Yes, this is also on deviantART under my account there, so no...I did not steal my own work (but yes, it is under a slightly different title only because I didn't have room on dA to use the title I wanted to). I simply decided to move it here as well. I'm also aware that this isn't the greatest, and I cannot remember the circumstances of why I wrote this; it's been almost a month since I wrote this oneshot.
Full Summary: Naruto has a momentary loss of control and is sentenced to death. Two years later, Sasuke returns home to find that Naruto is dead and left only a letter is behind for the Uchiha. Will Sasuke have a sense of closure from Naruto's letter, or will more questions and uncertainties arise?
Warnings: SasuNaru or NaruSasu, whichever way you want to look at it, some ooc-ness, angst (kind of), and character death. Also a slight mentioning of LeeSaku.
Disclaimer: No, I do not own the Naruto characters.
Naruto stared at the bright blue sky, thinking that the nice day was rather bittersweet. It was nice to have lovely weather, but at the same time, Naruto didn't want there to be nice weather when he felt so helpless.
It was going to be his last day.
The problem with the kyuubi finally had been seen by someone outside of those who trusted him. Once again Naruto hurt a comrade when he snapped, and because of that, the majority of the village was calling for his execution. He hadn't meant to hurt anyone, but once again he was thwarted in bringing Sasuke back home.
Breathing deeply, Naruto turned away from the window and went further into his apartment. He may have his execution the next morning, but he was simply contained under house arrest. Tsunade fought and managed that much for him.
In truth, Naruto was grateful for her attempt, but he knew that nothing would sway the council after his mishap. It really had only been a matter of time before they pinned him with something to get rid of him for.
There was always the chance of running away…but he couldn't do that. Even if it meant his death…he would not betray the village he was completely loyal to. However, that did not mean that he would let them be the ones to end his life. No…Naruto just couldn't face the number of people that truly despised him. He was afraid of seeing some of his friends in among the crowd that no longer trusted him. Seeing them look at him with distrust simply would be too much for him.
Walking into his bedroom and shutting his thick curtains in order to cut off the sunlight, Naruto took out a kunai. He wanted to be the one to end it, simply because then it would mean the council wouldn't have the satisfaction of doing it, as well as his previous fear of having turned his friends against him.
There were a few ways that he could go about ending it. He could always slit his wrists and wait to bleed out, but wait…that wouldn't work; the kyuubi would heal him long before he could lose enough blood. That and he wasn't one to cut since an overly painful and drawn out death wasn't exactly appealing. Then he thought of slitting his throat. To drown in one's own blood…how morbidly poetic, but no. Naruto really didn't want to do that either. This basically left him with the simple, yet effective, end; to stab himself in the heart.
Raising the kunai, Naruto was ready to plunge it into his chest, but he paused. Maybe he should leave a letter? For those few that might still wonder why he did what he did? No…all of his friends he grew up with—if they didn't hate him that is—would understand why….
He then moved the kunai back into position, only to think of another. What about Sasuke? Sure, the bastard wasn't in Konoha, and probably wouldn't return ever again, but if he did...would he wonder what happened to Naruto? Naruto let out a dry laugh. It wasn't likely that the Uchiha would wonder too much, and the others would most likely tell him what happened, but even so…Naruto got up and picked up a piece of paper…just in case.
~*~*~*~
Walking through the gates of Konoha, Sasuke watched as people gasped and seemed overly happy to see him, but thankfully no one dared approach him, minus the ANBU that were leading him to the Hokage.
Hokage…. That word made Sasuke wonder if Naruto had yet accomplished his goal in the years that he had been away from Konoha, or at least be of a much higher rank than when he left the energetic blonde and the village behind. The blonde was too stubborn to just remain a genin his entire life.
Walking into the office that he had been led to, Sasuke noticed Tsunade sitting behind the desk; so…Naruto hadn't made his goal it seemed. However, he did notice that she seemed to be older than when he last saw her, which was strange since he had that jutsu that kept her young, didn't she?
"So…the illustrious Uchiha has returned home."
Sasuke noticed that her tone was sarcastic and bitter, but what else was to be expected from a woman who never really took to him?
"Yes, I have returned to Konoha," Sasuke stated simply.
"And you admit to having turned traitor to join forces with Orochimaru?"
"Yes."
"Do you plan on causing any future grief to Konoha, or do you intend to be loyal once again to the village?"
"I came back to once again be a ninja for Konoha."
He watched as Tsunade sighed while muttering something that sounded like 'unfair' under her breath. This confused him, but he did not question the woman in front of him. That wouldn't be the wisest thing to do since she most likely held his fate in her hands.
"The council has informed me that if you were to willingly admit your guilty past and return to Konoha, that I was to let you off with no punishment whatsoever," she sighed. "However, I wonder how long that loyalty will last."
Hardening his gaze at the old woman in front of him, Sasuke knew that it was to be expected, but why would he betray the village now? He had accomplished his goals and was finally back. What would he profit from being away from the village any longer? Besides, there were people that he wanted to see here….
"You may leave, Uchiha."
"Hn."
Walking out of the office, Sasuke wandered out into the busy streets, trying to ignore how everyone seemed to adore him even more than before.
"S-Sasuke?!"
Forcing himself to keep from groaning in annoyance, Sasuke shifted his gaze to see a startled Sakura; however, she wasn't the only one startled after Sasuke noticed her bulging belly. Well…that was a surprise.
"Sakura."
"It is you!"
This time Sasuke didn't hold back a reaction and rolled his eyes. Really, who else could it be?
"I…can't believe that you're back…. There's so much that we have to talk about."
He wasn't sure, especially since he had been so bad at reading people's emotions—mainly because he secluded himself so much—but he thought that he heard a hint of remorse in her tone.
"I guess there is," he mentioned while deliberately looking at Sakura's protruding stomach. "However, I was looking for—"
"Sasuke…we really need to talk first," Sakura interrupted.
Sasuke wasn't used to being given orders by Sakura of all people, but he decided to humor the young woman. This was mainly the case because he knew of her training under Tsunade, and not to mention that a pregnant woman was not someone to cross.
"Fine," he muttered. "Where are we going for this talk?"
Sakura was silent for a moment, and Sasuke gave her time to think of where would be best. Besides, it wasn't likely that his former teammate had been planning on running into him of all people.
"We'll go to my place," she decided while beginning to walk away.
Following Sakura silently, Sasuke noticed that the path they were taking was leading them further away from the busy part of the village, and over to a quite area filled with homes. Well, it seemed that Sakura was doing well these days.
"I'm home!" Sakura called out.
Now, out of all that Sasuke was expecting, he wasn't exactly expecting an unstable toddler to come walking out with Lee following close behind. Well…they had been…busy….
"Up! Up!" the toddler called out.
Sasuke noticed that Sakura gave the child a small smile before turning to Lee.
"Could you take her? I have to talk with Sasuke about a few things."
"No problem, Sakura," Lee replied. "Sasuke, I see you've returned."
He simply nodded. What was the point of a conversation that was unnecessarily dragged out when he had other things to do?
"Sasuke, follow me."
Once again trailing after his former teammate, Sasuke found himself in what he figured was a living room. He took a seat when Sakura motioned for him to do so, and he simply sat there. It was obvious that his conversational skills hadn't improved over the years.
"So is there anything you want to say first?" Sakura asked.
"You have a kid," he mentioned rather bluntly.
This seemed to amuse Sakura since she laughed a little.
"And one on the way it seems," Sasuke added.
The reaction after this comment seemed to be a bit more subdued. She simply gave a small smile while placing her hand over her stomach.
"Yeah…a lot of things have happened since you've been gone. Most of our friends have gotten families of their own now. The next generation is certainly going to be a handful."
And from there the conversation went on for some time, Sasuke trying to absorb all of the information that he was given about the young children of their former group. Despite this, he knew that he was going to forget the moment that Sakura stopped talking about all of them. Really, he wasn't all that interested in what each child's first words were, or their horror stories of sleepless nights with newborns. Finally when the conversation slowed down and a spell of silence fell over them, Sasuke felt that he had to ask something else.
"What about Naruto?"
The sad smile that Sakura gave him was confusing. He wasn't exactly worried, but…he didn't know what to call the emotion that bloomed in his stomach.
"I'm naming my son after him," she sighed while patting her stomach.
"Sakura," Sasuke almost growled in a warning tone.
"I can't sugarcoat things, Sasuke, so I'll come right out and say it. He's been dead for nearly two years now."
Sasuke tilted his head to the side and watched Sakura carefully. He swore if this was some joke, then he was going to yell at her. Pregnant or not, that didn't give her the right to say such a thing; however, he noticed the tears that slipped from her eyes. At that moment, he knew she wasn't lying.
"How?"
He didn't mean to sound unemotional about the whole thing, but that was all he could do to try and stay in control of the confusion running through his mind. Sasuke figured that he would just deal with everything else later.
"He killed himself," she whispered.
"Why?"
Watching as Sakura took in a shuddering breath, he knew to be quiet and wait for her to finish explaining.
"He did it to keep the council from doing it first."
After that first sentence, Sasuke listened silently as Sakura explained about the momentary loss of control on one of the missions to bring him back to the village, and the council's and villagers' reactions to the whole thing. However, he realized that while she was telling him this, he had gone numb. Whether it was from shock, anger, guilt, or some other emotion, Sasuke wasn't sure.
"—and then they found him in his bed the next morning with a kunai through his heart…" she trailed off.
Blinking at her for a moment, Sasuke remained silent before he stood up.
"Wait, Sasuke, there's something else."
He simply sent her a blank look as she rushed out of the room—well, as much as a pregnant woman can that is—only to return with an envelope that looked a little aged.
"Here, this was the only letter he left behind, and it was for you. No one felt as if they had a right to look at it, even if we didn't think that you would come back…" Sakura informed him. "I'll give you some time alone to read it."
Taking the envelope, Sasuke watched as Sakura left before he sat back down in the seat that he had abandoned moments ago. On the front his name was written in the thin, scratchy scrawl that he recognized as Naruto's. It always surprised him that Naruto didn't have horrible handwriting as he always thought the blonde would have. Tearing open the flap, he pulled out the contents of the envelope and started reading.
Hey Sasuke,
If you're reading this, then it means you finally came back home. I'm glad. You need to be home rather than out there with even more people out to get you. Hopefully you'll stay now. Oh, are you doing okay? I hope so.
Sasuke frowned as he read the first few lines. Why was Naruto so concerned about ihim/i of all people when he was at his last moments? Naruto was truly selfless, making Sasuke wonder how anyone could blame the blonde for a moment of lost control. Despite those thoughts, he continued to read.
Well, I'm not sure how you got a hold of this letter, but whoever it was that gave you it probably told you what happened. If not, then ask someone to tell you before reading on; I really don't want to have to write it out. The only reason I am writing this is to tell you that I'm doing the one thing that I can do right.
I want to protect the village; it's been my lifelong goal to become the Hokage, and although I didn't make it, I'll be able to protect the village this way…I guess.
Hey remember that time—
Sasuke frowned. It was obvious that Naruto didn't want to die, but from what he heard from Sakura it was to keep anyone else from doing it instead. He couldn't imagine what it would be like to feel the need to take one's own life while desperately wanting to live at the same time. At this thought, Sasuke's heart clenched painfully.
Reading on, he noticed how Naruto went to mention small memories of team seven; however, Sasuke also noticed the small blotches on the paper as he continued on.
Hey, let me tell you a secret, Sasuke. I don't want to die, I really don't, but it is better than looking out and seeing how many really want me dead, or even to see if my own friends fear me. I'm also afraid of what's beyond life. I mean, seriously, death is an ultimatum that no one can tell you about. Is there some pearly gate or fiery pit, is there another life to go through once you've finished with one, or is there simply nothing and everything ceases to exist? Or maybe…maybe when we die…we get to relive our lives over and over again…a never-ending cycle. To tell the truth…even though it was rather crappy…I think I would want to live the same life again. That would mean that I could see everyone again. Maybe I could even change that mishap that landed me in this situation…that would be nice.
Swallowing the lump in his throat, Sasuke forced himself to continue reading without crying over Naruto's fate. Well, at the very least he wanted to be in private—not simply using a room in Sakura's house—before showing emotion over the whole ordeal.
Well, I guess that I've said most of the things I wanted to…and besides, if this goes on too much longer I'll have to write a book, and I really don't have the time to do that.
Oh, and I want to tell you one more secret. I just can't take this with me to the grave, and although it's probably something you'd call me an idiot for, I just have to let you know (despite the chance that you'll never see this letter). I think I love you.
The only reason I'm not completely certain, though I am rather close to it, is because…I'm not too sure what love is like. I'm sure you know what it's like, but this is new to me. I mean, yeah you're my friend, my best friend, so I care about you, but at the same time it feels like more than that. Maybe that's why I kept trying to get you to come home, and why it hurt every time I failed. Yeah, I admit that I failed, but don't expect me to ever admit that ever again. Oh…wait….
I have to admit that writing this letter to you, even if there's a chance you'll never come home, made me forget that I only have a few moments left. You might be wondering why I don't just run away…well, I don't want to betray the village…even if they don't want me. However, I think I'm a little less afraid of death now. Thank you, you damn bastard. I think that I can finally go into the unknown and see what's there for myself. Sure, it's a lot sooner than I had hoped, but it happens eventually. If there's anything on the other side, other than ceasing to exist that is, I'll be waiting. Whether it's our lives all over again, heaven or hell, or living a different life in a different time, I'll still be waiting. Even if you don't love me, or what I'm feeling really isn't love but indigestion or something whenever I see you, then we'll still be friends. Right, Sasuke? We'll still be friends? I certainly hope so….
Well, it's time to go now. Bye.
Naruto
Sasuke sat there, not noticing that his hands clenched the letter tightly as he lowered his head. Dropping the paper, he grasped the hair on the back of his head, appearing to try and turn himself into a ball as he sat in Sakura's living room.
~*~*~*~
Sakura glanced into the room where she left Sasuke, wondering why it had been so quiet. She knew better than to think that her former teammate would throw a fit in her home since he was usually so controlled, but she had expected at least some reaction.
Then, only a moment later she watched as he picked up his head and stood up while collecting the discarded letter and storming out the door.
"Sas—"
"Sakura…let him go. He probably wants to be alone right now," Lee stated.
Taking in a deep breath, she nodded. Lee was right, it was best if she just left Sasuke alone for now, but she was afraid that her friend would run away again.
"He'll stay," Lee added, as if reading Sakura's mind, "but he'll probably be more of a recluse than before."
~*~*~*~
It took Sasuke a while, over a month in fact, to bring himself to go to the graveyard and stand in front of Naruto's resting place. He learned that, although the council didn't want it, Naruto had been buried as any other person would in Konoha. That was thanks to all their friends and Tsunade. He was glad that the blonde at least got that much, rather than simply being tossed into the forest for some animals to devour.
During the time that he was in the village, Sasuke made it very clear that he despised the council for what they did. Now it was a common sight to see the council members double checking their surroundings, or keeping their mouths shut when around the Uchiha.
In addition to everything, there was one incident a week after he returned where Sasuke refused to leave his house. Sasuke could no longer hold the emotions back and cried for Naruto. It lasted all day before he simply cried himself to sleep. It took another day to have his eyes lose the red color they obtained while crying the day before, but after that he simply turned cold toward the majority of the village. Only the friends from the past were spared from an overly bitter Sasuke, they just got a slightly more silent one than what they were used to in the past.
"Hey…" Sasuke whispered. "I decided to return the favor and write a letter back to you. However, since I don't think you'll be able to see it, I'll read it for you and just hope you can hear me because I'm never going to look at this letter again.
"Hey Naruto…It's been a while, and yeah…I came home. Though, I don't see why you need to keep asking about me when you were the one needing help. As for how I got the letter…Sakura gave it to me. She said no one looked at it since they didn't feel they had the right, and to this day I'm the only one who has ever read it.
"Don't ever say that again, Naruto. That's not the only thing you can do right. Hell, I don't think dying is what you should have done, you should have run away. However, I know you better than that; you would never betray the village, just as you said…but that doesn't change what I think you should have done. You've done so many things right in your life. Sure, there were a lot of bumps along the way…but you always managed. You passed the genin test, and look at what happened with Inari and that village back in the beginning of our ninja career, or how you managed to save our necks in the chuunin exams in that damned forest. What about being able to master the rasengan? There really are too many things to list…and truthfully, I don't have the time to go through them. Sorry."
Taking in a deep breath, Sasuke knew that he had to continue, but it would only get harder from this point on.
"I have to admit that I admire how you can still say that you want to protect the village, even after all that you went through…especially in your last moments. I can't lie and say that I understand because you would immediately know that I was lying. I've always been adored by this damn place, but the one who deserved it more…well, we both know what happened.
"And yes, I do remember all those pointless things you listed off. I don't know why you had to go and add those things, but…I'm glad you did. If you didn't I'm sure I would have forgotten, so…thank you.
"I think it was pretty obvious you didn't want to die…hell, I wish you didn't, but I guess…it's too late to do anything about it, huh? Oh, and let me tell you a secret in return. I'm afraid of death too. I don't know what's there either, and although you know now, I can't exactly talk to you about it, now can I? I hope it's nice where you are, regardless of what the outcome is. Oh, and thanks for making me worry about all these other possibilities of what happens after death. Now I can't help but to wonder and worry about it all the time; thanks you idiot.
"There's another secret I want to tell you…."
Sasuke paused, trying to force the lump down his throat as he felt his eyes burn slightly and see his vision blur. No…he didn't want to cry, but it seemed that he wasn't going to be able to completely control that either.
"I-I think I l-love you, too. It's strange, loving an idiot like you, b-but I guess we'll never find out if it would have worked between us…being so different. Maybe if there is a next life, then we will get the chance, but for now we'll just have to wait, won't we? And don't say that…don't say you failed. If anyone failed, it was me. I failed you, not the other way around.
"It's nice…to hear that you'll be waiting on t-the other side for me, and until it's time to see you again…I'll be waiting to join you. You really should stop worrying, we'll always be friends…but you better not fall in love with someone else before we get a chance. I'm kidding…I just want you to be happy while you wait. Oh, and don't thank me…I should thank you, so…th-thank you, Naruto…thank you."
Breaking down in front of the grave, Sasuke knew that it was likely that Naruto would never hear what he had to say in response to the letter that was left for him, but he still needed to finally say what had been trapped in his head for a while now.
Once he finally regained his composure, Sasuke sighed and glanced toward the bright sky.
"Hey…Sakura's naming her baby after you, I'm certainly sure you don't mind. I wonder if this baby will be a troublemaker too," he murmured. "Anyway…I'll see you later."
Turning his back to the grave, Sasuke walked out of the cemetery, only to glance back when he reached the gate. He couldn't see Naruto's resting spot from where he was, but he wanted to silently acknowledge his dead friend once more before turning away and walking home to begin his wait until he would see Naruto again.
