Jon wishes he were cooler.
Jon sighs. Just this morning two of his kids have told him they hate him and that he is a terrible father. He goes to a lunch meeting with some of his ministers in a grumpy mood and they bicker for hours until the food gets cold. Jon doesn't mind. He's lost his appetite. His appetite for life.
Gary asks him what's up after they all leave, and Jon sighs heavily. It's just a bad day.
Gary thinks it's not just a bad day, though. Jon is shocked. Has Gary noticed? Has Gary noticed that he's been off for weeks? That he's in a slump? That maybe he's not cut out for this "King Business" after all?
It turns out Gary has. Jon sighs even louder. He begs Gary to tell him what to do.
Gary doesn't know. But he has some suggestions. In a numbered list, ordered by most likely to least likely to work.
It's long.
Jon doesn't think he has time to read it all, but he skims the first couple anyways. Otherwise Gary might feel underappreciated.
1. Get a more expensive, flashier horse.
Jon likes this one. Horses are pretty. And fast. Jon likes fast.
2. Exercise more. Drink less.
This one doesn't sound very fun, but he guesses Gary might have a point. Look what happened to Raoul.
3. Update wardrobe.
Cool. But Jon's already done that. He looks good.
4. Have sex. With wife. Or mistress. Not picky.
Been there, done that. Thayet seems to be more and more critical. His mistress sadly agrees. The grateful awe period gets shorter and shorter these days. Maybe he should get a new mistress?
5. Brush hair forward to cover receding hairline.
That bitch! Jon puts the list down and politely tells Gary to shove it somewhere. Gary will know where.
Gary stomps off in a huff, telling him he could always start a war. He's good at that, right?
Jon sighs. Again. Everyone wants a piece of him.
He calls up Carthak on their little communication scrying thing and asks them for a 60 hike in export duties if they want to keep using the waters to trade their goods in Tortall. Times are tough, you know and everyone's feeling the pinch. Peace-time's over, can't be helped.
Cousin Gary's going to regret this one, Jon chuckles.
o-o-o-o-o