it was the year 200500600780042 (is the earth really going to live that long?) and the robots in appercher scince had take over teh wrold and all humans were slaves and all test subjecks. dave ratman who was doug ratmans son was lying in the relaxation chambre. he was screard beacuase becouse he could die and some dead people become zombiez. then the speakerd spok and sed dave rattman cum (skipping to the next part before I find out the end of that sentence! ^_^...'_'...0_0) ther droo opend and dave got up an got out and got on his shoes and got out and then he was in a test chamber. the speaker sed "dave! ratman ples do the test. there is a lazor button and a mirror and a lazer and you must open the exitr.!". dave was so intlegent so he used the mirrior to make the lazor deflect and hit thor button and the door exploded and dave walk through."i did et!" sed dave fratman. he went int the life and a robot pooped out. "i kill you" sed the robot. "no bro" sed the dave ratman and he kieked the robot in balls. owww. sed da robot. lets be friends sed the robot."ok sed ratman". (He didn't even get to know his name yet! and besides, who wants to be friends with a stranger who kicks people in the balls?)

dave and the robot who was now name jim. (is that really his name or did Dave call him that? That's the problem with this story. The grammar is abysmal that it's hard to understand what's going on!) the speaker sed heres a portal gun that i found on the flor". (Care to explain WHICH floor?!) dave picked it up. glados was wanted to him using it for testing but dave was more clever then her. (o rly?) dave saw a windoe and shot a portal on the wall and through the window and he used them to esap teh factory. jim escapped from teh room too. " alert alert. the test subject hes escapt" crid glados loadly. ( so there was a guy name crid glados who was full of- oh nevermind!)atlas and pbody were in the room " atlas! pbody" find dave and jim and make them sufer for there crims".

dave and jim were enjoying lif and freedome in a medow full of kittens. jim was storking teh kittens and dave was relaxin. (O_O Okay you were definitely smoking cocaine while making this shit) "itsnt it nisee to bee free" sed dave. " i am so glad i experenced it" sed jim. SUDENLY PBODY AND ATLESS WERE THERE AND HAD NETS. (Wait, how did they find out where Dave and Jim were, and where did they get the net?) "wee wil catch you. " sed atless. dave and jim ran around and atless and p body chasd them around but kitten cept looking at them ('The kitten kept looking at them') and jim got to the river. "quick. jimp in the river. (The river's name is jimp? Cool I didn't know rivers had names!) robot get broked in water" sed dave. ('Robot get broked in water'? Is Dave a robot too? What a twist!) "but i'm a robot" sed jim. (No shit sherlock) atless and pbody were close and had kitten skarrs on them but there were still fine and evil. "go without me. sav yourself" sed jim. dave jumped into the water and jim was caut in net and was took away."noooooooooooooooooooooooo" sed dave "i will not rest untill i save you!.

too bee continyood (I got a better idea! How about, "THE END", because THAT IS ALL I CAN TAKE OF THIS STORY!)

Author's Note: Phew, now that was real pain in the * $$* to read. Anyway, let's start addressing the problems with this "story" that rayman made.

First the positives:

...

Negatives:

- Grammar

- Story makes no sense

- Rushed Plot-line

- Many More

I don't even need to rant about, just read it! It shits for the birds! This is truly a terrible fanfic... wait, you don't suppose this is actually a trollfic due to tons of grammar mistakes, right? ...FU-