flash back:

Two boys at the age of five played on the very end of a garden , as though they were hiding , giggling and laughing , it was getting late , and they were both starting to feel very sleepy , but singing there favourite song , remus's mother had taught them .

" castor a shining burning star in the sky

I'll look up to see you way up high ,

you'll look down and we'll smile together ,

i know that even if your gone , you'll love me forever.

and i love you , night "

" i know , Siwwy , mum will be worrying too , night bestest friend ever "

" Wemmy "

" yer "

Remus felt a pair of lips brush against his , and he gasped collectively , he was only five , and he knew it was wrong , they were both boy's , not many five year old knew this , but his father hated that kind , so he would always talk about how wrong it was for two men or woman to be together , so in following his fathers footsteps he pushed Sirius off , even if he did quite enjoy it.

Sirius sighed he knew he would do that , he had heard Remus's father talk about them things anyway , every one heard that man .

" sorry "

Before Remus could replie , they heard a scream , and turned around to see a large wolf , and an oddly familiar woman standing next to it , he looked to see where the scream had come from , and felt his knees give in .

" MUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUM "

A slender figure lay helpless on the floor , his mum , Castor , and his dad , oh no his dad , now he really would hurt him , and there would be no mum to stop him .

Sirius froze what was happening , he saw Castor lying on the floor wounded , he saw her dying , he saw other people die , but what was even more disgusting was the killer , the woman standing next to Castor brandishing a knife , his mother , i don't get it , i thought mum only hurt me .

Five year old Remus turned to five year old Sirius , glaring , with a hurt expression playing over and over again in sirius mind .

" I hate you , bet you helped kill mummy , mum please donut die , you were friend , and you helped , I HATE YOU , don't never talk to me again "

Suddenly Sirius felt him self tighten , he didn't know why it hurt , well yer cause his friend broke up with him , but it hurt more that that , he was his best friend , but Sirius was to young to know what it was , so he slowly turned around , tears spilling majestically out of his eyes .

He heard a scream , Remus was lying on the floor , and looked dead , he was upset , and he fled , he didn't want to see no more , clutching on to the friend ship bracelet him and Remus had kept for as long as they had known each other "

MUUUUUUUUUUUUUUM "

A wolf like figure could be seen slumping through the trees along with a maniac laughing clarita .

Remus looked down to him mum and kissed her tenderly on the cheek

" Mum , please don't leave me , with ... with ... dad , plz"

A slender figure lay breathless on the ground , smiling , and looking up her son , sympathy sparkling mildly in her eyes .

" Mum , please , no , NOOOOO , mum get up , what will i do , GET UP , i love you " .

A barely spoken voice whispered softly , as he looked down to his mother clutching in pain , how could she be so understanding at this point , how , she's dying .

" As long as you don't let the thing in side you , change you Remus you will be okay , don't let any one change you , not the wolf , or your dad , remember the only thing that would let me down from you , is if it changed you "

Four years later

Remus pov :

He could remember his friends face , the tears , and that ever so satisfying kiss , he shouldn't , but he could , it was all part of the wolf , memory was strong in a wolf , in a thing .

He knew for certain he had known he had loved that Sirius guy , as a best friend , nothing else , but he couldn't believe he would help his mum , part of him didn't want to , but it was obvious , he was a black , and he was toying with his ability to trust .

He still had nightmares , and dreams about that night , the nightmare was the mum dying , and turning into a wolf , and Sirius running before he saw what Remus was , and the dream was playing with trucks , toys his best friend .

he remembered being kissed , he wasn't sure why , it felt weird now , cause as far as he knew he definitely didn't swing that way .

He sighed , and looked in his memory box , even if he had helped clarita he was his best friend , so he had kept the friend ship bracelet , with the inscribing on , he never left home without it .

Four years later

Sirius pov :

He didn't remember his friends face , anything , he vaguely remembered sandy brown hair , and a crooked smile , that made his head feel light , he remembered kissing him , but that was years ago , and he definitely did not swing that way.

He couldn't believe he was dead , he couldn't even remember his name , something like Rimas , he wasn't sure , he still had dreams of playing with him in the dreams he would see him perfectly , hear his name , but he could only remember that if he really wanted too , and he really didn't want to know , it would hurt too much , and night mares where he would see Castor die , another star just like him , and hear his accusing voice , and his mum killing Castor .

He had bin hurt on the last day he knew him , he had thought that he had helped his mum , him help Clarita black , never , but they were five , and if he was alive he would still believe it .

he sighed and looked in memory box , where he had put his friendship bracelet , and slowly started to smile. he never left home with out it .

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