Sorry this one is another one of my darker stories! It must be the weather making me write like this, I am going to try and upload some happier stories at some point, I promise.
'You're still the one I belong to, you're still the one I want for life, you're still the one I love, the only one I dream of'
Her fingers slowly open the folder and aimlessly flick between the pages, her eyes not even attempting to read the print, lost in her own thoughts. Her mind casting back to many years ago, the days when she was most content, when she had everything in her life that she could possibly wish for, the most beautiful little child and a husband who doted on the two of them, having already dealt with numerous situations and remaining strong, she truly believed they could survive anything. This hadn't been how she had planned her life, never thought she would have found her soul mate so early on in life, she never dreamt she'd have been that lucky. She clearly remembers the fear she felt when she realised she was pregnant at such an young age, believing nobody would stand by her and help her, she remembers the relief she felt when she told her boyfriend he was going to be a father, his strong arms instantly embracing her and she knew from that moment everything would be alright. Next came the engagement, just a few months after her son had been born, a small smile forms across her face as she recalls that night, how she burst into tears as he bent down on one knee, how perfect everything had been, her whole family had been so happy and it was all she ever could have asked for. Despite her not being overly keen on her brothers choice of wife, she couldn't deny how happy Paul had been since meeting and falling for Carla, and Liam had been doing what he does best and playing his way around most of the women in the Manchester area.
That is all the positive memories she has of her life, from then on it feels like a dark cloud covers over and it all turns sour. She will never be able to shake the piercing sound of the knock on the door from her memory nor the look of remorse on the police womans face as she turned Michelle's whole life around in just a matter of words. The night she learnt of her husbands death, the night it felt like someone reached in and tore out her heart, the moment when she also presumed both of her brothers were dead, not knowing how she would survive without any of them, she always had doubted herself as a mother, and now without Dean around she went into turmoil over the future of her and their son, how would she tell him that his father is dead, and what implications would that have on him as a child? She then remembers telling the frightened little boy what was going on, why his mum could not stop crying, why she was so scared, the way he seemed to crawl into a shell, and completely cut her out nearly killed her there and then, the thought of being alone terrifying her. Having to leave her son that night to go and identify her husbands body will always be the worst night of her life, his face as she left him with her mother still flashes clearly in her mind, as if he convinced himself that she too wouldn't be returning.
The sight of the body lying flat, a thin white sheet pulled up over the head, Michelle already knew it was her husband that lay beneath, but that did not stop the gasp and sobs that escaped her mouth as they slowly pulled the sheet back, revealing the body beneath. It was definitely her Dean, her husband, Ryan's Dad. Michelle remembers how that memory was the cause of so many nightmares over the years that followed, knowing she would never be able to erase the image of his pale face and blue lips, the deep wound that lay just above his eye from her memory, she hated that this was the way she would remember the love of her life.
"Michelle, whats wrong?"
She jumps slightly as the sound of Carla's voice brings her back into the real world and out of her thoughts, she had been so consumed in them she hadn't noticed the tears that had managed to escape from within and they proceeded to fall gently down her cheeks, even after all these years the anniversary of his death never got any easier, it always felt like it was only yesterday, as raw as the day she found out. She quickly glances around at her surroundings, the factory instantly reminding her of her brothers and making the whole ordeal worse. As she feels a comforting arm on her shoulder she quickly stands up, pushing herself away from a confused looking Carla, she quickly reaches for her bag, suddenly desperate for some fresh air and rushing out of the building quickly telling her best friend that she needed a minute and it is only once she reaches her flat that she allows herself to break down properly, realising the memory will always be there and that she will never get over him. She glances over at Ryan's room, slowly opening the door and watching his sleeping form, the exact same way she had done on that night, now not even attempting to stop her falling tears.