I watched the clock, waiting. I really did hate waiting.
I sat on my bunk inside of the small cabin which I shared with a fellow female sailor. I could hear the boats movement and any adjustment of its course. Being at sea long enough, you learnt to recognize the sounds of the boat and what each sound means.
I hated waiting; because it gave you time to think.
I thought about what I had learnt, from the situation I had put myself in. All through-out high school, parents are telling you to 'be safe' and 'think about what the consequences of your actions could be'. Now an adult, I am old enough to make my own choices. I tell my own niece not to get involved in these things.
I hate waiting; you compare yourself to others.
I have screwed this up - everything up. I was quite happy, Jim and I were happy. We were planning on getting married next summer. He had asked me to marry him. I made a mistake, I'll admit that. What happened, shouldn't have happened. I shouldn't have allowed myself to be alone with him, because I knew I wouldn't have been able to tell myself no.
I looked at the clock, only a minute had passed - A very long minute. One that would affect my career and the rest of my life. I built up enough courage, I did it. I looked down at the little stick in front of me.
Positive.
'Crap.'