Disclaimer: I do not own the wonderful characters that Stephenie Meyer has created.
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I watched as Edward leaped down from my window and disappeared into the dark night--back to his house with his family.
Instead of thinking about what had just happened earlier that day with the motorcycles or even of Edward, I thought about Jacob. His face... full of pain, and all because of me. I wanted to call him--or even go over to Billy's house to see him, but I knew that Jacob had already given up on me. He had given up on his promise--and probably given up on his feelings for me. I had been cruel--Mike was right. I had led Jacob on for my own selfish reasons, and now all I wanted to do was confront Jacob--talk and tell the truth.
Why had I really gone to his house the day I had gotten those motorcycles--was it really because I knew he could fix them up cheap?
No--it had been much more than that. I had been trying to find a way to fix myself--make myself feel stronger...
And in the process, I had fallen in love. Maybe nothing like the love I felt for Edward...but deep down, I knew--I recognized that I did feel a love, a certain love for Jacob Black.
Maybe if he only knew that--maybe then our friendship wouldn't be so hard to deal with.
But was that really what he and I had been? Just friends? I thought about all those times on the beach--talking and holding hands--how dare I classify that as "just being friends."
How could I have expected Jacob to take it in that sense as well. I had been stupid and naive--blind by my own pain--not to see his.
I leaned against my window and hoped--maybe even prayed silently that Jacob was close by--that he would see and know--and maybe find the inner strength to come and confront me--find me...so we could talk. I didn't know how Edward would take it--if he really knew and understood how much I missed my best friend...but I wouldn't deal with that now...
I sat down on my bed and waited.
I knew I couldn't wait forever...
But I would at least sit here patiently and see--hope--and wait…