One's Worth
Disclaimer: I do not begin to entertain the thoughts of owning or any other sorts to Invader Zim. I'm just a simple person that decided to write a fan-fic of my fav lil Irken. I'm also the type of person that doesn't really don't go to great lengths of explain all that hooplah. Just wanted to write a short fic that's all.
A/N: At the time I wrote this I in deep depression and so this short story came to be cuz of my mood. If it seems to be cliched, full of holes, characters that are completely outta character (blah, blah, blah)...don't care...if ya don't like it, that is completely understandable...i just wrote what came to mind at the time at the time when i was depressed....plz don't pelt me too bad with your cyber rocks of hate...alright enough of my babbling, onto my short fic...
Quiet, everything was too quiet. Nothing serene or soothing about it; no gentle hum of a machine, or any random squealing from the insane robot. Everything was just empty, hollow...dead.
Ignoring the intense, throbbing pain in his right claw, dull magenta eyes scanned listlessly around the thrashed room. Zim just sat there, with his back against the wall, staring at nothing. That's what it all was , nothing, just mangled remains of a huge screen computer, torn wiring everywhere and slashed and dented parts of the metal wall that had his blood thinly coated on it. There was a small fire somewhere that barely illuminated the room. One thing dominated his thoughts at that moment that he had no energy to breathe out.
Why?
It was only an hour ago that the tallest contacted him one finale time. In that short, brief, moment they took everything from him. Their voices were so bored and detached as they explained that they were tired of it all. But mostly just tired of Zim. What was once a joke for their own amusement of how stupid and oblivious Zim has been throughout this entire time, now it was played out and grated on their nerves. He was to forever remain on that planet, exiled. Then to ensure that Zim won't be able to contact them ever again, they shut down everything in Zim's base. Before he could plead the tallest to reconsider, Zim was left in total darkness.
It had to of been a joke...right?
Completely in denial, he blindly reached foward and placed his palm flat against the screen. He began to call out to his tallest in a calm, soft spoken voice. After repeatedly calling out with no sucess, Zim paused momentarily then looked upwards and called out to his computer.
No response.
He called out yet again and was met with nothing but silence. Zim's body began to tremble with rage as the hand that was on the screen fell silently to his side. Swallowing thickly, he commanded his computer to respond to his master.
Nothing.
Closing his eyes tightly and gritting serrated teeth, his shoulders were visiably shaking. Clenching and unclenching his claws as he refrained from becoming volatile. In the calmest voice he has ever spoken, he made the order one last time while pressing a button on the console in front of him; in hopes something will activate.
Everything remained the same, lifeless and dark.
Realizing that this was real and no joke, something within him finally snapped. Gripping tightly on the armrest from a chair, that he was currently standing next to, he suddenly lifted it up and threw it into the screen. Deep within the twisting, intricate depths of the underground labs with walls made of metal, Zim's screams could be heard clearly; even above ground.
WHY?!
Screaming that only word as he punched a steel wall, denting it. Years stuck on this sickening dirt-ball of a planet, why do they tell him now?
For what reason?
Pak legs came out and smashed, ripped and blasted random objects with no set target in mind. Zim raised his head upwards again, as if he was looking for answers.
Haven't I done everything for you?
Trying to understand on what he did wrong, he continued his destruction in the room. Random thoughts popped into his head: Were the tallest angry at him for his newfound height? Upset that he hadn't conquered this planet? Didn't update them on his current plans and findings?
No, he always kept in contact with his tallest.
His energy finally gave out and he sat down, leaning against the wall. He could feel his blood gushing out of open wounds from his right hand and pooling onto the ground. Zim wasn't concerned about his pain, he couldn't figure out why they forever banished him, cutting all ties with him, leaving him nothing.
All without batting a fucking eye!
Finally done brooding, he slowly hoisted his lithe body back up then silently walked out of the room and into an even dark passageway. The darkness was no hinderence for him as he walked down the corridor. He knew this base by heart so it wasn't hard for him to find the doors to the elevator. Pak legs easily slid open the doors open and he made his way inside. Fully aware that the elevator wasn't going to work, Zim opted for the chute instead. He made his way to the highest point of the house.
The hanger for his voot cruiser.
Perhaps his voot was overlooked and still retained its power. If so, there's a glimmer of hope that he can leave this wretched planet. He walked over to his ship then reaching into the open cockpit and pressed a button on the console in hopes the ship will start up.
His good claw fell limply to his side.
They were true to their word, Zim was forever banished on the earth. Not only did the massive's mainframe overrode Zim's base and shut it down, it also permanently grounded his ship.
Only one course of action left.
Making his way downwards, he eventually exited out into the living room. Upon entering the room, that was brighten by the afternoon sun, set Gir on the floor staring at the blank t.v. screen. Not bothering to put on his disguise, he walked past the unusually quiet robot and up to the front door. His hand on the doorknob, Zim spoke up regardless that his voice was raw and hoarse. Mentioning that the mission was compromised, that it was needed to be taken care of.
"Aww but I want to watch the black bears attacking a black forest campground at midnight."
As he whined that, cyan eyes looked up to his master while pointing at the t.v. that was obviously not working. Once vivid magenta eyes that held so much passion and fury, now were lifeless as he stared at Gir. Opening the door and stepping outside he muttered out.
Initiate.
Given the command, the vapid robot suddenly stood up in salute eyes glowing red.
"Yes sir!"
Without saying anything else, Zim left his house and as he walked down the concrete path. He could hear random crashing and squealing from his tiny minion. With his base being destroyed as well as all of his equipment, the command that he had given to Gir, Zim continued walking down the street. With no disguise, it still made no difference, Zim was completely ignored. People went on with their daily lives; they paid no heed to the 5'8" green alien walking down the sidewalk, in broad daylight, with his blood dripping nonstop onto the pavement from his untreated open wounds.
Stupid creatures weren't worth ruling over anyways.
Zim only had one goal in mind, in his crazed state, was to face Dib in one final battle. There would be no draws this time, one will not be walking away alive. Without purpose, what else was there to live for...to fight for.
The Dib will have the advantage.
Oh he could just easily end it all by pressing the self-destruct button that was implanted in his arm. But that's probably what the tallest wanted him to do all along, to take his own life. To just fade away and die. His good claw clenched tightly at that last thought and he began to walk more briskly.
Kill himself?
He was Zim! An Irken elite, one of the empires greatest invaders ever produced. He deserved a warriors death at the hand of his foe that was his equal in every way. Not sniveling in some dark corner like some smeety and ending it all with a push of a button.
No.
That was one thing that he could not do, he will not give the tallest the satisfaction of going with that option. Nor was he just going to fold over easily for the human either, Zim was going to fall by Zim terms alone. He was soon pulled out of his fevered thoughts once he reached the outside of his rivals home.
Condemned.
Motor and thought process ceased functioning when he saw the tacky sign staked into the unkempt yard. After the momentary pause, he found his feet again and slowly walked up to the boarded house.
Of course, how could he have of forgotten?
Zim kicked the sealed door down without any effort and stepped into the abandoned house.
How long ago was it?
Peering into a completely empty, cleared out room that used to be the lab of the parental unit. Dust and slow decay claimed that room now.
Two...three years, perhaps?
Everywhere in the lower part of the house was the same, empty, without a trace of anyone ever living there. He hesistated by the bottom of the stairwell for a moment as he looked towards the top.
Time was now lost to him.
Placing a firm footing on the step, he then carefully ascended up the stairs. Every other few wooden steps creaked and groaned in protest of the slight added weight on them. Once he made it to the top, he went to the door of the first room up the stairs.
Dib's room.
Turning the knob, he took a deep breath and pushed the door open. Blinking a couple of times, he surveyed the room before walking in. This room was different from the entire house, it was the only one that was left untouched.
He will never understand human sentiment.
Zim watched where he stepped then stopped in front of the empty bed and shifted his gaze to the wall that had faded remnants of blood sprayed out across it. Memories came flooding back in that Zim had forgotten about.
The day that he heard that the Dib had taken his own life.
Zim had to hear about it while sitting in class, as the teacher announced the news. He couldn't believe it, Dib who had always pursued and battle him all the way to Hi Skool found dead; a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head. There was no victory in that, everything felt hollow and wrong.
"I thought you were pathetic."
In Zim's mindset, he could never figure out as to why Dib killed himself. Everytime Zim seen the earth-stink, he always was ever eager to challenge him. If the Dib failed, he would always dust himself off and try again the next day. After learning about his suicide, Zim basically sealed himself away in the labs; coming up with countless plans on the destruction of the Earth but never followed through with any one of them.
"I never understood why you did what you did."
Sitting on his former enemies bed and looking around a room that looked hauntingly alike his destroyed lab. Besides the dust and cobwebs covering the room, Dibs computers were smashed and paper documents of his paranormal findings were ripped and littered about his room. Posters torn, cracks in his wall from where his fist had made impact on it, just everything that Dib had believed in and worked for was destroyed. It was akin to how Zim felt.
"But now I think I do."
How terrible it must've been day after day fighting to save the earth and to go unappreciated. To be mocked or go unnoticed by your loved ones or peers. All endeavors to be turned away by blind eyes and deaf ears. To treat ones existance like the plague.
"We aren't so different."
Sighing deeply, he then removed his pak and throwing it across the room with such force that it smashed to pieces on the opposite wall.
His very life source gone, there was no going back now.
His gaze then settled downwards and happened to spot Dib's trademark black trenchcoat laying at his feet on the ground. Without much thought, Zim picked it up and clutched it possesively to his chest.
"We both wanted something that we never got."
If you devote yourself fully into what you do and give it your all, wasn't good things suppose to come your way? It shouldn't have been the opposite. They turned their backs on both Dib and Zim. All those two ever really wanted was adoration, to be noticed by their own kind, looked upon but more importantly...
"Was it so bad to want respect?"
He silently shook his head in disapproval of it all.
"I wonder, did you feel worthless as well?"
Buring his face into Dib's coat, he began to feel the effects of his body slowly shutting down.
"You were the only one that acknowledged Zim when others would not."
Though warmth was being sapped away from him at an alarming rate, Zim felt nothing but strange comfort. Breathing in the faint scent of Dib, through the coat, put him at ease that he never felt before.
"The only one that showed fear and respect that I so rightfully deserved."
Strength giving out, Zim collasped onto his side. His breathing became shallow and labored. Laying on the bed, he held the jacket close to him.
"You were the only one worth being...my equal..."
Through clouded vision, he could see the lanky teen standing before him with what looked to be sadness shown in his eyes. A clawed hand feebly reached out in attempt to grab the youth.
"...Dib..."
In a blink of an eye Dib was gone, leaving Zim all alone yet again. His last lingering moments on earth were spent on reminiscing about his rival. Of the simpler days and the what-ifs that would never come to be. No glorious death, no nothing. Just alone...forgotten.
~End~
another lil a/n: i don't really see zim ever visiting a graveyard to talk to a tombstone, he seems to the type to be where someone had fallen...also Zim doesn't think very clearly on things...i know i made him (zim) a lil mellow and i never said how old Dib was when he decides to off himself...i had it mind that he would've been 16 years old...ya know the time when teenage angst seems to be at it's peak...i'm not saying that all teenagers are like that so don't jump to conclusions
