From Cacnea to Cacturne: A Harley Story

by Merry Muppet

When asked why Harley had no tricks for beating May in Wisteria Town, he would say he wanted to prove he could beat her fair and square. The embarrassing truth is that he spent the night before reflecting on his life, and ran out of time to plot.

Some say it's ridiculous to hold grudges, especially ones that involve innocent mistakes. Some say it's villainous to trick little girls, then laugh at them out-right. Most would say that "she said my Pokémon was scary" is vain reasoning. Not a single person would agree with, "she looks like this one girl who ate my hot-dog when I was little, and I hate her by association." That was where Harley was unusual.

To be perfectly honest, Harley was actually unusual in many respects. He sashayed his hips when he walked, he let his purple hair grow long and wavy, he only trained creepy looking Pokémon, and he dressed like a Cacturne. Pokémon cosplay wasn't so unusual in the coordinating world, but Harley dressed like a Cacturne every day of his life. Most cosplayers dressed only for contests, but not Harley. The green diamonds stayed on him when he caught Pokémon; the hat stayed on his head when he treated himself to dinner. He even wore a modified version of his outfit to bed.

Almost every person who encountered Harley labeled him as "gay," usually in whispers they thought he couldn't hear. Harley wasn't offended, but he wasn't pleased. If anything, he was amused. Harley had no love for other humans, male or female. He had love only for himself and his Pokémon, and maybe Norman. If Harley were to go sexual for anyone, it would have to be Norman.

Harley smirked at the thought of it. He had daydreams in which Norman divorced Caroline and found love in Harley. It was fun to dream up, but within five minutes, May would pop in his head. One night after too many licks of the cookie spoon, he dreamed that May stabbed Harley in Norman's bed. It was funny in a dark sort of way, because Harley knew that May lacked the guts.

Harley sighed a flamboyant sigh and fingered a Pokeball. "Only you understand me, Cacturne," he muttered. Realizing how cheesy that sounded, he shook his head, causing his purple locks to whip around him. He sighed again, this sigh even more aggravated and flamboyant than the last.

There was a contest the next day, what would be Harley's fourth Kanto ribbon. Harley still needed a plot against May, but he couldn't stop his mind from wandering. He pulled his old diary from his pocket, green and covered in what else but a diamond design, and turned to the first page.