It's the code that helps us keep our humanity; there is a fine line between human and something other. Keep to the code and you won't ever have to find out what it's like to be on the other side of that line.
This is the same lecture that every hunter gets when they first find out, when they're trained. She holds the photo in her hands, her mother and fathers hands are clasped, her mother looks beautiful in her prom dress, and brown hair pinned and curled. They are so happy it takes her breath away. She wonders what happened.
Lydia smirks at her, she looks impeccable today with her hair pulled back and dress just a bit short if she leans back a bit more she can almost...
"Well?" Lydia is wearing blood red lipstick today; idly she wonders how she knows just what shade of red blood is.
"Sorry, I didn't hear you." Lydia laughs and she thinks she missed something important yet again.
Scott smiles at her dopily and she smiles right back. She loves the way his cheeks turn pink and his eyes never leave hers if they don't have to. He's like a puppy and he's gentle and why does no one in her family like him? It's this huge mystery because he is nothing but polite, and isn't it cute that he's nervous and scared of her parents?
(She ignores how the fear behind his eyes doesn't go away as the night goes on and how her aunt smiles at him and it's all teeth and her father doesn't smile at all and her mother brandishes her knife like she's going to stab him).
Stick by the code and only those that deserve it get hurt. Stick by the code and you'll be able to sleep just fine at night. Her father always talks about the code this, the code that but she wonders why her mother never says a thing about it. Probably just because she thinks her father talks about it enough for the both of them.
Aunt Kate is humming in the kitchen while she makes pancakes and when she sees the smile on her face stretches and she wonders how many sleepless nights auntie Kate has had.
"What's wrong alley cat?" Auntie Kate sets a plate down in front of her and then makes one for herself.
"I know, it's hard at first to get used to the idea that there is another world out there but you need to adapt. It's kill or be killed in this world. Be stronger than them. You were born for this Alli, and someday you will lead this family. For now eat your pancakes, they're getting cold."
She nods numbly and eats the pancakes. They don't taste like much.
The arrow hurts and the red liquid is warm and she's bleeding, that's her blood, there is an arrow in her stomach. She stumbles back and it hurts a lot, hurts more than Derek ripping her aunt's throat out, than her father's ire, her mother's cold demeanor. Nobody notices as she bleeds and she looks around for the person who shot her.
She spots a figure striding towards her, can see her lips curled into a wicked smirk. Her hands are clad in black gloves and they remove her hood and it's her, she stops and this can't be her, she would never do something like this, there is a code she follows, she has to follow the code.
"You are so pathetic." She's never heard her voice like this, cold and cruel, she sneers and snarls and reaches out, fingers clawing into her skin. Weak, weak, weak, she screams at herself. The power is there, in her grasp but she has ignored it in favor of their code. Now though, now she reaches out and takes it for herself. She will never be weak again.
No more, her father says. No more, just like that. Like it wasn't his fault for dragging her into this world kicking and screaming. You can't just forget this kind of stuff. No more, he says and she nods like she agrees.
She giggles when her dad hands her a special present. She opens it slowly wanting this moment to last, her daddy raises his eyebrows and motions for her to keep opening it.
She rips off the last of the paper and studies the arrow. She looks at her daddy, confused.
"I'm going to teach you how to use a bow." He states, and she smiles and throws her arms around his neck. Her mother looks on in approval. She gets the feeling that it wasn't really her dad's idea to teach her how to use a bow. She's still super excited. Auntie Katie had come to town not that long ago and had shown her a bunch of weapons; she had taken one look at the bow and fallen in love.
"I can't wait! Auntie Kate looked so cool last time she came and you guys shot your arrows and," her dad stops her with a scolding look and she quiets down. She's done something wrong again.
"It's not a toy, a bow is a weapon. You can seriously hurt someone with it."
"Damn it Kate! There is a code for a reason!" She sits atop the stairs as her father yells at Kate. She didn't catch the first part but it doesn't matter, it wouldn't really help.
"You precious code isn't always right! It doesn't always protect the people who need it. Fuck the code; they were going to hurt someone. They were monsters. I was protecting the people of this town for Christ sake!" They're equally loud and she's so confused. What code are they talking about? Who were monsters?
"No, Kate. You're the monster. There were kids in that house." That's all she hears before her mother picks her up and locks her in her room. Her mother leaves her wondering what house they were talking about.
What happened to those kids?
Stiles runs up to her, cheeks tinged pink, eyelashes fluttering as he puffs out his message.
"I wish we didn't have to do this, I want everyone to know how much I love you.' Pretty sure everyone knows exactly how much he loves you, Katniss. Kind of obvious." He grins at her and she snorts.
"I guess I understand the appeal though, he's like a puppy. A gentle puppy." She smiles and opens her locker.
"Yeah, it is pretty adorable. I just wish my parents thought it was adorable." She sighs and Stiles pats her back.
"I'm sure they'll get over it...someday."
She hangs up the phone and pushes her window open. Her father finally went to bed; he'll be out until at least noon tomorrow. He won't even notice she's gone.
Lydia smiles at her and they take her car to the preserve. They walk around and Lydia asks her what it's like to be strong, powerful. She says she doesn't know but she sees it every time she looks at Lydia. Lydia's smile could light the sun and it finally feels like she's done something right.
"Teach me how to shoot a bow." She demands and if Lydia is the Queen then she is her knight, and a knight should always do as her Queen asks.
"As you wish."
She's sitting in a nice car with a handsome stranger after her date kind of sort of ditched her at a party. The date went well though, the handsome stranger, Derek Hale, told her that Scott asked him to give her a ride home. He doesn't say much but he's nice enough, asks her some questions. How long have you been here? Do you like it? Normal stuff, tells him she didn't want to move but her father had said it was urgent. She swears she can see Derek's eyes flash blue but she shrugs it off, she did have a couple drinks.
She smiles at him and he looks less like he's going to murder her. She bids him a good night after thanking him for the ride. He warns her about the mountain lion and to stay safe. It's weird but before she goes to bed she locks her window because suddenly the only thing she can see is a mountain lion clawing her face off while she sleeps.
The next morning her dad worriedly checks on her, and Lydia tells her about the mountain lion attack that happened the night before. She can't help but wonder if Derek was psychic.
They're at the hospital and her father is holding her and she's crying because her mother is dead. She can't imagine a world without her mother. Even if she was cold at times she had taken care of her, had taught her how to be strong, supported her and she was her little girl. Her mother may not have preached the code but the night after she found out her mother had pulled her aside and told her that her father didn't truly understand what it was like, she told her that even if she followed the code there would be nights she sat awake, tormented by the things she'd done. In the end, her mother said, the code protects us from ourselves.
Look where that got her. Her mother's dead, her boyfriend's a werewolf and Lydia, something is wrong with Lydia. Everything is wrong and the code can't protect her from anything. She thinks of something she overheard Kate say when she was younger. Your precious code isn't always right.
For the first time since she found out what Kate had done she agrees with her. The code isn't always right and maybe that needs to be changed. Someday she's going to change the Argent family; she's going to change everything. (She's going to change herself).
Isaac paces in the living room and her father rolls his eyes. She can't help but agree with her father.
"Why don't you just tell him, everyone but him can see how much you like him. How much he likes you." Isaac halts his pacing and looks at her; she wants to smush his cheeks together.
"Really?" Her father sighs and puts down the paper. She hears the door open, lucky bastard.
"Yes, really. Now go, or I'll shoot you." That gets him moving and she hears him mutter before he goes, "hypocrite".
How the hell does that make her a hypocrite?
Grandpa tells her to take out Derek's betas and she smiles all pretty and says Yes, Grandpa because she's not matriarch of this household yet and it isn't her place to order him around.
Bow in hand, arrows notched, she feels powerful. It is the best feeling in the world and her anger makes her calm. She shoots them in the knees so they can't run, their loud cries echo.
"No one will hear you." She taunts as she emerges from the trees. Striding towards them she loads another arrow and shoots Boyd in the shoulder. Erica cries out for him, asks her why, why.
"Boohoo," she mocks, "suck it up." Then she shoots her in the shoulder, wouldn't want to be unfair now. Then she drags them to the car with the help of some goons her Grandpa has. They ask her where to go but she waves them away, she'll handle this.
Grandpa smiles, pleased as ever, and has her help chain them up in the basement. She smiles, play along darling, and tightens the manacles around Erica's wrists. She leaves when done and finishes her pre-calculus homework for the week. At dinner her grandpa is in the kitchen, her father is in his office, and she notices the blood on his knuckles.
"You might want to clean that before dad sees." Her voice is indifferent and she sees the approval in his eyes but she could care less. Whatever it takes to bring down Derek, whatever it takes.
Sometimes she doesn't even feel human. The code was supposed to protect her humanity, to save her from the monsters but she doesn't think those monsters exist. She thinks she made them up in her mind to make what she did okay. The things she's done, they will never be okay. Her father said that she would sleep just fine if she followed the code but her mother told her that the code wasn't everything.
She doesn't feel human; she feels more monster than anything.
She takes Scott's hands into her own and uses her thumbs to rub circles in them. Scott sighs like he knows what she's going to say.
"We both know what I'm going to say. I love you Scott but more as a friend and we both know how you look at Isaac."
"But Allison, I," She cuts him off with a shake of her head. "But nothing. Our romantic relationship is over." He smiles at her with that dopey look on his stupid face.
"You're so adorable. You two deserve each other." She smiles at him and he smiles back. It's the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
The darkness around her heart settles like bricks on her chest and sometimes she wakes up and wishes she hadn't. Scott confesses that he feels it as much as her.
"Talking about it helps, Isaac helps." He confesses one night. Her dad had been delighted when he found out they were no longer dating because that meant Isaac no longer paced the halls worrying if Scott felt the same, if Scott noticed him, Scott, Scott, Scott. Now she understands how Stiles must have felt when her and Scott were dating. Talking about Stiles...
"How is Stiles coping?" She asks, genuinely curious and by the guilty expression on Scott's face he hasn't seen Stiles much either. They change topics in an attempt to ease their guilty minds. (Some day soon they'll wish they hadn't).
"So, how's Lydia?" Scott wiggles his eyebrows and she's confused but answers any way.
Kate haunts her dreams for years. It seems like she'll never leave her alone.
She is afraid of this world because it makes no sense and suddenly she's supposed to be strong and powerful and she's not supposed to show weakness to the enemy. So many people have died this past year and of course she's worried for her friends, scared of what will come next, she's scared that Nemeton owns her but she is most scared of turning into something worse than any werewolf. She is scared of turning into Gerard.
She is capable of it too. It would make more sense if it were Kate, Kate who was a monster but was also under the control of her father, Gerard. The fire wasn't her idea, Derek was her idea (she remembers her father yelling at Kate, he screamed rape and murder and fire, and she remembers hiding from him for days). Gerard though, he was the monster that other monsters feared.
After her mother died and she was having her mental breakdown and subsequent spree of anger and justified homicide (that's what she tells herself) she remembers one thing clearly, the fear in Gerard's eyes. During Erica and Boyd's stay she had gone down to the basement once to try to extract the information she needed. She told Gerard to leave and he had left with an indulgent smile, of course dear, of course. She had rolled her eyes and put on her torture gloves (evidence would be unfortunate) and picked up her dagger and started the process. Gerard told her she couldn't go down again; he didn't want to have to clean the mess. She looked him dead in the eye and smiled, eerily calm.
"You are not the Argent leader, Grandfather. You have no right to order me around; they are not to be killed. If they die I shall have your head." She brushed past him, not bothering to wait around. Apparently she was the only person in this family who could get things done. They may not have told her about their alpha but they told her everything else she needed to know.
Lydia kisses her thigh, one hand on her hip the other creeping up her leg. She takes a shuddering breath as Lydia takes off her panties. Her breath is hot on her and she gasps when Lydia pushes in her finger, other hand pushing her legs farther apart. Curious, Lydia sucks on her clit and she moans loudly. She quiets herself, she's used to being quiet and the loudness throws her off and Lydia stops what she's doing making her whine.
"I want to hear you." There is no room to argue and she gives her a breathy yes, by god whatever you want just don't stop and Lydia smiles, she is a predator and she is the prey.
Lydia doesn't talk, choosing to make better use of her mouth and she sobs and cries and moans and when they're both done and Lydia is curled around her she allows herself to relax for the first time in a long time.
Beacon Hills isn't exactly a small town but it's also not Seattle. She's used to large crowds and blending in. Here she is the center of attention, male and female alike. She's never had many friends, her last friend was when she was twelve, but here she is popular and has a boyfriend, well she hopes he is her boyfriend.
Lydia Martin smiles at her, hair curling around her finger and lips red with a smile that has far too much teeth. She makes Allison feel like…she doesn't know, unfamiliar with this feeling in her gut that makes her want to, well, makes her want to bow down to her. Maybe not bow down exactly but more like, roll over, to submit. Her thoughts make her turn a pretty pink and Lydia's smile stretches.
"We're going to be very close, Allison, I can tell." Lydia confuses her, makes her happy and calm in a way she didn't know she needed but she's also extremely intelligent and says things that make her want to know more and less at the same time. She accepts it, and lets Lydia makes her plans.
Her father preaches the code but he doesn't always follow it. She can't help but wait for the day she turns eighteen because the Argents are falling apart and she will fix it. That's what makes her different from Gerard or Kate, she isn't trying to get rid of the code or trying to use it against others, she's trying to enforce it. If she doesn't change her world, the hunters' world, then another Kate or Gerard or even Allison will happen and it will be on her.
Werewolves aren't all monsters and thinking that makes them monsters. She's sick of having to fix things or apologize time and time again for what her family has done, instead of just saying words she needs to take action to show that she won't be that thing again because Gerard's Allison was not human, she was something other. Her father once told her that he never wanted her to understand what it was like on the other side of that line but because of what her family has done, what she has done, she does. She can't change what she knows and she most certainly cannot forget like her father thinks he can so she will do the only thing she can, she will change.
One day when her father isn't home and Lydia is busy she looks up the definition of monster.
An imaginary creature that is typically large, ugly, and frightening.
There are no such things as monsters. (Yes, there are).
Werewolves, she thinks numbly, as she watches her father trap Scott. Who is a werewolf, her boyfriend is a werewolf. Werewolves exist and apparently their eyes glow gold. Also, her family hunts werewolves, who exist. I guess this solves the mystery of why her parents don't like Scott. Werewolves. For a moment, she is terrified. Of her family, of her boyfriend, of her friends... all the lies she lived with, of this darker world. She wishes she could have never found out about werewolves, even if that meant not ever knowing Scott. Later, she feels guilty wishing for such a thing.
She spots Derek lingering around the school after the whole Kanima thing, she wants to confront him (so does Scott, she can tell from the way his eyes glare holes into Derek's face) but she stops herself when she notices who Derek is waiting for. Stiles smile could power a billion light bulbs and she's been so caught up in herself that she hadn't realized how long it had been since she actually saw Stiles smile. Derek doesn't smile exactly but she can tell he's happy, and by the way Stiles is smiling he can tell too.
Maybe she needed to branch out more, get to know the people close to her after everything that's happened. She had spent so much time caught up in Scott and her anger (grief, loss painpainpain) that she pushed out everyone else. She even hurt Lydia by keeping secrets from her. She tells herself that she'll make it up to Lydia. She'll be better than Jackson was to her, keeping secrets and putting her down. Except she's just friends with Lydia, they're not dating (she wishes differently for a second, how weird). Her and Lydia are just friends.
Isaac hovers on the edge of the parking lot, watching them and Scott is with him. Isaac must have picked Scott. Derek's loneliness will be punishment enough. Lydia honks her horn impatiently. She rolls her eyes fondly before making her way to the car.