Things I'll Never Say, a smallville fanfic

Title: Things I'll Never Say

Author: NickyJean

Summary: Clark loves Lana, Chloe loves Clark, and Lex loves Chloe

Disclaimer: I don't own anything but if I did I'd be a power to be reckoned with. I also don't own the song, "Things I'll Never Say" by

Distribution: Sure if you really believe that it's worthy of your attention.

A/N: This is dedicated to Corinne. She totally inspired the thing…Well, that and the song. T

CHLOE'S POV:

I'm tuggin' out my hair
I'm pulling at my clothes
I'm trying to keep my cool
I know it shows
I'm staring at my feet
My checks are turning red
I'm searching for the words inside my head

There he is just watching Lana, once again. I would do anything to be her for just one day. To have Clark look at me that way. That's not true. I want him to look at me like that for me. It's not fair. I look pretty. OK not ground breakingly beautiful like the lustrous Ms. Lang, but hey, not chopped liver.

(Cause) I'm feeling nervous
Trying to be so perfect
Cause I know you're worth it
You're worth it
Yeah

The main question. Why can't I tell him how I feel? Why can the words never leave my mind? What stops my dreams for voicing themselves? What stops me from being able to express the purest of emotions? Fear. Of disappointment, of pain, of loss. The knowing. That to him, the one man that means everything to me, I mean nothing to him, and it hurt more then anything in the world. It burns, it scolds, and I can't stop it. I don't want to stop it.

If I could say what I want to say
I'd say I wanna blow you, away
Be with you every night
Am I squeezin' you too tight
If I could say what I want to see
I want to see you go down
On one knee
"Marry me today"
Yes, I'm wishing my life away
These things I'll never say

He's just so perfect. He's sweet, honest (mostly) beautiful. Yeah, I know guys aren't meant to be beautiful but by God, he can do it. He's just so…. leave it to a journalist not to be able to describe the simplest thing, Why a girl would like a boy?

LEX POV:

It don't do me any good
It's just a waste of time
What use is it to you
What's on my mind
If it ain't coming out
We're not going anywhere
So why can't I just tell you that I care

There she is just watching Clark. I knew she would be. It's why I came. I've never really been envious of a man because of the love a woman felt for him. But now I find I am. I'm wishing I were him for a moment in time. But that's not entirely true. I'm really wishing she would look at me with those same eyes. Those eyes that sparkle with love, trust, desire. All my virtues would never appeal to someone like Chloe. Money, power, strength of will, confidence, intelligent. Well, maybe intelligence, but the rest they all mean nothing to a (dare I say) girl like her. No, she's on a different plane of reality then most. She knows what's important. What true virtues are. Virtues by just being who I am, could never live up to. But hey for the right person maybe that would change.

(Cause) I'm feeling nervous
Trying to be so perfect
Cause I know you're worth it
You're worth it
Yeah

The main question. Why can't I tell her how I feel? Why can't I express the depths of my emotions? Am I too proud to humble myself to her? Am I too insecure for such a feat of sheer honesty. Do I really fear not being able to sweep this woman of her feet Luthor style? Or is the knowing that to her, the one woman that means everything to me, I mean nothing to her, and it hurt more then anything in the world. It burns, it scolds, and I can't stop it. I don't want to stop it.

She's just so perfect. She's the most honest person I know, won't hide the truth, integrity that puts a saint to shame, and the sweetest smile that both the sun and the moon pale in comparison.

What's wrong with my tongue
These words keep slipping away
I stutter, I stumble
Like I've got nothing to say

(Cause) I'm feeling nervous
Trying to be so perfect
Cause I know you're worth it
You're worth it
Yeah

She's just so…. leave it to a millionaire playboy to become at a loss of words over something so sweet and simple. But in my defense it is the same question that has plagued mankind since the beginning of time. Why a man would love a woman?

Yes I'm wishing my life away
These things I'll never say
If I could say what I want to say
I'd say I wanna blow you away
Be with you every night
Am I squeezing you too tight
If I could say what I want to see
I want to see you go down
On one knee
"Marry me today"
Yes, I'm wishing my life away
But these things I'll never say
These things I'll never say

FIN