are to hand over your employee badge and will be escorted off the premises by security." Allen moves one arm from Kanda's midsection and holds out his hand for the badge. Skinn nods his head towards Tyki, who still held his arms behind his back. "Ah, of course. Tyki, dear, let him go so we can be rid of him."
Tyki reluctantly obeys, and the man pulls a lanyard off from around his neck and tosses it on top of the bar. He starts to walk away but Tyki grabs him again. "Not so fast. I believe your escort hasn't arrived yet."
Allen slips his mobile out of his pocket and sends a quick message to his security detail, all done one-handed since he doesn't want to move his other arm away from his husband. A redhead with a black eyepatch over his right eye is there almost instantly and takes hold of Skinn. Tyki lets go and steps aside, then turns and places a chaste kiss and the guard's lips. "I'll be off at 11, bunny. You'll be home by then, right?"
"Soon as I get this guy off tha property. I'm all done here since Al and Yuu are headin' out for the night."
"Don't call me 'Yuu,' baka usagi!"
"Yeah, yeah…" The redhead leads the former bouncer away.
"Okay, so Yuu and I will be up in our suite if you need us. Don't need us."
"No problem. If someone sets the place on fire, I'll be sure and remember you two are otherwise occupied."
"Che, like you have room to talk. I know what you plan to do with your 'bunny' once you're off work tonight."
"And I know what you want to do with, or should I say to, your 'Moyahsi.'" Tyki laughed.
)()()()()()(
AN: So, I plan to make glorious citrusy goodness, but I'm tired at thought I'd throw this up without it for now. I'll update it later (w/the smexy bits.)