A/N: Mysteriously awoke to Christmas music twice this week. Thus, this was born. Time frame is this coming Christmas. Relationship status, we're dating but we are dysfunctional so we don't actual call it that.
It was a sweet time; and they'd never been happier. Hetty had given them plenty of time off, no cases plagued the atmosphere of their lives. Paperwork, and they were out for the year and holiday season.
They spent the day together, casually dressed, she wore appropriate red flannel and he a long sleeve green tee. It was cool for Angeles, mid 50's. They drank cocoa and lounged by her fire place. He'd brought Monty over. As they decorated the tree with popcorn and cranberry chains, Monty tried to have a snack. They ended up chasing him down, tripping over one another and landing in a heap on the floor. They giggled and remained tangled there together.
This was natural.
This had been natural.
By the time they'd finished decorating, it was dark. Her house was lit only by her fireplace and the lights on their tree.
They took showers separately, and she slipped on his sweatpants and one of his tees she'd stolen. He wore sweats as well, and they cuddled on the couch watching holiday movies. Her wet hair dampened his shoulder, and Monty lay on their feet. A blanket draped over the pair, holding their body heat. Her eyes started to droop shut, and she'd then snap awake. This was enjoyable, she wanted to feel this. She didn't want to sleep through it.
"Kensalina," he cooed, "you're falling asleep again babe."
"No I'm not," she protested in a groggy voice. She was clearly fighting sleep. She switched positions slightly, still laying with him on the couch, just in a slightly different orientation.
"Yeah, okay, you're about to fall asleep," he said. "Why don't we just go to bed?"
"Because this is bliss," she said. He laughed, knowing she wasn't awake enough to realize her admission.
"Sure it is, but we can continue this in the morning," he said with a yawn.
"Mmmmm kay," she said, eyes falling closed again.
He scooted Monty out of the way, and he whimpered. He pulled back the cover and scooped Kensi up of the couch and into his arms and carried her into her bedroom. He lay her down and covered her right up, and she immediately reached for him as if he were next to him in her bed.
But he wasn't there. He was in the main room, collecting Monty's toys and finding his shoes.
"Deeks?" she sat up straight and called out. "Deeks?" she called again.
She got out of bed, and found him with his jacket on and hand on the door.
"Where are you going?" she asked.
Immediately her mind rushed to him walking away- leaving her. And she felt crushed.
"Home…" he whispered.
"Yeah, I gathered that… why?" she asked tentatively.
"Um, so you can sleep," he replied.
"We've shared a bed before, Deeks," she remarked.
"But its Christmas," he said.
"And?" she asked again. She had no clue what he was talking about. She'd enjoyed today so much, and now she was just so lost.
"Jack left you on Christmas," he said innocently. "I didn't want to bring back any old memories. Of some guy, in your bed. On Christmas."
She stood dumbfounded, standing there with her mouth wide open.
On one hand, she wanted to run over and hug him because of how considerate he was trying to be. He was trying to respect her 'Jack' boundaries. Those boundaries had been broken down quite a bit since Afghanistan; she'd found a bit of closure in it all.
But at the same time she wanted to punch him again; because if he left her, he'd be doing the same thing Jack had done. And she didn't think he'd do that to her. She knew him better.
"Deeks, when I was in that cave, I talked to Jack. And I'll never be okay with what he did to me," she said, "but what he did to me doesn't affect you."
Deeks lowered his hand from the door. Monty had finagled his way to Kensi's feet and was sitting at them. She could see the hesitation in his eyes; he didn't want to push her.
"Please stay with me Marty. I mean it. I want you here," She said.
The way she used his first name made him shiver and reconsider, she was begging him to stay. He couldn't leave, he didn't want to leave after all. If he had left, he would have just come back first thing in the morning.
He nodded and she smiled, and wants his jacket and shoes were away she led him by his wrist to her room, and he felt his heart melt inside of him. It was too romantic for them- but he liked it.
Once they were comfortably snuggled into her bed, his arms held her close to him. She smiled. "We're gonna make our own Christmas memories. We'll forget all the old ones with new, happy ones."
She knew he'd understand that, his rough childhood and then her incident with Jack. It was time they were happy. She was certain of that.
"They're gonna be the best Kens. The very best." He said, pressing a kiss in behind her ear.
As he slipped away into sleep, she spoke one more time.
"You know what?"
"What?" he mumbled.
"If you would have left me tonight, it would have hurt me 10 times worse than when Jack left me." She whispered.
He hugged her tighter, and replied, "Good thing I'm not going anywhere then."