AN: Just a silly One-shot to make you laugh! :D
Tsunade was in her office doing her written work as usual. The Leaf was extremely quiet and had been for the last few days, so according to Shizune, it was the perfect time to get some files done rather than go relaxing in the hot springs like Tsunade had intended to do. She sighed heavily and turned around on her chair to look out of the big window so she could see the whole village. Tsunade loved being Hokage but the paper work sucked ass in her opinion. Her eyes trailed from one end of the village to the other as she took in the magnificent sight before her.
Tsunade was bored out of her mind and would do anything to get out of doing the rest of the paper work. It was a humid day and her office was boiling hot, therefore, she had took her green haori off and hung it over the edge of the chair, revealing her slender arms. Crossing her legs, she leaned back in the chair and shut her eyes. She thought that it was such a peaceful day and the last thing she wanted was to spend it trapped in her office. She let her head drop to the side and rest on her shoulder and kept her eyes loosely shut.
After about a minute of silence, she felt another person's presence in the room and opened her eyes slightly to see Jiraiya's reflection in the window, sneaking over to her slowly. Tsunade smiled to herself and closed her eyes again, still pretending to be asleep when he walked quietly towards her and stood in front of her. He stood there for about 20 seconds before Tsunade decided to make the first move.
"Jiraiya, you do know that it's rude to stare!" Tsunade told him, loud enough to make him jump a little, opening her eyes and looking up at him as she did so, making eye contact with him.
"I-I wasn't staring. . ." He replied to her sheepishly, looking out of the window and braking their eye contact.
"Well, I wouldn't expect anything else from a big ol' pervert like you anyway." She states cheekily, smirking a little, knowing that it wouldn't offend him. Tsunade tapped his leg with her foot in a flirty way, knowing that it meant nothing, well, at least not to her. "So what brings you up here?" She asked politely, crossing her arms over her chest.
"So I'm not allowed to visit the most beautiful woman in the world any more?" He asked her acting hurt and he held his hands up to his heart. Looking down at her again, he grinned making her chuckle.
"Not if she has a lot of work to do." Replied Tsunade standing up and walking around to the other side of her desk, Jiraiya watching her ass sway from side to side as she did so. She spun around and glared at him, leaning on her hands that she had placed on her desk. "So, if that's all you came for, can you leave? Shizune will have my head if she catches me 'not doing my job.'" She tells him whilst doing quotation marks with her hands. Jiraiya let out a laugh and dropped his head.
"I never knew Shizune had it in her to say such words, especially to you!" Jiraiya told her whilst he raised an eyebrow.
*At the entrance to the Hokage tower*:
"Shizune! Have you seen pervy-sage anywhere? We were training and he just sort of wondered off whilst I was practising a new move!" Naruto asked Shizune who was having a tea break outside the Hokage tower, holding a mug in her right hand a plate in her left.
"No I haven't, sorry Nauto." She told him, looking down to see his disappointed face. "Maybe Tsunade-sama will know, even though it is highly unlikely." Shizune suggested as she tried to get the little boys hopes up. Kakashi couldn't help but listen in to their conversation as he was walking past after another race around the village with Guy. This time, he 'let' Guy win, but that was only because some of their old friends were holding him back for most of the time. "Oh, hi Kakashi!" Shizune called over to him, waving her arm and blushing a little. Naruto turned around to see his sensei and waved with Shizune. Kakashi, smirked under his mask and started to walk over to them. Luckily he had no mission to get on with.
"Hey guys, why are you both standing around?" He asked once he was in front of them both.
"Looking for pervy-sage." Naruto replied and sighed in defeat.
"Just having a break." Shizune told him simply, rather than go into details. "Ughh, I should see how Tsunade-sama getting on with her paper work, I told her that she couldn't go out anywhere or do anything until he had finished all of it." She told the boys as she rested her mug onto the little plate.
"I'll come with you, I need to find pervy-sage. As you said, Granny might know." Naruto told her, hopefulness filled his eyes.
"Alrighty then. Kakashi, do you want to come?" Shizune asked his as he faced her with heavy eyes.
"Yeah, sure. I'll ask if there's any missions that I could do. I'm bored out of my mind here. Seriously, I just raced Guy around the village!" he complained and shrugged his shoulders, placing his hands into his pockets. They all started to walk into the tower, with no idea what they were going to uncover. . .
*In Tsunade's office*:
"Well, she can and she does. What's a girl supposed to do?" She asked him jokily. He chuckled slightly and she gave out a little giggle.
"I miss this." Jiraiya stated and Tsunade gave him a questioning look, asking him silently to continue. "I mean, I miss just talking. No work, no one interrupting, just talking. . ." He told her, looking into her amber eyes.
"Oh. . ." Is all the she could make out, looking down to her desk and sighing. "Jiraiya, listen. I really like talking to you too and I do miss the little conversations we have." She told him and started to walk around her desk so she could be close to him. But before she could make it all the way around, she knocked her foot on the edge of her desk and tripped over. Jiraiya's instincts kicked in and he lunged out for her so that he could catch her. However, being an idiot sometimes had its disadvantages and he fell over with her, their hands brushing for only a second. Tsunade let out a little shriek as they fell.
He landed on top of her in a heap, their faces only millimetres apart. His left hand was rested on her right breast and his right hand was resting on her thigh, dangerously high. His legs were placed in-between hers and his 'member' was obviously aroused. Tsunade had both of her hands lightly placed on either side of his hips and her knees were bent so that her feet lay flat on the floor. Her hair was sprawled across the floor. Both of their cheeks turned a deep shade of pink and they started to breathe rapidly. As if their position wasn't bad enough, Shizune, Naruto and Kakashi came through the door. They were chatting between themselves and suddenly stopped once they saw the sight before them. A few moments of silence passed Tsunade and Jiraiya turned their heads to face the trio awkwardly.
"Yo, are we interrupting something?" Naruto asked, a cheeky grin spread across his face.
"Tsunade-sama!" Shizune screamed, covering her mouth with her hands. Jiraiya quickly pulled himself off of Tsunade and stood up, also allowing her to do so. They were both very red in the cheeks from all of the embarrassment. All of their clothes were scrunched up and they looked a mess. They stood next to each other and in less than 10 seconds, Tsunade spun around and slapped him across the face in one swift motion, staring down at the ground. Naruto, Shizune and Kakashi looked as if they were about to burst out in laughter.
"What do you three want then?" Tsunade asked them as she brushed herself off, scowling at them.
"I was looking for you pervy-sage!"
"I was checking if there were any missions that I could help with."
"I was actually checking if you were getting on with your work, Tsunade-sama. But then we walk onto you two doing that! Everyone knew that you were close, but no one expected that you were this close!" Shizune stated and all three of them giggled. Tsunade narrowed her eyes and picked up a book at random off of her desk and chucked it at Shizune's head. "OWWW!" Cried Shizune as she stroked her head. Everyone laughed at her and even Shizune chuckled herself.
"Well Naruto, Jiraiya's here and we were just discussing some things. Kakashi, sorry but there are no missions! There's not even any D ranked missions. And Shizune, I assure you that before Jiraiya interrupted me, I was getting on with the paper work you told me to get on with." Tsunade told them individually, trying to get them off topic. "If that's all you three want, can you please leave? Me and Jiraiya have to discuss a few things." She asked them, clenching her fists and holding them up. The blood from Jiraiya's face drained and he mouthed 'help' to them which only make them laugh.
"Take me with you!" He said in nothing but a whisper as they made their way out of her office, sniggering to themselves. Kakashi shut the door behind them and they basically fell over laughing.
"Well, that was awkward." Tsunade told him, sitting back in her chair.
"Which part? The way we landed or the three of them walking in on us like that?" He asked her, raising his eyebrows.
"Both!" She replied.
"Sorry about that though, I never meant to land on you or have my hands anywhere inappropriate. . ." He trailed off as he lifted his hand behind his head in an apologetic way. Knowing the situation was getting awkward again, he looked up to the ceiling and exhaled.
"It's okay, you never meant to. Well, at least I hope you never meant to." She told him with a small smile. "But thank you for trying to catch me."
"No problem. But if you wanted to carry on from where we left off back there, we could always, you know, carry on." He suggested to her cheekily, but with seriousness in his voice. Tsunade rolled her eyes, Jiraiya never knew what was going to happen next. . .
*At the entrance to the Hokage tower*:
Naruto, Shizune and Kakashi barely made it down the stairs because they were cackling all the way.
"Oh My Gosh, I'm gonna threaten Tsunade to make her do all of her paper work by threatening to tell everybody what we just witnessed!" Shizune told the boys, wiping a tear away with her sleeve.
"I'm just going to tell everybody that anyway!" Kakashi shouted happily.
"Sorry, but that was just too funny. I can't believe that Granny and Pervy-sage would go at it right in her office, they didn't even lock the door!" Naruto said, doubling over with laughter.
"Alright then, I guess I'll see you guys later. I need to challenge Guy to a re-" Kakashi started but was unable to finish when they heard glass shattering and saw Jiraiya fly over their heads, letting out a scream. Little pieces of glass landed on the three and in their hair and Jiraiya landed half way across the village with a jolt. Shizune gasped and the three looked at each other in shock.
"What the hell?!" Naruto shouted as they looked up to Tsunade's office to see Tsunade standing next to where the window used to be with her fist clenched.
"HEY! TSUNADE, WHAT WAS THAT FOR? Jiraiya asked her trying to sound innocent. She couldn't even see him because of how far away he was. Villagers gathered around him and chattered amongst themselves.
"FOR BEING SUCH A GOD DAMMED PERVERT! DO YOU HONESTLY THINK I WANTED TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU?" She replied trying to sound calm. The villagers were shocked by her choice of language and the fact that Jiraiya suggested they did it.
"WELL, NO. BUT IT WAS A SUGGESTION."
"YOU'RE JUST LUCKY THAT I DIDN'T BREAK ANYTHING THIS TIME! OH MY GOD! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU! YOU KNEW WHERE YOUR HANDS WERE AND YOU DIDN'T EXACTLY MOVE THEM!"
"OH COME ON! WE FELL OVER AND MY HANDS ACCIDENTLY LANDED SOMEWHERE. YOUR BLOUSE DIDN'T EXACTLY FLY OPEN, DID IT?" Jiraiya defended himself but only managing to get a book thrown at him by Tsunade. It hit him right in the head like it did with Shizune. "OWWWW. TSUNADE! HOW DID YOU EVEN LEARN TO THROW LIKE THAT?" He asked her, chuckling a little. He picked up the book and read the cover of it. A massive smile spread across his face and he burst out laughing at what book it was. "WAIT, TSUNADE! YOU READ MY 'ICHA ICHA' BOOKS?"