CHAPTER ONE: Decision

She had built her entire life around the hope of finding her father. Now that she had, the small crack in her heart caused by his absence crumbled and left her with an aching pain. Suzie had found her beloved father only to lose him so suddenly, and as selfish as it made her feel she couldn't stop thinking about how in chasing after the memories of her past she had lost her dreams for the future.

Cezar was far away but his ghost lingered in her soul even now, and Suzie knew that he would always be there. The past two months had been painful, first the loss of her only friend and then of her father, but what woke her up in the middle of the night in crying fits was the image of Cezar's sleeping form as it was sitting half up, half lying down on her small bed the last time she had seen him.

She loved him, oh how she loved him and one of her biggest regrets was that she hadn't had the courage to say to him those three little words...and now she never could.

These thoughts plagued Suzie's mind all night, and when morning came she got out of bed with a heavy heart. After dressing and making herself presentable she made her way to the dining table where her new extended family was waiting for her. Eliza was a kind woman who took Suzie in and accepted her as a daughter. Even little Anne and David were affectionate towards her, they had lost a father as well but had gained an older sister. She sat down and the four of them started eating. Suzie was still in awe of the luxurious life her father had created but for all the comfort and kindness offered to her, she couldn't be at peace here and it showed.

Suzie was suddenly awakened from her musings by Eliza.

"Susie, I was wondering if you have given any thought to my proposition." Eliza asked while she poured herself some of the fresh coffee a maid had just brought. Her face held a kind smile and Suzie knew that her stepmother wanted to her to stay for good and become a part of this family. She had even offered to pay for Suzie to go to a proper music school.

Suzie was expecting this and with a shy glance looked up at her stepmother. "I truly appreciate what you've done for me..." She didn't know how to continue, because she didn't know what she should do.

"But you are still undecided. I understand, Suzie, and I don't want to pressure you but it is my duty to look after you the way i know my husband would have. And besides, you are a part of this family now, and I haven't done anything I wouldn't do for my own children." At this she looked towards Anne and David who were watching the two women interested. With a defeated sigh, seeing as she wasn't going to receive an aswer, she added "we will talk about this later then."

"Thank you." Said Suzie with a small smile and turned to her curious younger siblings. "After breakfast would you like to go for a walk in the park? I promised to take you and it seems to be a lovely day. " She got her answer in the form of two children starting to talk enthusiastically, one about a kite he couldn't wait to fly and another about a new dress. The young woman left the children to carry on the table conversation while she sipped her tea and nibbled on a piece of toast. Not much of a breakfast but she couldn't seem to stomach more than that these days.

Carefully evading Eliza after breakfast, Suzie found herself one hour later on a bench in the park looking at her younger siblings running around carefree. Suddenly she heard David call her name.

"Suzie, look how high my kite is". He was running and Anne wasn't far behind. Wanting to please the child, Suzie quickly got up from the bench and lifted her head trying to find the mentioned object. The blue sky, white clouds and green kite all started to blend their colours until all that was left was complete blackness.

Suzie collapsed and Anna and David came rushing to her side. They tried shaking her awake but when that didn't work Anne turned to her brother and said through tears "You have to run home and tell mother. You're faster, David. Go and tell her. Go! " The boy, still in shock, took off as fast as his little legs carried him.

When Suzie opened her eyes she was in her room with her stepmother at the foot of the bed talking with an elderly man whom she recognised as a doctor from the hospital where her father had been.

"She's awake... " said Eliza with a relieved sigh.

"She should be fine, and I trust that you will take care of the rest and make the proper arrangements. I wish you both a good day." With a small bow to them he turned to leave the room but Eliza made to stop him. "There is no need to see me out, madam. I can find my own way and I am sure the young lady needs your presence now". He offered Suzie a small smile and left.

"What happened?...and what arrangements?" asked a confused Suzie. She was looking at her stepmother expectantly. Eliza slowly approached the bed and sat down on the edge. She had a peculiar look on her face, one that Suzie could not place. Her eyes bore into Suzie's with something like confusion and understanding all at the same time.

"You fainted in the park. When I saw David burst through the doors I think my heart stopped for a second...What's important is that we brought you home and a doctor saw you ...and that you're fine. " She was rambling, something that Eliza never did, and she still had that odd look on her face.

Suzie didn't say anything, she simply waited because she knew her stepmother wasn't finished.

"At least now I know why you are so reluctant to stay with us permanently." Her eyes looked directly into Suzie's. "What's his name?"

His name? Suzie didn't understand who Eliza was referring to. But then again, she couldn't be talking about him...Cezar was the only "him" in her heart, the only one she dreamed about every night, and cried for just as often, but she hadn't told anyone about him. He was her most guarded treasure, tucked safely in her heart. So how did Eliza know? And what did she mean about knowing why she didn't want to stay?

The questions were plainly written on her face. Eliza gently took the young woman's hand and a little hesitantly said:

"Well, what ever his name is, I can only hope that he is a good man because you are now forever connected to him. You're pregnant, Suzie. "

Pregnant, pregnant! She couldn't believe it... Pregnant! She kept repeating the word in her head while the hand that wasn't held by Eliza slowly moved towards her abdomen. Cezar's baby...Tears came to her eyes and Eliza started reassuring her but Suzie didn't pay her any attention. Her tears were of happiness and she found herself lost in a world where Cezar's strong arms were wrapped around her and there was a little boy with warm brown eyes running around them. A smile crept its way on her face and Eliza was stunned. In the two months she had known Suzie she had grown accustomed to the lingering sadness in her expression that she attributed to the death of her father, but at this moment Suzie was radiating peace and happiness. It was like someone had lifted all the dark clouds of sorrow and her eyes, like the sun, shone brighter than ever.

In those moments Suzie realised what she had to do, this baby gave her hope that maybe she and Cezar really were meant to be together. Turning to Eliza she stated with a new found confidence:"His name is Cezar, and I have to go back to Paris and find him. "