Good Enough
Notes: Dialogue Generator Challenge
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"You make me feel like I'm not good enough."
Dorian can't help it. He barks out a sharp laugh of astonishment and turns so that he's looking at Cullen as they walk. "What in the name of the Void are you talking about?"
Cullen Rutherford is one of the names rising with the Inquisition into the realm of legend. Along with the Inquisitor the Commander is one of the most recognizable names, because people are naturally very interested in those who command armies. As such he's very well known through Thedas, and the talk that comes up about him is surprisingly positive. Even with the black mark of Kirkwall's Templar order hanging over his name.
Not as much of a bad thing as he likes to think. Most of the masses they deal with have that inherent distrust of mages that makes the south so charming, and are willing to let a great deal of bad things slide from those they consider able to protect them from the horrible, horrible mages.
"Exactly what I said Dorian," Cullen doesn't look very amused at all, and he's not looking at Dorian. His eyes are distant and far away. Far away in his own mind, thinking ridiculous things.
"Normally I'm not one to deny such eloquently worded compliments, but that is one of the most idiotic things I've ever heard you say," Dorian pulls ahead enough to catch the other man's eyes. They're dark and doubtful in a way that he's been expecting for a long time, but not like this. "And may I remind you I once heard you suggest we let ourselves be killed so that bar was set rather high. I am quite frankly impressed you've managed to surpass it in under a year."
"I'm not joking, Dorian," Cullen stops walking. Forcing Dorian to spin around fully as he walks over to the wall and leans one hand against it. Staring broodingly out over the expansive heights of the mountains. It's an attractive image, but the subject of conversation takes away from his ability to appreciate it. "You are one of the best men I have had the pleasure of knowing. I cannot help wondering if I am wor-"
Dorian moves quickly. Stepping in closer than he truly is comfortable being to Cullen when they're this exposed to the public view. Despite the many times Cullen has shown how little he cares who sees them, it's hard to shrug off a lifetime of conditioning though. There's only a few ways that sentence can end though, and Dorian doesn't need to hear it as much as Cullen doesn't need to say it.
"There are better ways of fishing for compliments than resorting to blatant stupidity. We can go back and forth about which of us is the better or worse man until we're old and hobbling on canes," Cullen's lips quirk under his hand, but Dorian doesn't need to see it to picture the wry smile. His eyes focus slowly on Dorian. Losing the distance it had the entire time they've been walking. "Personally, amatus, I'd rather skip ahead to the part where we both talk each other up about our respective good qualities, Or, better yet, just go straight to my room so I can show you."
Cullen chuckles and dislodges his hand. He steps away from the wall and right into Dorian's space. Wrapping his arms low around Dorian to pull him close. Dorian puts up a bit of token resistance but doesn't try to dodge the kiss. Warm and sweet in a way that Dorian can't help loving.
"I know what that means now," Cullen says senselessly when He pulls away. A single inch so that they're still mostly pressed together. His confusion seems clear though, because Cullen keeps talking. "Amatus," Dorian's gut clenches and his heart seems to beat doubly fast. A combined reaction of his finding out -something Dorian knew was going to happen eventually, further down the road- and the exhilaration of hearing the endearment fall from Cullen's lips. "I found out what it means."
"Yes?" Dorian's tense and he knows he doesn't need to be but he can't help it. It's his turn to avoid all too perceptive eyes. "And?"
"I don't feel worthy most days, but I am far too selfish to do anything but accept that you love me as much as I do you," Cullen says, and the simple delivery of words should not make Dorian feel worse. Or better. Enough to make him feel like flight could be possible embarrassingly enough. The rough scratch of Cullen's thumb stroking the skin of his cheek doesn't help at all. "I feel incredibly lucky to have found you. I can't help questioning that somedays."
"It is uncommonly good luck that you are stuck with someone as great as myself," Dorian allows and can only hope there's nothing to give away how much this conversation is flustering him. It's a poor hope but he holds tight to it despite that. "I think it is for the best not to question how that happened and just enjoy it."
"You do usually know best in most things."
"I know best in all things!" Dorian leans forward to steal a completely self-indulgent kiss from Cullen before pulling away. The feeling of eyes may very well all be in his mind, but there's no reason to make a show out of it. Soldiers are an incurably gossipy group really. "The sooner you accept that, the easier you will grow accustomed to your fate."
"A life time of being in your company?" Cullen sounds amused as he follows Dorian's prods to get moving. To his office which may not be all that private, but at least have four walls to give it that illusion. Cullen captures his hand and brings it up to press a kiss to his knuckles. "I can think of nothing I would like better."
"Careful, Commander, that almost sounds like a proposal," Dorian moves faster, but doesn't try to reclaim his hand from Cullen. Who is he to deny the man really?
"Hm, not yet," Cullen's voice is thoughtful in a way that's absolutely dangerous. "But it's good to know you won't be completely opposed when the time does come."
Dorian doesn't look over. He doesn't quite know what's on his face right now, but it most likely won't be anything he'll live down anytime soon. Though it just may be worth it in the end if Cullen follows through on that particular promise.
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