Disclaimer: I do not own any bit of Wicked the musical or the book. Thank you to Mr. Gregory Maguire for the wonderful story and Stephen Schwartz and all the other people who put together the musical. Any characters not in the musical/book are of my own invention.

Author's Note: Right here, you've got my first Wicked fan fiction. So you are not confused, the story jumps between first person and third person. First person is always Elphaba. Hopefully it will make more sense once you start reading it. Any italicized text is thought. This little fan fiction of mine as elements of Fiyeraba (Fiyero x Elphaba) and Gelphie (Glinda x Elphaba); mostly the latter. That means that there will be talk and scenes with two women being together. Don't like it? Don't read. The story is rated for language, violent, and sexual content. I have combined ideas from the book and musical, so I'm sorry if you are a bit confused at first.

Word Count: 1900

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Chapter1: Dear Fiyero

It's been a year. A long fucking year. After my death was announced through out Oz, Fiyero and I moved back into his castle in Kiamo Ko. We're not bothered; everyone assumes the place is haunted by my ghost or spirit or whatever. The place is not particularly a fun place to live. It's always freezing since we cannot light a fire in fear that someone will see the smoke. I take residence in the tower that I originally stayed in, while Fiyero spends most of his time down stairs. We both sleep in the master bedroom down stairs. The place is old and dusty beyond belief. It is such a hassle to clean the whole place; it is much too big.

Since our arrival here, I have been attempting to find a way to change Fiyero back into a human. I have had little success. The Grimmerie is becoming less and less readable. Plus, as of late, I haven't had the time to study the book. Our son Liir is now four months old. Fiyero is a lot of help with the child, but it still does not leave much time for myself.

And today is the first anniversary of the Wicked Witch's death. I felt a little under the weather this morning so I have stayed in my tower. Fiyero has taken Liir. I can't help but feel sad. Not because today marks a year of hiding for the rest of my life, but because of my dear friend, Glinda. Throughout my time here at Kiamo Ko I have not been able to get the girl out of my mind. Lately, I've even been having visions, of a sort.

It is not uncommon for me to see Glinda in her bedroom or appearing before Emerald City. She always seems to be troubled. In almost every vision see is crying or ends up crying. Today in particular seems very hard for her. As all of Oz celebrates, she has been locked up in her room all day. My heart aches to be with her, to let her know I'm here. I know she grieves for me as I do for her. Lucky, I grieve only that I cannot be with her, while she is caught up in the thought that I am dead and gone for good.

Each time I see her cry, I regret my decision. I should have never left her in Emerald City. I should have never went with Fiyero. I should have never faked my death. I believed I was in love with Fiyero and I suppose I was, but now I see how I truly felt; how I've always felt. I really knew the moment she considered us friends. Her golden hair, contagious smile, beautiful blue eyes, intoxicating voice, everything about her…I loved everything about her. And not just her looks. Her genuine personality. She may have been shallow and self-centered when we first met, but I came to love even that about her. My Glinda. She was so perfect. I should have told her when I had the chance.

But I was blind and let Fiyero lead me off into this life I now live. And now we have a child. As much as I'd like to, I harbor no motherly love toward him. I take care of him, it is, in fact, my job, but only because I have to. I find myself feeling even a little sorry for the child. He will grow up without a mother's love and I curse myself for bringing him into his world. It is unfair. I should be able to love my son, but I can't. He is a product of a fake love between Fiyero and I, and as much as I try, I cannot love him. I hate to think that he will be raised like I was, but I know Fiyero loves him. At least he has one parent to truly care for him.

I sometimes wonder if Liir is a sign that I am meant to stay wit Fiyero. I could not possibly speak to Glinda. For one, I could never make it to Emerald City without being caught and two, I doubt she would even want to speak with me. I know Glinda…she'd be horribly angry if I showed up and told her that I faked my death. I never meant to put her in so much pain, but it seems that that is all I've ever caused her. I took Fiyero away from her, I left her in Emerald City, and worse of all, I made her believe I died. I just wish I knew how she felt about me.

I know she misses me, but is it just because we were best friends or is there something more? I have always hoped that there was something more between us. At times, I have thought that she feared Fiyero leaving her, not because she wanted to be with him, but because she wanted to be with me and knew Fiyero was after me. I've also thought that our fight before Fiyero's capture was started out of jealous of Fiyero not jealous of me. Even now, I hope that she cries so much because she loves me in return. But I have no way to know. She never speaks to anyone about me and it's not as though I can read her mind.

If only I knew she loves me as I love her. I would risk everything just to go tell her how I feel.

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Upon waking that morning, Glinda found herself sick to the stomach. It was no doubt that she felt this way because of the date. She had lost Elphaba one year ago. From the moment her eyes open, she felt a physical aching within her chest. It felt as though her heart was literally breaking as she lay in bed. Elphaba's death had hit her hard, but she had only felt this way once before and that was when Elphaba actually melted. Tears stung the back of her eyes and pressure could be felt through her nasal cavity. She had felt this all too many times. Before long she'd be sobbing.

A servant girl appeared outside the door of the blonde's room. She knocked three times before cracking the door just wide enough for her to peer in. Glinda bit back tears and turned her back to face the new presence.

"Your Goodness, you are to address the Ozians in an hour," the girl offered, timidly. Glinda let out a frustrated groan.

"I'm sick," she managed to say. It took all of her control not to cry. The girl looked sympathetically toward.

"I will let the council know. Do you need anything, Your Goodness?"

"No," Glinda replied. The moment the door was closed she broke into tears. Her hands came to her face and she cried into her palms.

It took her sometime to calm down. Once she had steadied her breathing and slowed the rate of her tears, Glinda swung her legs off the bed and sat on the edge for a bit. She took a deep breath. Her eyes fell on the window that sat opposite her bed. The sun was shining. It was a beautiful day.

She was dressed only in a pink night gown and her undergarments. Her bare feet set against the floor and she moved toward the window. The large pane was set two feet from the floor and was at least four feet tall. Glinda sat on the large window sill and stared out at he Emerald City. Her lip trembled.

Bringing her knees to her chest, she held them their with her arms. She gently rested her head on her knees. Her face was showered with warm rays of sun. Glinda closed her eyes and let her mind drift to Elphaba. This time, she did not cry, because she was recalling all of the good times they had spent together.

"Oh Elphie…" she whispered.

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"Oh Elphie…"

"I can't take this anymore!" Elphaba hissed. She stood from her seat at the rickety desk that she so often used. Like usual, she was dressed in a simple black frock. Her hair was nicely combed, but her face looked paler than normal. Dark circles outlined her lower eye lid from lack of sleep.

These visions she was having were absolutely driving her crazy. She couldn't take seeing Glinda in such shape. Fastening her heavy cloak over her shoulder and grabbed her broom, she prepared to set out. Elphaba decided that telling Fiyero would be a bad idea, so she wrote a note and left it on her desk.

She could not possibly make it to Emerald City without being seen; the sun's light was too abundant. Her fingers flipped through the pages of the Grimmerie that sat on her desk. It only took a few minutes before she found the spell. She had used it a time or two before.

"Teris teris actomb ray…" she said aloud. Elphaba repeated the chant several times. The sun suddenly was masked by the darkest clouds. All of Oz suddenly appeared as though it were night. She smirked at her skillful work.

"Elphaba!" Fiyero called. She could tell he was at the bottom of the stairs. After a moment, his foot steps could be heard coming up toward the tower along with Liir's cries. He was obviously wondering why it was nearly pitch black.

Before Fiyero could reach the room, Elphaba mounted her broom and shoved off. Her hand reached down and scooped the Grimmerie; just in case. She immediately began to trip toward Emerald City. The darkness around her concealed her perfectly. If she hurried, she could make it to the city before the next morning.

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His knuckles knocked against the hard wood of the door that lead to Elphaba's study. "Elphaba?" he called from the other side. Liir was cradled in his left arm. The baby was crying horribly loud at this point. Fiyero rocked him gently and knocked on the door again.

"Elphaba, what happen…"he started, but trailed off as he opened the door and found Elphaba no where in sight. He let out a frustrated sigh. Bobbing Liir up and down he tried to shush the babe.

Fiyero noticed a note sitting on her desk next to the Grimmerie. He tried to pick up the small piece of paper, but his straw fingers couldn't quite grasp the note. A groan escaped his mouth. He was tired of being a scarecrow. Liir was always scared of him in the dark and he couldn't do nearly as much as he used to.

Going through Elphaba's drawer, Fiyero found a match. He was about to light a candle, but realized it would be much to dangerous. Groaning again, he lowered his face so her could read the note.

"Shhh…It's okay. Daddy's here," Fiyero said kindly to Liir as he bounced the child gently. He read the note carefully.

Dear Fiyero,

I've been having a bit of trouble focusing. I decided to go out for a bit. Don't worry about the darkness, I cast a spell from the Grimmerie. It will wear off in a few hours. I am sorry to just up and leave, but I really need this time alone. I'll be back soon.

Elphaba