No.
Don't..
Just don't.
"I'm fucking leaving, what does it look like?"
You don't breathe, you don't pause. You want to get this done; I can see it in your eyes. You don't want to leave but you have to.
Emotion over Logic.
No, not Emotion.
Irrationality.
You think this will save Mimi but…
"You're running away, that's what it fucking looks like," I answer bravely. My voice quivers. My heart stops. My breathing quickens. You look determined; I'm trying desperately not to fall apart. You can't fucking go.
Can't fucking leave.
"This isn't running away. I'm keeping Mimi safe from.." Safe from this something too late. I'm saving myself from being attached like what Collins was to Angel. I don't want to see you break down when I'm- The loft echoes for both of us to hear. You look at me, eyes pleading. You never plead.
I'm not giving in.
My knees are shaking but I stand firmly in front of the door, refusing to let him pass. "Why can't you see I need you here?" I ask. "That's not… not a fucking reason. Can't you… fucking stop the lies?" But you ignore me anyway and make a move to push me away but I'm not letting you go.
No.
With a clumsy jump, I ambush you from behind; crumpling both of us into the decaying wood we call a floor. I was surprised with the success I had by pinning you down. Luckily you had already sold your guitar; it's probably break under my awkward action.
You're looking away. Fucking look away.
Look at me.
"Roger."
You look with the hint of reluctance. You're not even fighting to get off anymore. Now you want to talk?
"Why Santa Fe? Why so far?"
Why so fucking
Far?
"Dammit, I don't want anyone to be around while I waste away." I hit you on the head and you punch me back.
"What the fuck was that for?" you yell.
Stay. If not for me, at least for her.
"I'm trying to knock some sense into your mind," I yell back. We both stand but you make no move to leave.
"Shit," you comment my now bloody nose. Thanks so much by the way. "See, this is why I didn't tell you. I knew you'd stop me anyway." You run your hand through you blonde locks, a nervous habit. Something you picked up from me. Or vice versa.
"You're damn right. You're not leaving period. The only way you'll waste away is if you detach."
You shake your head, hair flying around, and all that poetic shit. Even in this awkward situation, I can still find you beautiful. "Angel wasted away and Collins was there for him— her." We both smile. Short. Quick. You turn away and pick up your fallen luggage. I grab you by the arm and turn you around.
One last time. Just listen to me.
For once.
"Stay. If not for her, then for me," I say. I try to make it sound like a confession and, at the same time, hide any romantic attachments linked to those words.
I also have to learn how to attach.
Your eyes hold different emotions and I understand what they say about the world stopping. You pull me towards you and I knew. I knew.
So close. Eyes to eye, breath to breath, lips to-
What I didn't know was that you'd pull away last minute.
"Bye," you whisper to my ear, too afraid to say it at my face.
Bye.
--
My first RENT! OMG, wow.
One las thing, I was not thinking when I wrote this so..
Disclaimed!