Sorry gang this is going to be god-awfully bad and if someone cough Lady K. d'Azrael, Sakurazukamori6, Nilahxapiel cough feels like taking it over or including it into a story I would only be pleased to see it used.

Basically it's just the thought that no one can go through soilitary confinement for almost 2 months without being changed somehow, Raito has been tortured here, We don't see it much in the comic but can you imagine, being alone, no computer, no books, no friends, no freedom for 50 days? I've been though this with books and the internet for 10 days and I nearly went nuts with boredom. Then to be taken out by your father and shot? Yikes...

Disorder.

Imprisonment, Day 20

I woke up that morning exhausted. This was becoming a regular occurrence for me and I hated it, I'm a creature of habit, good habits, and the thought of becoming a sloth was driving me nuts.

Oh that and being locked in a room for three going on four weeks.

Opening my eyes in a half slit to stare at the grey wall I made my schedule for the day.

wake up

piss

bitch to empty room in hopes the psychopath in control of said room listens.

eat

take nap

make pictures on wall with mind

piss again

take another nap

play a game of mental 'go' with self

bitch some more

eat again

go to sleep

"Well golly Raito, you've got the busy day ahead, you'd better get up" I muttered to myself before snuggling deeper into my thin blanket.

God what was I thinking...

Imprisonment Day 30

I've begun singing to myself. I know I know has to be the lamest thing possible but I've already spent the last week reciting as exact as my memory serves every play by Shakespeare in alphabetical order. I'm frighteningly accurate since L was kind enough to record my recital and check for accuracy. 80 which I think is pretty good overall. I'll have to re-read them when I get out to see what I missed.

But I never really liked Drama, I was more of a politics kind of guy if anything. But today, it's singing. Soft recital of every song I can remember, pulling as far back as elementary school days.

I have to,

I have to do this,

I have to because it's this or sleep and I'm starting to lose track of things. Dreams are getting too real, things I remember about Jung and Freud are starting to creep me out with their accuracy.

If I have any dreams about my mother I'm going to admit to this whole Kira bullshit just so I can get killed.

Imprisonment Day 40

I think L is starting to notice my poor sleep habits.

"Raito?" I faintly hear through the fog of sleep.

"nng..." I mumble in return.

"Raito you're sleeping on the floor again, I highly recommend that if you feel tired you should lay on the bed provided to you so you do not get ill." L's monotone voice droned.

"I don't wanna."

Wow, I've got the grand maturity of a three year old today. But then, I just wanted L to talk to me, he had ignored me for the last two or three days, I'm not sure since I've been losing track of time and he tells me the days, Maybe it's only been one, maybe I'm going crazy.

"... You don't 'Wanna'?" L repeated back at me, the slightest hint of surprise in his voice.

"I'm not sleepy" I state with a yawn. "I've been sleeping all day, I don't wanna sleep anymore."

I get silence, fucking silence, when I get out I swear I will play music constantly. I used to love the quiet.

"Tell me a story..."

more quiet, I held my breath and began to count, I wonder how many brain cells this would kill, I wonder if it mattered.

20

21

22

"What kind of story?" L asked

"Anything, I don't care I'm just..." lonely but like hell I'm saying that much "so bored..."

"As much as I would enjoy indulging you Raito, the Kira investigation is still happening and I have things to do, I indulged you yesterday with playing the Massey lectures so you could practice english."

This time it was my turn to think.

"Really?"

God why does it take so long for him to answer, I mean he's smart right, fucking perfectionist analytic bastard.

"Do you not remember? I played the talks by Stephen Lewis on the African Epidemic, and Alberto Manguel's The City of Words, dealing with ethnic issues."

Oh right, man I hate thinking about Politics and AIDS and racism sometimes, it's just so obvious what needs to be done and everyone is such an ass about doing it.

"That was yesterday?"

"Yes."

Maybe I am going crazy.

Imprisonment Day 50

"Raito, are you Kira"

"no"

"Raito are you Kira"

"no"

"Raito are you are Kira"

I don't know

am I?

Was I?

Will I?

What is I?

I wish I was dead.

Imprisonment Day 53

I awoke with a start as someone grabbed me and hauled me out of bed.

"What the hell!" I could hear my voice say with certain detachment from my body. struggling weakly as I hadn't moved in so long, I caught a glance of one of my fathers subordinates, Aizawa-san I think. A blindfold is placed over my eyes.

"L! L! What's going on? L?"

"Shut up" I hear Aizawa-san say roughly as he put the cuffs on me and shoves me blindly forward.

I'm tired, God I'm so tired, just let me sleep, and yet...

My heart pounds, what's happening, what could be happening, am I free? I'm scared...

I don't want to die.

"... Thank Goodness"

I can feel my heart pounding in the back of my throat, tight constricting, I don't know if I can breath, I think I need to throw up.

A blank. A blank. A blank.

Somewhere I hear L talk, explain, I think I answer. My father is crying, I'm alive, I'm innocent.

I can smell the stench of death all around me, the smell of two months of sweat and fear. Misa just urinated herself and has started shaking.

"D-Dad"

"Yea Son?" He answers, smiling back at me.

"Can you let me out I think I'm going to be a little sick."

My Dad still moves pretty fast for being over 45, to bad Misa already ruined the car, but I didn't want him to see me like that. Broken, tainted, afraid.

I take a few wobbly steps away from the vehicle once my handcuffs are off. Everything smells, the grass, the dirt, the pavement. The scent of the car exhaust brings up unbidden memories of gas stations late at night. I look up and see the soft hues of a new dawn just before the ground comes rushing at me and everything goes black.

I awake cold, everything is white and cold and unreal.

am I "... dead?"

"No, you are quite alive, simply dealing with stress, lack of exercise, nutritional deficiencies and a shock that I miscalculated your ability to handle. There was only a 10 probability you would react this strongly to the situation, but it's still a very solid 10 so I had a medical team waiting." L's Monotone voice replied from next to my head.

Turning my head I almost passed out again as L was hovering inches away from my face, inspecting me.

I did what came natural.

I Yawned right in his stupid face and hoped I had terrible morning breath.

Chained, Day 7

"Raito has changed, I am uncertain as to why. I fully realize there is the possibility to minute character differences after prolonged confinement with the possibility of one's mortality hanging in the balance. Raito I'm sure would have deduced as well the possibility of his earlier half confession an attempt by Kira to use him to derail the investigation however after my test I am 99.9 certain this is not the case however with Raito's reasoning skills he may have felt much like a prisoner on death row with a Kira induced heart attack awaiting him or my pronouncement of guilt at any moment. Thus explaining some changes as many prisoners experience often breif life altering epiphanies when facing with a prolonged death. However I do not think Raito would be quite as susceptible to that as them. Granted there was the 1 chance that Raito would experience some kind of psychological break during the confinement as all humans are pack creatures and tend to shy away from isolation. However if Raito was Kira then the stress is simply based on the possibility of being discovered by me which would amplify the break in a different manner, however I feel this is only a 5.23 possibility seeing as Yagami-san is still alive and Raito's reaction in the car when faced with his own death..."

L's mind was abuzz as his eyes flicked over to his prisoner from behind his computer screen.

L hated Psychology, of all the sciences it was on one hand the simplest and on the other the most difficult. All it took was one person to be different, or to lie convincingly, or to lie to themselves convincingly and all the theories on human psyche were then gone to pot because you cant mesh two people into the exact same mental mold.

Both Nature and Nurture do not permit it.

Oh he could read people, analyze them and follow them and get his theories, as any detective could. But he still didn't like it, it just wasn't solid enough, there was no hard evidence to ever prove what was going on in someone else's head.

Turning back to his computer screen L began going back once again through all the data compiled to date. He was in the midst of making a new program to crawl through internet databases and pull up any non-repeated information, posts, blogs or websites regarding Kira or heart attack victims. Slowly there was a pattern forming, some big names but it wasn't Kira's MO. And these men were old and in positions of high stress, but at the same time Japanese people as a race in general don't have a history of heart diseases. So each one can be called into question.

Eyes dashing along the screen L actually gave a proper jump when the silence of the room was interrupted with a very loud, hollow "THUNK" The team all jumped to their feet and even Watari stepped in from the other room at the strange noise.

Raito jumped up just as fast as the others and was now shifting his weight back and fourth while pressing a palm to his head, the other clenched in a fist at his side.

"I'm okay" He said just as it slowly dawned on L.

Raito had fallen asleep at the computer and hit his head on the desk.

L's lips curled into some sort of strange smile as he stared at Raito. Sensing his amusement Raito glared at L.

"Raito, are you okay?" His father asked,

Yagami-san was concerned for his son, noticing how when he went home for the night Raito would be sleeping in the desk by the ever awake L. His patience for the detective was on it's last straw having come in that morning to see his son sleeping at the detective feet like some dog. Too exhausted and beat down to force the detective to do something as simple as go to an actual bed.

"Yah Dad, don't worry I'm fine, I must be catching something, I got lots of sleep last night but I'm just still really tired." Raito said while slightly moving our of his fathers reach.

Yagami-san shot one last look at L who was ignoring them in favour of his laptop before returning to his own workstation.

L knew that Yagami-san was blaming him for his son's exhaustion, However L felt he had been exceptionally curtious to Raito especially given the circumstances. During his observation Raito had not seemed like a lazy individual. Existing throughout hight-school and college on 3-5 hours of sleep between studying, however as prior to his release he had gotten into the habit of sleeping for extended periods of time. 10,12 sometimes even 16 hours of sleep. L was pushing Raito to break these habits, but he imagined Raito, having been an active teen, was probably suffering from a severe lack of vitimin D since he had not really seen natural sunlight for well over two months.

"I think" L started in his slow manner of calculated speech, reading ever nuance of a reaction from Raito and the rest of the team. "Tomorrow will be a day off, if it's sunny"

Raito just stared at L causing him to put his thumb to his mouth in concerned annoyance.

"Could he..." L thought to himself running through how Raito had been reacting as of late.

Irritability or inappropriate outbursts of anger? Well Raito attacked L so check.

Avoidance? Well Raito has been shying away from his father and practically had a fit (Or at least as much of a fit as he could) when Aizawa startled him the other day.

maybe...

"I believe Raito is still recovering from his time incarcerated and needs a little time to himself. Exercise and sunlight I think would be the optimal solution, and since I want to observe him at all times at the moment then I will have to take that time off, there for, everyone should have this liberty to have a little time off. I think tomorrow we have been put at a bit of a standstill as Kira has been laying low for the last few weeks I feel one day will not adversely affect the case too drastically. Let's finish up tonight so we're well rested for our early time off tomorrow."

Yagami-san nodded stiffly, while a hard worker and wanting to solve the case and clear his son as soon as possible his wife, daughter, and doctor had all been bothering him to take some time off. Unlike Raito who increased his amount of sleeping during his confinement, Yagami-san had essentially spent the time not sleeping and was on the brink of a second heart attack.

"Good night gentlemen." L concluded dismissivly turning his back upon the rest of the team leaving no room for argument. Raito stared sleepily at his computer screen feeling a pinch of guilt. On one hand he wanted his father to go home and rest, he could only imagine how much stress his Dad was under and wanted him to be healthy. On the other hand the day was for his sake, and as much as he wanted to help L he was probably slowing the super detective down.

"God what's wrong with me, I wish I could just snap out of this." Raito thought dejectedly "I wish I were dead"

Raito's head snapped up at that sudden invasive thought that had floated into his brain.

"What!?" He mentally chided himself "I am not some depressed teen, I've got a good life here, an opportunity to work with the worlds greatest detective, helping catch the worlds greatest killer. My name will go down in history! I don't want to die, I want to be alive!"

L watched Raito curiously from the corner of his eye. Maybe this is why he was so interested in the younger man, his face, when he thought you were looking at him it was a schooled face of a professional actor. Raito's looks could certainly put him on the big screen, it was almost a shame he decided to get into detectivism, but L imagined his father would disown him if he got into Acting and fell short of Hollywood. But when Raito thought no one saw him you could practically see the conversations in his head. Sleepy, dejected, depressed for but a second and then so very angry and determined. L's biting on his thumb increased slightly as he saw that flash of resolve and pride in Raito's eyes.

"What did you decide Raito?" L interjected, unable to keep from prying into the boys thoughts.

A quarter second of fear crossed Raito's face before the impassive mask was slapped back on.

"What?"

"You looked like you had come to a conclusion on something, did you discover some evidence or simply decide what to have for dessert tonight?"

Raito blinked slowly. "I can't remember what exactly I was thinking any longer since you startled whatever it was out of my head, but I imagine it was significantly less important then evidence, if I've forgotten it, but more important then dessert, since unlike you, I was the one thinking it."

L smirked, "More important then dessert? Why that is second only to possible world conquest, are you sure you're not Kira?" L jibed in a voice low enough that Raito's father couldn't hear him.

"I don't know if the caliber of your jests are appropriate given the situation L, at least wait until the others are gone before you start laying into me, after all if I'm going to admit to being the greatest killer of all time, it's not something I'd admit in front of my father unless I want to get shot" Raito stated with mock anger. L and Raito were discovering that the longer they were together the more morbid their jests were becoming. They attempted at least to keep it between the two of them least anyone on the team, Watari included, tried to put them in the loony bin as possibly psychopaths.

"So are you saying you'll admit to being Kira so long as your father is not present?"

"And when the moon is discovered to be made out of a fine blue cheese, yes"

"I'll work on your father first, the cheese will have to wait."

Blurrr I have very little to nothing from this point out so if someone want's to yanno, co-write or something that be fancy.