Forgotten gifts rewrite chapter one:
Hello all. it was brought to my attention that my story was having trouble getting read because of font and typing errors so I rewrote the first chapter, fixed the errors and rough dialog and all so… gomen nasai for taking so long and arigato gozaimasu for your understanding. So without any further delay. On with the story!
As day light shone down upon a beautiful Japanese country home a certain needless main character was snoozing heavily in his darkened upstairs room. Tendrils of sunlight searched for an opening in the curtains and landed squarely on the closed eye of our main character. Tenchi masaki by name, high schooler by law, prince by heritage, main character seemingly by accident.
As Tenchi's eyes opened from his dream he found himself wishing he had installed blackout curtains so he could sleep more. As he thought this he was suddenly thrown from his bed as the sound of an explosion tore through the early morning air. "GIVE THAT BACK YOU PURPLE HAIRED HUSSY!" a cyan haired girl flew out of a fresh hole in the wall chasing after a purple haired girl dressed in a long kimono. "NEVER! YOU LEAVE LORD TENCHI ALONE! I don't even want to know what you were planning to do with this." She said indicating the large coil of knotted rope she had taken from the cyan haired girl."Don't ask, won't tell little princess…" she bristled at the taunt "besides Ayeka, if I told you half of what I was planning your virgin ears would probably explode." "Ryoko! Why you-!" before she could finish Tenchi yelled down "would you stop fighting? It's too early for this! Jeez!" Ayeka bowed, instantly contrite and said "Gomen nasai, Tenchi –san." "Yeah sorry 'bout that Tenchi. I was planning to wake you up in a more interesting way but miss goody- goody over here got in the way." She sneered at the princess. Tenchi heaved a sigh and closed the window as they started arguing again. "Those two never stop do they? Oh well… hey what time is it? Shit! 8:30! Grandpa's gonna kill me!" Tenchi hurriedly got dressed (if you call putting two legs in one pant leg and your shirt on wrong dressed) and tried to run out the door. Failing this he fixed his clothes and left grabbing the bento box sasami had left on the counter with a note saying to have a good day. He smiled as he saw this and reminded himself to thank her later. As he ran out past the front door he almost collided with a certain diminutive scientist. "Hey watch it!" washu yelled before realizing who it was." Gomen nasai washu. I was on my way to see grandpa, guess I wasn't paying to much attention." At this he laughed nervously. "That's alright Tenchi." Washu said." Would you mind coming by the lab later I have something I need some help with." at this Tenchi went white as a sheet. "Well I …umm t-that is… I need to-"washu interrupted "thanks Tenchi I knew you'd understand, a genius' work is never done." she walked of without a backward glance leaving Tenchi to flee in terror. He did the first thing he could think of. He ran. He didn't even stop to think about where he was going. When he finally got tired he stopped to rest and saw that he had ended up in the clearing by ryoko's cave. "How did I get here?" He wondered." Man that sure is weird. Oh well might as well find a spot to sit and rest." Tenchi's eyes scanned the clearing and came to rest on something that looked out of place. It was a small clay shelf with a few sticks and weeds surrounding it. Tenchi cleared the debris away and realized where he had seen the shelf before. "I remember building this the day my mom died. I was going to give it to her to keep things in. I must have forgotten it when I left." in an effort to find happy thoughts he remembered the times he played in this same clearing. He remembered the stories his grandpa told him about the demon sealed away in the cave. He knew he should have been afraid but for some reason he never could stay away. He remembered playing with the girl he only recently realized was Ryoko. His favorite memory of all was the day he met her .tenchi closed his eyes and thought back to that warm summer day years before
-Flashback-
Little Tenchi ran on and on. He was trying to hide from grandpa so he wouldn't have to sweep those stupid shrine steps again. He didn't understand why grandpa was so strict; it was only a few leaves anyway. He saw they perfect hiding spot. The old clearing! Yeah! He'll never find me there! as he entered the glen he saw a girl of about seventeen standing there smiling at him. For some reason he felt like he knew her but he couldn't figure out why. Oh well he thought. Maybe she'll play with me. "hey!" he called." what's your name? Do you want to play with me? "The girl nodded happily and knelt to write something in the dirt. When she finished he read what she wrote. "So your name is Ryoko, hunh. Nice to meet you. My name is Tenchi." She bowed slightly at this. "Lets play" he said "tag! Your it!" his hand darted out to touch her but it passed right through! Tenchi's smile faded when he saw this. "w-what happened? My hand just… your…" he turned to run but the look on the girls face stopped him. "can you touch anything? " he asked. She shook her head sadly " wow . that must be lonely don't you have any friends?" again she shook her head. Tenchi thought for a moment then decided. " well then. Since you don't have any friends, can I be the first?" she stared at him in disbelief before pointing at him then herself, as if to say – you want to be friends with ME?- she nodded, beaming happily. In her excitement she almost hugged him but she stopped just in said." I promise , from know on as long as I'm around I will be your friend." She laughed seeing the determined look on his face. One that seemed out of place on the face of a seven year old. Soon they were both laughing. As the years went by they played more and more until one day Tenchi found out that he would be going to school in the city so he wouldn't be able to see Ryoko anymore. When he told her this and tried to, comfort her she ran away crying . when he searched for her she stayed hidden and wouldn't come out. He turned to leave but before he was totally out of the clearing he turned and said these words " Ryoko, I'll miss you."
- back to present day-
Tenchi blinked as he came back to himself. I wonder what would have happened if I had never left? Would all our adventures happened . Would I still have been surrounded by girls, or would I have made my choice by now?he began remembering all that had happened to him and his estranged " family" who sometimes acted like a circus of misfits and malcontents he remembered how he felt when he saw kagato hurt Ryoko just before he entered the fray. He thought about the secret joy (and absolute embarrassment) he felt soon after when he woke up to find her floating above his bed watching him sleep all night. At first he was nervous by the strange insanity of that. But when she said it was because she was protecting him he felt safer ( not that he would admit it to anyone.) over all , everything she did, even her disastrous cooking, seemed to drive home just how much she loved him. He suddenly realized that, though he didn't want the others to leave, Ryoko was absolutely irreplaceable to him. Now when he thought about which girl he would chose, the answer was blatantly obvious. There was only one who he would even consider (and he was way past considering). Ryoko the space pirate who stormed his mind and took his heart captive. As he came to this conclusion. He wondered how to break the news and, more importantly, would his insurance cover for the results? "Well only one thing to do." He turned and ran back to the house to find the girl he loved, as well as a copy of his insurance policy.
End of chapter 1.
So what did you guys' thing of the rewrite. I'm glad I finally got it finished because I really want people to see my work and comment on it, not just see the big font and typo's then run in terror. Anyway let me know what you think and if you see any typos' run on's ECT. Just let me know where and I'll fix them. Thanks. Mad props to hitoshi okuda!