So I took a while to start this. Here is your first chapter for the sequel to Stark's Frey Girl (2980 words). I know it's not much but I wanted to write something.
PLEASE tell me if you don't like it, I am willing to change that for you guys. I just wanted to thank everyone that has read the first story and has stuck with me for the second and wanted to let you all know that I am grateful and love you all.
Please Review! I need to know what you think and if you want me to continue xxx Lots of love Comet96 xxx
When something is missing you always have that achy feeling inside you, telling you that something isn't right. It doesn't matter what it is that is missing, you know that it isn't there. Nothing can make the feeling go away, not those around you that love you, the ones you love back, not even the reassuring looks telling you that it will be found. Nothing can take your mind off of the lost thing until you find it.
I have found after recent events that the lost thing can be a person as well. Never in my dreams did I think that when I became a mother I would have to go through the pain and suffering of losing a child. A child whose life had barely begun, a child who had wrapped his way into everyone's lives and effected everyone. A child that had broken everyone's hearts now because he was lost to us all.
My son was the one thing in life I was proud to call my own. He was made from love and he was surrounded in love. He stole the love from everyone around him and when he was gone he ripped that love from everyone that had willed to give it to him.
My love for him was so large and strong that I did not understand the full extent of it until he was gone. My love for him was stronger than the love I had for my husband - and I knew that my love for him was strong. I could not stand to look at Robb the way I used to. I knew it hurt him for me to turn my eyes from him every time he tried to comfort me but I could not handle to look at him. The resemblance between Robb and Eddard was to painful for me, I could not help but look at my husband and see my son.
I hated that I made Robb feel that way but the connection between the two of them was as strong as the love I had for them both. It was not only him that I turned away from when I was comforted. Rickon and Bran made the pain in my heart-throb every time they entered the chambers and sit with me. The two youngest Stark's had the same resemblance that Eddard had. They shared his eyes and I could see him in them. I knew that when my son was older he would be like Rickon and Bran and it was that reason that had me turning away from them when they tried to get me to respond to them.
It was in the chambers now that I truly felt the most pain and wished that everyone in here would just leave me to my own devices. I wanted to be alone to cry and fall into the pain that wanted to swallow me up.
There was too many people in the chamber, there to comfort and I knew they were there to distract. I knew Robb was only trying to do it to comfort me, bringing the family in so that I would not be alone in this pain but I just wanted to be alone. I wanted to be able to hold me son, but that was not an option I could have anymore. I could remember what it was like to hold him in my arms, and have him smile up at me and look for his father when he heard Robb's voice. It was such a beautiful sight and I would never get to see it again.
"Evie," a voice I would recognise anywhere interrupted my thoughts and my gaze dropped to Tyrion as he stood looming over me in the chair I was perched in. It felt weird to think of Tyrion looming over me but that was what he was doing as I curled up into the low chair placed in front of the fire. I knew from the look on his face that he was here to attempt what everyone else had failed at today. I knew that he would succeed. If anyone would get me to talk it would be Tyrion, he was the brother I never had and he told me before that I was the sister he wished he had. "You know this won't help. You see your husband over there." he told me pointing over to Robb who was standing next to the desk in our chamber, surrounded by Jon, Jamie, my grandfather, Gendry and a few other men. "He's trying to find Eddard. He misses him just as much as you do but he isn't sitting around ignoring everyone that's trying to help. You can't ignore them Evie, you have to let them in." His words made sense and I knew that I was acting like a child by ignoring everyone but I just couldn't feel like trying. I wanted to be a good mother but I had already failed, failed and my son was hardly over three months old. "Come, we'll go down to the kitchens and eat something. Rickon's hungry and you need to eat."
I nodded my head at Tyrion and like an well-trained dog I stood and followed him to the door. As we passed Robb he captured my hand in his and pulled my close to his chest. As soon as my head hit the soft, warmth I knew to be Robb I couldn't help but let the tears fall. He was in as much pain as me and I had forgotten him because I was too wound up inside my mind.
"I will find him Evie, I promise you that." It wasn't because of the tone he used that I believed him. It was because I knew Robb would never give up on our son. He would stop at nothing until he found him, he would travel around Westeros and even to the Free Cities if it meant finding Eddard. I knew that Robb would give it everything he had and I would do the same thing. I would stop at nothing until I had my son in my arms again. And when I found who took him from me I would not go easy on him. I would do anything to find my son even if it meant killing those that stood n my way. I just hoped Robb would be there beside me until we had our son safely in Winterfell again.
When we returned from the kitchen, Rickon satisfied with the food he had and Tyrion happy with the amount I had eaten, we returned to my chambers to find Robb alone staring out of the window beside Eddard's bassinet. Tyrion gave my hand a squeeze before pushing Rickon down the hallway leaving me alone with my husband.
I entered slowly, I don't know why, Robb knew I was there. I just felt like I couldn't go fast without Eddard here. Between Robb and I, the silence was uncomfortable. Our marriage had been short and from the beginning we always knew Eddard would be a part of us, now that he wasn't here, I was feeling like there was something missing for us.
"Robb," I muttered softly not wanting to interrupt whatever he was doing, but I needed him now, I needed his arms wrapped around me. I needed him to hold me and tell me that although it wasn't fine now, it would be once we found our son. He turned to me, his eyes red and shining and I could see the pain that he was letting out now that everyone had left our chambers. "Oh Robb," I whispered rushing over to his side and wrapping my arms around him as tight as I could. I knew he needed me close to him like I needed him close to me.
His arms wrapped around me tightly, his face sinking into my neck as he let go of everything and his tears slipped down his face and onto my neck. This was a side that Robb hide from the world, a side I only saw. He was not as strong as everyone thought. He was like any other man out there. He loved his son and too him he had failed at being a father, he had somehow failed me in his mind.
"I'm so sorry Evie, I should have never left him alone." he cried gripping onto me as if I was the only thing keeping him from drowning in his sorrow. He had no need to blame himself. If we were to blame someone it would be me. I was the one that left him alone in the chamber while I went off to talk with my sisters.
"Don't you dare blame yourself for this Robb! I left him alone Robb, not you, me. If we are to blame anyone please blame me." I snapped at him letting my anger at my failure slip into my tone a so pulled away from him and looked him in the eyes. The eyes that he shared with our son, a reminder that I had lost our son because I was so selfish.
"The blame shouldn't fall on you Evie, I agreed that you should go with your sisters. We have left Eddard in here many times with the guards outside. We have done nothing but protect him from everything. I have enemies out there that want revenge and they know that Eddard is one way I will give in. they are using him against us Evie and we probably couldn't have stopped that. We have to pull together now and stop blaming ourselves for this and work to get him back. I know he's still out there waiting for his mother and we will find him." Robb stated cupping my face in his hands before dropping a sweet kiss on my lips.
I gave him a teary smile as I pulled him back into a hug and closed my eyes thinking about what is to come in our future. I had a feeling that we would get Eddard back but I could never tell how long it would be.
Our silence was interrupted by the slamming of the door opening and hitting the wall. I pulled away from Robb to see Jon and Sam looking worried and panicked. Robb tensed at their looks before stepping slightly in front of me, waiting for either of them to speak.
"Maester Steel's dead." Jon stated using a sharp and intense tone before looking to Sam for an explanation.
"A fever has broken out in the village and Maester Steel was handling it. He came down with the signs last night, but told me he was fine. I just went to fetch him and found him dead in his study." Sam explained shifting from foot to foot as he talked under our gaze. Robb sighed deeply next to me and I knew that with everything going on he would not handle any thing else under the pressure.
"Sam would you be willing to step in as Maester until we came find another." I asked him giving him a soft smile hoping that he would do so. He had spent most of his time in the study with Maester Steel, he would know best what to do to contain the fever.
"I would be happy to help. I was asked to help around the castle to prevent it from spreading before Maester Steel passed." Sam muttered his smile one of true happiness during this time. I joined them by the door and gave Sam's hand a soft squeeze before turning my eyes onto Jon and giving him a forced smile that he returned. I knew that he also felt responsible for Eddard's capture.
"How are you Jon?" I asked him knowing that he would not mention that he felt like he could have protected his family better but he needed to know that none of us were to be blamed as Robb had said before. The Stark's name was being frowned upon by many enemies and they would attack somewhere it would hurt to get revenge. From the way Jon's eyes studied my face I knew he was getting what I was thinking and returned my forced smile with a soft smile that was somewhat real.
"Sam we need to be ready for the winter. It will be here soon and I can't protect everyone in the village from a fever if my men are getting ill from running back and forth to deliver food." Robb started running his hands over his face before darting his eyes towards the map of the castle before looking over to Jon. "Do you remember when Father allowed them into the castle that one year winter was bad. He let them down into the dungeons. The heat down there would protect them from the cold and it's close to the kitchens so the cooks won't have far to travel." He darted his eyes back to Sam and rushed over to the table, grabbed a quill and dipped it into the ink before scribble down something on the parchment. "Take this to my mother and get her to start ordering the men to take the beds down to the open dungeons and then start filling it with the villagers. Make sure the mother's and children go in first followed by the elders and then everyone else." he ordered Sam handing him the parchment before sending him off to his mother. Jon left with Sam muttering something about helping leaving me alone with Robb.
I turned to stare at my husband a sad smile upon my face as I took him in and watched as he turned to me with his forehead furrowed and eyes clouded with confusion. He tilted his head to the side as I took him in and gave me a questioning look as he turned away from the now closed door.
"I would not guess the pain you are filled with from the way you took charge and became the king I know you are." I muttered to him sighing deeply and felt a twinge of jealously that he was handle this better than I was. If I could be half the queen as he was king than I would be proud that I was helping my people while still trying to find my son.
"I have to stay focused on something or I would lose my mind. After all that is what they want - the people who took Eddard. They want us in full panic and to forget about our people." he mumbled taking my hand in his and leading me to the bed. He kissed my forehead and ran his hand over my cheek before pulling the furs back on our bed and pushing me gentle down on the soft bed. "Get some rest, tomorrow is going to be busy and I want you fully rested before you even think about leaving this chamber."
I smiled softly at him before turning my back on him and pulling back his side of the furs. A sign for him to join me and forget just for a moment all the chaos going on around us. Robb followed my orders, stripping off his shirt and kicking off his shoes before falling against the bed and turning to face me as I dropped the furs over him.
"I trust that you will be able to handle everything Robb but you can't forget that you are also just one man who needs to rest. You have everyone here for your and you can't do everything by yourself." I told him running my fingers over his lips. "Tyrion mentioned that you have men out looking for Eddard. He said you wanted to go but your mother wouldn't let you, she didn't want you leaving me." I added after a few moments of silence as I watched his eyes flutter ready for sleep.
"I couldn't stand to leave you thinking I had left like Eddard. I need to protect you and find him." he mumbled pulling me into his chest as he closed his eyes again ready to drift of now. This was his sign to tell me to stop talking and sleep now. In his mind the faster we fell into our dreams the quicker morning would come and he would be able to search for Eddard in the light.
I knew it seemed selfish for us to be sleeping and acting as if Eddard was not gone but as Tyrion told me in the kitchens we would be no help until the morning when we could start our search with clear heads. We needed to have a rest before we went out and did something stupid. Tyrion said that there was nothing we could do until we planned. There would be no point in us going out search because we would be running around like a headless chicken. He also mentioned that Jamie had left for the search tonight alone with my grandfather and would be returning after breakfast in the morning ready for the swap.
Robb had ordered everything for Eddard's search while I had been stuck thinking about nothing helpful. He was the stronger one out of the two of us at the moment and I knew that I would have to start acting strong like him if I wanted to get Eddard back sooner. I would become the Stark I was meant to be and not the pointless Frey I was born.
Thank you for reading xxx