Loki was having a bit of a bad year. It was his first trip to the Midgardian planet of Earth that his brother seemed to favor so much since he's left Asgard for good, and he had a plan. He had successfully initiated contact with Thanos, who had sent him out to scout on this blasted planet and get a feel of it before he handed over his forces, the Chitauri, so Loki could take over the planet. And Loki loathed Earth.
Somehow he'd managed to land himself in a country called England a few hundred years before he had planned to get there, which meant the entire trip had been a waste of time and his own energy.
It was on one of the more miserable days full of sunshine and brightness that Loki, unable to contact Thanos just yet, was forced to roam the streets, which he did, disregarding the human rules of conduct on roads, nearly crashing into quite a few horses. It was on the safety of what Midgardians called the "footpath" that he really crashed into—a potato. A large, unpeeled potato with eyes and ears and even a mouth.
"Move from my path, puny human." The potato said, and Loki frowned.
"I'm not a human." He spat at the potato, narrowing his eyes at it, wondering at how the humans had created this machine or creature that referred to them as puny; which they were, of course, but he did not imagine they would create anything that would look down upon them—or up at them, as was the case.
"You resemble a human." The potato said, and Loki frowned.
"I am not. I am Loki," of Asgard, he meant to say, but Loki Odinson of Asgard he was not. He was Loki Laufeyson, a Frost Giant and a misshapen one at that. God of Mischief; yes, that suited him more. "I'm the God of Mischief. What are you?" He asked, and the potato looked offended—as offended as one could look, at any rate, which, as he discovered, was quite a lot.
"Sontarans do not believe in a God or titles unrelated to good war." The potato said. "I am Strax, Sontaran, insignificant human."
Loki glared at the bald head of the thing, powering his energy into the staff that Thanos had supplied him with. Loki planned for it to look much more magnificent eventually, but at the moment all it did was give him a good weapon. Even as the staff started to glow and transform, the potato pulled out a large weapon of some sort, and, before he the staff could be fully transformed, shot it with a red beam.
Loki stared at the staff that had quickly been reduced to ash, back at the potato, at the gun, and then at his empty hand. A staff given to him by Thanos, a titan himself! And it had been defeated by a potato with a gun that was clearly of immense power. Now, Loki wasn't a brave idiot like Thor was, which meant he knew when he was defeated and how to accept it. The gun in the potato's (Sontaran's?) hands would likely destroy him as easily as it had the staff. He wondered for a second if he could steal the gun, then thought better of it, gave one look to the potato's smiling face (the potato had a face and it smiled) and turned and ran. He'd need a new staff, and a better one.
He could hear the potato's mocking laughter and could feel the shame running through him. Even as he fought and was defeated by the "Avengers", despite his Chitauri force, it was the most mocking sound he'd heard. The laughter of a potato.
I realize I was quite mean to Loki here, but it was funny, okay?