K belongs to GoRA
Title: Words That Meant Nothing
Notes: (1) This is a ficcional work, elements of the original work can be altered for better compatibility with this story.
(2) This story contains yaoi / shounen-ai, if you don't like, press (x) at the top of the page to exit.
(3) English is not my first language, sorry my grammar.
I hope you enjoy!
"You are awesome."
"We're best friends and I want to be by your side forever."
"We're going to make a different world for us."
It was Yata's words, full of admiration, affection, and hope, and he repeated them so often that it was boring, but Fushimi didn't care. Even if his friend repeated the words to exhaustion, he liked them.
They were simple words that filled his heart with a comfortable feeling, something close to a happiness he had never experienced. Something different from his mother's absence and his father's dark presence, something that made him feel loved and safe. And he loved the way Misaki's eyes sparkled with enthusiasm as he said those words no matter how many times he repeated them.
They got older, joined the HOMRA, and the words went on. Misaki still repeated how much he found Saruhiko awesome, even though that word was used much more often to talk about Mikoto; and Misaki still said that they were best friends and would be together forever, even though he had facility to make new friends, especially Kamamoto; and Misaki still said that they would make the world a different place, even if he simply accepted HOMRA's ideals like yours, without even arguing.
Slowly, even though those words were still repeated almost daily, they seemed increasingly distant from their original meaning, and less and less that warm and comfortable feeling filled Saruhiko's heart.
Fushimi began to believe that Yata's words meant nothing.
=8=
"Traitor."
"I hate you."
"Why did you leave HOMRA?"
It was Yata's words, filled with disgust, hatred, and indignation, and he repeated them so often that it sounded like a mantra, but Fushimi didn't care. Even if the former friend repeated words to exhaustion, he liked them.
They were simple words that filled his heart with a feeling he knew very well, which reminded him very much of his mother's indifference and his father's contempt, which made him feel so bad, but it was a familiar feeling that reminded him of what kind of person Saruhiko really was, and sweet, hopeful words from the past were not intended for him. And he loved the way Misaki's eyes glittered with hatred as he said those words, because at last, he had the attention of the shorter boy turned to him.
And the year passed, and Fushimi climbed several positions inside Scepter 4 and the hateful words continued. Misaki still repeated that Saruhiko was a traitor, although it was visible how he took part of it as his own fault; and Misaki still repeated how much he hated Saruhiko, although it was clear that there had never been hatred there; and Misaki still wondered why Saruhiko had left HOMRA, even though he desperately wanted to ask why his friend had abandoned him.
Slowly, even if those words were repeated every time they met, they seemed increasingly distant from their original meaning and less and less that uncomfortable, yet familiar, feeling filled Saruhiko's heart. As if they were still best friends.
Yata couldn't keep up his hatred and contempt, even if he flaunted it all over. Fushimi was sure that Yata's words meant nothing.
=8=
"I'll just say this once, so pay close attention. I love you."
And despite what Yata had initially said, he would repeat those three words each time they met, hoping Saruhiko would give him a positive answer.
They were simple words that filled Fushimi's heart with a feeling he had never felt able to feel. Every time he heard a 'I loved you', he was filled with happiness and contentment that didn't seem to fit in his chest. It was a whole new feeling that his parents would never be able to provide, nor anyone else. He knew only Misaki would own his heart. And he loved the way Misaki's eyes glittered with anticipation and desire.
The days passed and Fushimi never gave a proper answer, he smiled and turned away from the question because he felt he was not ready to hear his own voice saying those three words. But the fingers intertwined, and the stolen kisses were enough fuel for Yata to repeat those words more and more.
And there they were, in the HOMRA bar, the place was crowded and the lively music that filled the atmosphere, Yata was talking to Kamamoto and the others, while Fushimi just watched, feeling dislocated and excluded, as he had always felt inside HOMRA.
Misaki's hand intertwined with his under the table and the smaller one leaned, muttering a sensual 'I love you' that only Saruhiko could hear.
Fushimi could see through those words, how much Misaki longed to have Saruhiko for himself. The "I love you too" curled up on the tip of his tongue and almost took shape, almost. Because Saruhiko knew that Yata's words meant nothing.
N/T: I know SaruMi had a happy ending and still friends, but I love bittersweet stories.
Thank you for reading.
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