Death comes to us all

by Myranya

This is my answer to the Potterotica ‘Mythical Mess’ challenge. In short, Professor Snape somehow incapacitates or kills what we think of as a mythical figure, and must take over their duties until they are well or a replacement is found. I know this chal

1. A small slip

This is my answer to the Potterotica 'Mythical Mess' challenge. In short, Professor Snape somehow incapacitates or kills (what we think of as) a mythical figure, and must take over their duties until they are well or a replacement is found. I know this challenge was due last fall but I'm a slow writer, but I seem to remember JKR originally intended to release the entire series in seven years so I don't feel too bad ;)

Pairing: I don't think I'll get that far in this fic, but Hermione will help him (as per the challenge requirements).

Rating: PG-13 I guess for cussing.

Warnings: Character death. Well, sorta. Maybe. Whatever.

Category: Humor, Crossovers

Disclaimer: Most of the characters belong to JK Rowling. Readers of Terry Pratchett's Discworld will also find the mythical figure to be, let's say, QUITE FAMILIAR And yes, I'm aware others have taken over for him in the past, however I still thought Snape should have a stab at it.

1) A Small Slip.

Professor Severus Snape was not having a good day. First, a second-year Hufflepuff had spilled her essence of rose and his class smelled like a perfume shop, to the great delight of every student in the school. Normally, all students except for his own Slytherins knew well enough to stay away from his dungeons unless they had classes, however during lunch dozens of students had found some excuse to drop by and make comments like "Smells nice," or such like. He knew they did it just to spite him, however even he could not give them all a detention for making an –in and by itself- totally innocuous comment.

Then after lunch it had been seventh year Advanced Potions. Other years, sixth and seventh year Advanced Potions were his favorite, the only classes he enjoyed teaching. The dunderheads weeded out by his strict policy not to take anyone who didn't score at least an O on their OWLs, he was left with students he could actually teach something useful. Normally, that was.

For a year and a half ago, in a moment of insanity, he had let Albus, Minerva and Pomona talk him into accepting two students who had not made the cut. He had regretted that moment of weakness many times since and he was not sure what was worse; dealing with Potter's insolence or Longbottom's clumsiness. Probably the latter, for he had to admit at least Potter might scrape by the NEWTs. The boy had worked as hard as he seemed capable of since he found out Potions was a requirement for the Auror program and was given the chance to take the course even with the barely passing grade on his OWL.

Longbottom was as hopeless as ever. It was hard to believe the reports of Minerva and Filius that the boy had improved remarkably in his other classes once he'd received a wand that suited him after the battle at the Ministry of Magic at the end of his fifth year. In Potions, however, a wand was rarely needed and thus there was no miraculous improvement either, no matter how badly the boy needed the subject for his studies in Herbology. Severus fully expected the boy to fail his NEWTs and in the process shatter Severus' perfect record of passing every student who had taken the final exams.

On top of all that, the students were talking excitedly about the upcoming Hogsmeade weekend, this Saturday. Severus had been mostly confined to the castle since he was exposed as a spy just prior to the Christmas holidays and now, four months later, he was starting to understand how Black must have felt, cooped up at Grimmauld Place. He wouldn't mind going out for a stroll and a bit of shopping himself, and he was hardly defenseless, but Albus would not hear of it.

So when Longbottom managed to spill his potion once again, the second time in as many weeks, and simply stood there looking down at the slimy, vicious mess, it was hardly surprising he lost his temper and turned on the boy, fully intending to give him detention for an entire week. Or at least the entire weekend, yes, that would be even better.

That's when everything suddenly happened at once. The door burst open and a figure in a black cloak stepped through, wand out. "Avada Kedavra!" Severus somehow had time to recognise Mcnair's voice but he did not manage to get his wand out before the beam of green light hit him. He fell to the floor, and that should have been it, but for some reason he was still well aware of what was going on around him. Startled voices rang out from all through the classroom, and curses flew –Potter's first, he noted, but Malfoy was right behind him, followed immediately by the others. Then the movement around him seemed to slow down and he became aware of more cursing, of a rather non-magical nature, from behind him.

DAMN.

He got up, looked around and the first thing he saw was a large, white horse with an ornate saddle and bridle, standing in the middle of his classroom. Okay, so maybe he had managed to duck the curse but he had hit his head instead. The horse certainly looked real though as it dropped its head to sniff at… a black-robed skeleton, sitting in the puddle of Longbottom's spilled potion, clutching its leg? And next to the figure a large scythe seemed to be lying on the floor.

"Eh?" he managed, rather less eloquently than usual.

IT SEEMS I HAVE SLIPPED.

That much was obvious, but what was he supposed to say? Somehow it seemed an apology was in order. "Eh, sorry about that. I'll make sure to give Longbottom a detention. Are you al right?"

The figure –Severus refused to acknowledge the persistent little voice in his head that kept trying to give the figure a name- carefully probed the leg he had been holding with long, skeletal fingers.

I AM AFRAID I HAVE SUSTAINED A FRACTURE IN MY TIBIA.

Death has broken his leg, the little voice kept saying. "Let me help you to the infirmary," Severus said instead. "I am sure our nurse, Madam Pomfrey, will have you on your feet in no time."

I DOUBT SHE WILL BE ABLE TO SEE ME, BUT THANK YOU FOR THE OFFER, the skeleton said.

To see him? Well, of course, here he was looking at a skeleton with a broken leg, and a big, white horse, and not one of his students had made any comment whatsoever. Severus looked around to see them all frozen –or almost frozen; they moved very, very slowly- clustered near the door where Mcnair was crumpled on the floor, some approaching him, but even those apparently failing to notice the skeleton. Granger even managed to walk straight through the horse, somehow. She wasn't looking directly at him, either, but rather at the floor. He looked down.

"Oh."

Well duh, the little voice said. Why else would you be able to see Death? "Is there anything I can do for you?" Severus asked instead.

I DOUBT IT. MAGIC DOES NOT USUALLY AFFECT ME. AND YOU MIGHT FIND IT HARD TO CAST A SPELL, IN YOUR STATE AS IT WERE.

With a sigh, Severus gave up trying to ignore the facts. "I'm dead, am I not?"

The skeleton –no, Death, he might as well stop to avoid naming him now- seemed to hesitate. He reached into his robes with one hand and pulled out an hourglass, top bulb quite empty. He then looked down at the discarded scythe. He made as to get up, cursed, and sat down again.

SORT OF. I MEAN, YOU WILL BE WHEN I CAN GET OVER THERE, BUT THAT SEEMS TO BE A BIT OF A PROBLEM AT THE MOMENT.

Severus didn't know whether to laugh, scream or run. But laughing didn't seem appropriate as he was increasingly certain this was for real and not some ridiculous hallucination, screaming just wasn't his style and he doubted that running would work, in the end. He seemed to be connected to his body by a short, pale blue cord and it didn't give when he gave it an experimental tug.

"So what do I do, just sit here until you manage to get up?"

Once again Death hesitated. He reached into his robes again, pulling out two more hourglasses.

PERHAPS THERE IS SOMETHING YOU CAN DO AFTER ALL. CAN YOU RIDE A HORSE?

"What?"

THERE ARE TWO OTHER SOULS THAT NEED TO BE HARVESTED TODAY. SINCE I SEEM TO BE INDISPOSED, PERHAPS YOU COULD HARVEST THEM FOR ME? THERE IS REALLY NOTHING TO IT, BINKY –THAT'S THE HORSE'S NAME- WILL SEE TO IT YOU GET TO THE RIGHT PLACE, ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS BRING THE SCYTHE DOWN AT THE RIGHT MOMENT. AND AVOID ANY PUDDLES, OF COURSE.

"You want me to… to take over for you?" Severus asked incredulously. He was too astonished to even comment on the ridiculous name of the horse.

SOMEONE MUST. AND I DID SLIP IN YOUR CLASSROOM

From somewhere, his Slytherin senses kicked in. Severus looked down at his body and gestured. "Say I do, what is in it for me? Should I 'harvest' myself as well? I do not think I like that."

The blue lights in Death's eyes twinkled, reminding Severus uncomfortably of Albus. AH YES, A TRUE SLYTHERIN. NO, YOU CANNOT DO THAT YOURSELF. YOU WILL HAVE TO GO BACK TO YOUR BODY FOR NOW. YOU WILL STILL BE ABLE TO SEE BINKY AND ME, OF COURSE, BUT YOU WILL BE ABLE TO MOVE AROUND FREELY. YOU WILL BE ABLE TO HELP ME TO A MORE COMFORTABLE PLACE TO REST WHILE MY LEG HEALS, AND YOU WILL BE ABLE TO DO THE DUTY.

Before he could ask anything else, the perspective of the room changed slightly, and Severus found himself on the floor. Everyone was moving at normal speed again, and sound had returned. Miss Granger knelt next to him, her wand out and tears in her eyes. She started as he moved.

"Sir, Professor, are you al right, I thought I saw…" she stammered.

"Never mind what you saw, Miss Granger," he said as he propped himself up on an elbow and surveyed the room.

Mcnair was of no concern, lying where he had seen him earlier, wrapped tightly in magical ropes, surrounded by most of the students. The door was open; no doubt someone had already gone to summon the Headmaster. Behind him, the horse snorted.

"Please don't move, sir," Miss Granger said, concern in her voice.

"I'm fine, Miss Granger." Okay, so that was a lie, but he was well enough for the moment. He sat up and turned, ignoring her protests, to see Death's horse start to nibble on some potions ingredients that were left on one of the tables. "Hey, don't do that!" he snarled, the last thing he needed was for the nag to get poisoned or something.

"Sir?" Miss Granger asked worriedly as she reached out, trying to hold him down. "Please, let me help you, don't move too fast."

"Do you know anything about horses, Miss Granger?" he asked without thinking about it.

"Horses?" she asked, frowning, and he realised his mistake.

"Never mind, just let me get up," he snapped.

"I think it is better if you don't, sir. Madam Pomfrey will be here soon," Granger said. Behind her, the horse had thankfully given up on the potions ingredients and was now standing patiently waiting for him. Death was leaning against Longbottom's desk and seemed to be content to wait as well. Still, he needed to get the students out of the room before he was going to do anything about either.

"There is nothing Madam Pomfrey can do for me," he snarled. Well, that was true enough. "I think it is obvious class is over for today, as soon as the Headmaster comes and takes care of him, I want everyone out of here. Now leave me alone."

Why did he even try? He should have known by now Miss Granger would not leave him under these circumstances. He could probably take a thousand points from Gryffindor and give her detention for the rest of the year and she'd still be stubborn enough to remain. And to make matters worse, in spite of the din the other students were making, Malfoy had heard him and was approaching him too.

"Sir, you're al right! I saw…"

"Never mind what you saw," he said again, although with a lot less venom in his voice than when he had addressed Granger. Then he started as Malfoy walked straight up to the scythe. "Don't step on that!" he yelled.

Malfoy stopped, blinked, and looked at the few scattered ingredients that had dropped onto the floor as well, all harmless as could be. "Are you al right, sir?"

Severus wasn't sure the scythe would harm anyone who wasn't dead, but he could not take the risk. "I'm fine. Just… I just don't want anyone to slip or anything. Better stay out of the way of the spilled potion and ingredients," he added lamely.

"I think you did hit your head, sir," Granger insisted.

"All the more reason to prevent any further accidents," he remarked scathingly. Then, ignoring her and Malfoy both, he got up and manoeuvred himself in between them and the scythe, the horse and Death. "Since you see I can still walk on my own, perhaps you can make yourself useful by cleaning up that mess over there," he gestured at a pile of spilled beetle eyes near his own desk –and well away from Longbottom's.

With a shrug and a sigh, Granger turned. However, Malfoy was still watching him.

"Mr Malfoy, please check on the remaining cauldrons and see that nothing is going to explode," he instructed.

Malfoy nodded briskly and turned, and Severus bend down lightning fast and swiped the scythe off the floor.

Not quick enough, it seemed, for when he straightened he found Miss Granger starting in his direction. "Sir?"

He stood up straight, making sure he turned his hand so it would not be obvious he held an invisible-to her- handle, and drew a deep breath. "Miss Granger, I said before, I am fine. Now please clean up the rest of this mess before a real accident happens."

The rest of the students were, by now, staring at him too, whispering among themselves. "Either keep your eyes on the Death Eater," he said, "Or get out of here. Oh, and Longbottom, detention. The entire weekend."

"Yes, yes sir," Longbottom stuttered.

Potter looked as if he would protest, then turned to watch Mcnair instead. Sometimes the boy could be almost sensible. He didn't really think Severus would forget about the detention just because Mcnair had come in and tried to kill him? Okay, had killed him, technically. That didn't change the fact Longbottom was a clumsy oaf and deserved every bit of the detention he would get.

"The cauldrons are all secure," Malfoy reported. "Well, apart from Longbottom's, of course."

"Of course," he smirked, thanking the boy with a nod. "Five points for Slytherin for your help."

Stalking through the classroom towards the front, he carried the scythe and, pretending to look at something on a shelf among the rare ingredients he managed to prop it up against the wall, well out of the path of the students. Malfoy looked at him with a frown, but he wasn't a busybody like Granger and he did not comment.

Running footsteps and shouts in the corridor outside heralded the arrival of Albus, Poppy and Minerva, as well as Miss Brown, Miss Abbott, and Mr Goldstein.

"Severus!" relief was evident in Albus' voice. "I was afraid when I heard Miss Abbott's report I would find you in a considerable less vital state."

"As you can see, I am fine," Severus said shortly. He also noticed that with the arrival of the Headmaster the students had all grown quiet. Once his own presence would've had the same effect, but they'd kept talking among themselves until this moment.

Poppy stepped up to him, wand out. "Are you al right?"

He stepped back, not sure what she would find if she were to try any diagnostic spells on him. Would her wand show him as being dead? He tried to concentrate and feel whether his heart was beating normally. "I'm fine. Better take a look at him, for I think he is not," he gestured at Mcnair's still form.

Poppy frowned. She could be fussy as a mother hen at the best of times.

"Poppy, please. I didn't manage to see all of it, but I believe everyone in the room hit him with one or two curses at least. I would rather he did not die in my classroom, the Ministry likes to make my life difficult enough as it is." Not that he really worried about Mcnair dying; he didn't know how he knew but he was sure the man had some time left yet.

Reluctantly, Poppy knelt next to the Death Eater. The students backed off only a little. At Poppy's request they made the magical ropes disappear, but every last student kept their wand out and Minerva had hers trained on the Death Eater as well. Only Albus seemed unconcerned, apparently trusting the man would not get up. Poppy pulled the heavy, black cloak back and hissed. A cheer went up from among the students. Severus glanced over to see a mass of boils, mould and hair growing all over the man's skin, eyes swollen shut, teeth a foot long, nose flattened like a pug, and that was only the first glimpse he got.

"Merlin, that will take some time to undo," Poppy said. "Or even to get him to the point where they can identify him."

Of course, no one else would know who it was.

"It's Walden Mcnair," Severus growled. "I recognised his voice when he cursed me –tried to curse me."

"Are you sure? Because I don't… I don't think there is any other way to tell," Poppy said.

"I am sure."

Merlin, would they just hurry up and go? He had to help a skeleton off the floor, and then… he didn't even want to think of that.

"Perhaps it is best if the students were to go back to their dormitories," he suggested. "Today's lesson is cancelled, of course, and I think it is clear Mr Mcnair is not going anywhere."

Strangely enough, for once, Minerva agreed with him. She nodded, to the chagrin of most of the students. Great, normally they couldn't wait to get out of here, but turn the place into a battleground and they all wanted to stay. Only Longbottom eagerly turned to his desk.

"You can get your things later. Get out," Severus instructed.

Longbottom fled, followed at a much slower pace by most of the other students. Malfoy lingered behind and so, unsurprisingly, did Granger.

Normally, he wouldn't have minded if Malfoy wanted to remain behind, the boy knew well enough not to get in the way, but this was one thing he couldn't explain. And Granger, she really was a busybody. He started to berate them for not following his orders when he was interrupted by Filch, leading in two Aurors. One of them was Tonks, the other he did not know.

"Severus! I'm glad you're al right!"

"I'm fine," he growled. This was getting old fast. And he needed people to get out of here, not more people coming in.

"They got him good," the Auror Severus didn't know commented. "Who is it?"

"Walden Mcnair," Severus said again for his benefit.

"Wow," Tonks said as she took a good look at the downed man. "Who did that?"

"The entire class, I believe," Severus replied.

Tonks grinned widely. "Wicked. I haven't seen anyone looking like that for years."

"You can transfer him to St Mungo's," Poppy said. "He's stable, however I think it may be while before he can stand trial."

"No problem," the second Auror said. "We'll keep a real close eye on him, eh, Tonks?"

"You betcha. I'd think every Auror in the force will want to have a chance to watch him while he's looking like this," she agreed.

Yes, fine, now take him and get out of here already! Fortunately, Tonks took a quill out of her pocket and tapped it with her wand. "Portus." Moments later, the three of them disappeared.

"Well, that ended rather well," Albus said as the two Aurors and the Death Eater were gone. "I suggest we all go to my office and you tell us what happened, if you are up to it."

"Of course, just let me clean up here. I will be right along," Severus said smoothly.

"It seems to me Miss Granger and Mr Malfoy have already taken care of the worst mess," Minerva pointed out.

Great, another Gryffindor busybody. "I must still check for myself. Some ingredients can be quite volatile when spilled or accidentally mixed, as I am sure you know."

Miss Granger looked at him with a frown. No doubt she knew that anything spilled in such a manner would long have exploded by now, and he was also certain she and Mr Malfoy would have recognised any serious threat. But Minerva's own Potions classes had been a long time ago, and she swallowed his excuse, nodding briskly.

"I would still like to check you out in the infirmary," Poppy said before leaving. "Just in case."

"Al right!" he almost yelled. "I will stop by after I report to Albus." Anything to get them out of here, at least it gave him some time to come up with an excuse. Granger gave him a weird look again, but when none of the adults protested she had to leave with them, as did Malfoy. Thank Merlin, finally.

He turned towards Death. And the horse. "I apologize it took so long to get rid of them."

NO PROBLEM, Death said amicably.

"Now what do I do? I suppose that now I am in my body, there is still no chance a healing spell on your leg will work?" He ignored the fact that it might not be a good plan for Death to get back on his feet too soon –he would probably be truly dead as soon as Death was able to get back to his duties. However, the alternative was quite unsettling as well. Dying certainly was a lot less complicated and since it had technically happened already it seemed silly to avoid it.

YOU CAN TRY, OF COURSE. HOWEVER AS I MENTIONED BEFORE, MAGIC DOESN'T USUALLY WORK ON ME.

"I will try all the same, if you don't mind." Severus walked over to where Death was sitting and tapped the bone with his wand. "Sanos Ossis."

Nothing.

I AM SORRY. YOU SEEM TO BE STUCK WITH THE DUTY FOR NOW.

Severus sighed. "So what exactly is it you want me to do?"

Death reached into his robes for the two hourglasses and held them out. TAKE THESE. THEN TAKE THE HORSE, HE KNOWS WHERE TO GO. WHEN THE TIME COMES, YOU USE THE SCYTHE. YOU HAVE SEEN THE CORD. THAT IS THE MOST IMPORTANT PART; ANYTHING ELSE WILL TAKE CARE OF ITSELF. YOU ONLY HAVE TO DO EARTH. THERE IS… ANOTHER PLACE, BUT SOMEONE WILL PROBABLY STEP IN WHEN I DON'T SHOW UP. THEY HAVE MANAGED BEFORE.

"And how am I supposed to do all that without being seen?" Severus asked acidly.

WHEN YOU'RE OUT ON THE DUTY, PEOPLE WON'T SEE YOU. WELL, MOST PEOPLE WON'T. IN… THE OTHER PLACE WIZARDS CAN SEE ME, BUT HERE MY EXISTENCE DOES NOT SEEM TO BE A PART OF WIZARD LORE. HOWEVER, SOME PEOPLE CAN BE MORE OBSERVANT THAN OTHERS, LIKE THOSE OF FEEBLE MIND OR VERY SMALL CHILDREN. AND CATS, CATS WILL SEE YOU.

"Cats?" he asked incredulously.

YES, CATS. I'M RATHER FOND OF THEM MYSELF, BUT YOU MUST BE CAREFUL AROUND THEM IF YOU DO NOT WANT PEOPLE TO NOTICE THEIR APPARENTLY STRANGE BEHAVIOUR.

"Alright, I suppose I can handle that. Now where would you like me to take you? The guest quarters are on the fourth floor, and halfway through the school, I'm afraid that is out of the question." He seemed to be quite visible while he was here in the castle, and with his luck, there would be a guest –a living guest- dropping in the moment he had Death installed. A thought dawned on him. "I could take you to my quarters."

I DO NOT WANT TO IMPOSE ON YOU, Death replied.

"It's no bother, really." Or no more than this entire deal was, anyhow. It was the only place he could be sure no one would enter.

THEN I WILL ACCEPT YOUR HOSPITALITY

"I guess a Mobilicorpus spell will not work either," Severus grumbled, and when that did indeed turn out to be the case, he bend over, ready to pick the injured Death up and help him to his quarters the Muggle way. "How did you manage to break your leg anyhow? I thought that being Death you would be immune to such things."

A gasp came from behind him. "I knew something was wrong."

He turned around as if stung, wand out, and barely stopped himself from cursing Miss Granger, who stood just inside the door. "Miss Granger. What are you doing here?"

"I… I couldn't just leave you here. Everyone else might believe you're just fine, but I knew you weren't."

"Enlighten me, how did you reach that conclusion?" he asked scathingly, in a last resort hoping to call her bluff, although he feared it was a lost cause.

"You've been acting strange since you woke up, talking nonsense, picking up invisible items from the floor, and now you're holding a conversation with someone who isn't there that makes no sense at all. I would think I should warn Madam Pomfrey, except if you'd really hit your head I don't think you could've managed to pick up whatever that invisible object was, or turn around so quickly without getting dizzy. So whatever it is it isn't in your head, it's real. Were you really talking to Death, sir?"

For once in his life –or actually for the second time in the really short period he'd been dead- Severus didn't know what to say. He looked around at Death, looking for help.

SHE IS RATHER PERSISTANT, IS SHE NOT? PERHAPS YOUR FIRST IMPULSE TO ASK HER FOR HELP WITH THE HORSE WASN'T SO BAD. I DOUBT YOU WILL GET RID OF HER EASILY.

That was not the advice he'd been looking for. And he hadn't meant to ask her for help, he'd just wanted someone, anyone, to make sure that bloody horse didn't get itself poisoned on top of everything else. "Miss Granger, you are the one who is being ridiculous. I assure you I am fine. Now for the last time, get out of here."

Instead of leaving, she slowly came forward, taking in the scene in front of her. She looked down at the rather slippery mess of Longbottom's spilled potion.

"Yes, it does sound ridiculous, doesn't it, sir? But I think… I think I can see what happened. It does make sense now. We all saw the curse hit you, but somehow Death slipped in Neville's potion, and he… missed. Am I right, sir?"

Severus glanced at Death again, who shrugged.

TOLD YOU.

He gave up. However, there was no need to tell her everything. He wasn't sure how she would react if she learned he was technically dead, and if there was one thing he wanted to deal with even less than with Miss Granger the Know-It-All, it was Miss Granger upset.

"Basically, yes. So now that you know, perhaps you can assist me in moving Death to my quarters, where he will be more comfortable while he is healing."

To her credit, she did not suggest using a spell. He wasn't sure if she'd been listening in long enough or if she'd simply assumed he would have thought of that, but it was a blessing either way.

"Eh, how can I help you move him when I can't see him, sir?" she asked instead.

Now that was a good question. Severus glanced at Death.

THAT IS UP TO YOU NOW, Death said. SINCE YOU HAVE TAKEN THE DUTY, YOU CAN DECIDE TO MAKE PEOPLE SEE YOU, ME, AND THE HORSE.

"And, pray tell, how do I do that? Is there a spell I use?" Severus asked, using the most scathing tones he could manage to hide the fact he felt rather out of his dept.

Death seemed puzzled at the question. YOU JUST DO. YOU THINK IT AND MAKE IT SO.

Somewhat doubtful, Severus concentrated. Miss Granger should be able to see it all. And that was supposed to work? Yeah right.

A small gasp came from Miss Granger and Severus saw she was now looking directly at Death. Al right, so it had worked.

"Enough of this dawdling," he said, and leaned over Death once again. Miss Granger stepped up to his other side and together they lifted Death to his feet. He was surprisingly heavy for a skeleton.

Severus lead the way, trying to ignore the very bony feeling of the arm around his neck, out of the classroom, into the corridor, and a little way down the hall. For a moment he worried about someone seeing them, then he changed that thought to, no one will see us. And hoped it worked.

Maybe it did or maybe it didn't, they didn't meet anyone on the short stretch to his quarters to put it to the test. At a blank patch of the stone he stopped and put his hand on the stone. "Skiving Snackbox."

The door opened and he stepped forward to enter, but Miss Granger seemed frozen in place, seemingly astonished. He glared at her.

"Skiving…" she managed. "I never would have guessed."

He sighed. "That is the point of setting a password, I believe. If I wanted everyone to come visit me at inopportune times, like our Headmaster seems to prefer, I would use something easier."

"You have a point," she conceded.

His only reply was a snort. They went in, through the living room and, since it seemed the most logical place, into the bedroom beyond. He would transfigure the couch for his own use, if he still needed sleep at all.

They installed Death in the bed, injured leg propped up on a pillow.

"Is there anything else you need?" he inquired. "Normally I would say you could summon the house-elves, however I doubt they will be able to see you."

I DO NOT REQUIRE ANY SUSTENANCE, Death said. BUT SOMETHING TO READ WOULD BE NICE.

Severus had a decently filled bookcase in the living room, but he was not sure what to offer Death. And he certainly wasn't going to call out every bloody title he owned. He stalked into the living room, picked out a few books on a variety of subjects –a couple novels, a historical piece, a book on Muggle/Wizard relations in Asia, and an art catalogue from the British Museum, and put them on the bedside table.

"I hope there's something in there that will interest you," he said, quite insincerely. He didn't care at all; he just wanted to get out of here and get this damn duty taken care of.

I AM SURE IT WILL. THANK YOU.

Severus caught Granger trying to read the titles of the books he had brought. "Then we will leave you for the time being," he said pointedly.

Granger started and followed him with a brief nod to Death, who waved at her.