Im just setting the scene a little with this chapter, let me know if you're interested in more!
And is it that it's over or do birds still sing for you?
The familiar feel of the cobbles under his feet made him feel safe again for a brief few moments. They comforted him in a way he hadn't imagined they could. It was a relief to be back, it was somewhere that was filled with a million memories and even more mistakes; but it was home. And Peter knew that was what he needed right now. He'd told himself a hundred time over he'd only returned to see his family. To break the news to those that didnt know and spend time with people that understood him, loved him. He told himself he wouldn't even glance at his ex wife when she crossed him in the street or make excuses to talk to her over silly nothings. He'd let her live her life like she deserved and cause her no unnecessary stress or upset. Not anymore. He would even go out of his way to make sure she didn't find out why he'd really come back. He didn't deserve her pity.
Letting his suitcase drag along behind him, Peter knocked on the front door of the home he knew would be less homely than it had ever felt without his ever warm Deidre to welcome him with a hot brew and a friendly hug. He tried not to dwell on that, or how little luggage he was bringing. For someone with so much baggage, he didn't have much to show for it at all.
Finally the door to number 1 opened and Peter was happy to know at least one person was happy to see him. The look on his dad's face said it all and Peter finally felt relief as he was given a loving hug and welcomed home.
Since the cancer diagnosis, Peter had never felt lonelier. He found himself thinking about Carla more than ever. Imagining how she'd have taken the news had they still been married, imagining how she would have rocked him as he sobbed helplessly and held his hands at doctors appointments. She would have told him they could get through it, that it wasn't the end because they would fight. Peter found he wasn't good at the whole fighting thing. Not without her anyway.
The day he found out, he climbed back into bed and didn't move for days. He drank himself silly and comforted himself with an old picture of them both. It was the only way he knew how to get through things.
Eventually though, Peter realised he couldn't do it alone. And that was when he'd found himself piled onto a train and heading back to the only place that had ever really been home.
Weatherfield.
He didn't know if it was going to kill him, but he'd thought about it many times. He wondered who would morn him and he'd realised just how short the list of people would be. He hoped she would care, he hoped she'd go to his funeral and cry by his grave if this disease did take him. He hoped she'd forgive him in death what she couldn't in life.
In all honesty, he didn't even know if Carla had stuck around. That place held more demons for her than it had for him but like him, he knew it was her home. Deep down, anyway. Not that it matters if shes around because he refuses to approach her and become a burden to anyone else. Still, it would be nice to see her from far at least once. See those eyes and that smile of hers again. Although, Peter wasn't stupid enough to ever thing the smile would be directed at him again.
He missed that smile, the one she'd reserved just for him. He assumed she'd only reserved it for those she truly loved and wondered if maybe only her dead lover was the other to have seen it. Little did he know she'd found someone else to give that smile to now. Then again, little did he know how rarely she'd been smiling full stop these days. Until now. She was finally starting to get her life back on track, but Peter had never realised it was off route. Because she had someone else picking up the pieces.
And when Peter found out who, it might just kill him before the cancer did.