Taking Control
I have a reputation for being in control. I'm always in charge, always together, always defined by my work and what is needed to be done. I'm not without emotions, everyone can see that, but I'm not ruled by them.
Unless it comes to you. God, you annoyed me you arrogant prick. It was jealousy at first. When you came on you were crazy, detached, and effective. I did not want you living with me. As I stated before, you were crazy.
You were just as effective as I was, but you were like a force of nature or maybe death herself when she got going. I couldn't wrap my mind around someone who represented such a total lack of control. It wasn't that you were oblivious either. If death had a vendetta, you'd have personified that.
I know you knew I was looking at you. You never missed anything about things that didn't involve you directly. Eyes that are just red turned out to be the same as eyes that are just blue. You didn't need to put effort into yourself to be attractive.
The first time you kissed me I remembered it. I just said that I didn't because I wanted an out. I didn't want to say I'd let my emotions and desires get the better of me. The people that I'd been with hadn't known me the way you do. I'm always in control, or so they think. Every once and a while, I need to have that shaken away. I need that. Even if in this fucked up sort of culture I've found myself a part of I'm "submissive".
The submissive makes the rules. And maybe if I felt like seeing a psychologist they'd pick apart my control issues. That really isn't the reason behind you and I. There's a power in knowing that I get what I want from where I want it. You know me.
Do you even understand, Vincent, how fucking near impossible it is to really know anyone anymore? I've had two people in my life truly, honestly know me. One of them is dead and so help me, if you die on me again, I'll come to the promised land for you.
Because you not only made me remember who I really was, but I think I actually could start to like that person now that he's got his head out of his ass.
-V.M.D
For TP, because she wanted some first person.