I do not own the rights to Neon Genesis Evangelion, or any of the characters, equipment, or locations written in this fanfiction. The purpose of this fanfiction is merely for the non-profit enjoyment of other readers. If requested by Gainax, Hideki Anno, or other parties which represent aforementioned objects in this story, I will remove it promptly.
Chapter I:
Hikari had not noticed him before, not until the battle with what was termed the Fourteenth Angel. She could never understand how she ignored him before then. Not that he noticed her, of course. He didn't even realize, much like Toji, her subtle hints. Not that it was easy for either of the Children, mind you. They were in a situation that did not allow for the reception of such subtle hints. They were in a position that required firm decisions and frank discussion.
Hikari was not yet at that point.
She stood at the wreckage of the city, and the deep chasm which penetrated the city's inner defenses, revealing the labyrinth below. The damage was impressive, as she noticed the several layers, each as thick as a city block was long, easily penetrated by the enemy's attack. To think something man created could defend against this, she considered, made her skin crawl. The concept that two cities of her homeland fell to a weapon invented to end all wars, only to proliferate in a mass game of Russian Roulette still set her on edge. But this, she considered, this required a strength she could never have. Enduring this would be impossible for someone like her.
Yet Toji and Shinji both endured it, and far worse, they endured trying to kill each other.
She did not yet know the specifics. Even being around Suzahara was a security breach in itself. The city stank with this horrid, inhuman flavor that would pit two friends against each other. There was no reward, no great honor or achievement for Shinji. There was no consolation for Toji's loss. Simply put, it was a battle that was erased from history, with no prize, and only penalties for playing.
She hated everything this city represented, but went along with this illusion of mankind's great achievements for the longest time. It was only after these last two battles that everything became so clear. None of humanity's achievements or virtues were represented here. There were only scars, and the frantic attempts for man to defend themselves against a threat they knew nothing of. Funny, she thought. After ten thousand years, and all of our great accomplishments, we were still afraid of the dark.
It had been a month, and over that time, all she wanted was to talk to Shinji. There was something so unsettling about this desire, but as minute by minute passed, her resolution became stronger. Or was it as the battle for Toji to lead a normal life was lost? She could not tell, as the two were intertwined.
Thankfully Aida was still there. While not the most honest or popular of the boys in class, he knew both of the victims. He served as Hikari's sounding board, regardless of the hour of night. His nocturnal habits made contact via instant messaging or phone only a few buttons away. Mostly, though, she found he served more as a reassuring voice, as her mother once did. "One day at a time," he would often tell her at the end of their late night phone calls. "I'm sure he'll be back tomorrow."
Asuka's change in behavior had also made the situation just one more degree difficult. The Second Child began to cling to her as though her survival depended on the attention of the brunette. It was just the same as how her own survival depended on Kensuke reassuring her the war would be over, or Shinji would return to provide some form of stable footing. Without the boy, Asuka, Toji, and practically the entire world didn't seem to make sense. It was during this time Horaki discovered the boy's role. He was a control group, or a standard to which the value of mankind was judged. The new students, particularly the polite, meek ones, usually were.
It was the end of the day when she first saw him. Squinting, Hikari tried to catch another look. After so long, she thought it was simply another transfer student who looked the same. They all seemed to look the same lately, either coming or going with the escalation of the war. But no, the class representative realized. This was the genuine item. This was Ikari.
"Sh... Shinji?" Hikari asked as she sped her pace along the courtyard of the junior high school. Ikari glanced up at her, but broke eye contact once he recognized the girl. He was in no mood to speak to her. "Shinji?" Horaki asked again, pressing both the recognition of his name and her existence. She found herself moving at an uncomfortable stride, realizing a jog or a full out sprint was better suited to cover the distance. Yet, she did not allow her feet to keep up. She had already given away too much, a collection of girls from her class staring at the two of them. They already suspected something.
How Shinji chose his words, he could never quite grasp. A simple "hello" would have been far better, he thought. "I... already talked to Suzahara," he blurted out, staring at his feet, body frozen. Hikari instantly turned to stone, mimicking the Child. Her mind replayed his first words in a month over and over again, making sure she did not misinterpret what he said. "I-I..." the boy stammered. "I... should leave."
"Shinji..." Hikari started. But the boy was slipping away, moving past her to the school building she never wanted to see again, to faces and places that stabbed at her brain mercilessly. "Shinji!" she repeated. Suddenly, she found herself walking to the boy's left, keeping pace as he tried to outrun her.
Horaki's hand reached out, taking Ikari's as he tried shoving her away. The stinging discomfort of close proximity amplified for a millisecond, but was gone soon after. It amused her for a moment, the boy shocked, stumbling for a moment as he tried to find his footing. While she had a little more grace, the tingling sensation moving up her hand to her shoulder did not help her motor skills.
Shinji could not say anything for the longest time, but finally blurted out, "Why?"
"I... we... uh," Hikari stuttered, her mind turning to gelatin. "We need... to talk..." She heard the sound of snickering only a few meters away. That was when the girls from before, huddled together in their tight-knit group, started babbling wild rumors invented on the spot. "Can we... go somewhere?" she pursued.
Shinji Ikari nodded. In all his life, no other gesture he had given was never as confident. There was something so unsettling about the dark circles under the girl's eyes, along with her actions. Then again, there were several things not right about his own recent experiences. He could not place where this idea came from, but somehow, talking to someone who had a level head when it came to what he did was just what he needed. With her, there would be no gushing over a giant killer robot with guns, no talks about being a brave, strong warrior, or belittling of his manhood. With her, he could expect some mocking as a subordinate, but he could also expect a firm, educated response to problems he needed help resolving.
It was highly likely she needed someone level-headed to talk to as well.
They found themselves tucked away in their classroom, taking two desks next to each other at random. Everyone was gone, their computers shut down for the evening. There was no imposition for taking an assigned seat. They looked at each other for hours on end. The sun was already beginning to set, and the doors to the school building locked when the first words finally came.
"I... I'm so tired," Shinji breathed. "I don't want to fight anymore."
Hikari nodded, annoyed that a sarcastic grin crossed her face as the tears welled up in her eyes. Of all the things the boy had to say, he had to say that. As he went on about what happened to him, where he was all this time, and the things he did, the brunette's stomach churned. The worst part was that he seemed so calm about it. How could he so easily express his absolute disgust and dread for what he was expected to do with a dead pan expression? It was like someone reciting their own death sentence in a disinterested monotone.
As he paused, unsure of what to say next, Hikari had to interject before she completely lost it. "Shin-ji... I," she blubbered. Closing her eyes for a moment, her face again gave that disgusting wry smile, all while her hands found his, gripping at his fingertips with a fierce desire never to let go. "Nothing makes sense!" she finally blurted out. "I... I can't stand it here!" She began to cry, but still went on with her rant. "It hurts! Everyone I knew... everything I remembered... it's just gone.. It's all being wiped away..."
Shinji was no longer in his blank, dead pan state. A tear or two slipped past his eyes, and his fingers instinctively clenched her hands in return. He never liked seeing people hurt, and the fact he had taken something so precious away from her made it worse. His discussion with Toji cleared up the social goings-on which the two of them should have realized from the start. Now the Child wished he never had that conversation, or even saw his former friend. It would have made everything that happened all the more easier.
The pair of lost students locked in the building for the night huddled into a corner, each leaning into the other's shoulder. There was very little time, each realized. The world, at the rate it was going, could have been destroyed the next day. The war had finally taught them how precious every second of their lives were. They would sleep later on, but for the time being, they needed to talk. Secrets, ideas, beliefs, and emotions all needed to come out, since each realized the only person who would understand them was sitting right at their side.
"Shinji?" Hikari asked as the clock read fifteen minutes past two.
"Yes, Hikari?" the boy replied.
"Just... stay..." she sighed, her eyes closing.
Shinji nodded sleepily, and rest his head against hers. "...Okay."
End of Chapter I
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