Lillith set her phone on the table, face down, and looked at it for a moment. She knew the odds were slim that the number would still work, but she needed to try.
Erasmus laid at her feet with his chin resting on his paws but his eyes were constantly scanning the area. It had been nearly a month since Alejandro showed up at her work and that much time since her awakening. Since then, she'd agreed to take on Erasmus full time and work her way up from there.
She picked up her phone and read the screen. She'd tried the number a few days after they'd argued and again earlier that day. The third time was not the charm.
Lillith pushed her chair back and Erasmus immediately leaped to his feet, ready for their next task. He was so diligent while on duty that she wondered if she could make any progress at all with him. But she'd remember how he turned a 180 once his harness was removed and suddenly, he wanted nothing more than to play and be loved on and just be a normal dog.
She wished it were that easy for people. But they were complicated than that. It wasn't a switch that could be flipped, it was a series of switches, buttons, dials, wheels and every other manner of regulation.
Lillith whistled a sharp, staccato tune signaling to him that it was time to go and for him to keep at her side. While they ventured out again, she pulled a pair of sunglasses from her bag and slipped them on. Her eyes constantly scanned her surroundings and every face that passed her. Now and again, she'd glance down at Erasmus who was as vigilant as he always was, but was making no indication that anything was off.
She rounded the corner to the street her home was on and quickly surveyed the area. It happened so quickly that she didn't have time to stop and by the time she realized what she was seeing, it would have been too late, so she kept walking, but more slowly.
Down the street, leaned against a nondescript sedan was Alejandro. He was looking directly at her and she could tell, even with his sunglasses on. Sensing her uneasiness, Erasmus quickened his pace but only just enough to put himself somewhat in front of her. His eyes were fixed on Alejandro and unmoving.
Lillith stopped several feet away. She wasn't sure what she was feeling, let alone how to respond to the situation. She hoped she'd get to tell him what she'd been trying to tell him, but she feared he wouldn't want to listen or care.
He removed his sunglasses and tucked them into the inner pocket of his coat. "I didn't know you still had that number." He finally said.
"I didn't either." she slid her sunglasses onto the top of her head. "What are you doing here?" she asked a little more tersely than she intended.
He feigned indignance then he stood, again, seemingly not too concerned with Erasmus. "You called three times. Whatever it was, must have been pretty important."
"So just pick up the phone."
She cursed herself mentally for being so standoffish. She didn't know why she was letting her mouth run like that. "I mean, kind of. Yeah. I guess it's better to talk about it in person."
"I thought so too." He nodded his head at Erasmus, "Does he mind?"
Lillith gave him the okay to stand down, but still, he eyed Alejandro as he neared. "C'mon. The neighbors are nosey and the trees have ears." She had Erasmus move to the other side of her so that she and Alejandro could use the sidewalk. "I didn't expect this. To say I was caught off guard is an understatement."
"Seems I've gotten pretty good at that lately."
"Lately?"
They briefly exchanged smirks before it became quiet again. When they reached the walkway to her home, they paused. Lillith hesitated before looking up at him,
"I'll get him out of his harness and you both can relax." she teased.
He said nothing and followed her inside. Once Erasmus was released from his harness, he immediately grabbed a rubber toy and went off to play with himself. Lillith went into the kitchen and Alejandro followed, already familiar with the layout.
"Thirsty?" She invited.
"Nah." he gave a slight wave then he looked around at anything that might have changed since he'd last been there. In the other room, Erasmus growled and his toy squeaked intermittently.
Lillith half-smiled. "I never imagined there was still a puppy deep down inside of him."
"Isn't he yours?"
"Kind of. People haven't been the only things I've been pushing away." She admitted, then she took a drink from her water bottle so she had an excuse not to look at him. "And uh, about that. About everything the last time we saw each other." she fumbled with the cap for her water, not quite screwing it all the way on then unscrewing it again. "Alejandro, I didn't mean to insinuate anything about you, or your family or what happened to them. You know I cared for them. A lot. I still do." She sighed and glanced up at him and he was only staring back at her with his impassive expression. "Kind of why, I uhm, one of the reasons I keep-"
"No, I know." he cut in, saving her from the anxiety building inside of her. "Is that it?"
She looked up at him and furrowed her brows. He gave her a bemused look so she rolled her eyes harmlessly.
"I guess I just wanted to apologize for being a frigid bitch and saying all of that shit to you. I don't know what you wanted or what you were trying to do, but-" She shrugged.
The way he looked at her, she knew he knew she was lying. He knew that she knew why he'd come, but neither could bring themselves to admit it. So they just stood in the kitchen in silence for the longest minute they'd had in a while.
Erasmus made loud, playful sound of something between a bark and a whine and his toy sighed loudly as it filled with air again. Lillith looked but couldn't see him in the other room, so she looked back at Alejandro.
"Do you still think it's impossible?" he asked abruptly.
She breathed out a long breath, "I don't know what to think anymore. I wanted to believe that I'd come so far and was pretty much a regular ass person, but, I don't know if there's going back to regular after everything we went through." Lillith flipped her hair from her face with a quick flick of her head, "and I don't know if it's actually any better to try and pretend on my own or be honest with myself but with somebody who gets it."
He was quiet, as he tended to be, so she occupied the awkward empty space by setting her water bottle down. "Anyway. Sorry. That's what I wanted to say." she concluded dejectedly. She heard his clothes rustle as he moved his arms from a crossed position to supporting him as he leaned against the counter behind him.
"I realize it's likely too late for-" paused as she thought of how to put it, "why you originally came to see me. I accept that, but-" she stopped short and looked up sharply because he was suddenly inches from her.
He cupped her face in his hands and closed the space between them. After a moment, he pulled back, "There's a lot of things we were too late for. This isn't one of them."
Lillith couldn't hold his gaze and she looked off to the side at nothing in particular. "Is this a good idea? Is it-is it safe?" she murmured.
He opened his mouth to speak but the words didn't come easily to him. His false start made her nervous but she soon found out why the words tumbled from him like crumpled letters. "I don't know." he said, those words not often spoken by him.
She reached up and clasped her hands over his. She could feel the tips of his fingers pressing into her skin as he struggled internally. She could tell he wasn't sure if he should remain there, or pull away. She hooked her fingers over his hand to keep him there.
She didn't know if it was safe, but she decided that if she'd wanted safe, she would have never called him and she would have never taken Erasmus full time. She knew if she wanted safe, she wouldn't have changed anything since last they met, but here they were.
"We've built our lives on danger." She started, still not looking at him, "Why stop now, right?"
Their gaze held as he leaned in again. Lillith allowed herself to enjoy it and even if just for a second, she let herself just be a normal person in a normal world doing something normal. She shut her eyes and felt his hands move beneath hers so she let go, hands hovering, as he slipped his down to her shoulders. She gently gripped his forearms as she realized that years of repressed feelings were escalating and trying to escape all at once, and it excited her. It was such a long lost feeling that she almost laughed in sheer anticipation and relief.
She slid her hands to he chest and sneaked them under his jacket. It took only that gesture for him to remove it and toss it aside with barely a glance, the sunglasses in his inner pocket forgotten.
He paused and she averted her eyes. Neither seemed sure of why. Perhaps it was some unspoken request for verification.
Hands trembling, she urged him closer by gently tugging on his sides. He obliged and took her by the waist. Rather than rejoining their lips, he buried his face into her neck, her familiar smell filling his heads and making him dizzy. She tilted her head to the side, inviting him to stay, to do what he wanted so long as he stayed near.
"Careful" she chided softly, "I gotta go to work tomorrow."
She felt him chuckle against her skin, "No you don't." he then moved to the other side of her neck.
She laughed because he was right. She honestly thought that maybe she could fool him this one time, but as usual, he was at least one step ahead. At that point in time, she didn't care how he knew. It didn't matter anyway.
Without any thought, she lifted one leg and arched into him. He groaned and pressed back against her. "Wait- shouldn't we go-" she started.
"Too far." was his succinct reply. He pulled away only to lift her onto the breakfast bar, but not without having to quickly sweep some odds and ends to the side first. She held onto his biceps, not sure of what else to do with her hands. She would have held his face if she weren't sure it would impede them as they took turns prying each other's lips apart.
Alejandro gripped her arms so hard, she was sure she would bruise, but she didn't care. She kind of hoped she would. She hooked her legs over his hips and urged her groin against his. She wasn't sure if the pulsing she felt was his or her own. When he pressed against her putting his weight behind his hips, she cried out partially in frustration and partially in desperation. She heard him cuss into the nape of her neck then felt his teeth pressing against her soft, thin skin. His breaths came out in loud bursts and some were throaty grunts that made her vertebrae vibrate.
'Is he a biter?' she wondered, 'Do I try and find out?'
The real question for her, was why the holdup? She hooked her ankles together arched into him, her hips rotating in such a way that he could have effortlessly slipped inside of her had they not still been fully dressed.
He uttered a string of words from somewhere deep in the back of his throat, only a few she recognized as her Spanish was rusty. Finally he took one hand from her upper arm and slipped it under her shirt. As he snaked it up between her breasts, her shirt rose and she wriggled so that it could gather up by her shoulders. He easily palmed her ribcage which throbbed against his touch as her heart raced. He paused his assault on her neck and panted as if to focus on sliding his hands down to unfasten her pants. She regretted wearing such a form-fitting pair and hoped the perspiration wouldn't make them cling too badly.
She rose her hips just long enough to allow him to tug her pants to her knees and from there, she kicked them off herself. While she did, he unfastened his own pants and lowered them just enough. When he pressed against her, her hips jerked against him. He was so close, but he didn't move to make away with the last barrier between them.
Not wanting to wait and hoping to do something of use, she pulled her shirt off and tossed it past her head to somewhere on the floor near the dining table.
His hands clasped her just below her breasts while he briefly beheld her as she lay panting beneath him. She could feel him jerk against her sex as if it knew and was fighting to be free. Still, he did nothing to relieve them of their last obstacle. Rather than take hold of her breasts like she anticipated, as men seemed to usually do, he leaned in as if to kiss her between her heaving peaks but instead trailed up to her clavicles. His hands remained where they were on her chest, strong and capable of snapping the bones beneath them with one fell thrust. The thought excited her, knowing that he could easily break her like a cheap piece of furniture and that he knew exactly how, yet despite the primal forces thundering at his core, he remained in control.
She ran her hand over the buttons on his shirt, his pesky shirt that was probably suffocating and restraining him. She picked at the buttons, more or less wordlessly seeking permission to undo them. His own hand came up and deftly undid his shirt. The motion was so quick, she could have believed he simply yanked it open, but even with the sound of their throaty breaths filling the room, she heard no sign of buttons popping off or fabric tearing.
He didn't remove it totally, but he didn't need to because all she wanted was to feel his torso with her own hands. She didn't look or feel for what his body was like because she didn't care. She only wanted to feel his skin and his warmth. He closed the space between them so she slipped her arms around his neck, inviting him in.
She felt his shaft sliding against her squarely between the lips of her sex. She was certain he could feel her wetness through her thin, cotton panties. His hips brought his tip against her opening where it pressed urgently into her. She pressed back though they both knew what they needed to do first.
She slid one arm out from around his shoulders and down to begin inching her panties off. His hand caught hers and held tightly.
"Wait-" He breathed.
She thought she knew what he was worried about. "It's good, I'm covered. I promise," she said between pants.
"Nono, not that. I-" He was somehow able to maneuver their hands in such a way that he held hers with his thumb pressing against her palm. "I don't want to hurt you."
Lillith scoffed, amused. "You don't actually think I'm still a virgin, do you?"
He looked directly at her with a devilish smile. "No." he bluntly stated.
"Okay, so what are you, half horse then?" he rose a brow at her, "Kidding. I'll be fine."
"Lil," the sound of her pet name on his lips made the skin on her chest tighten, "You and I both know I have a lot of self-restraint. But with some things, not so much."
Lillith laced her fingers with his and brought their hands to her face. "I trust you."
He held her gaze for a moment, gauging her meaning. In a wordless way, the way that rarely happens except in a brief moment of total trust and understanding, he knew that she really did trust him and his judgment. She knew him well enough to know that he would pull back if needed.
He moved up and pressed his lips to her collarbone then her neck before ending right under the angle of her jaw. His lips brushed the skin there then suddenly he opened his mouth around her flesh and pressed his teeth into her. He'd grabbed her wrists and kept her pinned but she still arched hard against him and cried out. She didn't struggle and she even turned her head invitingly. The feeling of her throbbing veins rhythmically pulsing against his teeth made him groan. He had to grip her wrists tightly to keep himself from breaking her skin.
When it was almost too much, he broke contact, "Are you okay?"
She winced but she nodded followed by a shaky "Yeah." she sighed but with a slight smile. They mutually understood his power, but also his strength. She was strong, yes, but in his hands, she was totally subject to his willpower and could be broken to pieces if he so decided. He loomed over her with his strong hands gripping her wrists, solid trunk pinning her to the counter and his sturdy legs coiled for action.
Satisfied, he returned his mouth to a different part of her neck but he didn't immediately sink her teeth into her. He placed her wrists together over her head then grabbed them with one hand so that he could slide her panties away with the other. She eagerly kicked them away while he pulled his own far enough down. For a split second, his tip glanced against her inner thigh as he shifted closer. She could feel the precum cooling on her skin.
Finally, he touched the bottom of his shaft against her, letting her feel how solid and hot he'd become for her. Every throb nudged against her flush lips and made her hips jerk again. He rotated his hips allowing for her to coat him with her wetness; every time his tip nestled into her, he bit down on her neck. She cried out loudly. Erasmus' nails clicked on the wood but even he knew to keep his distance.
With his free hand, he grabbed her leg and pulled it up against his side. His tip sank into her then slowly pushed deeper and deeper until he could go no further. Lillith breathed shakily and couldn't help but weakly mewl.
She heard him chuckle and he muttered something to her she couldn't understand. Whatever it was, it made her shiver anyway, the way it rumbled from the depths of his chest.
His arm wrapped around her thigh, her leg now nearly over his shoulder, and his fingertips dug into her. He withdrew quickly then thrust into her somewhat hard. After a few practice thrusts, he began to withdraw more rapidly and slam into her with all of his weight. She could feel his tip ramming against the frontmost wall of her sex and it made her tense up. After a short while, she seemed to relax enough to where she felt no pain and only the sensation of him filling her and rapidly sliding against her tightening walls. Even his fingers boring into her thigh didn't bother her or the feeling of his teeth threatening to bleed her. She felt the bones of her wrists grinding against each other but it was nothing compared to finally feeling Alejandro.
She arched, unable to help herself. She wanted to feel his chest beating against hers. He released her wrists and her thigh. His arms snaked under her back now that she was no longer pressed against the cool tile. He shifted her just a little more off of the counter.
She cried out, she panted and she even cussed his name. There was so much pent up inside of her that she thought she'd need to scream and kick just to release it all.
He then did something nobody had done before. He kept one arm beneath her and grabbed her shoulder while the other did the same but across her chest. He looked directly at her and she wasn't sure if she was supposed to look away, keep her eyes closed or what but she couldn't resist staring back into his face for he had an expression she'd never seen on him before yet if she tried to describe it, it would sound as though she were describing him at any other time doing any other thing.
The hand gripping her shoulder from above clasped her neck and it broke her trance. She held onto it with one of her hands. His pace slowed only so that he could lean in and kiss her once more before he parted and heaved into her a few more times. He was so loud that she was sure the neighbors heard him. The dog in the next yard over certainly did.
She was glad he was holding onto her so tightly because she was sure she may have slid too far back otherwise. She urged him on, encouraging him to empty himself inside of her. She kept her legs locked around him until he had become completely still. He panted hard above her. Even with her sex throbbing wildly, she could feel him too, occasionally giving a jerk inside of her.
She laid back and panted as well. She didn't expect to come. In a way, she was relieved to not have to fumble with herself. She got what she wanted.
He looked up at her and she cussed. Her legs seemed to vibrate with fatigue from gripping him so hard. He ran one hand up and down her leg then he gave her thigh a squeeze. "Made a bit of a mess." he noted.
Lillith made a dismissive motion. "It's tile."
She could feel him retreating inside of her, and so could he, so he gently pulled out but he didn't pull away. He leaned above her on his elbows. His eyes were fixed on the bite marks he left. Lillith knew what he was looking at, she felt it. She reached up to touch them but he stopped her.
"Ah-ah. Don't."
"Did you break the skin?"
"No, but don't agitate it."
She laid beneath him until she caught her breath then she became still and quiet. If not for her gently rising chest, she could have been mistaken as being dead.
Alejandro stood up and composed himself then pulled Lillith into a sitting position. She draped one of her arms across her chest and looked at the adjacent cabinet. He went into the dining area and returned with her shirt. She went to put it on but again, he stopped her. He left deeper into the house. She could tell be the creaks in the floorboards where he'd gone. Sure enough, when he came back, he had her first aid kid in hand.
She sat quietly as he treated her bites and examined her bruises.
"How long do I have?" she joked.
"I'd call your immediate family." He returned while he cleaned up. "Now you can put that on."
Lillith did as she was told. While he washed his hands, she watched him. She hoped to do it discreetly but he suddenly glanced at her. Rather than say anything, he smirked.
"What's that shit eating grin for?"
He stood in front of her but said nothing. Lillith, after a moment of doubt, leaned in and draped her arms around his shoulders then rested her head against him.
"What now." she murmured into his shirt.
She thought he'd awkwardly stand while she leaned on him, furthering her uneasiness, but he placed his hands on her sides. "Water."
"In the fridge."
They parted so that he could grab a bottle. The cap twisted off in two jerks and he nearly downed the whole thing in one go. Lillith leaned forward with her hands on the edge of the counter. "So I guess I'll see you when you pop in sometime. Or will you be off the grid for a while?"
"Or you could call."
She gave him a dubious brow raise. "Are you gonna actually answer?"
"Maybe."
She laughed stiffly. She knew there was a high probability that it was going to be a one time deal, something to get it all out of their system. The nature of their life, she knew it was foolish to daydream.
She looked up Alejandro who had come to stand inches in front of her. He set his now empty bottle down. "Thank you, Alejandro. For not totally writing me off after all of this time. After the last time we saw each other."
"I'm glad you called."
He took her hands into his and faced them palm up. The bruises almost completely ebbed all the way around. She laughed. "Fuck. I'm gonna have to stay in or dig out my long sleeves."
"I'll be more careful next time."
Her eyes rose to meet his. She tried not to her hope spill onto her face. He seemed sincere so she said, "Nah. Where's the fun in that?"
He helped her off of the counter and they slowly ambled back to the front of the house. "I know nothing's ever gonna be normal for us, but I think I know now that I'd rather face it head on with somebody who understands than try to live in denial alone."
"Exactly."