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RBS: From Hell, With Love
Refer to profile for the complete list of Rikkai Babbles, m'kay? If you like the series, you can check this list to see if I added anything... or you can put me on author alert? Mwahahahahaha!
Author's Note: HAPPY BURFDAY DEAR AKA-CHAN! …and is it more effective to reply to the last fic's reviews in the FOLLOWING FIC, or in the Review Reply thing? I think I'm gonna stick with ff fic 'cos then I'd be toppling two beer cans with one boot. 8'D Oh, the convenience.
"WHAT IS THIS?" Kirihara screamed as he poked the… the Mysterious THING… he'd found on his lap just a few seconds ago. He pinched it on one side and gingerly pulled it up, holding it close to his face with a squint. The Mysterious THING stared back at him boredly with nonexistent eyes, seeming to be a bit offended by the suspicion. The young boy's eyes were wide as he kept on examining. "…is it poison?"
Niou thwapped him on the head. "Why the hell do you think I'd give you poison, brat?" he asked, slightly annoyed but mostly curious.
"Because you are The Most Evil and want to give me a slow and torturous death on my birthday?"
"…Tempting."
Akaya opened his mouth to (possibly) tattle on Niou to Yukimura. His plan was quickly quashed by a particularly malevolent grin from the Trickster. Under the other's patiently watchful gaze, he awkwardly pulled the Mysterious THING closer to himself. Maybe if he accepted it, Niou-senpai would leave him alone long enough for him to burn the Mysterious THING and scatter the ashes by the train station so it could haunt someone else. Hopefully.
Niou didn't stop staring. "Are you going to open it anytime soon?"
"Um… yes?"
"When?"
"Sometime soon?"
"How 'bout now?"
"How 'bout later?"
"How's about stopping with the questions, eh? How does that sound?" an exasperated Marui butted in, tired of the not-really-a-conversation-but-might-be-able-to-pass-as-one-maybe-in-a-different-dimension-a-bazillion-years-ago going on between the two.
"How's about we give Akaya some room to open his present?" Yukimura asked in a deceivingly gentle tone.
Akaya shuddered. "B-but buchou…!"
"It's not nice to disregard Niou's present, Akaya. Especially when he worked so hard on it."
The rest of the team held back incredulous snorts. Including Niou, who could not find in his heart the truth of that statement. But whatever floats Yukimura's boat.
The team captain felt a tug at his heart upon seeing his darling baby pout… but he would be strong. He was sure that whatever Niou's gift to their kouhai was, it would be entertaining enough to make him forget the guilt for ignoring Akaya's… pain. "Go ahead and open it, Akaya," he urged with a smile. He would be very strong indeed.
The junior looked balefully at the Mysterious THING. Damn Niou-senpai for giving it to him. "…Fine. But only 'cos buchou told me to, and not 'cos I really want to open it or anything like that…" Then with a distrustful glance at Niou, he added, "And I'd better not die if I open this."
"When you open it," Yanagi corrected. In the background, Jackal, Yagyuu and Sanada had started arguing about bananas, much to the vice captain's bewilderment. The team's data man went over to them to sort out the whole thing. "I don't think it's very wise to stuff the banana in that particular area… the… would be…"
Those uninvolved tuned out the rest of the speech, albeit reluctantly. It was pretty clear that they wanted to know where EXACTLY Jackal said the banana was supposed to be stuffed into, but Akaya had sneakily started to open the Mysterious THING while they were distracted.
"Oi, Aka-chan!" Marui whined. "Don't open it by yourself!"
"…You open it, then."
"It seems really interesting that Niou-kun's present would be quite light when I was carrying it," Yagyuu announced, suddenly appearing by the Trickster. "I thought it would be heavier."
"Do you want to open it, Yagyuu-senpai?" Akaya offered.
"That's quite fine with me, but you do it. You're the celebrant after all." His glasses glinted inexplicably.
…Rikkai tennis players are all evil, Akaya concluded matter-of-factly. "FINE." His teammates loomed over him as he slowly opened the gift…
Silence.
"…OH MY GOD!" Akaya screeched, holding the no-longer-Mysterious-for-it-is-now-Unwrapped THING up in front of him. "IT'S—"
"A goddarn letter, brat, will you just friggin' read it?" Niou interrupted, standing up with a look at his watchless wrist. "I have to go now, my pretties, but I shall see you all tomorrow. Especially you," he directed the last one to Akaya with a leer. They had yet to resolve the side effects of their kiss, such as awkwardness, and so on. Of course, the real reason he had to go was so he could save face—the letter, he KNEW since he wrote it, was pretty embarrassing—but he wouldn't say that to them 'cos Marui would never let him live that down. He had to flee at once.
"Ah! I need to go, too," said Yukimura. "My parents are expecting me. Gen, Renji, my parents said they would love to have you over tonight. Want to eat dinner at my house?"
"If it's no trouble," Yanagi replied while Sanada simply nodded politely.
Marui peered up at them with wide eyes. "But—!"
"Come on, Marui!" Jackal pulled him up to his feet. "We shouldn't bother Akaya and his family and their house any further. They'll all get mad."
"No, they won't," retorted the redhead. "I happen to know that Aka-chan's parents like me well enough."
"Well enough to kill you, you mean."
Marui simply huffed.
Akaya blinked when one moment, the room was bustling with the sounds of the Regulars picking up their stuff and the next moment, Marui was shutting the door with a very loud, "SEE YOU ON MONDAY, AKA-CHAN!" that was probably even heard by his neighbours from the next town over.
The paper in his hand wrinkled innocently.
Oh, right. Niou-senpai's letter.
Dear Kirihara Akaya/demon/brat/stupid/more insults here,
I'm writing this letter to you because I used up this week's allowance on stuff you don't want to know about… and 'cos paper is cheap, and I've always wanted to use this silver pen on white paper. I hope your eyes bleed while trying to read this. (This is the part where you imagine me laughing in an evil manner, thanks.)
Anyway, I don't write letters AT ALL, so you should be grateful that I'm giving you one. This is the first letter I've written since the one in first grade which I sent to my classmate who left his bag on my chair. As you can probably infer (TRANSLATION for your puny brain: infer means deduce which means guess) from what I've already written—assuming you even managed to read it with the silver pen and all—my letters are for very special purposes only.
Treasure this one.
It will most likely be the last you'll ever get. From me, anyway.
By now, I'm sure everyone is gone and you're reading this all alone… wherever you are. Still in the living room, I bet, knowing you. Enjoying? I know I am. Who knew that writing letters to you would be so much fun? I resolve never to do it again.
So my point in writing this letter is: Happy Birthday.
Someday, I'm going to get around to buying you a decent present. Something you won't be able to rip apart. Something like handcuffs, but NOT handcuffs 'cos I already mentioned them. Something you won't be able to guess. Just. You. Wait.
About the KISS, and I'm emphasizing that 'cos I want to, we'll talk about it. I'll be playing tennis tomorrow in the street courts at 3pm. Yagyuu's not going to be there 'cos he has to be with his family tomorrow. Something about a cult and sacrificing telebutties. (Don't ask me what those things are; trust me, you don't want to know. Or maybe you do, but who cares?)
That's all, brat.
LOVE (but not literally),
Niou Masaharu
(Edited.) Done. HAPPY BIRTHDAY AKAYA HONEYMUFFINCAKES! Ohoho…
Review to help me become a better person. 8'D