Hey my beautiful babes! I haven't posted anything in a while because well, life is life, but I'm back with a short one shot. I literally just got the idea in my head about what might have happened after Alison discovered that Ben lied about Emily sleeping with him. I wont go in to too much because I don't want to spoil the story, but I'll explain my thought process at the end and dissect a few bits. Lo xxx
Alison walks through the canteen, heading straight to the table she and the girls always sit at. She can see that they're talking about something and Emily, sweet innocent Emily, looks uncomfortable about something. It instantly rubs Alison up the wrong way, but she plasters on her usual smile and keeps her poker face on.
'Why didn't you tell us!?' she hears Hanna asking excitedly, as she practically bounces on the seat. Alison wants to roll her eyes at the childish behaviour, but curiosity gets the better of her. What had Emily just told them? She anxiously prays that it wasn't the one secret she shares with her mermaid. The one guilty pleasure that Alison shamelessly allows herself to dip in to every now and again.
'Tell us what?' she finds herself asking, her smile still plastered on her face as she sat in the seat beside Hanna.
'Ben is telling people we had sex' Emily states somewhat casually, though Alison can see how squirrelly the swimmer is about the situation. It makes her uncomfortable, and that alone makes Alison's own anger soar. Seeing anything but Emily happy and carefree makes her want to tear a bitch a new asshole.
'What?' Spencer asks in shock as she slowly lowers herself into the seat beside Alison.
'And he's still breathing because?' Alison finds herself growling at the same time, her temper getting the better of her, because anything concerning Emily is dangerous territory for her. For the most part, she is able to control herself, but times like this when she can clearly see that Emily is hurting, she finds herself losing control. She still can't pin point what it is about the brunette, but Alison constantly finds herself battling with the need to hold her close and never let her go, and the urge to push her as far away as possible. She can feel Emily's eyes on her, the silent brooding from her girl that makes Alison feel as though she's about to turn in to mush. She can see that flicker of lust that flickers through Emily's eyes, before it's pushed away all together, because Alison knows all too well that the other girl is terrified of her feelings, mostly because of the way Alison acts regarding them. She knows that she isn't fair to the swimmer. She knows that she's causing Emily to be ashamed of who she is, rather than encouraging her to be her best self, but if she's honest, Alison isn't ready for other's to know that part of the other girl yet. That one special part of Emily that is reserved solely for her, is the most special thing in her life. The way Emily looks at her when they're alone, and Alison actually allows them to go to that part of their relationship, is the most magical feeling ever. She doesn't want anyone else to ruin that for her.
'Because it's true' Aria answers slowly and uneasily, clearly unsure as to the truth of the matter and also in tune with Alison's mood. These words fill Alison with an ice cold feeling in her veins. In that moment she wants to get up and find Ben, rip his balls off and shove them down his throat. How dare he touch her Emily! How dare he defile her with his clumsy fingers and his inexperienced member! Emily is Alison's, and only hers, and Alison liked that Emily was innocent and sweet, and Ben has taken that away. She wasn't sure of what the feeling that filled her was, though in hindsight she would have recognised the jealousy anywhere. It was only for the fact that Emily looks terrified of the repercussions when she sees the dangerous glint in Alison's eyes, that Alison shapes herself up. Hanna is half way through complaining about Emily's loss of virginity and calling her a prude, when Alison tunes back in to the conversation. She wants to snap that nobody in their right minds would touch Hefty Hanna while she had more lard on her than the Pillsbury Dough Boy. Instead, she focuses her attention on Emily. Sweet, now not so innocent Emily, who still holds so much naivety in her.
Alison doesn't miss the embarrassment that is hidden in those glorious brown eyes, and she has to fight herself from bitching out Hanna even more for putting that look there. Instead, Alison pushes her jealousy aside and her anger at Ben and Hanna, and she plasters on her typical Alison DiLaurentis smirk and cheers Emily up in that typical Alison DiLaurentis way.
'Shy on the streets, sexy in the sheets. I knew there was something different about you Em' Alison says flirtatiously, her mind briefly flicking to images that she knows are far too inappropriate for the lunch table. Thoughts that she knows she'll have to save for later when she is home alone, and can do something about the pinching ache that is forming between her legs. The smile that spreads across Emily's face makes Alison want to lean over the table and kiss her hard, it's so adorable. The dimples that form in her cheeks and the blush that creeps up her face is to die for, and Alison knows that even though Emily may not be solely hers anymore, she will always have a hold on the brunette's heart.
Alison spends the whole day plotting ways on how to torture Ben for putting his grubby hands on Emily. By the end of the day, she's spent so much time scheming and plotting, that she's exhausted and also a little hurt by the fact that Emily would chose Ben over her, to be her first. She knows she has never been particularly fair to Emily regarding her feelings, but she thought that Emily knew she loved her. She thought that Emily knew that she was special to Alison. Apparently she thought wrong, she muses as she walks through the gates that evening.
'Ali, wait up!' Emily calls, causing Alison to stop in her tracks. She looks over her shoulder and sees the brunette running to catch up with her. They always walk home together, Alison wasn't sure why tonight she had decided to walk alone. Well, she knew, but she wasn't ready to admit the reason just yet.
The walk home is awkward, to say the least. Emily seems to be buzzing with nervous energy as she tries to understand whether Alison is mad at her and what she's mad about, while Alison herself just simply doesn't trust her own voice right now. She wants to pummel Ben, but she also wants to curl up in a corner and cry, because Emily is hers and hers alone and she feels as though she just lost her most prized possession.
'I know a Doctor if you wanna go on the Pill' Alison finds herself saying eventually, in an attempt to fill the silence. 'He'll see you without telling your Mom' she adds, knowing that there was no way Mrs Fields would be taking her teenage daughter to the Doctor's office for a contraceptive. In fact, she'd probably ban Emily from seeing Ben ever again. Alison briefly contemplates informing Mrs Fields of Emily's little rendezvous. With Ben out of the picture, Emily would be all hers again, and Alison could love and nurture her Mermaid enough to erase the contamination that has been left by that fumbling baboon, on to Emily's pure, virtuous soul.
'I don't need to go on the pill' Emily answers surely, causing Alison's head to snap up, because dear god, she thought her precious angel was all clued up on her biological facts. Teaching Hanna the ways of the birds and the bees had been tough enough, Alison wasn't sure she'd be able to go through it with Emily.
'You can't be too careful, Emily' Alison continues as they keep up pace. 'I mean, Juno was a cute movie but I wouldn't wanna live it' she adds, as she tries to erase her mind of Ben filling up Emily with his stinky man-load. Alison wants to vomit then and there at the thought.
'I don't need to go on the Pill, because I'm not having sex' Emily finally answers, and Alison wants to wrap her arms around Emily and spin her around on the spot. Thank god! Emily had come through. She had found her senses. She knew Ben was no good for her. Alison had to ask though. She had to appease her curiosity, and her ego.
'It was that bad?' she asks with a grimace, while silently cheering for Ben's inadequate performance that had so clearly put Emily off of him. Then Emily says the words that Alison had been wanting to hear back at lunch.
'It didn't happen' and Alison feels as though all her prayers have been answered. 'Ben and I made out, but I didn't give it up' Emily explains, and Alison feels excitement course through her. She still has her shot to make Emily hers for good. To give Emily her first taste of paradise. She walks the rest of the way with a smile from ear to ear. Alison is ecstatic.
'Hey, Em. Wanna come over tonight?' Alison asks before she can stop herself, drunk off of the thoughts of Emily writhing around in her sheets. 'My parents are out, and Jason is off with his loser friends again. I could use the company' she adds sweetly while fluttering her eyelashes, knowing full well that Emily will not be able to resist.
'Uh, sure' Emily replies almost instantly, albeit hesitantly. 'I was supposed to be meeting Aria at The Grille, but I guess I can cancel on her' she adds with a shrug.
'Oh, I think Aria said she has to spend the evening with her parents anyway' Alison replies surely, knowing that Aria was indeed spending a lot more time with her Dad in order to keep an eye on him, after they had caught Mr Montgomery making out with a student in the backseat of his car last week. 'I'm sure it'll be fine'. Alison adds with a smile, as she hooks her arm in Emily's and practically drags her towards the DiLaurentis house.
When they get back to her house, Alison leads the way straight to her bedroom, not wanting to get accidentally waylaid downstairs. The DiLaurentis house tended to be like Grand Central Station at times, with Jason's friends constantly coming and going. Alison wants to get Emily to the sanctity of her bedroom, so that they can really be alone. The second they reach the Parisian themed room, Alison shuts the door behind them and leads Emily to her bed. She can tell that Emily knows she's up to something, judging by the scared animal look in her large, rustic eyes. Alison bites down on her bottom lip as her own eyes flicker to Emily's lips, before settling back on her eyes again. Alison sits in the middle of the bed and signals for Emily to join her. She is hesitant, but Alison is pleased to see that she does.
'Ali-'
'Em, I have to admit that I had a slight ulterior motive for bringing you here' Alison interrupts, her voice silky smooth, as she takes Emily's hand in her own. She lightly plays with Emily's fingers in an effort to relax both herself and Emily, because she knows that they are both equally as nervous, not that she'd ever let that on. Her confident exterior never falters.
'What?' Emily breathes, and Alison can practically hear her heart racing in her chest. She knows it's racing, because her own is matching it, beat for beat.
'When I found out that you and Ben had slept together, I was upset' Alison begins, trying to find the best way to tell Emily how she feels, without really telling her how she feels. She sees Emily's mouth open to say something else, but Alison continues before any words can spill from those perfectly plump lips. She can't take the risk of being distracted by questions right now. She needs to keep her flow going.
'Oh sweet Emily' Alison sighs, as she brings her hand up to rest on Emily's warm, flushed cheek. 'I thought you'd made a terrible mistake. I thought you'd given him something that no boy should ever take from you' she continues, seeing Emily's brow crinkle all the more. The confused look on her face is adorable, and Alison can't help but smile. 'Your gift is something that should only be given to someone who is worthy. Someone who you love more than anything on this Earth. Someone you can't imagine not spending your life without. You know what I mean?' she asks, and she can see that look in Emily's eyes. That openness that tells Alison everything she's ever needed to know about the beautiful girl before her. She can see the adoration and infatuation that Emily holds for her, and she knows that it's her time to make her move. She knows that Emily doesn't have the ability to reject her. Not now anyway.
'You know there's only one person that I'd want you to share that moment with' Alison says lovingly, and she knows she's got her. Hook, line and sinker. She moves in with conviction as she presses the first of many sickeningly sweet kisses to Emily's lips. She feels Emily freeze for a seconds, before she responds, her body kicking in to autopilot at the feeling of Alison's lips on her own.
Alison pulls back for a second, giving Emily just enough air to ground herself again. She pulls back and looks deep in to Emily's eyes, needing confirmation that this is what she really wants. Alison knows she's many things, and she knows deep down that what she's doing is wrong and selfish, but she isn't a complete monster. She wants Emily to want this as much as she does. She needs to feel wanted. It takes a second for Emily's eyes to reflect that need that she feels inside, but before Alison can react, Emily's lips are back on hers with an urgency they didn't have before. There's still hesitance, sure. Uneasiness and innocence that only Emily could have, definitely. But there's a hunger that Alison has never experienced from her girl before. Like a spark has ignited in the swimmer, and Alison is the oxygen fuelling the fire.
Alison wasn't about to let Emily take all the control though. With a subtle firmness, Alison pushes Emily back on to the bed, before following her quickly. Their kisses are heated and hurried, and incredibly messy in a way that all teenagers kisses are. But Alison knows that she doesn't want this to be a quick fumble between two high schoolers. She wants this to be more than that. To mean more than that. She slows things down, making their kisses more languid and fluid. She brushes her tongue against Emily's lips, as she pins the girl to the bed below her. She puts every feeling she's ever felt for Emily, into that one kiss. Emily moans beneath her and Alison feels her stiffen. It's almost comical, Alison muses, that her sweet, innocent Emily is embarrassed by the noises she makes.
'It's ok Em. I like hearing you' Alison mumbles, as she kisses Emily again with the same vigour and passion that she did before. This time, Emily kisses her back with just as much feeling, and Alison feels her heart jump at the motion. Their tongues flick over each other's mouths, and their lips move with a synchronicity that neither of them had ever experienced.
Alison feels her hands moving of their own accord, her fingers gripping deftly at strong hips. Her fingers tremble against Emily's sides and she silently curses her body's deceit. She wants to be the confident one. The one to take control and act like she's all clued up in what she's doing, but in reality, she has no idea. Alison is as clueless as Emily is when it comes to being intimate with another person. All she knows is that she wants to be Emily's first. She wants to be the one that Emily looks back on with fond memories. She wants to be the one.
Alison slips her thigh between Emily's, settling her body in a way that is more comfortable for the both of them, though she's not entirely sure it's the right way to be laying. However, when her knee comes into contact with that spot between Emily's legs, the brunette lets out a gasp that tells Alison she's made the right decision. She grinds her thigh in again experimentally, and is met with another groan of pleasure from the girl beneath her.
'Does that feel good?' she finds herself asking, wanting confirmation that the noises coming from Emily are indeed those of pleasure.
'Uh-huh' Emily hums in response as she nods, before capturing Alison's lips again. Alison smirks in response, her ego filling up. She rolls her hips into Emily's, feeling her own hit of pleasure as she inadvertently grinds herself in to Emily's thigh. Alison falters as a surprised moan falls from her lips, and it seems to spur Emily on, because a second later Alison finds that the other girl's leg is now slightly bent, creating more friction than there was before. She can't stop herself from grinding into the toned leg between her own, and she momentarily finds herself growing lost in the feeling of Emily beneath her. So much so, that she loses the control she had before, and finds herself being flipped on to her back.
Alison's back hits the bed with a thud and she lets out a heavy breath with the motion. She opens her eyes and looks up to find her shy, innocent Emily grinning at her from above. Her grin is so wide, Alison is sure she can see every one of her teeth, and it's filled with something more than the usual childlike sincerity that Emily usually emits. No. This smile is sultry and flirty and filled with lust, and Alison can practically feel her hormones spike at the sight, because my god, Emily was sexy! Alison's jaw hang in disbelief, because she was right. Emily is indeed shy on the streets, but she is most definitely sexy in the sheets.
Alison reaches up and pulls Emily down in to a hungry kiss, her hand locking behind Emily's neck as their lips battle with a new ferocity. Her free hand lands on Emily's waist, her fingers brushing against the sliver of exposed flesh that sits between her jeans and her Ralph Lauren Polo. She needs more though. She needs to feel every inch of Emily's body. So, with a slightly wavering confidence, Alison pushes her hand beneath Emily's shirt, her fingers ghosting over the soft, warm skin of Emily's lower back. Emily lets out a soft moan in to her mouth, telling her what feels good. Alison's doubts and worries that she was holding back seem to vanish with every inch of skin that she touches, and every kiss they share. She quickly realises that being intimate with Emily is easy. With the brunette's moans guiding her way, she knows what she needs to do without even thinking about it.
She glides her hand over Emily's hip, brushing her fingers across the dip in her pelvis beside her stomach. She feels Emily gasp as she tickles the tender spot. Alison hesitates for a split second, before she pulls at the button on Emily's jeans, unfastening them quickly with one hand, as though she had been doing it her entire life. She pulls the zipper down, creating just enough slack in the tight material, and with one last hesitant look into Emily's eyes, she pushes her fingers past that barrier that she's been dreaming about since she first found out that it was in fact possible for two girls to have sex. Alison watches in marvel as she pushes past Emily's cotton panties and her fingers feel that slick warmth for the first time. She knows what she is looking for, she has experimented with her own body enough to know what that little bundle of nerves does, and she is confident that it will feel as good for Emily as it did for herself when she had first discovered the thrill of masturbation.
Alison's eyes flicker over Emily's face, a curtain of dark hair surrounding them and shutting them off from the world around them, as she feels around the tight space in Emily's pants in search for the nub she needs. It's easier than she had expected, and she finds it in no time. Alison watches as Emily's jaw becomes unhinged when her fingers brush over the tender spot. Alison bites down on her bottom lip as she draws circles around the area with her finger, growing closer to the sensitive centre with every motion of her fingertip. Emily's breathes grow deeper and heavier with every movement, soft groans and whimpers leaving her open mouth as she softly rocks into Alison's touch. Alison watches in awe as Emily's hips thrust back and forth in order to create a rhythm that she knows is causing the pleasure to build up within her body, and it doesn't take long before Emily's moans grow in frequency and sound.
'Alison' Emily moans, as Alison's finger pushes down harder into the spot, rubbing at the nub as though she is smudging chalk into the most delicate of canvases. Alison feels a jolt between her own legs at the sound, and she's sure her name has never sounded as beautiful as it does in that moment.
'I've got you, Em' Alison coaxes, her free hand coming up to tenderly brush a lock of hair behind Emily's ear. She rests her pam against Emily's cheek, her thumb brushing lovingly over the soft skin that feels so much warmer than it usually does.
'I wont hurt you. I promise' she adds softly. Alison looks up at Emily, who is hovering above her with her eyes screwed tightly shut and her jaw hung wide, and she feels as though she is seeing her for the first time. The girl she has grown up with, is no longer a girl. She is becoming a woman before Alison's very eyes, and Alison is sure she has never seen anything more beautiful. Alison finds the sight encapturing. She can't look away, and she's sure that she will never see anything as magical as this.
'Oh my god' Emily cries, her eyes squeezed closed as she lets out a soft whimper, before a loud moan leaves her lips and Alison feels Emily's body stiffen momentarily.
'Ali' Emily cries, as her body shakes with such intensity that Alison can feel it. She can feel Emily's arms shaking either side of her head as the athletic teen tries to hold up her body weight. She can feel the throbbing between Emily's legs around the single digit that is now frozen in place on Emily's most sensitive area. She can feel her heart explode with a feeling that she can't quite name, but knows she's never felt before. Alison has a rough idea of what this feeling is. She's heard about it. She's read about it. She's seen it in people's eyes. She's sure she's seen it in Emily's eyes, in fact. But never before, has she felt it for herself. Not as powerfully and raw as she feels it now, anyway.
Emily lowers herself on to Alison, their bodies lying flush together. Their hearts beat as one, and both girls remain frozen in place as their eyes lock on to each other's. They hold silent conversations as they try to wrap their heads around what just happened. Emily pants and huffs as she tries desperately to recover from the most intense feeling she has ever felt, while Alison tries to shake the overwhelming feeling of love that she can feel herself drowning in, caused by the sight of Emily's blissful orgasm and the knowledge that she created it. The feeling is so overwhelming, Alison isn't sure what to do with herself. She isn't sure how to act or what to say, because she doesn't understand it. She doesn't know the real meaning of love. Alison wasn't raised in a family where her parents loved each other irrevocably, like Emily's did. Alison's parents didn't share sweet nothings and soft touches here and there. She didn't grow up with the example of two people who would go to the ends of the word for each other. Her parents simply co-existed in the moment together. Love is not something Alison DiLaurentis is familiar with.
Alison can feel Emily breathing on her neck, and a part of her wants to stay where she is forever. She revels in the feeling of Emily's satiated groans and heavy breaths, and she wants to stay looking at the trusting and loving look in Emily's eyes. She wants to be the person who can share loving words with the brunette. She wants to be everything she knows Emily deserves, but as she lays on the bed with Emily looking at her like she's the most special, important person in the word, all Alison feels is guilt and self-hatred because she knows she just did a very bad thing. Alison knows that she didn't go through with this for Emily. She acted on purely selfish reasons, and she knows that Emily deserves so much more. She rationalised taking Emily's virginity with the knowledge that she wanted her girl to share that moment with someone who Emily loved and who could love her back equally. She had told herself that she was that person. That she could give Emily the most special first time in the history of first times, and she's sure that a part of her wanted that deep down. But ultimately, what Alison had done was exactly the opposite of what she had told herself she was doing.
Alison pulls herself out from beneath Emily and sits up on the side of the bed, her fingers slipping out from the other girl's jeans. She feels the sticky residue from Emily's juices on her hand, and she tears prickle in her eyes. She hates, that much like every other time she has allowed herself to over-indulge in the smell of chlorine scented skin and the taste of bubblegum flavour chapstick, she has done it for herself. She has always taken Emily's evident feelings and used them to her own advantage, knowing full well that she can never openly return the love that Emily feels for her.
'Ali?' Emily calls out, and Alison can already hear the strain in her voice. That worried, yet begging tone, when Emily knows she's about to be pushed away. Alison closes her eyes as they burn, threatening for tears to form.
'You should go home, Em' Alison manages to say, as her eyes well up. She can't look at Emily. She doesn't need to, she's seen that look of hurt on her face one too many times, and she's been the cause of it more than she'd care to remember.
Emily doesn't say anything. She never does. After a moment, Alison feels her silently get up from the bed and watches as the teenager's figure retreats from the room. Alison knows she's crying. She knows that she's possibly just taken the purest thing in this world, and poisoned her with her own toxicity. All for what? Jealousy? A sick need to feel as though Emily is her possession, likes she's a doll that Alison is trying to mark ownership of? To have the knowledge that she took something from Emily that no other person would be able to take now? Alison feels sick and ashamed with herself. She jumps up from the bed and races to the bathroom, as tears spill down her face. She locks the door and all but throws herself at the toilet as she sticks two fingers down her throat. She needs to get the feeling out of her. She needs to purge away her sins and pray for forgiveness. She needs to do something that takes away the love she feels for Emily, because Alison is more than aware that as well as fucking up Emily's life, she just fucked up her own even more. By taking Emily's virginity, she opened the door to her heart, and the love she feels for Emily came flooding out tenfold. Now, try as she might, Alison knows she can never put it back.
So, this is basically how I imagine it would have gone down had Alison taken that dive in that direction. I don't think that this is necessarily how things went down with Emison pre-disappearance, but I think it's definitely interesting to explore.
First of all, that possessiveness that Alison portrays, particularly when it comes to Emily. I think Alison dances a very fine line between protectiveness and possessiveness in the early days with Emily. We see how she wants to murder Ben for even suggesting that he slept with Emily, but when she hears that it could be true, Alison is filled with this uncontrollable jealousy, because Emily is very much hers in her mind. While Alison, I feel, isn't fully aware of her feelings and isn't ready to dive into a whole relationship type thing with Emily, she also doesn't want to lose her. The very thought of Emily sleeping with anyone else causes Alison to feel like she's losing her, and that just wont do. So when she finds out that it's not true, she becomes obsessive and possessive, and she HAS to take Emily's virginity before someone really does get in there and take it from her. We see that Alison hates that she's treating Emily in such a way. She can't handle the fact that shes hurt Emily, but she knows the only way to not hurt her is to accept her feelings, and we got a glimpse in to what that entails for Alison. She's terrified of loving anyone, because she doesn't know what it means to love someone, particularly someone like Emily who loves SO much. The whole ordeal is daunting for Alison, and she feels as though she is drowning.In my mind, though this happens around episode 2x13, I like to think it happened not long before Alison disappeared and that they never really got to talk about it.
Anyway, I hope you liked it :) Much love Lo xxx