Summary: ShuAke Confidant Week Day 2: Compatibility. Two awkward fifteen and fourteen year old boys don't know how to friendship: the fic.
Note: Joker and Akechi shenanigans back when Ren was an RL phantom thief. There is more suffering than should be, but they're too dumb and proud to open up to each other, so suffering it is.
Warnings: The Birth Of Akechi's Anger Management Issues, [Ren Voice] How Do You Approach Someone To Become Friends With Them Asking For A Friend, The Start Of Akechi's Journey Into Tantei-san-hood, The Whirlwind Portion Of Ren's Life Back When He Used To Moonlight As A Phantom Thief.
Disclaimer: Don't own P5.
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Joker frowned as he observed the police force gathered to arrest him; according to his research, it was the usual size the police would assign for a heist, which was expected given that this was Joker's first heist.
What he was more interested in was if any Detectives showed up.
Through the pair of binoculars he used to observe the police, he spied a teen who looked around his age, brown haired, and red-eyed. The teen stood a distance away from the police officers who either gave him side-glances, or didn't pay him any attention at all.
Joker titled his head to the side in consideration as he put away his binoculars, wondering what the other teen was doing around Joker's targeted building. He looked curious enough about what was happening around him, but he definitely didn't look interested.
Not in the way Joker would have wanted him to be if this teen was a detective or part of the force. Which was most likely the case, as there was no one connected to Joker's target who looked anything like (or was anywhere close in age to) the other teen.
He tapped at his lips with a finger and his frown deepened.
A prodigy detective? It was a high possibility given his apparent young age. New to the scene? Completely, given the lack of tension (or rare cooperation) between him and the police force; they were annoyed at his presence, sure, but not the kind of annoyed that resulted from being constantly upstaged by him.
Not interested in the whole heist? Oh, absolutely.
Joker ground his teeth together; he'd done his research, he'd attended multiple heists, he'd heard many tales from other phantom thieves to recognize a detective completely intrigued by the thief.
But this teen? This teen didn't come to the heist because he was intrigued, but because he had ulterior motives.
Joker's luck was downright terrible if this was the kind of adversary he'd face on his very first heist.
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(The first thing he did when the heist started was to deviate from his plan and take a detour to tie up the teen and throw him in a closet for cleaning supplies before he returned to his intended target for the night.)
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A few days after the heist, Joker found himself digging for information about his unfortunate rope victim.
Akechi Goro, age fifteen, an aspiring amateur detective who helped the police on a few simple cases, apparently interested in chasing down phantom thieves.
Joker made a note of Akechi's address and contact information.
For future reference, naturally.
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The next heist, Akechi showed up again, eyes glinting in determination, and Joker, irked, had gone in and taped him to a wall (after the rope plan failed- Tantei-san seemed to have predicted it, this time). It cost him precious time, but the little detective's suppressed growls and glares were worth it.
He regretted it only a smidgen when the police almost caught him on his way to the roof.
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(By the time he was back home, he was already plotting his next heist. Soon, soon, he would drive Akechi away from his heists, and then the real fun would begin.)
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A net, more rope, handcuffs, more tape, a memorable try with glitter, blindfolds, chains, etc…
No matter how many times Akechi maneuvered out of Joker's plan to tie him up and throw him into some obscure corner, Joker did his absolute best to still catch Akechi off-guard in his web of tricks.
It was childish, it was petty, it was a waste of time, but Joker didn't care.
(He denied enjoying the little shenanigans, the thrill that would flood his entire being every time Akechi successfully evaded him, the elation he felt every time Akechi made his way out of a heist completely unscathed, the giddiness that would burst into his chest every time Akechi got close to capturing him.)
What did it matter that he was now completely filling up his schedule with successive heists? What did it matter that heist prep took over his life? What did it matter that he barely slept as he poured over strategies to out-maneuver Tantei-san?
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(He snuck into Akechi's place once (lies- multiple times), and made himself comfortable with Akechi's phone, leaving him ridiculous messages sending him on wild hunts around town.)
.
He didn't realize how detrimental to his health and success his schedule was until he found himself fall short of a jump on his last leg of his escape route, until he found his fingers unable to hold onto the ledge he'd miraculously caught when he couldn't land where he intended to land, and he tumbled down to the fire-escape below, arms trembling as he clutched onto its railing.
The shrill cry of rage Akechi had let out that day was sobering, so was the slew of expletives that followed after as Akechi verbally skinned him alive.
It was Joker's cue to take a step back and re-evaluate his situation (and his self).
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He went on hiatus.
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It was strange, confining himself to living a normal civilian life for his self-imposed break. His hands itched to make tools, itched to look up new heist locations, itched to plan for his next target. But every time he'd be close to giving into the temptation, he'd remember the night he almost failed his escape, and his failure almost cost him dearly, he'd remember Akechi's angry voice and seething words, and he'd clench his fists tightly.
Not now, he'd tell himself, not until he would be ready again.
(He wondered if he would ever be ready again, the same way he was ready before? Definitely not. But who knew what the future might bring…)
The only thing he'd allowed himself was to keep up with was news on the phantom thieving front.
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Bishop: Joker!
Bishop: come and take back your detective!
Bishop: he's terrorizing my heists!
Bishop: and my task force!
Bishop: and my DETECTIVE
Joker: I see he's having fun
Bishop: TAKE HIM BACK
Joker: Sorry I'm on hiatus
Bishop: JOKER
Lady: he's terrorizing my detective too
Lady: but my detective likes it
Lady: says they think lil' 'Kechi-chan is so cute when he's vicious
Ace: Lady
Ace: honey
Ace: sweetie
Ace: your detective likes YOU
Ace: of course they'll like Akechi-kun too
Lady: shhhhh
Lady: nobody asked for your opinion
Nobody: true
Lady: SHHHHH
Bishop: BACK ON THE TOPIC AT HAND
Bishop: Joker
Bishop: please
Nobody: oh my
Lady: HE SAID PLEASE
Ace: I think I like this Akechi-kun too
Ace: anyone who can get Bishop to break down and beg is fine by me
Joker: I'm on hiatus
Bishop: GET OFF HIATUS THEN
Joker: rude
Bishop: JOKER
Joker: fine
Joker: you owe me
Bishop: ….
Bishop: what have I done
Lady: whoops!
Ace: a grave mistake
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A couple of weeks after that particular group chat conversation, Joker emerged with a new heist target, a heist plan, and a calling card.
Joker was back in action, and he was planning to have the police scramble to catch up with him.
Not like he cared anyway; he had two targets for this heist: a jewel, and a detective.
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It was strange to see Akechi again after Joker's period of absence.
Gone was the soft look and gentle air about him that he always tried to maintain as a public mask, replaced with a firm expression and sharp movements, as if his true self had been unveiled.
Whatever Akechi had gone through during Joker's absence, what drove him to chase after thief after thief with renewed vigor, with surprising ruthlessness and stubbornness, what pushed him to make himself more prominent in his work instead of just some obscure amateur detective helping out here and there, Joker didn't know. But he could certainly appreciate the end result.
(He had a nagging feeling that his blunder in his latest heist played a big part in it.)
(He wasn't about to let Akechi one-up him, however, because Akechi wasn't the only one out of the two of them returning to their chases with enthusiasm.)
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After the heist ended, Joker found himself standing at a rooftop away from the heist location, admiring the way his heist target glittered in the moonlight.
He'd almost been caught at least six different times throughout the heist, a number of close calls higher than any of his previous heists where he'd almost get caught maybe once or twice.
It was his most exhilarating heist yet.
The door to the stairwell creaked as it opened, and Joker could hear an annoyed huff from inside of it as he hid the jewel in his hand inside his coat and turned to witness the door being shoved open without a care about how loud it was.
Tantei-san rolled his eyes as he stepped through the doorway to stand a couple of meters away from where Joker stood balanced on the railing.
Tantei-san gave him a once over, "It's you. You're back, and you're as bold and reckless as ever."
Joker merely grinned widely at him in response.
Tantei-san cocked his hip to the side and propped his fist on it, raising an unimpressed eyebrow, "Are you done being stupid, now?"
"Me?" Joker gasped dramatically, "Stupid? I think you're mistaking me with someone else."
Akechi's eyebrow climbed higher on his forehead, "I take it back. You're still as stupid as ever."
Joker clutched at his chest over his heart, "I'm hurt."
Tantei-san narrowed his eyes, "If you keep this up, you will be seriously hurt."
Joker threw his head back and laughed.
Oh, this was fun.
This. This was the detective he'd hoped for when he started moonlighting as a phantom thief a few months ago.
"What's so amusing?" Tantei-san growled, stomping forward towards Joker, "Tell. Me."
"Maybe next time." Joker chuckled as he pushed off the railing, allowing his body to tilt back and drop off the roof. Twisting his body mid-air, he landed in a crouch on the rooftop of the building right next to the one he'd been on top of.
Raising his head, he saw Tantei-san leaning over the railing, hands clutching it in a tight grip, mouth slack in shock that quickly morphed into anger, "You are such an idiot!" He hissed.
Joker chuckled as he gracefully rose to his feet and sprinted to the other end of the roof, "See ya!"
Tantei-san's subsequent roar of rage was music to his ears.
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It was a shame that, from the very beginning, Joker had only ever been meant to be a temporary gig with limited number of targets (fake heists to rile Tantei-san up not included), because that meant he had to put Joker away at some point, hang him up in the closet like a coat he had no need to wear anymore.
It meant he had to leave people he'd grown close to through his time as a phantom thief.
(Except it was somewhat inaccurate to say 'people' when he only referred to a single person.)
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His last heist went on like usual, with no extra fanfare or dramatics on his part, with no indication to the heist's finality.
Joker felt no triumph when he slipped away nearly unscathed with his target safely in his possession.
"Joker!" A voice called out to him, and he stopped in place, merely turning his body enough to peek over his shoulder and meet the stare of the person who followed him.
He didn't need to look to know who it was anyway, because there was no way he wouldn't recognize his detective's voice.
"Tantei-san." Joker inclined his head, and Tantei-san frowned.
"What's gotten into you?" Akechi barked, "Something is wrong, and I can't figure out what it is. So. Tell me."
"Do you really want to know?"
Tantei-san hesitated before nodding firmly, and Joker chuckled, a little melancholic. With a shake of his head, he turned around to face Akechi fully.
He hummed, "I believe I can tell you that, with today's heist, I have accomplished something I have set out to do."
Tantei-san looked alarmed, and Joker allowed a faint smile to slip into his face.
"Until we meet again, Tantei-san." Joker turned around, throwing a wave over his shoulder with one hand, while launching the grapple hook he had on him with the other to latch onto the railing surrounding the roof of the nearest building and using it to launch himself to the roof.
"Wait!" Akechi called again, "I said, wait! What do you mean by that?! Joker!"
Joker hadn't escaped from a heist site faster than he had in that moment in his whole life.
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The moment he snuck back home, he put the pendant he stole that day into a non-descript box, so that it would be ready for transport.
His phone chimed with an incoming message and he reached for it to unlock the screen.
It was a message from Nobody, short and to the point.
[Open your door.]
He locked his phone and went to open the door, still dressed fully as Joker. Outside in the corridor, a figure stood, dressed in black robes that hid every single detail of their body, with the hood up covering most of their face, with the only part showing being covered with a blank, white mask.
Silently, Joker handed them the box, and they nodded at him before disappearing down the corridor.
He'd done his part, and it was not his business anymore; his grandfather could rest in peace now knowing that all the items stolen from him as he transported them were returned to their true owners.
He sighed as he locked the door and double checked that the window had its curtains drawn before he started taking off his clothes and returning them to their boxes to be hidden away, never to be used again.
The tailcoat, the shoes, the waistcoat, the pants, the blood-red gloves, and finally, his birdlike, black and white domino mask.
Pushing them away from him for a second, he looked at himself in the mirror.
There, stripped from his masks of confidence and boldness, Amamiya Ren stared back at him, and he was so, so tired.
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Basically retiring from being a phantom thief was both difficult and easy. It was just like when he went on hiatus, but in a more permanent fashion.
But it didn't make the feeling of loss and missing Tantei-san's presence in his life any easier.
Ren had made sure he won't ever be tempted to use his Joker phone to get back in contact with Akechi for any reason whatsoever.
Which. Posed a problem.
He needed to get back into contact with Akechi, but he had to do it in a way that didn't hint at the fact that he was- had been Joker. He didn't know how well it would work when Akechi was involved, but he had to try.
So, extending an offer of friendship it was.
Which. Also posed a problem.
Akechi didn't really have any friends, Joker, and now Ren, knew about that better than anyone else, so Ren had to be very careful in introducing himself to Akechi, to make sure it looked casual and coincidental enough.
He'd need to ease Akechi into it, so it would take time before he could ask for Akechi's number or act freely around him.
All that remained was for Ren to gather the courage to approach Akechi.
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The next time Ren 'met' Akechi was three months later, and he'd never admit that it was completely accidental (calling it a meeting would be too generous), and that by that point he still hadn't gathered his courage to approach Akechi.
He'd accidentally bumped into him at a supermarket, of all places, both of them were browsing one of the aisles, coming from different directions, and so had accidentally collided when they attempted to keep walking without paying attention to where they stepped.
"My apologies," Akechi had murmured, clearly uninterested before his eyes landed on Ren and they sharpened immediately, mouth firming into a thin line curling downwards at the corners in dissatisfaction.
"You look ready to murder someone," Ren blurted, trying to ignore the sweat beading on his forehead, "Should I run?" He took a step back, but was stopped in place when Akechi clamped a hand down on his forearm, grip unyielding.
"No." Akechi's lips twitched into a chilling smile, "I'd very much rather you not run away." His smile stretched, showing off his teeth, "I don't bite. I promise."
"Uh-huh," Ren said, skeptical expression showing how little he believed Akechi's supposed promise (he'd almost been bitten by Akechi once before, as Joker, and no he wouldn't like a retry, thanks but no thanks).
"My name is Akechi Goro." Akechi continued smiling widely, "What's your name."
"Uh. Um." Ren shifted in place, and was rewarded with Akechi's grip tightening on his arm, "Amamiya Ren."
"Ren-kun. Such a delightful name."
"You too, I guess… Goro-san."
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End
Goro: [tries to quietly open the door to not make any sound]
Door: [creaks]
Goro: [shoves door] well fuck you too