Fat Amy POV

"I solemnly swear never to have sexual relations with a treble maker, or may my vocal cords be ripped out by wolves."

I kept repeating the oath in my head. I need to stay away from those jerks, but then again it's not like Aubrey would kick me out. I am the most talented one on the team. I see two of them talking and decide it would be a good time to scope out the competition. They were talking about having sex with Captain America, and I instantly knew this was a bad idea. I recognize one of them as Bumper and he shoes the other one away and turns to me.

"You may be the grossest person I have ever seen," he says to me.

"Well you're no pantie dropper yourself," I shoot back. He looks at me for a second.

"I have a feeling we should kiss, is this a good feeling or...?" He asks me.

"Well I sometimes have a feeling I can do crystal meth, but then I think ehhh better not." He continues to look at me in an amused manor, that makes him sort of look like an elf. "What's your name?" I ask him so he'll get that stupid look off of his face.

"Bumper," he pauses, "I know. It implies that I'm good at sex." He states confidentially. A little too confidently. "What's yours?"

"Fat Amy, but I don't need a name to make it seem like I'm good in bed."

"Well are you?" I think he's trying to be seductive now? Is this what pedophiles look like to little kids?

"Of course I am." I am great at everything I do.

"Prove it," he taunts me. I take a moment to think. I haven't had any action since the beginning of summer and he's not ugly, but I don't wanna fight Aubrey about it.

"Your place?" He looks surprised when I say this.

"Yeah sure, let's go."

"We can't leave together. Meet me at the SoHo dorms in 10 minutes," I tell him. He looks confused but mumbles a confirmation and starts to leave. I decided to go talk to Aubrey for a few minutes so she won't suspect anything.

Bumper POV

I wasn't really paying attention to most of the conversation, but I do know that I'm supposed to be in front of the SoHo dorms. I didn't actually know where these were at first. I definitely was not part of honors in sophomore year., but I did once screw a girl in here. Fat Amy finally arrives a few minutes later and we start to walk to my apartment.

"So why couldn't we leave together?" I ask her.

"Aubrey would kick me out of the Bellas, or rip my vocal cords out with wolves for being troubleboned," she says so nonchalantly. Does Aubrey really hate us that much? Damn. "So if anyone knows about this I will bite your balls off."

"Your secret is safe with me." the rest of the walk is spent in silence. Until we get to my apartment and the rest of the night ends in many moans.

When I woke up, Amy wasn't there. I don't know what it was, but that was the best sex of my life. I roll over and feel a piece of paper. it reads, "Had fun. Call me. (346) ***-****" I enter her number into my phone, but i'm not really sure if I'll actually call her. I'm not really into the whole round two thing and i don't want her to get kicked out of the Bella's because then I'm just the dick. Although, that was the best sex I've had since I've been here.

AN: Do other writers hate their own work? Or is it just me? Anyway, I hope this is better and more realistic (kind of ?) than my other one. I still suck at titles, but at least this is a little better I hope. As I get more of an idea of where I want to go with this, then the chapters will get longer.