Disclaimer: I don't own anything of the Lord of the Rings.
Note: This is a one short from Glorfindel's point of view as he asks Erestor a question.
Author: Laurenke1
Title: Opposites
Warning: Slash
Pairing: Glorfindel and Erestor.
Summary: It started with a question that got Glorfindel thinking but can the answer be accepted by Erestor?
"But why can you not love me?" The dark eyes were shimming with tears. Emotions that I could not place yet I was all too familiar with. I too did not know the answer to that question. Well actually I knew the answer but it would never be accepted by him.
Finally his mouth sets itself in a sneer I have seen time and time again when he dealt with those who annoyed him. As a councillor he was taught never to lose his patients and therefore he was thought to be cold hearted but now I was being the cold hearted. I could see the mask replacing the emotions as he finally said. "I am sorry to have bothered you with this obvious unimportant question, lord Glorfindel. I will leave you now."
Before I can utter a word he is out the door and I hear his footsteps die away. Only then do I allow myself to feel the anguish I created.
Yes, Erestor, you deserve an answer and I will give you one. Yet the answer is why I cannot love, well that is not really the question you are interested in. You want to know why I do love you, for I know I do and I thought my actions were clear on my part but I was wrong. You thought I was merely flirting and put your heart in it, a heart that is now broken.
The long centuries since we have known each other you have been and still are my total opposite. You are dark where I am light. Midnight dark hair as where mine is sun golden. Nearly black eyes while mine are blue. Silent as where I have to be present.
Yes, you prefer to be unnoticed while I am noticed by everyone. Whether I like it or not. Whether I want to or not.
Yet we are combined in similar things. Our love and sword allegiance but most importantly friendship to lord Elrond of Rivendell. And then there is our love for one another.
I have been called a flirt and a ladies elf but that is not who I am. They are just tales and while I do get on easy with the maidens, it is for you that my heart yearns. You are the only one who can make me shy, a mere shadow of myself. I always tease you and you give me the cold shoulder but now I know why you do that. You love me.
Your plan worked, my dear Erestor. You startled me, you made me think. You made me feel that I can lose you. I have to act and soon but I do not know how.
A knock on the door startled me and I hope with my foolish heart that you return. That you allow me to talk to you and answer your question. "Enter." I force out. My voice is shaking as are my hands and I hope that you do not notice.
But it is not you that enters but another one. I can see the worry etched clearly on his face. My friend who I have come back from death to protect. Elrond is standing there until he walks closer. I stiffen and try to put some distance between us but his voice has me breaking. "Oh, Glorfindel, what have you done?"
I do not say anything as he wraps his arms around me but I allow him to comfort me. I cannot seem to form words to lie to my lord until I finally choke out the truth. "I love him. Elrond but I could not tell him that. I was too late and now I do not know what to do."
I know he needs no more that then as he draws back and looks at me with an odd look in his eyes. "It is never too late for love, Glorfindel. I have waited 1500 years to Celebrian that I loved her and never once did I regret the changes I did not take. It is not yet to late, my friend."
"But he already left. He turns my mind around. He cannot see I am not the same Glorfindel with him as with anybody else. He weakens me while I yearn for nothing more then to be in his arms and forget the world."
"How so?"
"I am silent and shy when I normally speak easily and freely. He leaves me weak, Elrond." I choke out finally, not knowing how to put it in words how he makes me feel. How truly alive he makes me when he smiles at me, even if it is just a teasing smile but a smile all the same. When he scowls at me, I feel like the world is going to tumble down around me. Yet he cannot see it. He cannot see that he makes me the opposite of what he loves.
"Then make him see with the one he loves." Elrond merely answers, clasping my hand. I look at him strangely and then smiling sadly I shake my head. Nay it is too late and Erestor shall never answer the question I never asked him.
"He loves you, Glorfindel and you have to act now or you shall lose him. By losing you he will pass into the West, unable to be happy any longer. I know you have already made the preparations without ever having the hope of asking him this. And you know of what I speak." Elrond grins at me and I realize my lord knows me better then me.
"I will help you. We shall do it tonight, at the feast." With those hopeful words he directs me to the closet where the package waits that he asked me to keep for him. I look back at him but he nods and I finally open the doors, taking out the package.
He gestures for me to open it and I do. My breathing catches in my throat and I look at him. He smiles at me and I look down again. There, nestled in the dark cloth were two silver rings. I need no words to know that these are. They are betrothal rings. I will ask Erestor to bind with me.
Wordlessly I look back up at Elrond in silent thanks. He smiles once more and then nods. Nobody ever said that Elrond never thought of anything. "The rest is up to you, Glorfindel. Do not disappoint me." He says sternly and then he walks out, leaving me to plan the evening.
That evening I finger my pale blue robe nervously. Normally fingers would have covered mine, fingers I longed to kiss. But now they are gone, leaving me numb and aching for his comfort. He does not acknowledge my presence even when I come to stand beside him. His face and eyes betray nothing and I know I must cross a heavy line tonight. He never made his affection to me publicly known but I must do so now to even make him look at me.
For a time we had been inseparable and I know he made the first step, a step I could not make out of fear of losing him. Those few months were the happiest of my life yet we never officially crossed the line as being more then friends. No kiss, not quick peck on the cheek, nothing. Just mere glances and sometimes touches as he calmed me.
He knows I hate these public affairs. He knows I hate the part I have to play in them. The part that the maidens demand of me. Yet it seems I have played the part too well for he believes my heart lies with the fair sex while it lies with my own, while it lies with him.
I smile for I know that tonight there shall be no play. Tonight they shall see the real me. "What in the name of the Valar are you smiling for?" He asks his voice cold and I can feel the smile fading away.
"Nothing, Erestor." I reply my voice sad and I know he catches it as he gives my hand a quick squeeze while his eyes become alive with that pain once more. Then the doors open and he is gone, leaving me more shaken then I would have liked.
I steel myself; tonight I shall have my answer. I force a smile to my face and step into the room with a high head. Although the dinner I keep silent and even throughout the dancing I play my part, dancing with many of the maidens and making comments on the beauty of each of them as their mothers present them to me, hoping for a suitable match.
Finally I get a break from the dancing and I catch the look Elrond is sending me. I know now the time is right and I take a deep breath. I force all of my thoughts away and I nod to my lord. He then in turn signals to one of the minstrels and they begin a song. It is a tune I know well for it is one of Erestor's favourite numbers and I see him startle as the music reached his ears. Yet he does not allow it to bother him and he quickly masks his reaction and continues his conversation with some of his fellow councillors.
Yes, it is time. I take a deep breath and walk to Erestor. He is standing with his back to me but must have gathered that it was me by the reaction of his fellow elves. He does not turn but I can see him tensing every so slightly.
Finally I clear my throat behind him and I ask. "Would you care to dance, Erestor?" I know I have startled him but then he turns to me. I can see an accusation in his eyes. What right do I have to hurt him so but I smile slightly and I see him relax.
His mind must be racing but as I hold out my shaking hand, his eyes lock onto mine and I nearly gasp at the same emotions that I see in them from this afternoon. Finally he nods and he says. "Yes, I would like that."
Dancing of the same sex couples is not rare for elves but for me it is. And for Erestor because he hardly ever dances. He walks besides me to the dance floor. Finally he places his hand in mine and I know people have gathered to watch.
My hand lingers in the air before I finally place it at his waist. We sway slowly to the music and he cannot hide it anymore. "Why are you doing this? Do you enjoy hurting me?"
"No, Erestor. I do not. I am doing this because it is time to drop the act. I have played it for too long and you demanded an answer, making me think. I have not given you one. I will give you one now." He looks puzzled. I cannot help but laugh for it is said that nobody ever catches the head councillor of Elrond off guard.
I lean closer and say. "I will give you my answer if you shall give me one."
He catches hold of himself and looks at me, saying. "You have not asked me a question yet." He appears quite pleased with himself and I laugh yet again, saying. "You are right, dear Erestor. You are only to right."
I take the hand I placed on his waist and reach inside my robe to take out the velvet box. My hand opens it and it takes out the two rings. Yet I hold then firmly in my hand, not showing them to him. "You have lost your mind, Glorfindel. What are you speaking about?"
"About love. About us. About opposites. About answers and questions."
"What questions, you fool?" He then hisses, unable to keep the pain from his voice.
Yes it is time. It is now or never and as I take a deep breath, I sink down upon one knee, still holding his hand. I can hear the gasps of the crowd but I care not, ignoring them as I can see the confusion and hurt in his dark beautiful eyes as he stares down at me. "You asked of me an answer to a question I cannot answer. You asked of me why I could not love you but there is no answer for that. There is an answer for why I love you. Because you are kind, generous, sweet, have a wicked and teasing tongue and because I am selfish. I wish to have your eyes gaze at me with love and patience for the rest of my life. I wish to drop all pretences and to tell you it is true that opposites attract. You are everything I am not and for that alone I love you. Therefore I ask my question. Will you pledge troth with me, Erestor of Rivendell?"
Silence decense as my heart beats heavier with each passing moment. His eyes dart to Elrond but I know Elrond is smiling. I also know his sons, Elladan and Elrohir are smiling. They would cheer if only he would give his answer.
My hope deserts me and I bow my head, releasing his hand. I swallow thickly and the next moment I hear the soft rustling of clothes as he sinks down upon his knees as well. His strong fingers hook underneath my chin and he forces me to meet his gaze. His eyes are burning with love and passion and then I know I have my answer; all I have to do is wait.
"Yes, Glorfindel, I will pledge troth with you but only because it is tradition for I long to bind with you and spent the rest of my life with you. I love you." He then chokes as I finally place the silver ring on his finger. He then takes the other one from my hand to place it around my finger. Yet in a year time it will be replaced by a golden band and I will be able to feel him beside me.
But right now there is just one more thing I have to do. I know he will hate me for it but the next moment we are on our feet and my arms are wrapped soundly around his waist and I lift him up. I spin him around before meeting his lips in a mind blowing kiss. I can feel him gasp and make use of the distraction to slide my tongue in. He moans and wraps his arms around my neck.
Finally we let go, much to the cheering of the crowd and I know his arm is as much to steady me as I have to steady him. We accept the congratulations as I turn to look him in the eye, finally pulling him close and murmuring in his ear. "Are you satisfied with the answer?"
"Yes, but I long to hear another answer in a year time." He smiles and then places a feather light kiss on my cheek, causing me to smile as I pull him close. My Erestor, my mate, my lover and husband but most importantly the one who demanded an answer and got one he deserved.
Do you guys want to see the wedding or not? What do you think? Let me know please.