Supernatural is not mine,which is sad. I write this purely for the love not money.
THE LONG WALK HOME
Dean stood back from the scene before him. He couldn't believe that they had really pulled it off. Who wouldve thought you could trick the devil back in to his cage. He could sense the mood around him,the relief and happiness,at it all being over. He couldn't bring himself to join in,cause somewhere he knew that it would never be truly over till Michael and Lucifer had it out. They hadnt stopped the apocolypse. They had only derailed it. Zachariahs words still rang in his ears. "We'll just bring you back,when he gets released again. I'll make sure of it." That thought alone kept him from celebrating. He was just so tired,and he knew it wasn't the end for him. He also knew next time Zachariah asked he would say yes.
The only thing he would allow himself to be relived about was that his brother was safe. He could now have that normal life he was always gushing about. He didn't have to worry about him any more. His brother had proven he could hold his own. Hell he had been able to say no to lucifer,if he can do that there is no way he would ever go darkside. His job of protecting and saving sam was over. He was partly relieved, years of built up stress and worry,but he was also lost. He had spent most of his life with this sole purpose,and he was at a loss of what to do next. He was just so tired and exhausted,and he just wanted to rest. He's just so tired of caring the burden around.
He feels himself twinge at the word,cause he remembers Sam insistence that he share his burdens. The fight had been the biggest they had ever had,but they both had bared their souls to each other,and sharing his burdens had been one of Sam's biggest points. He had to a point,shared the burden. The whole apocolypse burden,and the always having to save you burden,but now his only burden was his own sainity. The thought of trying to explain that one,kept him from telling sam. The last thing he wanted was another share and care moment. He knew he deserved to know,but at all he really wanted was to get lost and forget it all even happened.
He can feel his brothers eyes on him ,and he knows he is making his way over. The look in his brothers eyes says it all. Concern,worry, God his brother really is psychic. He cant even think about how bad he feels without him,automatically sensing it. He's glad he has an excuse to give him. The head wound,and bruised ribs would be enough to make him look exhausted,so passing it off as the reason for his down mood would be pretty easy. Sure enough Sam went straight to mother hen mode,and made sure he was pumped full of meds and put to bed after being checked throughly. He was happy he brother cared,but he just couldn't find it in himself to open up to him. Truth be told he didn't really know how. He had spent his whole entire life holding things in,so he wasn't going to be able to change overnight. He hoped his brother wouldn't be too mad when he found out,cause he was positive he would. Lately he couldn't seem to keep much of anything off the Sammy radar.
Later that night, he quietly crept outside into the night. He knew Sam would be royaly pissed,but he didn't want to deal,or discuss,or share. He wanted to just walk,and keep on walking until he could find himself again. The him before hell, before he became so tired,and weak. He glanced at his baby,and told her to take care of sam,and then he just walked away. Walked with no real thought or plan. No direction,or role to play. He just walked, and when he couldn't walk anymore he drank.