I'm thinking about you. The rain hits the window, and I'm looking through it. It's late, but I couldn't sleep. I'm just...I'm asking myself so many questions. I know that your destiny was bound to the island, but I just wonder if I could have done more to make you stay?
I feel so lonely, you know. Aaron is with Claire now, they are building a relationship. When I see them together, I can't help but remember how we were with him. How you were with him. Last time, she invited me over, and he cut his meat all by myself, doing exactly how you told him when you showed how to cut the pancakes in pieces he could swallow easily.
Sometimes, I think about the time you left us, when it was just Aaron and me, when my heart was shattered in pieces (it still is) after that fight, when you were drunk. I ask myself how I could have helped you. Why didn't I? Maybe if I had, you would have come back to us, we could have built something. Maybe our happiness would have been enough to chase the island forever.
Why wasn't it enough for you? It was enough for me, for Aaron. I think it was enough for you, but not for very long. I know how dedicated you are, and saw how it killed you to leave everyone behind. When you came after the trial, I felt hope. Hope that even with my past I could be a mother, a lover, and afterwards a (real) wife, but I never had the chance to experience the latter. I wish I had. I would have cherished you just like you cherished me.
Deep down, when you left, I knew you still loved me. When you were calling me, completely stoned, it was the hardest part. You were so deep, asking me to come back with you, or just see me. I was still so in love with you, but I was so scared. I didn't want to see you like this. You were always in control, confident. Seeing you like this...it broke my heart, and I know it broke yours even more when I was hanging up on you, telling you to get help. When I think about it, that's what you were doing. You were asking me to help you. And I regret it so much now. I should have come to you.
I'm sorry, Jack. I'm so sorry.
I love you, and I miss you.