SPEW for a Kiss

By Angela Rizhel

"Everyone, pay attention!" Hermione shouted, climbing onto one of the common room tables. "A great injustice is being perpetrated on our watch, and we must do something about it! This is why I have started the Society for the Protection of Elfish Welfare! Together we can free the elves!!"

"Erm, Hermione… I just, well, you see…you have a--" Ron stumbled.

"Ron, unless this has something to do with S.P.E.W., I don't want to hear your incessant mumblings!!"

"Well, okay, but--"

"But nothing! I'm trying to help all of the elves and your meaningless conversation with me is distracting me from promoting S.P.E.W!" Hermione raged, thoroughly angered at Ron's lack of care for what she believed in.

At this point, other Gryffindors started to pay attention to Hermione. Not because they cared about house elves, but because Ron and Hermione's bickering matches were the most popular source of entertainment.

"I was just going to say that you might want to get off the table. You're flashing everyone." Ron said nonchalantly. Hermione flushed bright red. "Nice knickers by the way," Ron added meekly. Hermione quickly hopped off the table and began rattling her box full of S.P.E.W. badges towards naïve first years.

----------

For one week, Hermione had taken to hassling others with her box of badges, passing out pamphlets, and pushing an empty parchment asking people to join.

"No one seems to care!" she ranted to Ron after an unsuccessful day for S.P.E.W. She flopped down on the couch next to Ron.

"Hermione, it's not that they don't seem to care." Hermione looked up hopefully at Ron. "It's just that they don't care at all."

"Oh that's very clever," she snarled. "You're supposed to be helping me!"

"Can't. Very busy."

"With what?" she asked, her eyes narrowing.

"Well, I am…helping kittens!" Ron improvised

"You're…helping…kittens?" Hermione asked slowly in disbelief.

"Yes. Very important. You see, the other day, I passed by this kitten in a tree. He had a cold, so I went to fetch him a tissue. And then suddenly I realized: I should be helping kittens! So I have formed G.H.K.C. I like to call it ghuck."

Hermione stared at him blankly.

"Oh you haven't heard of it? It stands for Gryffindors Helping Kittens with Colds. I though I'd make it only for us Gryffindors since our mascot is a lion, and it's part of the feline family, along with kittens. What do you think?"

Hermione stomped off angrily to the girls' dorms.

"Aww, come on Hermy! I was just kidding! Don't you have a sense of humor?" Ron called after her. A door slam was his only response. "Apparently not," he said to himself.

-----------

Hermione glared at Ron the next morning. "Okay, I'll join spew," Ron said reluctantly.

"It's S.P.E.W! And what's the catch?"

"Very small catch. All you have to do is give me a kiss, and I'll join!"

"A kiss?" she asked meekly. Ron nodded his head. "Very well."

Hermione leaned over. Slowly and softly she brushed her lips against Ron's.

"Wow."

Hermione swiftly pinned a badge on Ron's shirt. "There," she said and walked away.

"Wait!" Ron called after her. Hermione turned around and walked back. "Will you go to Hogsmeade with me next weekend?"

"Only if you wear the badge on our date," she said, kissing him lightly again. She walked away with a slight hair flip.

"Trust me, this badge is never coming off," Ron said to himself.

I'm sure Hermione will be pleased.

--End--

A/N: Argh! The plot bunnies get them off me! Get them off! BTW, who got the two Gilmore GIrls references? Anyone? Yes, I know I'm a Gilmore freak! I can admit it. OK. bye now!