A/N – I REGRET NOTHING but actually I am so, so sorry/ not sorry at all.

I was totally just sitting there, eating my lunch and configuring new engine pathways because that is what I like to do (and has nothing to do with having a limited social life) when a fluffy shadow was suddenly standing over me.

"Abel, can I sit with you?"

Ethos. Ughhhhgghhhhhhhhh. Let me give you the rundown on Ethos. He's like... part human, part sheep, all annoying. Fortunately years of hiding porn magazines has made me an excellent liar, and I managed to put on an angelic smile that hopefully Keeler will see and decide to give me a promotion in private in his office. In my head, he will knight me. With his sword. The one in his-

"Abel you're the only one I can trust," Ethos stop to think on that for a moment "Well, at least you're the only one who doesn't call me lamb face. I think I found it."

I was busy being mesmerised by the sway of his hair when he talked, like tall grass in a breeze, and trying to not grab a hold of it and have a hot make out session right there with sheep boy because, actually, his hair made up for his face, when Ethos snapped his fingers in front of my face.

"Oh my god Abel, did you hear me at all? I think I found it!"

"It?"

"Do you mean the secret to great sex, because I am already subscribed to space cosmo and-"

"No! No, Abel! You know... it."

I gasped in shock.

"It!? Oh my god, Ethos, take me there!"

I quickly shut my tablet/laptop/space machine and we hurried down the hallway, both of us shaking in excitement. The ancient legends of the navigatorial genie lamp – coded as "it" for purposes I am not allowed to discuss – were true. There was an actual lamp on the Sleipnir that had a genie that granted you one wish each. And I knew exactly what I was going to wish for.

Ethos stopped outside his room and went to punch in his code before I grabbed his arm.

"What are you doing? I thought the legends said it was hidden somewhere in the depths of the ship..."

"It is, Abel, I'm just getting something"

The door slid open with a familiar hiss, and before I knew what was happening Ethos had pushed me inside the room forcefully, where I tumbled to the ground swearing on the way down.

"What the hell! Ethos what is your prob-"

I was cut off short by the sight in front of me when I looked up: Cain and Deimos completely naked, and Ethos stripping fast. Cain smirked at me.

"Three wishes, Princess?"

And then we had a massive orgy and that is exactly what I was going to wish for anyways so it was great the end.