A/N: I have been avoiding this site like the plague since Monday night because I wanted to put my ideas about what happened after the cliffhanger down first. I know there are probably loads of post Knockout fics, but give this one a chance? I'm not sure if it's a one shot or not. You guys tell me.

Oh and the title is based on Adele's (amazing) song "One and Only".

Hope you like it. And yeah, that finale, huh? I'm still blown away. Amazing.

Disclaimer: Castle is still not mine.

One and Only

He hated hospitals.

The smell made him feel sick. It reminded him that death was always present in that particular enclosed space, no matter how hard the doctors tried to save everyone. It was ironic, really, that the smell of death would get to him here when he spent half his time going to the morgue or to crime scenes. But here, in the waiting room, the smell seemed to be even stronger and it was all he could do not to empty his stomach in front of everyone.

He had liked it better when he wasn't feeling anything. When they had dragged him away from her, her warm blood soaking his hands, he had been numb. It had felt like everything was happening in slow motion and he had the distinct impression that it was all a dream. It had to be a dream. He had watched as the paramedics worked on her, putting pressure on the wound in her chest. He knew there was chaos all around him, but the only sound he could hear was his own heart still beating erratically.

The paramedics working on her were suddenly blocked from his view as his mother appeared in front of him, touching his face frantically, asking if he was hurt. He didn't know how her voice managed to cut through the fog in his brain, but he found himself shaking his head, only then realizing that his breath was coming out in short gasps. His chest felt so tight all of a sudden and the knot closing his throat seemed almost impossible to bear. He allowed his mother and daughter to lead him to the car, looking back in time to see Kate's limp body being put in the back of an ambulance.

He vaguely remembered Esposito telling them they were taking her to New York Presbyterian and that her father was riding in the ambulance with her. He still couldn't feel anything and wondered to himself if that was what it was like to be in shock. Alexis guided him into the car and he only looked out the window as they drove into the madness of New York traffic.

"Detective Beckett is a fighter, Dad. She's going to be alright, you'll see." He heard his daughter's soothing voice and blinked, turning his head to look at her. "Oh, Dad." He watched her expression change and just watched as she reached out and brushed his cheek.

He hadn't even realized he was crying.

Alexis took his hand in both of hers and rested her head on his shoulder, whispering what he was sure was soothing words, but he couldn't focus on them. His mind seemed to be stuck in a loop and all he could see was Kate's light slowly going out. His last words to her kept replaying in his mind and he wanted to convince himself that she had heard him, even though the rational side argued that she was probably too far gone.

It didn't matter, anyway. If this was it, if he lost her…

No, he didn't want to think that.

She had been in surgery for hours now. Josh happened to be at the hospital and promised he would keep them updated. He had been shocked to hear that they were at Captain Montgomery's funeral and looked hurt that Kate hadn't told him anything about it. If Castle had been in a position to feel anything, he probably would have felt that the scale was not in Motorcycle Boy's favor. But right then it didn't matter. Nothing mattered because his Kate was too close to die and he couldn't even bring himself to imagine what it would be like to live in a world without her.

Josh had been sitting with them for the past couple of hours. The last update he brought to them was that surgery was going as expected, but she wasn't out of the woods yet. The bullet had hit the right side of her chest, missing her coronary artery by an inch. Rick closed his eyes, hiding his face in his hands. He couldn't get the image of her eyes closing as she fell unconscious; tears streaming down her face as she looked like she was struggling to smile or maybe say something.

He felt a hand on his shoulder and looked up to find his mother offering him a cup of coffee. He didn't think he could keep anything down, but accepted the cup, anyway. His stomach was in knots and the smell of the hospital was slowly getting to him. His eyes found Josh as he sat on the opposite side of the room, his elbows resting on his knees. He looked like he was observing everyone else and, in a way, he felt bad for the guy. He was the outsider here, after all. Everyone else – the boys, Lanie, his mother, Alexis and Jim Beckett – these people were family.

His eyes met Rick's and they stared at each other for a moment. Castle tried to decipher what the look in his eyes meant, but he was too emotionally exhausted to try. To be honest, he didn't even care. He just wanted his Kate to be okay. Everything else he could deal with later.

His Kate.

He knew he had no right to even think like that, but he couldn't help it. He loved her with an intensity so great that took his breath away. He knew they had a chance, he was sure of it. And even if they didn't, he would be content to be in her life in any capacity she allowed him to, as long as he got to see her all the time.

Josh looked away first, stretching his legs in front of him, and Rick looked down at his hands. He had scrubbed them clean when they had gotten to the hospital, but he could still feel her blood sticking to his skin. He swallowed hard and tried to fight the image of her closing eyes playing in his mind again. He could hear an echo of his own voice telling her he loved her and that was enough to tighten the knot in his throat again.

He was trying to take deep, calming breaths when the surgeon entered the room. He was on his feet an instant before anyone else, his breath stuck midway to his lungs. This was it.

"Kate Beckett's family?" the surgeon called, taking his green scrub cap off his head.

He looked way too young to be a doctor. Castle was standing in front of him in a flash, vaguely aware that everyone else had gotten up too.

"How is she?" he heard Jim ask, his own voice seeming to be stuck in his throat.

"We got the bullet out, but the damage was quite severe. She lost a lot of blood, but she was lucky that one of her ribs deflected the bullet and it missed any major arteries near her heart. She's got a long way to go, but she should make a full recovery."

The young doctor smiled and the room seemed to be lighter all of a sudden with their collective relief. Rick felt like an enormous weight left his body and felt suddenly lightheaded. His feet seemed to start moving out of their own volition and carried him back to the chairs, as he sat back down and leaned forward, his head in his hands.

She was going to be okay.

She was still alive and he would be damned if he would let her out of his sight. There was no way he was going through this hell again. No way. He would protect her in any way he could, but he would not lose her again.

God, she was alive.

He let out a shaky breath and rubbed his face, only then realizing that his cheeks were wet. Swallowing hard, he brushed the tears away discreetly. There was no need to cry now. She was going to be okay.

They only allowed one visitor at a time and Rick chose to be the last one. He sent his mother and daughter home, promising to call if anything changed, and said goodbye to Ryan, Esposito and Lanie as they left after seeing her. Hours later, only he and Jim Beckett were left in the waiting room. Josh had excused himself after seeing Kate, saying he had a surgery to get to. Rick only half heartedly acknowledged that he was leaving and as he looked at Jim, he was sure Kate's father hadn't even heard the good doctor.

Jim hadn't met Josh and it had been a little awkward as he wasn't really sure who Motorcycle Boy was at first. Apparently Kate didn't talk about him much, which made Castle's heart swell with joy, however childish that might be. A few minutes after Josh left, Jim turned to Rick and the companiable silence between them was broken.

"Thank you." Jim said and Rick looked at him confused.

"For what?"

"You tried to save her, Rick." He raised an eyebrow at him and Rick could suddenly see the resemblance between father and daughter.

"But I didn't. She got shot, anyway."

He sighed, angry at himself for not being faster, for not realizing something like this could happen. Kate was still a target and they should have realized this war was not over. Lockwood may be dead, but whoever was behind this was still out there.

"Rick, what I saw today was a man that loves my daughter enough to take a bullet for her. That's what you were going to do, wasn't it?" he asked gently and Rick looked away and nodded.

"My only thought was that I had to save her." He whispered, his chest heavy again. "I can't lose her, Jim. I can't."

"That's good enough for me, Rick. Knowing that there's someone willing to protect my Katie like you do." He touched Rick's shoulder comfortingly and they were silent for a moment. "Why don't you go see her?" He suggested and Rick nodded, getting up.

The walk to her room felt like it would never end. Although it was only a few feet away, he had to resist the urge to run. When he finally made it to her door, he stood there for a minute, gathering the courage to go in. He wasn't sure he was ready to see her like that.

Taking a deep breath, he pushed the door open.

The beeping of the heart monitor filled his ears and his eyes immediately found her. She looked so small, so fragile. Gone was Detective Beckett. The woman lying on that bed, skin pale, with wires attached to her, linking her life to machines was Kate Beckett. And Kate Beckett was not invincible.

He approached the bed slowly; afraid that he might do something that could somehow hurt her. When he made it to her side, he pulled a chair as close to the bed as he could and sat down. For several minutes, he was content to just look at her, listening to the constant beeping of her heart and watching her chest moving with each breath she took. He marveled in those simple things because it meant he hadn't lost her. She was still hanging in there and she was going to be okay.

After a while, he took her hand in his, gently caressing each of her fingers. Her skin was so soft and her hand seemed to fit in his perfectly. He slowly brought it to his lips and pressed a soft kiss on her skin, willing her to open her eyes so he could be sure she was still really there.

He rested his head on the bed, exhaustion suddenly taking over. He kept her hand in his, though, close to his cheek. He kissed her skin one more time, whispering his love to her, and let sleep take him under.

Rick awoke with a gasp. Trying to take deep breaths, he looked around, trying to recognize his surroundings. Everything looked okay. Kate's heart was beating steadily and she seemed to be breathing just fine, so what had woken him up like that? His own heart was still hammering against his chest.

Then he felt it. Her hand moved in his. He looked at her, startled for a moment, not knowing what to do.

"Kate?" he called her name softly.

Her hand moved again and her eyelids fluttered.

"Kate, can you hear me?" he tried again, squeezing her hand and bringing it to his lips. "Open your eyes, sweetie. Come on. Please."

He almost begged and was rewarded when she finally managed to open her eyes. But she seemed to fighting a losing battle against the meds and her eyelids drooped shut. Rick let out a sigh and sat back down, not letting go of her hand. He looked at his watch and was surprised to see it was close to 2am.

"Castle?" her voice was so weak that if he hadn't been paying attention to everything about her, he would have missed it.

"Kate?" he was on his feet again, his heart working double time. "Kate, can you hear me?" He touched her cheek gently and smiled, relieved, when her eyes finally focused on his. "Hi." He whispered, feeling the tears burning behind his eyes.

"Hey." Her voice was hoarse and he could barely hear her, but she was awake. That was all that mattered. "What…" she tried to take a deep breath, but stopped halfway through with a grimace. "What happened?"

"You're in the hospital. You were shot at Captain Montgomery's funeral." He told her quietly.

"Oh." She swallowed, but he felt her hand squeezing his a little bit tighter. "How bad is it?"

His chest suddenly felt tighter and he struggled to get the words out.

"I thought I'd lost you." His voice came out in barely a whisper. "I tried to push you out of the way, but I wasn't fast enough. I'm sorry." His words came tumbling out and he had to try and catch his breath.

She pulled her hand from his grasp and touched his cheek.

"Hey, look at me. Castle." She insisted when he kept looking down at the bed. "It's not your fault. Okay?" he looked at her and nodded, taking her hand again. They were silent for a moment. "I thought it'd been a dream." She said after a few minutes and tried to move, but stopped abruptly with a grimace.

"You okay? Do you want me to get a doctor?" he asked, nervous.

She closed her eyes and tried to breathe evenly.

"Everything hurts." She confessed and he started to get up, but her hand stopped him. "I'm okay, Castle. Just stay here with me for a bit." She asked and he looked at her for a beat, trying to determine whether he should listen to her or not.

"I have to tell them you're awake." He said eventually, but she shook her head slowly.

"You can do that in a minute. I'll be fine for a little bit longer." She told him and he sat back down, resting his head on the bed again. He closed his eyes when he felt her hand run through his hair.

"Kate?" he said after a while.

"Yeah?"

"Promise me something?"

"What?" he could almost hear the smile in her voice.

"Don't ever do that to me again." He forced the words out, his breath ragged from emotion.

"I'll try not to." She whispered and he looked up at her. She reached out and brushed away a tear in the corner of his eyes. "I'm sorry."

"I can't lose you. I can't." he took hold of her hand and brought it to his lips again.

"You won't get rid of me that easily." She smiled weakly at him and he found himself smiling back.

"Wouldn't dream of it, Kate." He caressed her hand, planting one last kiss on her palm. "I should go get your doctor." He told her and stood up.

"Hey, Castle?" she called him, her voice still weak. He turned around, looking at her questioningly. "What you said earlier…" she trailed off and bit her lip for a second. "I do too." She eventually said and he felt like his heart was suddenly at his throat.

Did she just say what he thought she said?

He offered her a smile and fought the urge to walk back to her and show her just how much he loved her. Instead, he nodded and let that feeling wash over him.

"I'll be right back." He told her and walked out.

She loved him.

So... thoughts? Is it September yet?