"I understand now."
Sharon blinked a few times. She'd just woken up. Her brain was in pre-coffee mode, but she was pretty sure she had no idea what Rusty was referring to. But he understood something. That should was good. Right?
"What do you understand, Rusty?"
"Why he hit me."
Sharon sighed. She hoped he wouldn't try to take it on himself. "Let's have some coffee and talk."
Rusty nodded. He sat at the table. His eyes had circles around them. Between that and the stubborn black eye, he looked terrible. She considered keeping him home. He clearly needed sleep.
She went to fix their coffees. Two spoonfuls of sugar in his, one in hers; half and half in both. They'd had coffee together many mornings. It wasn't usually like this, though.
She sat down, after handing him his coffee. "Why do you think he hit you?"
"Because I fucked men for money." He sighed. "I'm sorry Sharon. I know you don't like that word."
She sighed. "No, I don't. But sometimes the right word is the right word."
He nodded. "But it's not the sex. I mean, if I had been doing women I'd get a high-five instead of a punch."
She nodded. "I'm afraid I got the same vibe when he explained 'his side.' I'll let you hear what he said if you want."
"I do."
She reached across the table to pat his hand. "Remember, you can't unhear it."
"I know." He paused. "I need to know."
She pulled out her iphone. Found the recording she wanted and pushed play. They listened to Daniel Dunn blame Rusty's plight on some lacking in Rusty's character. It was bad enough hearing it the first time, but hearing the recording with Rusty was much worse.
It had taken every bit of self control not to throw him out of her office. She wanted to know what Daniel would have done if he'd found himself completely alone in LA at 16. Sharon thought about it sometimes. What she would have done in Rusty's shoes. Most of the possibilities ended with her body in a dumpster. The others weren't much better.
She didn't know all the details. Rusty told her enough, though. He was lucky to be alive. His encounters with Stroh, notwithstanding.
He was resourceful and smart. He'd stayed alive and found a way to keep himself alive. There was no character flaw in that.
"Turn it off, Sharon. I don't want to hear anymore."
She did. Then she got out of her chair, placing her arms on his shoulders. "He's wrong."
Rusty looked up at her and smiled. "He's pretty stupid too."
She returned the smile. "That too."
"And I'm not...I mean, what happened on the street...that's not."
"Rusty, I understand."
He nodded. "The first time...I was...it wasn't what I wanted."
She nodded. It was what she'd suspected for months. It was just one more wrong in a string she couldn't undo. She held his shoulders tighter, surprised when he put his hand over one of hers.
"Then he paid me like a whore. I didn't know what to do, but I was hungry." He paused. "It wasn't so bad after that."
He told her his story. He still didn't want to see a councilor, but maybe, just maybe, she was enough. She kept holding him. She didn't have any words to make it better, and anything she could say would be as ineffective as a band-aid. So she stood there, and he kept his hand on hers.