Introduction

(Preface)

Hello, fellow demigods.

Well, at least that's who I assume you are if you picked up this book. If you're not; if you've never been staring down the mouth of a Nemean Lion and you're now thinking 'That's an odd saying to use', then you're completely right of course. There isn't actually a real Nemean Lion, nor did anyone ever stare down its (really awfully smelly) mouth. This entire book(?) is just an elaborate school project, really, by someone who is entirely too fascinated by and knowledgeable about the Greek myths. Carry on with your lives.

Okay; that was your obligatory mortal-disclaimer. For those of you who are still here; I assume you've read stuff like that a million times. Or maybe some of you don't actually know what I'm talking about, but the excuse sounded so familiar to those you regularly have to come up with in your own life. In that case; welcome aboard the demigod train! You're in for a rough ride.

Just to be clear what you are looking at here; this is going to be the first-ever-comprehensive-monster-guide-for-and-by-demigods, or FECMGFABD. I'm still working on the title. But as it says, in here you will find accounts of every relevant mythological monster of Greek or Roman origin, and, more importantly, vital tips for what to do when said monsters stand before you in the flesh.

I should probably introduce myself: My name is Percy Jackson, son of Poseidon. Which is kind of a big deal; child of the Big Three and all that. Well; it's not that big a deal anymore; children of the Big Three have been popping up all over the place lately. We've kind of saved the world once or twice in the past few years. Well, with the help of a few tag-alongs (amazingly resourceful demigods who will kick your butt the next time they see you, Percy Jackson!)

Anyway; I don't really know if anybody is actually going to read all this. Realistically, these notes will probably sit around in my nightstand until I either die or forget to clean it out before the cleaning harpies arrive. I've just been calling them a book so far because I don't know what else to call it (for lack of a better term). It's a lot of unwarranted optimism, to which perhaps my mother has inspired me a little bit (she's a successful author now; Sally Jackson; go buy her books).

Shameless family-advertising aside, there actually is a reason why I am writing this: two of my friends pointed out yesterday that we could use the countless near-death experiences we've had over the years for creating something productive ('cash in on it' were their exact words, I believe). I think they meant it as a joke, though I can never be quite sure there. In seven years of knowing them, I've yet to see them to something productive – unless you call stealing the 4th of July fireworks productive. But anyway; since they made that comment I've been thinking about it a little.

I will never admit this to said anonymous friends' faces; but they were kind of right: A little guide on how you should act in the odd monster situation is a potential life-saver. Hell; I would have wanted one of those when all this started! I've checked, and apparently, for some reason, no one has come up with this idea before. There is no actual monster guide out there to be found. Somebody needs to create that thing, and, without exaggeration, I can safely say that I'm the leading demigod expert on monsters at the moment, simply because they seem to like me so much (just by virtue of exposition). Remember that Nemean Lion introduction? Yeah.

Since the idea wouldn't let me go anymore and sleep is overrated anyway, I've spent the last night (sloppily) scribbling down everything I know about monsters, beasts and whatever else might want to kill a perfectly nice demigod. I've already got a bunch of (compiled a lot of) notes right here next to me as I'm writing this, and that's despite demigod-issue dyslexia. I'm kind of impressed with myself.

I've probably rambled on long enough. (Yes, you have.) Now, as for exactly what you can expect in this book; I'm basically going to try to make it a guideline for any imaginable situation that involves a monster – at least from my experience. This goes from obvious things like not looking at the Medusa's head, to more subtle decisions like not trying to ride a giant pink flying boar through the streets of Manhattan while Hermes is clubbing it to death with a caduceus. I don't know why you would want to do that, but just in case you do; don't. Trust me; it's not as much fun as it sounds.

The main thing about monsters (as you probably know already) is that they don't really die. Meaning anything I've ever had to fight, you'll probably have to fight at some point. And most likely you'll blow up a school in the process, get blamed for everything and spend the next few months on the run from the authorities until the Mist sorts it out. It sucks, but that's a demigod's life for you.

I just realized how depressing I'm making this all sound. Dear readers; if you're now understandably upset and thinking 'No, screw this demigod stuff; I'm out; I don't want to be demigod!', please don't close this book and run in the opposite direction – likely there's a monster already waiting for you that way. Eager to kill you. Or eat you. Or both.

Okay, I'll stop now. Really, being a demigod isn't all bad; it does have its good sides. For one, you get a bunch of awesome powers to show off – unless you're a child of Hypnos, in which case you'll just lie in your bed sleeping all day. But then you'll also never read this book, so that doesn't really apply, now that I'm thinking about it…

Anyway; the good sides of being a demigod: the camp fire, obviously. Pegasi; they are awesome. Ambrosia. And, of course, meeting a lot of amazing people. Yeah, that's probably the main thing. Nothing makes life-long friends faster than a joint effort to chop Medusa's head off. And believe me; those friends are worth the monsters.

(Gods, you hopeless romantic. I love you)

So, in summary, to survive until you get to these good parts, I'll try to compile a few helpful tips in this book to overcome the bad. Yeah. That's basically it. As for the order the monsters will feature in; there really isn't one. I'm making this up as I go along; probably starting with the things I'm most familiar with. Which really only leaves one choice for the first entry…

PS:

Edit:

I'm now looking over this again. It's the first time I've ever written this much (voluntarily!), and I really don't know how I managed it. Must have been the excitement. I think it's worn off now, because the words are just hula-dancing around the page at the moment. So, apologies if everything is misspelled or makes no sense.

Then again, now that I think about it, you all probably have dyslexia, too. Which makes this guide Thus rendering this guide a lot less helpful than I thought. That might be why no one has done this before, actually. This is a problem.

I'm going to ask my girlfriend about this; I assume she'll have a solution. She usually does. Actually; now that I think about it, it would probably be good anyway if she had a look over this entire thing first before I share it with anybody. Don't tell her I said this, but she's much better at this kind of writing-and-organizing stuff than I am (Despite also having dyslexia. Still haven't figured out how she does that) (Thanks!). She's also really pedantic, though. (Oi!) So if half of this text is underlined or marked red; don't put the blame on me. I'm just trying to be helpful to you guys.

You brought this on yourself, Seaweed Brain.