AN: Okay so this is my very first story and I'm so excited! YAY! This story is going to be a very love triange-ish, action-ish, drama-ish, romance. I am completely open to suggestions and ideas! Because, lets face it I know there is room for improvement here. Please read on, and PLEASE review, I need your input as I am a fan fiction virgin. :D

P.S. THANK YOU SO MUCH imnotalittlelamb for being a super awesome beta and helping me improve this chapter! I Love you, big-time.

You say you wander your own land
But when I think about it
I don't see how you can

You're aching, you're breaking
And I can see the pain in your eyes
Since everybody's changing
And I don't know why.

So little time
Try to understand that I'm
Trying to make a move just to stay in the game
I try to stay awake and remember my name
But everybody's changing
And I don't feel the same.

You're gone from here
Soon you will disappear
Fading into beautiful light
'cause everybody's changing
And I don't feel right.

Keane

Bella wasn't anyone's fool. A long time ago, maybe, but that was before she got involved with vampires and werewolves. Besides, she was never naive and she knew an overly hormone driven teenager when she saw one. She saw one now, staring at her like he wanted to rip her clothes off.

Jacob Black might look older than she was, but that had more to do with freaky wold hormones and less to do with maturity. He was just a kid and his intense emotions made her uneasy, they had talked about the friend zone on multiple occasions. Jacob was to remain there and not try anything or Bella would shut him out again.

Bella reached across the table and punched Jake lightly on the shoulder. "PLEASE, stop looking at me like that! You over grown horn-dog!" Bella said jokingly, but she was seriously starting to get tired of this constant staring.

"Sorry Bells, you know me, I get lost in fantasy sometimes." He shrugged, trying to shake off visions of Bella lying blissful in his arms.

"Hello?" Bella said, breaking his concentration, "Jake, we live in a fantasy. You're a werewolf! Remember?" She laughed.

"You know what I mean."

'Yea I do. That's the problem'

Jacob gazed longingly across the table. He didn't know how anyone could look so beautiful when they were obviously so distraught. He kept trying to fix it, fix her, but every time he felt himself breaking through and getting in, she shut down again. 'Damnit! Why does she have to be so stubborn?' He thought, trying to catch Bella's eyes but, they were hidden beneath a sheath of auburn hair.

'Why was it so easy for her to just let that blood-sucker in?' He just didn't know what to do. In the past week she had gotten worse. Months after the Cullens had left her, broken and drained, Alice had started returning Bella's emails and that was all it took. She had started pulling away, rebuilding those walls, putting him back in the "friend zone," whatever the fuck that meant.

'She knows that I could do more for her than that mosquito could ever dream' He hated them for ruining his happiness, but he was enraged that they had ruined hers. 'One e-mail! That's all it fuckin takes? I have been here your whole life! Listening to you cry, holding you, fixing you, and one stupid e-mail from that blood sucker and you go running back with your tail between your legs! He was growing angrier by the minute. 'I've got to calm down.'

Being a wolf had its perks, but where Bella was concerned it only hindered their relationship. Here lately, it was like his emotions were in hyper drive. He was one emotional extreme after another; he wanted to protect her, love her, fuck her and kill anyone who hurt her. The only thing that could explain it was the wolf thing. He was sure he hadn't imprinted, but he believed it was only because he didn't need to. Jacob Black had already found his mate and since he thought of her that way, it was hard to maintain any form of normalcy with Bella. He wanted so much to give her a normal life, to be what she needed. But, then he would remember Edward and what he did to her. Then cells started boiling beneath his skin, threatening to bring out his animalistic side, reminded him that he was not.

'I've never been any better than those fucking blood suckers.'

While his internal battle was waging, Jacob hadn't been paying much attention to Bella and he regretted it. He cherished every minute he had with her and didn't want to spend their time together dwelling on his inner turmoil. He wanted her to be happy. He glanced over at her, only to catch her looking back at him with a sad expression disturbing her face. She quickly looked back down at her chili, stirring it somberly. He was angry with himself for not noticing before and angry with Bella for being so caught up in that vampire. Still, couldn't help wanting to smooth the furrow in her brow as she sighed into her delicate hand. 'Maybe the bowling will cheer her up.'

"You finished?" he asked, "As soon as you're done we'll head to the bowling alley." Jake was looking forward to this date all week. Bella at a bowling alley would be entertaining.

"Jake, can I maybe skip out on this one?" She whined. "I'm just not up for it tonight."

'Figures, you're never up for anything..."No!" he whined. "Bells! You haven't left the house for five days and you're are GOING to have fun!" 'Instant messaging that blood-sucker doesn't count as a social life' Jake crossed his arms across his broad chest, trying his best to look angry, but a smile tickled the crease of his eyes and Bella knew he was only trying to make her happy. It worked; Jake always was able to light her up.

"Fine," she pouted, but a hint of a smile creeped across her lips.

'Why did he have to be so damn cute!' Bella thought 'Why does this have to be so hard...I'm so confused!'. No matter how hard she tried, to push it out of her mind and pretend that it never happened, she couldn't stop thinking about that night, a week before Alice's email, when she had finally opened up to Jacob.

It was freezing cold that night and Bella had woke up screaming for the first time in weeks. She was covered in a cold sweat and shivering from head to toe and her breathing was labored. She didn't remember her dream, but she felt like her limbs were full of lead and someone had pierced her lungs. Jake bounded through her window, a look of menace and anger across his face.

"Bella!" he hissed. "Is she here? Where is she?" he tore through her room. Veins in his neck bulging as he violently upturned bookshelves looking for Victoria, but she obviously wasn't there.

"Jake, Jake she's not here." She whined. "I just had a bad dream. I have them a lot." Bella was turning an embarrassed shade of scarlet. Not only had Jake heard her screams and learned her secret, but the way he had jumped in here to rescue her, shirtless and crazed, had turned her on. She was feeling that way a lot lately.

At first, it had troubled Bella. She thought that if she was in love with Edward so completely, which she was, that there wouldn't be room for feelings like that with him gone. Yet, there they were. Stirring her heart and making her burn all over.

It was different than with Edward. She had wanted to lie in his arms forever, just touching his beauty and breathing in his essence, Edward was too perfect to be carnal. Jacob, however, was sexy in his imperfections. Attainable and willing. Willing to...

Bella blushed fervently and dropped her eyes. Jake had mistaken her reaction for being ashamed. "Bells, baby look at me." He said pulling her into his arms. "I know what he did to you. You have every right to be hurting, to be scared. He broke your heart and left a mad woman chasing you but, I'm right here and I always will be." He pulled her chin into his warm rough hand and brushed a tangled lock of hair out of her face. "I will chase your demons away."

She knew it was true. He always chased her demons, both physical and emotional. She laid into his caress and cried. She cried because in that moment she knew he was right. He would always be there and Edward never would.

'Edward will never come back.' But Jake was there and he was attainable. Bella's eyes fluttered open in shock at her realization. 'I really do love Jake.' She thought. 'I love him for his honesty and his openness and his attainability. I love him for simply being here.'

'But what does that mean?' It wasn't the same, all-consuming love she had with Edward but, maybe that was a good thing. The way Edward loved her had made her self conscious and scared while Jacob's love left her warm and satisfied.

She looked into his eyes searching for the courage to tell him that she needed him, that she never wanted him to leave. Instead she managed and strangled whisper "Jake..I think I... I love you."

He held her in a crushing embrace and whispered huskily against her neck "I love you Bells."

She felt the layers of ice melting away as she realized she could be happy with Jake, her scorching sun. It would be hard, and she would never be whole, but maybe she could be happy.

He held her in his strong arms all night, and she woke up the next morning feeling better than she had in a long time.

'But things are different now'. She reminded herself as Alice's e-mails came to mind. She had a chance to get Edward back and she needed to find out what he wanted before ruining her chances by attaching herself to Jacob.

"Bells!" Jacob groaned "Please don't think about him when you are with me, I know that look and I hate it."

Bella only shrugged and continued to stir her untouched chili. Billy was an O.K. Cook, but she wasn't in the mood to eat anymore. "I don't know what to say Jake." She pushed her chili away, scooted off the porch and clunked, ungracefully, down the stairs. Sighing, she turned to face Jacob, still sitting at the table on Billy's porch "You know where I stand, Jake. I'm gonna go home now since my thinking about Edward bothers you so much."

The last words were said with a bite.

"IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE THIS WAY!" Jake stood up and slammed his fists on the table, blood boiling. "DAMNIT BELLA!" Jacob was bordering on furious. Who did she think she was talking like that to him and thinking about another man.

Jake had been there with her for months and she had said she loved him. By all rights she was HIS and he should make her stay. That asshole didn't hold her night while she cried out someone else's name. He didn't protect her from Victoria! 'Fuck him and fuck Bella for thinking about him!'

When he turned his fist were clenched and his skin was pulsing. He was ready to lash out, to scream and yell but, he saw the look of fear on Bella's face, he instantly felt terrible. "Bells, I'm sorry! Come back and finish your chili, we don't even have to go bowling, I promise" He pleaded, grasping at straws. There was nothing more he wanted than for her to stay. But, he was defeated before he even began. Once Bella decided something it took a Semi-truck to knock her off course.

"No, tell Billy thanks, but I'm just gonna go home. I will call you and let you know I got home safe."

"Baby... Bella! Please stay."

She barely broke stride to call back to him, "Jake, don't call me baby."

With that, she turned and walked away, again. Jake had lost count of how many times he'd seen the back of her jacket. The salty smell of tears welling in her eyes made his heart swell in anger, with himself.

Jake placed his head in his hands and pulled roughly at the roots of his dark hair. "Shit! I have got to get better at this." He sat on the edge of the porch and watched forlornly as Bella's truck hauled itself, with effort, down the gravel driveway.

Suddenly, that fury that had been subdued by Bella's face boiled to the surface and something inside Jake snapped. 'SHE IS GONNA GO MESSAGE THAT FUCKING LEECH!' He hurled their innocent chili bowls with all of his fury at the garage. They shattered on impact and Jake felt some satisfaction imagining the bowls of chili as Alice and Edward. He stormed into his house and stripped off his clothes. 'I need a fuckin' run.'

Bella took her drive home very slowly, not just because of the ever-present fog and rain that obscured her view, but because she needed time to think about what just happened.

'Why does it have to be like this! I wish he wasn't so perfect, that he'd do SOMETHING wrong. Anything!' That's what had scared her off back at La Push. Not the rage, she knew all about his temper. The way his blood boiled was a refreshing change from Edward's stoic features. No, it wasn't fear, it was the effect his shirtless chest invoked when rising and falling with anger had on her.

Heat colored her cheeks. 'Pull it together Bella!' She told herself. 'You are just as bad as he is!' Now, that the possibility of Edward loomed on the horizon, every more-than-friendly thought she had about Jacob pained her with guilt. More tears threatened to spill from her eyes. "I have got to get home and talk to Alice."

Charlie Swan, Chief of Police, had just returned from a drug testing at the local La Push Rez School. Apparantly there were rumors of steroids being used on the foot ball team, but he knew before he had even gone that it was bullshit. Billy would have never let that happen. He had to admit though that those boys were ridiculously huge, and there had been an increase in reports of violence out of that area lately. He hated to believe anything negative about those boys, they were all good kids. 'I guess I won't know anything until the results are back.'

Since there was nothing left to do for the day he went home to relax. He was nursing a beer and watching the History channel when Bella's truck banged and clanked into the driveway. 'What is she doing back so early? I thought...something about bowling maybe?' He knew she was supposed to be out with Jake tonight and was sad to see her home so early. Most fathers, he knew, would be happy that their daughter's weren't interested in staying out all night with boys, especially one who was on a list of suspected steroid abusers, but Bella wasn't most girls. She seemed to be really happy with Jacob. They had fun and he liked the light, non-serious tone of their relationship. 'I sure as hell would rather see her out with Jacob Black than with that Cullen kid. The way she obsessed over that boy was unhealthy.'

He hated to see her hurting, but he didn't really know how to talk to her, so as usual, he avoided the subject when she walked in the door. "Hey kiddo! Decided to hang out with your old man tonight!" He raised his beer to her in a mock toast.

"No dad, I'm just not feeling great, I'm going to bed." she mumbled as she fled up the stairs.

'Same ol', same ol' he thought to himself. She'd been acting weird for the last couple of days. Charlie just chalked it up to "feminine" issues. 'Shew, women'

Bella threw herself into the chair in front of her ancient PC and waited miserably for her internet to load. "Come on! Come on!" She whined to the screen. Her fingers were tingling in anticipation, she had asked Alice so many questions in her last email and she was begging, no pleading, with whoever controlled the universe that she had emailed her back, or was online.

'I hope Alice writes a little more this time. 'She never answers all of my questions! That is so unlike her.' Bella knew, it was because Alice felt she was betraying Edward's trust by talking to Bella and that it was really hard for her to keep it from him, with the mind reading and all. Alice had told her that. But still it was infuriating to have to milk every little detail out of Alice, who before had to be told when to shut-up. Also, she said that she had freaked out when she could no longer see Bella's future, and that's when she decided to check her email and saw all of the messages Bella had sent her. What did that mean?

Alice had never had trouble reading her before. Now, however it was a struggle for her to see snapshots, blips here and there, and for the most part she had no idea what was going on and it crushed her to see how much pain Bella had endured. Bella assured her she was fine and that she really didn't know why Alice couldn't see her anymore. Honestly, she was afraid it was because the Cullens had pulled away from her, and that they didn't love her anymore.

One new message... "YES!" Bella did a dance for joy in her chair and almost flipped it over in excitement. "Yes, yes YES!" She clicked it open and read what Alice had sent her.

My Dearest Friend Bella,

I know this has been so very hard on you. The way Edward has been treating you is inexcusable. I'm so sorry to hear about how badly you have been hurting. I would have emailed you sooner had I known, but as I mentioned, I have had much difficulty seeing you lately. It is very upsetting. No, I still haven't told Edward you and I have been talking. If I did I am afraid he would never forgive me. He is fine. He is sad mostly, he never plays any music anymore, and never stays at home. He is running around with some new vampires and I don't really trust them. However, I haven't seen anything bad in his future yet, so I'm being patient (and you know how hard that is for me!) I miss you so very much! I am really hoping Edward comes to his senses soon and comes back to Forks and lets us be happy again. I don't know how he thinks he can stay away from you, even though he denies it vehemently I know he still loves you. As for your question, what do I see in your future and are you and Edward together in my visions? I honestly don't know. I wish I could see you more clearly but, I can't. All I see when I look for you is bright light. I don't really know what that means.

I'm sorry I can't offer you anything more. I love you, please keep in touch.

xoxoxoxo, Alice.

AN: Wanna know Bella's reaction to the email! Then please review! Actually, I will post the next chapter next week sometime whether you review or not... but, it would be nice. :D