(A/N) Here's another, more angst-y Dramione for you. This was originally a oneshot, but some lovely reviewers named FranciscaMalfoyBlack and ashmoney67 told me continue it, so I will! I'm(hopefully) going to post a poll for people to vote on the basic storyline if they want to. Thanks to my two reviewers who encouraged me to write more!
Happy(or sad) reading!
Hermione happily skipped along the corridor, coming back from her Arithmancy NEWT test. This year she'd made a pact not to stress about her exams at all, so she was trying to be as carefree and happy-go-lucky as possible.
As she rounded a corner, she slammed face-first into someone's chest, dropping all of her many books.
"Watch it, Granger!" snapped a very annoyed voice.
Hermione backed up a step and glared at the person she'd run into.
"You weren't watching where you were going either, Malfoy!" she growled back, squatting and beginning to pick up her books. "It'd be nice if you'd help me, you know."
"Help a Mudblood?" Malfoy snorted. "Never. I'm already going to have to burn this robe since your filthy face so rudely slammed into it."
"Just go!" Hermione groaned, exasperated.
Malfoy sniffed haughtily and left without another word.
Grumbling about unhelpful Slytherins that were annoyingly handsome, Hermione got to her feet, trying to rip out the part of her mind that said Malfoy was handsome. As she stood up, she realized she'd picked up a book that wasn't hers. It was dark blue and had silver lettering on the front that read:
Draco Malfoy's Diary
A very Slytherinlike smirk spread across Hermione's face at the thought of reading Malfoy's private thoughts.
Even happier than before, Hermione skipped off to find her favorite secluded corner of the Library to read the diary. She entered the Library and waved to Madam Pince, who simply grimaced and turned back to scowl at a fifth year Hufflepuff who was reading a cookbook by the window. Hermione passed the front desk by and wove in and out of shelves to the back where she had her tiny little cubbyhole. She sat down and pulled out the diary, carfully looking around to make sure nobody was watching before opening the book to the first page.
September 1st, 1990.
I got to Hogwarts today. I'm in Slytherin, of course, just like Mother and Father. I actually met Harry Potter in Madam Malkins' this morning, he's odd. Potter is friends with that Weasley boy, the youngest one. Not sure how that family even has the money to have that many children. Ridiculous.
But, onto another, more exciting topic.
I saw the cutest girl I've ever seen in my life on the Hogwarts Express today!
Hermione smiled to herself, imagining a tiny Malfoy pining after Pansy Parkinson. The idea of Malfoy being all lovey-dovey over Parkinson made Hermione want to giggle and retch at the same time.
As she read, however, her eyes grew comically wide as she realized that it wasn't Pansy Malfoy had written about.
She came into my compartment, asking about that Longbottom boy's lost toad. Her hair is the bushiest I've ever seen, like a ball of brown furriness on top of her head. It's adorable. She's got the cutest buck-teeth too, and she was kind of bossy, but I find that rather attractive. Too bad she's a Gryffindor.
Hermione gasped. She'd never known that Malfoy had liked her when he was a first year. She flipped through the pages and found where he'd written about the Yule Ball.
I had to take Pansy, unfortunately. Only for looks though, everybody knows she's got this thing for Goyle. And you know what? Hermione Granger had the audacity to walk in on Viktor Krum's arm, looking absolutely gorgeous.
She'll be the death of me, I swear.
I'm going to end up randomly proposing to her in front of a crowd and get totally rejected and embarrass myself completely. Maybe this crush thing isn't the healthiest.
She was really beautiful though. Wearing these light blue robes that flowed off her body like ocean waves- why am I so poetic today? Zabini asked me the same question earlier.
The whole night I've felt like punching Krum for daring to take MY Hermione to the Yule Ball. Oh wait, I'm not dating her. In your dreams, Draco!
Hermione flipped through a few more pages.
It happened.
Voldemort burned the Mark into my arm. It really hurts. I'm crying right now, as I write this, but not because of the pain. Or not completely, anyway.
I'm crying because now I know that I have no chance with Hermione.
She's going to hate me even more, if that's possible, and I don't think she'll ever see me as having good inside me anymore. I'll always be the Death Eater that killed the headmaster to her. Nobody but a problem.
In my mind, I'm imagining all the ways she could find out. Lifting my arm at the wrong moment, dueling with Potter, wind blowing my sleeve up, the list goes on. And her reaction? Probably anger, offense, protectiveness for her friends. Not fear, though, never fear. Hermione Granger would never be scared of me.
At least I hope not.
Just once I want to hold her, touch her ridiculously bushy hair, cradle her against my chest and pretend that the war is over and that I never became a Death Eater.
I wish she'd just walk up to me, roll my left sleeve up, see the Dark Mark, look me in the eyes and tell that none of it mattered. That I was still a good person.
You know what, Diary?
I think I love her. I just wish she loved me, too.
A stray tear escaped down Hermione's cheek. She flipped through another couple pages.
The war's over.
I'm back at home, though there's no Voldemort here anymore. I saw Hermione and Ron Weasley kissing after the battle. I'm not sure what I expected, after everything I'd done to her. Did I think she'd run up to me and proclaim her undying love? No, she's not that dramatic. But I thought that she, being the smart witch she is, would've figured out my feelings by now and told me something. Or, maybe that was her way of rejecting me. I don't know, I'm really confused.
I've never really been jealous of Ron Weasley before. Was I jealous that he was Harry Potter's best friend? At the start, yeah, but not really afterward. But now, I've realized that he has something that I'll never have.
Friends, family, love. Those are things that no amount of money or power can buy. You can't buy friendship, can't conjure love. Ron Weasley really has it all. He's richer than I'll ever be.
And that's why he got the girl.
Hermione sat there, astonished, as she read the last few lines. She and Ron had kissed after the battle, and they'd dated for a bit, but they'd both agreed it felt weird to be together and broken up. Ron was dating Padma Patil now, and Hermione(of course) hadn't had time to date with her studies.
Wiping a few tears away, Hermione stood up and stuffed the book back into her bag, planning to leave it somewhere Malfoy would find. She exited the Library and was walking down the corridor when Malfoy turned the corner and almost collided with her. He stepped back a bit and narrowed his eyes at her.
"Granger," he said curtly.
"Malfoy," she replied.
"Have you seen a dark blue notebook?" he asked, a bit of nervousness coloring his tone.
Hermione nodded.
"Did you pick it up?"
Nod.
"Did you see what it was?"
Nod.
"…You didn't read it, did you?"
"I did," Hermione said, opening her bag and rummaging around for the book.
"You read it?" Malfoy whispered, panic-stricken.
Hermione looked up, watching as Malfoy slowly backed up, his eyes wide. He looked vulnerable and frightened, horrified that his secret had been found.
"Listen," he said, regaining some semblance of confidence. "I'm a terrible person, I know, and that book doesn't change anything-"
"You are not a terrible person," Hermione interrupted.
"I was a Death Eater!" Malfoy snarled, shoving his left sleeve up to reveal the black scar. "Look at this and tell me I don't deserve what I got!"
"You don't," Hermione insisted, pushing his arm back down but keeping her hand firmly on it, her thumb rubbing small circles on the skin of his wrist. "You're not a bad person, you just made some mistakes. We all do that."
Malfoy as silent for a few seconds, watching her thumb.
"But I hurt you," he finally whispered, his voice breaking.
Hermione let go of his wrist and wrapped her arms around his middle, burying her face into his chest.
"I forgive you," she mumbled into his shirt. "I read the book and I know you never meant a word of it."
Malfoy tensed slightly, obviously feeling awkward at the mention of his diary. He rested hands stiffly on her shoulders, unsure of where to place them. Maybe someday they would become friends.
Or perhaps more.
(A/N) Did you like it? I hope so! Let me with a review :3