Slow dying flower.
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Chapter One
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The Snow Goose.
1999
-Daryl
The thick fleshy arm crushed his windpipe. 'You do as I say.'
Daryl nodded as best he could.
'You're gonna make her get rid of it.' Merle demanded. "you're 18 years old and your genes ain't worth passing on.'
Daryl squeezed his eyes tight shut and nodded again. Merle loosened his hold, and flung his little bother across the room, 'Down in town they'll suck that little piece of shit out of her in no time.'
Daryl lay on the floor until he heard Merle go out, he twisted over on his back and stared at the ceiling; his eyes leaked but he didn't wipe them, he sniffed a couple of times. Merle was right. Merle was just looking out for him. What kind of world was this for a kid anyway? It was fine for them up in the mountains but what kid wanted to live in a wilderness? No kid. These days they wanted Nintendo and those new fangled cell phones and pcs or whatever the damn things were called. Not a life spent tracking and hunting and bathing in a tin tub. It suited Daryl ok, he liked being out in the wild,it was part of him, like his heart and his liver and his lungs; the world was too fast and greedy.
.
Her name was Mary. It seemed like nearly every girl in Bentnail Creek was named Mary, but it was usually Mary-Sue or Mary-Jane or Mary-Beth. When he asked her name she said 'Just Mary ' so that's what he called her.
They had sex regularly for over a year -or irregularly really- as and when. There was this crazy attraction that cranked out of control when they saw each other. Daryl would go into town for supplies, Mary would appear out of nowhere and they'd find a quiet spot, down by the creek, or in someone's storeroom, or behind the old papermill. Once she came at him like a bitch on heat in the men's room of the gas station. They both started out virgins, which was good, it gave them equality and they taught each other all kinds of stuff, except contraception that is. So the surprising thing was not that Mary fell pregnant, but that she didn't fall sooner.
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'You think it's up to you?' Mary stared at him; she had dark almond shaped eyes and now they were almost black with fury.
'I ain't ready for fatherhood.' he said, throwing his running away secret stash, a tatty bundle of ten dollar bills at her, 'You need to get rid soon as possible. Go to a clinic in Athens or somewhere...' he paused, and tried to gauge her feelings, something deep down inside him wanted her to fight for him, to say he would make a great daddy, that she could never want another man now she'd known him. That they could run away some place, start again, and be a family.
But she had just stood there staring at him like he was something icky on the sole of her shoe, 'It's not up to you.' she said, and walked away, leaving his money scattered around the dusty ground.
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Merle decided they'd go to the shack early that year. It was good hunting ground because not many folk went that high up the mountain. When they came back down the mountain a couple of weeks later there was a right old hoo-ha in the town. Mary's Pa was running riot with a shotgun looking for the sonofabitch that had knocked up his little girl. Daryl couldn't believe Mary hadn't blabbed it was him and wanted to face up to Mary's father but Merle persuaded him not to by beating him black and blue.
'Am I ever gonna knock any sense in you?' he asked, leaning over his skinny brother, 'See all the trouble you cause? Next time you get your dick out you need to pay for it, it's simpler that way, whores take care of 'emselves- no comeback see?' he kicked Daryl in the ribs again for good measure, and slammed out of the ramshackle house.
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A month or so later Daryl heard that Mary hadn't gone to a clinic in Athens or anywhere else, she'd gone to see old Louisa Bowers. Ma Bowers had helped the women of the town for generations, but she didn't exactly help Mary because something went wrong with the abortion and Mary nearly bled to death and ended up in the hospital. Added to that, the stress and worry of the situation caused Mary's father to have a stroke. Daryl felt bad for them but was persuaded by Merle to keep away. Even so, he didn't stop thinking about her and the chain of disastrous events that he'd set off. Mary's mom had to work double shifts at the grocery store now Mary's father could no longer work. Their lives had turned from ok to shit because of Daryl.
When Merle was off on one of his benders Daryl walked all the way into town and watched and waited to see Mary. When she got off the bus used by the college kids he felt relieved that she was going to her life hadn't been completely fucked up by him. He stepped into her path and took a deep breath.
'You okay?'
She stepped back and stared at him, checking all around to see they weren't being observed, 'You come anywhere near me again and I'll take out one of your eyes with my slingshot.' she said quietly.
He carried on blocking her way, 'Mary, I'm sorry.'
'Let me pass.' she said, pulling the slingshot from her pocket.
He moved aside and she walked on. He watched her going down the street. She didn't look back.
He bought a cold soda from the store before attempting the walk home. He could tell people were talking about him and wondered at the fact Mary's Pa hadn't picked up on town gossip. Or maybe they didn't know and were just talking about what filthy redneck trash he was- about his raggedy clothes, his self cut sticky up hair, his worn down boots, his beaten up face. Mary was right to distance herself from him, he was eighteen years old and his future was mapped right out before him. From where he was standing, it didn't look too bright.
Years Later-Just before Zombie Apocalypse
Mary.
The shop was in a side street, so Mary didn't expect it to be busy. She had contingency plans, selling stuff online, but it was good to have a base, and there was an apartment above, which meant she hadn't had to move back in with her mom, but was near enough to keep an eye on her. Mary's mom wasn't in the best of health, and her father had died a couple of years back from a cerebral embolism.
Her friends in Chicago thought she was crazy coming back to Bentnail, but Mary knew it was time, and when her mom had said Amity's Coffee Shop was up for lease, it seemed a good opportunity to make the move. She knew that deep down her smart city friends thought of her as a dumb hick, and when she'd had enough of the endless choruses of 'I'm gonna be country girl again' she gave them the finger and got on a plane.
The old Amity Coffee Shop was wooden and creaky and still smelled of coffee, even though it hadn't been in use for almost a year. Mary planned on serving coffee while her customers browsed, so she kept the retro fixtures and fittings and had an electrician in to bring them up to date. She had worked hard as the stock arrived; cushions, reed diffusers, dream catchers, punched tin lanterns, incense and burners, authentic quilts sent by the Amish. The sign above the former coffee shop now read 'Mary's Mercantile'
Everyone was small town curious, and wandered in, drank a cup of coffee, ate a cinnamon cookie and wandered out again. On opening day she took just over twenty dollars.
By the third day she was feeling apprehensive. It was past eleven and she hadn't seen a single customer. Luckily she had some online orders to pack and ship.
She was trying not to gaze desperately out of the window when she saw Daryl on the street. He appeared not to have noticed the shop and carried on by. She watched him as he walked with stealthy grace towards the main street.
'Been working out Daryl?' she whispered to herself, smiling. Life certainly hadn't treated him bad. Or maybe it had, she didn't know. But if life had been bad, he still looked good, better than good actually, she decided, craning her neck until he turned the corner.
She sat in her rocker, stretched out her long legs and sipped peppermint tea, thinking back through the years. At first she had blamed him for everything and it wasn't really fair, it took two to go at it like rabbits, she had been just as eager as him and sometimes even more so. She grinned and ran a hand through her hair as she remembered the only time they'd got anywhere near a real date. Daryl had stolen Merle's old pick-up and they'd gone for a ride. Singing along to some old song by the Beach Boys or Jan and Dean on the crackly radio and having a competition to see who could whoop the loudest to it, Daryl with a cold bottle of beer along with her hand between his thighs. When he parked the pick-up at the end of a dusty track she'd climbed right on top of him and they'd whooped some more but in a different and more breathless way. He'd gotten a beating from Merle when he took the pick-up home.
She wondered if in the intervening years Daryl had ever fought back. She guessed at some point he must have done. He wasn't a victim, he just wasn't a hardass like Merle. She recalled the day when she had threatened him with the slingshot, the time when she was hurting so bad and feeling so let down by him. But he had been little more than a kid, just like her, and he had tried to help financially. There had been something about the look on his face that day, something that speared the center of her heart, something that was begging for help.
She had finally admitted to herself a year or so back when her marriage collapsed that there was a reason she couldn't love. It had a lot to do with Daryl Dixon.
Daryl
Mary's shop hadn't gone unnoticed by Daryl. When he turned the corner into Main Street he stopped walking and dithered. He was curious, wanting to see what she looked like now. It had to be Mary. People didn't do damn fool stuff like setting up shops in Bentnail- the place was dying. Folks grew up and got out. She'd got out. Why was she back?He paced a bit. What the hell was he going to do if he went back and entered the shop? Buy an overpriced piece of shit that he had no use for? He decided to keep walking, put his head down and quickened his pace, only to walk straight into someone.
'Jesus!' cried the woman.
Daryl recoiled. 'Didn't see ya.'
She stood before him, 'You didn't see me? How could you miss me?' she waved her hands in front of her gigantic stomach, she was about eight months pregnant.
Daryl stared at her bump, 'Don't know.' he muttered, 'you okay?' he stumbled on past her without waiting for a reply.
'Jesus!' repeated the woman.
Merle had seen him collide with the woman and was pissing himself laughing. 'You going along to the baby shower Loretta?'
'Fuck you.' Daryl pouted. 'Let's get out of this dump.'
Mary
The bell on the door jangled and in walked Chrissy Jackson.
'Mary? Mary Travers?' she smiled. 'It really is you.'
'Hell Chrissy' Mary got up out of the rocker, 'You gained weight girl.'
Chrissy smoothed a hand over her belly proudly, 'Yeah, finally, this child's been a long time in the making.'
'I'm happy for you.' Mary said, attempting a hug and getting bounced off, 'Are you okay, you seem a bit breathless?'
'Just the heat of the day.' Chrissy drew the back of her hand over her brow, 'and getting slammed into by Daryl Dixon.'
'Daryl's the father?' Mary gasped, feeling her stomach lurch.
'You're kidding right?' Chrissy looked horrified, 'you think I'd let that s-o-b anywhere near me? This baby is Josh's.'
'Sorry- I just thought when you said he slammed into...' Mary felt her heart settle back down. She propelled Chrissy to the rocker.
'He just walked straight through me on Main Street, like I wasn't there- stoned probably, or coked up, or whatever he's taking these days. I don't know about the fashion in drugs.' Chrissy took out a tissue and began blotting her face.
'He's a user?' Mary asked.
'Hell, I don't know, his brother Merle, he's always trying something new according to Josh, I don't know 'bout Daryl- why are we talking 'bout the Dixon brothers anyhow?' Chrissy said, 'Look at this place, this darling little shop, look at you!'
Later, as Mary handed Chrissy some peppermint tea, Chrissy asked, 'Why did you come back here?'
'I don't know.' said Mary.'It just felt like it was time.'
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Daryl and Mary(Sunday)
He sat in the creek naked, his clothes floating around him. It was as good a place as any to cool down and get clean. The old shower in the shack was broken. Most of the stuff in the shack was broken. Daryl scowled before splashing water up around his face. The midday sun shone down on him relentlessly- the mercury still climbing. So, Mary, he thought. How was he going to figure a way to see her without her seeing him? He couldn't think of one. He hadn't had another woman since her. He'd forgotten what a woman felt like. Merle had come home with a couple of prostitutes one night a few years back and tried to make out that he was doing his baby brother a favour. Daryl had sidestepped the tired looking hooker and gone out to sleep in the woods. Merle beat on him the next day for the money wasted, he'd tried to use both of the women but hadn't been able to keep it up long enough. Daryl wondered if Merle had ever had a woman that wasn't a hooker.
The sun seemed to be concentrating on his head, boiling his brain. He dipped under the water and held his breath, when he finally came up for air, he thought he was seeing an apparition.
'Hi!' Mary called.
For a split second he wondered if he should pretend not to recognise her. It would make him look stupid though, she really hadn't changed much, she was a little more curvy, and her hair was slightly shorter, but she looked pretty damn good to Daryl.
'Hi' he replied, trying to sound offhand.
'What the water like?' she called.
'Wet' he said.
She reached down and removed her shoes. She was wearing a thin white cotton dress, 'Mind if I join you?' she shouted.
'I'm about done.' Daryl said hurriedly, grabbing at his floating clothes, his eyes widening as she walked into the creek with the dress on. Crazy woman, what was she thinking? He tried to back away and not let her see how much he was panicking.
When she reached him she smiled, 'Hey'
'Hey' he answered in his deepest voice.
'How's things?' she asked.
He tried not to look at the water lapping at the thin cotton on the bodice of her dress, 'Same ole...' he tailed off awkwardly.
'Yeah things don't change a whole lot around here do they?' she said softly, ''cept you look all grown up Daryl. Put on a bit of muscle,' she stared at his shoulders, the only part of him above the water, her expression darkened a bit, 'few more scars too.' She reached out to touch one of the scars and he moved away fast, dipping back down under the water, clutching his pants and shorts, heading to dry land. When he reached it he knew she was watching him. It was fucking difficult to put on wet clothes but somehow he managed in record time.
He knew he should just keep walking and not look round or wait for her. He pushed his fingers through his flattened hair out of habit, the sun was beating down on him again, sucking the moisture from his body.
'You forgot your shirt.'
She was behind him. As he turned she was wringing his shirt out, her soaking dress clinging to her body, revealing her outline. He grabbed the shirt without thanking her.
'If I didn't know better I'd say you were scared of me.' she joked.
'Last time we met you were all for taking my eye out with a slingshot.' Daryl reminded her, shaking out his shirt and tying it round his neck.
'Lot of water flowed under the bridge since then.' Mary replied.
He wanted to ask what she was doing there, down at the creek- hell- even what she was doing back in Georgia. But he didn't know how so he shrugged, grabbed at the long grass, put a stalk in his mouth and began walking. Mary fell in beside him.
'You married?' she asked. 'Seeing anyone?'
He jerked his head sideways a couple of times. 'You?'
'I was, now I ain't.' she replied, wincing at the rough ground on her bare feet, 'How can you walk so fast bare footed?'
'Don't really think about it.' he said, 'the only thing you have to worry about is not stepping in deer shit.'
He pointed to the ground and she avoided the lump of black bobbly pellets at the last second. 'Thanks for the advice.' she said, 'You still living with your brother?'
Yeah, when he's about.' Daryl said. 'He's away quite a bit.'
Mary nodded, she guessed that Merle's being away wasn't on business, more likely he was in the penitentiary.
'Remember when you stole his pick up?' she laughed.
Daryl grinned shyly, 'Fun fun fun til her daddy takes the t-bird away.'
'Fun fun fun til Merle takes the heap of shit pick up away .' sung Mary softly.
Daryl cleared his throat, 'Yeah, fuck he was mad.'
'You think he was more mad that you were having fun than that you stole the pick-up?' Mary asked.
'Merle don't need no reason to get mad.' Daryl said,looking up at the sky and frowning 'what the...?'.
'Snow goose.' Mary said, proud she was able to identify the bird.
'It shouldn't be here yet.' Daryl said, 'and it shouldn't be alone.'
'Maybe it's a maverick bird.' Mary suggested, 'Nobody tells me when to fly south, hell no!'
'Maybe.' Daryl said.
'Would you like to come over one night for something to eat?' Mary asked.
Daryl felt panicky again. This woman was too confident. But then suddenly some of that confidence seemed to leech into him. He snuck a sideways glance at her and remembered how he had made her moan all those years ago, little freeze frame flashbacks played through his head. He had a feeling she was testing him, expecting him to say no. Figuring that he just a tongue-tied hick who would run away screaming at being propositioned.
'When?' he asked.
He had been right- she looked shocked.
'Thursday- 'bout 7.30?' she said.
'If I ain't got nothing else on.' he said off handedly, 'Don't go fussin' case I don't show.'
'Do you know where I live?' she asked.
He pretended he didn't although he'd heard she lived over the shop.
'You know the old Amity Coffee shop?' she said, 'I live above.' She stopped walking. 'I'd better go, need to check on my mom.'
Daryl chewed on his grass, his expression arcane.
'It was good catching up with you.' Mary said, 'Even if the talking part was a bit one-sided.'
'I can talk up a storm when I want to.' Daryl told her.
'I know' she whispered, 'I remember. See ya thursday.'
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When he got home a hour or so later Merle was watching one of the news channels with an uncharacteristically horrified look on his face. The first reports of the crazy people attacking and eating other people had began to trickle through.
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