It was the dead of night and Shinji had just came out of the showers. He was expecting his clothes to be thrown out on the ground in a tangled mess, however to somewhat of a surprise this had changed. As soon as he looked down Shinji saw a brand new pair of pajama bottoms where he just laid down his old ones, " I guess Misato must have bout me some new clothes as well the last time she went shopping" he said. He slipped his new pajamas on and walked towards his bed room. 'cozy are they not?" He heard her voice come from merely a few feet away. it was dark but not pitch black and he knew where said voice was coming from. He walked towards Misato's room and saw the darkness within it as he took a step forward he realized just how depressing her room looked. Sure there were new clothes and a nice comfortable bed, but it lacked certain aspects that would make it feel like anything other that a cheap motel room. (Not to say that Misato's apartment was the Tajma hall but still he expected more of a lived in feel)No pictures of family members or friends, no paintings, nothing that brimmed with personality. As he pondered whether or not he should just turn around and head towards his room the entrance to Misato's room seemed to feel smaller, almost as if it were shrinking. like he had entered a dragons den and the mouth of the dragon was closing in on him. Why was he so nervous he had to tell Misato that he wanted to leave quickly, but doing so after he just came in felt disrespectful "Misato you wanted to speak to me?" he asked in his usual frail voice. "Shinji there's something that I need to get off my chest." 'Hmm" he grinned at the implications as he thought to himself well what could that be. "You know we've been living together for a while now and I've been wanting to so this for a long time, but the opportunity never seemed to come."
"Oh my" are we gonna do it though Shinji as he began to pull his shirt down over his crotch. It was still to dark for him to see much of anything, but he assumed that Misato's Eye's had adjusted to the dark as she had been in that room for longer than he had. "Shinji" Misato wispered "I want to ask you a few questions about your past" Huh" was all he could say. "You see Shinji all that I've come to know about you in your time being here is that your a pilot for one of the militaries most advanced mechanical weapons the EVA'S." "Im sure that's what most people care to see you as, and although as a nerve personal it's my job is to monitor you, as your guardian I feel as though I am morally obligated to know as much as I can about your life before you came here." Shinji began to feel confused on one hand no one had ever taken a genuine interest in him or asked him what his life was like before he came to Tokyo3. Even when his bastard father had just called him from out of the blue and expected him to pilot the giant eva on the very same day he had never bothered to ask him what his life had been like. Yet at the same time he felt grim memories of his past stir up and the look of disgust on his face said it all. "Shinji if you don't want to talk about it then that's okay, but I really care about you and I only want to help." He knew that this day might come a day when he would have to reveal his tragic pas to someone. Cold sweat drops rose from his forehead. Him the boy who could fight a monstrous angle with relative ease almost turned blue in the face of such a question. "Misato I have been living in hell for as long as I can remember. From the moment that my mother died to the moment My dad called on me to come here" Misato noticed the pitiful look on the boys face she had always wanted to know just what kind of life that shinji had lived before coming here and who to put the blame on for his self esteem issues. He began to talk to Misato about his past, and he knew that it would be pain full for her to hear but she deserved to know.
"When my mother died when I was four my father just dumped me off at my aunt and uncles house. He gave them a cash settlement and then left me without so much as saying goodbye. I tried to get along with my new family and hoped for the best, but I was just living in a fantasy world. My cousin always poked fun at me saying that my dad was responsible for killing my mom. I snapped one day and pushed him to the ground, immediately my aunt came to his rescue and struck me across the face." "oh my" was all that Misato could get out. "One night I heard my aunt and uncle talking about what to do with me they said that since my father had already paid for all of my expenses and that the social pressure of abandoning the son of a blood relative would cause them to loose face and be looked down upon. I thought to myself that hey didn't care about me and that the only reason they kept me was because they needed to." Misato looked at the boys face it was drained of any emotion, Shinji looked like a mindless zombie. She began to wounder if what she was doing was right, but she still felt obligated as his guardian to know the rest of his story. "go on" was all she could say. After hearing this I promised that I would behave, I wanted them to know that I wasn't a bad kid I just needed someone to be there for me. as life went on things only got worse, When I seven I ran away from home, I saw a bicycle laying on the street, I took and and I ran. Latter that night I was caught by a police officer and brought to a nearby station. Turns out the bike I found was reported stolen, They asked me why I stole the Bicycle, I told them I found it, of course they didn't believe me. They asked me who my parents where I told them who my father was. Once they made a phone call I was hoping to see my dad again, but it was all for not. My dad never came, instead my Aunt and uncle came and offered nothing but expressions of disgust. They were informed that I stole the bike and that I lied about it being found. They of course didn't believe me either. No one ever bothered to hear me out that's because no one cared. This was painful, Misato had no idea how much loneliness that he had endured. "What about school Shinji didn't you have any friends who listened to you? Surely there must have been a few people that cared about you back at your old town" "No Misato there weren't." He began to chuckle "And don't call me Surely." Shinji had a sad smile on his face it was depressing enough just to listen , to actually be able to talk about this took balls, Misato admired that .
Shinji continued " By the time I was thirteen all the kids in school always picked on me calling me a wimp, a loser and everything that you could imagine. One evening when I felt like I just couldn't take it anymore, I walked downstairs to the kitchen of my aunt and uncles house and took out a large carving knife, I attempted to kill myself with it.." "You WHAT" exclaimed Misato in shock as the look of horror on her face complimented the darkness of the room. "I thought that if I died or at the very least if I hurt myself badly enough then they would come to my aid and show how much they truly cared about me then after a serious talk we could try to work things out as a family, I was just about to stab myself in the chest then suddenly my aunt came walking down the hallway, she was thirsty and woke up to get a glass of water. She saw me with the knife in my hands and the disturbed look in my eyes." "So then she rushed towards you and got you to stop?" Misato quickly jumped towards him as she grabbed him by his shoulders almost as if she demanded that what she said be true. "no" Shinji said flatly. "She picked up a glass filled it up with water drank some and walked back to her room. I had always felt alone but that just destroyed me. " I thought about what I had to live for i knew that there was no point but I thought for a moment. why should I have to suffer for them. If I died then all that would do is make their life easier. I never did anything great but I knew that I deserved better than this. I put the knife down and stormed back to my room and cried myself to sleep. When I woke up in the morning my aunt and uncle just stared at me almost as if they expected me to be dead.
Everything was the same as usual after that, I never expected much out of my life so i just without expecting much, until I got a call from my father. You can't imagine how happy I was at first, but as the days went by and i began to wait for you to pick me up from the designated area my father assigned me to, things just didn't feel right. Then I met you, and well you know the story from there." Misato could only look at the poor boy in disbelief, After all the abuse, abandonment, and cruelty that he has to endure, he still never used that as an excuse to hurt people (unlike a certain pig headed German girl who acted like the whole world belonged to her and if she didn't get what she wanted then she would rain hell on whoever dared to not give her what she demanded) , and was one of the most gentle and caring people that she had ever known. "He's a saint" thought Misato. As tears flooded her eyes Misato could only bring herself to give Shinji a gentle hug. "I never Knew" she said, "Why didn't you tell me sooner?" "Misato I didn't want you to treat me different , just because you felt sorry for me. I was hoping for a fresh new start in a new town with a new life. "Shinji" Misato cooed "your not the only one who's been hurt." "both my parents died when I was fourteen, it was when second impact occurred." "I was in Antarctica with my parents and a research group when all of a sudden it happened." " My father had neglected me my whole life and just when I thought that we were all going to die together as a family he placed me of all people in a pod that allowed me to survive, but only a part of me was able to endure what I had seen." The rest of me just dozed away into a shell of what I used to be." I had to suffer through such intense emotional pain, that for one full year I was placed in a mental ward unable to speak, unable to move, unable to breath." This was news to Shinji he thought he had it bad, and he did but listening to Misato's pitiful and degrading experiences made him realize that the world is full of evil. It doesn't just have to be angels, The monsters who killed Kajis friends those disgusting excuse for police men who murdered Kaji's friends in cold blood when he was fourteen just because they were stealing whatever food they could find to survive. Gendo the monster who took away Shinji's best friend Toji and made him a pariah at school, and now he saw her standing their weeping, not crying, weeping at the painful memories that her childhood contained. "Why me pondered Misato, he chose to save me of all people and before saying goodbye to me forever, he gave me this cross" She took out her pendant, and placed it on her bed. "That and this scar this fucking scar" She took her shirt off and began to point to scowl angrily as she looked down. Shinji's Eyes had adjusted at this point, and he could see clearly what she was referring to. "It's a gift from second impact" stated Misato " A permanent reminder of my hatred to the angels and my dad." "Misato I didn't know your dad well enough to judge him, but he seems like a good person I mean he saved your life." "But at what cost Shinji he knew that by saving me I would live a hard life, he knew that I wasn't prepared to fend for myself, he knew that I would likely die." "Misato sometimes people only think bad about others because it's easier than excepting the truth."
"Your father gave you a chance, he saved your life." "That's more than I can say for my dad." "I can tell that you feel terrible about what happened, but maybe your only exaggerating how you felt about your dad so that you don't have to feel so much pain" "Shinji" Said a watery eyed Misato. "He was there for you when you needed him he protected you, to me he sounds like a hero." "Misato was still crying she gently held Shinji by his torso and gave him a hug as he grabbed her strong back and began to coddle with her.
"Maybe your right Shinji, maybe he just wanted to make it up to me by saving my life at the cost of his own" I still can't decide whether I hated or loved him but what he did for me will never go away" Shinji and Misato had done it they had been able to talk about the most agonizung things that they could remember and to Shinji's knowledge it was making things better. He wouldn't dare to think that this personal information would be used to hurt him he was just so happy that there was at least one person, just one person on this hell hole that he called earth who could understand and appreciate his struggles. They had never felt this way before after all they had been through on this very night they felt as if everything would be right from now on.
"Look Misato it's getting late we should be going to bed." "Your rite we should" As Misato and Shinji now so happy and so close to each other even on a platonic level got to know more about one another the Major decided that it would be alright to let shinji sleep with her that night. Shinji had felt a bit nervous, but after what they had just gone through they deserved to be together. While Shinji was smiling and went to bed happy he was so happy to know that their was a person who he could love and would love him back Misato's anger grew ever more present. She knew that whoever took care of Shinji before her must have treated him badly, but this was just plain sick. "I will never forgive you" were her last thoughts before dozing off into dreamland. "God will punish you like the monsters that you are." She quickly dozed off and waited for tomorrow. Together in bed they were both smiling they had every rite to be happy with one another even if such feelings were not meant to last.
As they both went to bed a pair of red bangs had creped out from the door that Misato had left open. "So that's how it is huh" said the red devil "Poor little Shinji had a tragic past and he gets special treatment, well I just can't wait to see what happens when lover boy here is treated to a surprise greeting from everyone at NERV. Asuka quickly grabbed a camera and took some pictures of Misato in various stages of undress sleeping with Shinji. "Sleep well Baka tonight is the last night of solace you get."