A Deck of Cards
Summary: A woman once said that a man is like playing a deck of cards... so what happens when he cheats? *Warning: CK*
A/N: Let me start of by saying, I'm glad you decided to stop by and read this one-shot. Before I proceed, however let me explain what 'CK' means in the summary. Let's rewind back to Hell in a Cell pay-per-view, the feud with Kelly and the Divas of Doom, well, mainly Beth Phoenix.
The next night, a tag team match was put together with Kelly and Eve vs the Divas of Doom and the match ended in DQ when Kelly was disqualified for going absolutely berserk. Since then, I've been crazy obsessed with Crazy Kelly, which is exactly what CK stands for in the summary. Sani (xOhSweetInsanity) and I are both obsessed with this and hoped this meant a new character angle for Kelly but sadly no... she's still the same ol' sweet Kelly Kelly, and I don't like that Kelly Kelly. I like Crazy Kelly.
Onto this one-shot idea, it's actually inspired by a funny quote I found on Google images and I actually posted it on my profile, yesterday... so if you seen it than you're not much in for a surprise here... if not then sit back relax, and buckle your seatbelt, because if you're not planning to read 'Papercut' then allow me to introduce you to Crazy Kelly.
Disclaimer: I don't own Kelly, Randy, or any other WWE wrestler/diva here, they own themselves and of course, property of the WWE.
Kelly placed down a card, looking up to face her friend AJ. "You're turn AJ." AJ took a card from her deck and placed it on the floor. "Looks like it's mine." AJ said smiling at her victory taking the two cards and placing them over with the rest.
"How come we couldn't play Poker?" Kelly pouted. "I don't know how to play Poker. It looks complicated, which is probably the main reason why I don't do casinos." AJ shrugged.
"Well, at least, Poker is more exciting than War. I look at it as such a kiddie game, 'I declare war.'" Kelly laughed. "So how are you and Daniel?" Kelly asked her. AJ sighed.
"What is it? What's wrong?" Kelly asked her.
"Daniel broke up with me." AJ informed her, shaking her head. "Really? Wow. That sucks. What happened?"
"He just told me that him and I, aren't working. He said he needed some spark, some action." AJ quoted. "Action? Are you a virgin?"
"Yes, I am actually. What's wrong with that? Nobody saw nothing wrong with Daniel being a vegan... but now it's a problem with me being a virgin?" AJ asked.
Kelly threw her hands up in defense. "No, No. I just... didn't know that's all." Kelly shrugged. AJ sighed again. "Love stinks."
"Believe me, it's tough, it really is. But let me teach you a little something about men." Kelly said, getting AJ's full attention. "What Kelly? Teach me, I want to know." AJ insisted.
"A man is like playing a deck of cards. You look at them and you have everything you want and need in a relationship, and of course, there are cards that have their fatality." Kelly explained.
"Fatality? What do you mean by fatality?" AJ asked curiously. "Some are fatal." Kelly answered quickly. "Oh... okay. That's kind of weird.. but okay." AJ nodded.
"Alright AJ, so you might be wondering, how does playing a deck of cards relate to loving a man in a relationship. So of course, in a relationship you have your..." Kelly shuffled through the deck putting down three cards.
"A King, Queen, and a Jack. Think of a Jack like a child, a knave, you know how parents do what they tell them to do, have chores for them, yadda, yadda, yadda, they're like servants... at least... in a way." Kelly explained. AJ laughed.
"That's mean, Kelly. Parents have kids to love them and take care of them. Not boss them around, I mean, sure it's to teach them how to be responsible, but now... you're just taking it the wrong way." AJ said shaking her head at her friend.
"Well that's how I see it at least." Kelly said defensively. She proceeded on however, moving onto the Ace. "An Ace... this is my favorite one, an Ace in a relationship is what you get in bed. Everybody loves the Ace." Kelly jokingly stated.
AJ laughed hysterically. "But this is where it really comes to play, what you also need is..." Kelly said before her mind drifts into a flashback, taking her out of her reality.
"A HEART to love him..."
Kelly sat across a table from her boyfriend, Randy Orton, in a fine dine restaurant. Five stars. It was magical. Randy Orton was everything she wanted in a man, she never felt so happy in her entire life.
"Randy, this is just... simply amazing."
"You're amazing. What would you like Kelly?" Randy asked her. Kelly smiled and shook her head. "I- I don't know what to choose. It's just soo much."
Randy chuckled. "Well... choose whatever you want, baby. It's on me."
"You would go this far, to treat me in a five star restaurant huh Randy?" Kelly asked, with an eyebrow perched. "Where did you get this money from anyway?"
"Work. Everything I do is for you Kelly, this dinner... is for you. I do anything for you Kelly... I do it.. because I love you." Randy told her sincerely.
Kelly smiled. "Awww Randy, I love you too."
"A DIAMOND to marry him."
The dinner between the couple went exceptionally well. Kelly had an amazing time, she was so in love, she felt like she was on top of the world, like a Queen. They were just about ready to leave when Kelly had to make a run to the Ladies Room, leaving Randy to himself, patiently waiting for his girlfriend.
He took out a small box, and squeezed it, nervously. He was getting ready to do it, in front of all these people, he was going to ask the woman he loves, a hand in marriage.
Kelly came back to a nervous looking Randy.
"What's the matter Randy? You looked like someone punched you in the stomach, knocking all the wind out of you." Kelly said watching her boyfriend.
"Kelly, I actually have something to ask you." Randy said sheepishly.
"What?"
Randy awkwardly got on his knee, pulling out the box and opened it to reveal a diamond engagement ring. "We've been together for a while now, Kelly. And... I know I'm ready when I ask you... will you marry me?"
Kelly almost fainted, thankfully regaining her composure to deliver her answer.
"Omigosh! Randy! Yes! Yes! A million times yes!" Kelly cried out, jumping into Randy's arms.
"Kelly, Kelly? Yoohoo!" AJ called, bringing Kelly back from her memories. "Yes? Yes?" Kelly responded to AJ, surprised. "I'm sorry, you kind of blacked out on me for a minute. But I have question," AJ paused.
"Yeah, what is it?"
"What happens when a man cheats in a game of cards? Since you are using this analogy to a man." AJ asked.
"What... happens? Well..."
Her mind fell back to her memories again.
It's been months after Kelly and Randy announced their engagement and everything was going smoothly until Miss Eve Marie Torres waltz into their lives. She just so happened to move next door to Randy and Kelly, and came over to introduce herself.
"Hi, I'm Eve Torres. I'm new in the neighborhood." Eve said introducing herself. "Hi Eve, I'm Randy Orton, this is my fiancee Kelly."
"Hey,"
"Hi, Kelly. Fiance huh? Congratulations."
"Thanks." Kelly thanked her. "Welcome to the neighborhood."
"Why thank you. It's nice out here. Where I used to live, was... kind of terrible."
"Really? Wow. Well, I guess it's best to start over."
"Yeah, say I was thinking, maybe we can have you over for dinner? Since you are willing to start over you know?" Randy suggested. "That's a great idea. I would love to come."
"Great, we'll see you."
Eve hurried off over to next door, with Randy closing the door. "That was kind of unexpected. Inviting her to dinner when we just met her." Kelly said crossing her arms. "What? I was only being nice. Isn't that why you said yes to me when I asked you to marry me?" Randy asked, smirking.
"God, that smirk of yours. That drives me crazy." Kelly giggled.
"You know you love me." Randy says as he leans over to kiss Kelly. "Come on, help me in the kitchen, Kells."
Few weeks later...
Kelly sat in an office when Alicia Fox tapped on the doorway. "Hey Alicia."
"Kelly, my gosh, girl, I've been wanting to talk to you." Alicia makes her way to sit across from Kelly at a desk. "What is it? What's going on?"
"Oh I just wanted to ask how you and Randy are doing." Alicia clapped her hands together. "Come on girl, I want to know. What's up?"
"Oh, we're okay. Not great... but okay." Kelly simply said. "Okay? Why okay?" Alicia asked her.
"Few weeks ago, a woman named Eve Torres moved next door to us. Ever since then, she's been constantly coming over here, and I feel like I never have time for Randy and I to be alone."
"Eve Torres? Hmmm... where did I hear that name before?" Alicia asked, rubbing her chin. "You've heard of her?{ Kelly asked her, shocked. "I think so. Her name sounds familiar, I just can't remember... what exactly it is that I remember of Eve Torres. I don't know... all I know is, her name... it sounds familiar."
"Oh. Okay." Kelly said turning to her computer. "All I know is, that you should probably do a background check on her, and check up on Randy too. Just so... you know."
"No, no. I don't think Randy would ever cheat on me."
"You say that now. You'll be amazed at how many good men cheat on their women." Alicia says. That put Kelly into doubt... maybe she should do a background check on this Eve Torres, and perhaps check on Randy.
"Well, I have to get back to work. I'll talk to you later Kells."
"I'll see you Alicia." Kelly calls out, before she clicks on the new tab to Google, and Googles this 'Eve Torres.' When she did, when she pressed search button, Kelly was blown away at the results.
The first word that screamed out to her was, 'Hoeski.' She clicked on a link and read about how Eve had a past relationship with someone named Zack Ryder, and how Eve manipulated him, sleeping with him to gain publicity, and get money.
So that's why Eve moved, she had a terrible rep, as a 'Hoeski.' Kelly shook her head. So much for new starts. That reminded her... she had to get home... and fast.
Kelly walked into the door, immediately calling Randy's name. "Randy? Randy?" She ran around the house, like a chicken without a head, looking for her husband. "Randy?"
No answer.
Something wasn't right...
~x~x~x~x~x~x
She walked over to Eve's home, and to Kelly's surprise, the door was wide open. She marched in and up until she walked into the living room, she wish she hadn't. Eve and Randy, their lips on each other, practically swallowing each other down.
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING RANDY!"
Randy broke away surprised to see Kelly glaring at them. Eve smirked. "Oh, hey Kelly."
"Get... your... hands... away... from... him... right... now." Kelly barked.
"Randy... ho- how could you?" Kelly sobbed, tearing up. "Kelly, please... it's complicated."
"Shut the hell up, and get home..." Kelly barked, Randy walked out leaving Kelly and Eve alone. "And you bitch, you better stay away from me... because I swear to GOD, I will shoot you, I will bury you and I will piss on your grave, stupid bitch!"
Kelly walked out, muttering to herself. "I'll show you... I'll show you..."
"A CLUB to smash his fucking head in..."
Randy paced back and forth, he knew he was in a heap of trouble with his fiancee, soon to be ex-fiancee, he feared. He kept pacing and stopped when he spotted Kelly with a golf club in hand.
"Kelly,"
"Shut up." Kelly barked.
"How could you? How could you Randy? Why? I gave you..." Kelly took the club and took a good swing at a picture of her and Randy.
"Kelly!"
"I GAVE YOU EVERYTHING RANDY! How can you BETRAY me? ME?" Kelly cried out, taking another swing at a vase, breaking it.
"Kelly, stop! You're... you're crazy!"
"Crazy? You want crazy? I'll show you crazy!"
"Kelly! STOP! NO!" Randy called out in horror. Kelly ran with the club in hand, and took a good swung at Randy's head, the club immediately connecting with Randy's skull.
Randy fell on the floor, unconscious. Opening his eyes, he attempted to crawl his way downstairs when Kelly connected with another hard blow at Randy's head with the club. He was out, she did it again, again and again. She even went for Randy's ribs, even hearing a few of the crack and continued to beat on Randy with the club still in hand, until he did not move anymore.
"and A SPADE to bury the bastard..."
Kelly threw the shovel down to the ground, muttering to herself. "Should've never... should've never hurt me... that's what you get... th- that's what you get." Kelly muttered, before walking away, her hands shaking uncontrollably.
"That's a funny quote, I never thought of it that way." AJ laughed. Kelly nodded as she gathered the cards, putting it away.
"Yeah..." Kelly laughed along with her. "Funny... funny, funny, funny."
"What is it Kelly?"
"It's nothing... I'm just a funny person huh? A joker right?"
"Yeah, Kelly, you're funny."
A/N: WHOA! Kelly's crazy! Review. :D