My time in FF9

by MoridinBelmont

Another story where some nerd gets pulled into a game. But this time, he's no goody two-shoes. And stuff gets wrecked.

1. Chapter 1

Let's start off by introducing myself. I'm Jeff Carraway, and I'm about 19 years old. I was that weird kid you always saw sitting by himself somewhere, reading or just staring off into space. I was constantly having to defend myself from bullies, so I wasn't the weak nerd most envision, but I wasn't a bodybuilding jock, either. Recently, I'd graduated from high school and was getting pressured to decide what I was gonna spend the rest of my life doing. The only problem with that being that I wasn't really good at anything. I had breezed through school by memorizing what I heard the teacher say then regurgitating it back onto whatever meaningless paper they assigned, but good memory will only take you so far, and being that I'm terrified of cars, I couldn't look for work outside of walking distance from my house. So after a few hours of having my mom subtly hint at a job and my dad outright screaming at me, I retreated to my room for my only escape from the boredom my life had become.

I had salvaged a few TVs off the side of the street and got them running again, mostly with a screwdriver, tape, and prayer, and plugged my PlayStations into them. I had my old PSX hooked to one on my dresser, my PS2 to the TV hidden in my closet, and my PS3 got the biggest one sitting by the door. I stood in the miraculous silence for a few seconds, calming down after my parents guilt trips, then started up my equipment and waited. In a minute I got a CD playing on my PSX, blasting 3 Doors Down, Boondock Saints playing muted in the open closet, and FF9 loading on the big screen. My dad had immediately forced me to start paying rent when I hit 18, and I had enough money to seriously piss him off with the light bill. Just as the opening cutscenes started to play on screen, I heard rainfall start outside. I cut the sound on my music for a second, then just turned it off, deciding to enjoy the calming din of the rain.

In most stories like this one, there's some kind of lightning flash, or strange occurrence that causes a blackout. Nothing like that happened this time. I just started up a new game and watched as the geniuses of Squaresoft set the scene. But there was something I wasn't prepared for, and that was how much clearer and lifelike the images were. There weren't the usual jagged edges or flat colors. I breezed past Zidane's briefing on the kidnapping, then I saw Vivi come shuffling down the street. In this new HD experience, a little boy with no face was much more fascinating and nuanced. Even though it was a sidelong view, you could see the boy's wonder at being in a big city like Alexandria. I watched for a second longer, wondering if something was wrong with me that I'd attribute emotions to a little digital sprite, when I heard a voice, "Hey guy, you alright?" I jumped, convinced somebody was robbing me in my own house, but stopped when I realized I was looking down the street of Alexandria!

I blinked at the guy who had spoken, some nameless NPC, then down at myself. I don't know why I expected to be still wearing my sweatpants and stretched out T shirt, but that wasn't the case. Now I was dressed rather comfortably in a pair of dark pants, a loose fitting dark green shirt, and sturdy leather boots. Sheathed behind me was a longsword, with the hilt on my left. "Sir?" I had completely forgotten about the guy who'd asked after me a second ago, and came to my senses, "Yeah, I'm fine. Just hit the alcahol a little too early." The middle aged looking man chuckled at that, then nodded, "Well, find a better place to collapse next time, alright?" I nodded and walked away, still marvelling at this fantastic event. I was actually in a Final Fantasy game! I had constantly read stories online about stuff like this, and it's true I'd wished something like that would happen to me, but I had wanted to be in one of the cooler games. I had always thought it'd be awesome to become a SeeD and flirt with Quistis, or to test my skills against Cloud and Vincent. But I wasn't about to complain, when I had this awesome chance.

I walked to the central area of Alexandria, taking in the scenery in a completely new way, when I spotted Vivi off to the side. He was breathing hard, most likely from playing jump rope with the kids, and was heading off to the side alley. Without making a concious decision, I followed the little black mage in and watched as the sign maker blamed the boy for making him miss his nail, before Vivi could apologize, I stepped forward, "Aw, shut up, you old fool. If anything, you missed because you stink at your job!" I could see the man seriously think about acting tough in front of the kid, but that changed when I rested my hand on the hilt of the sword hanging on my belt. Without another word, he hung the sign, then took off, as always leaving the ladder behind. "You should stand up for yourself more, kid. I can tell you got power, and he was obviously in the wrong." Vivi adjusted his hat nervously, "I know, but still..."

I shook my head and nudged his hat off center, "No buts. A mage is a serious powerhouse, and that kind of power has responsibilities attached. It's only fair that you get some respect, too." Vivi's glowing yellow eyes widened, "How did you know I was a mage?" I just pointed at his hat and said, "Dude." Just then, I saw the little rat face of Puck come around the corner and had an idea, "But hey," I said, "you wanted to see that play, right? What would you say if I told you I could get you in?" Vivi looked up at me, "You can do that? How?" I ran my hand through my shaggy brown hair, or tried to. Apparently, I had a bandana tied to my head. "I know a route that nobody's guarding, but to get there," I grabbed the ladder and hoisted it over my shoulder, "we're gonna need this. So how about it, you want in?" The boy just nodded and I smiled, "Then follow me." As I started to walk away, I heard him clear his throat, "My name's Vivi, mister. What's your's?" I wasn't particularly fond of Jeff, and I'd be the laughingstock of the group with folks like Zidane, and Dagger around, so I picked a name I used for myself in private, "I'm Vintistica Thiess, but call me Vin. And no mister, I'm hardly old enough to be your brother. Now come on, or they'll start without us." And with that, the two of us made our way down the alley, across the street, and into the bell tower, meeting up with the moogles along the way. At the top of the tower, I remembered and absently pulled the rope, forgetting that bells are really freaking loud from close up. While my head was still resonating from the concussion, I saw Vivi picking through the little box that held the little hippo kid's cards.

Once my brain stopped kicking my eyeballs, I tossed the ladder down and shuffled across, mumbling under my breath crazily. I turned and watched Vivi's hesitation at walking across, "Oh, I forgot he doesn't like heights." A little louder I asked, "Do you need some help?" This seemed to snap him out of it, and he quickly crossed the ladder to the rooftops. I led him to the first board, and when he tried to crawl across instead of walking, I snatched him up before he fell to the street below. Rather than go through this again, I threw the kid up on my shoulder, which were thankfully broad enough, and saw Puck once again appear from around a corner. "Looks like we have a shadow, Vivi." I said. Then he noticed the Burmecian prince, and his nice guy instincts kicked in, "Maybe he wants to see the play, too." I nodded, "Maybe. But if there are too many of us sneaking in, the guards might notice, so what do you want to do?" I saw little mage think about my question, before finally saying, "We should at least try to help him, right?" I smirked at him, hearing his request for validation of his choice, "I didn't realize you were a little hero, Vivi. All right, we'll take him with us." I set him down on the roof, "Now stay here. Since the boards are gone, he can't just walk across."

While we'd been talking, Puck had caught up and was listening from the other side of the gap. I motioned him back a little and jumped across to the other side. I knelt in front of the little rat-boy and said, "Hey, you trying to see the play? We know how to get in." Puck, being the arrogant little shit he is, nodded and said, "Yup, that's right." Now everyone, I've always been more interested in the anti-hero than the shining knight version. People who used powers and tactics similar to what they fought to destroy. So you can guess I have a cruel streak in me, and decided to show it to the brat prince, "Well, my buddy is willing to let you come along, but I'm not so sure. I may need some convincing." The boy, like any noble, immediately thought I meant money, and began digging in his pockets. "I don't want your money, Burmecian. I have another idea. You're gonna be my buddy Vivi's slave, and do anything he tells you to, okay? Even if he tells you to stand still while he throws fireballs at you, you'll do it, got it?"

The kid looked terrified even as he nodded, and without a word I tucked him under one arm and jumped back across. I just propped Vivi back up on my shoulder, and quickly jogged across the rooftops to the spot in the wall where we could enter the castle. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed the black mage glancing toward Puck, and realized I hadn't introduced them, "Vivi, this here's Puck. Puck, the guy on my shoulder's Vivi, and I'm Vin. Nice to meet'cha." Puck's snout shot up when I said his name, and grinned at him conspiratorially. Before he could ask how I knew his name, we had made it to the peasant's area, and I set them down in the back, "I gotta go do something real quick, you guys stay and enjoy the show. Watch for a guy with a tail, I hear he's pretty good." And with that, I took off to set up the next part of my epic entrance to the Final Fantasy stage.

The castle was boring, no other way to put it. I was able to easily sneak past what little guards there were, and even managed to snag some food from the kitchens. Before too long, though, I heard the familiar rattle of ill-fitting armor. Ducking behind a nearby statue, I saw Adelburt Steiner, stern faced captain of the Pluto knights, come marching down the hall. Now, I really never cared for Steiner when I was just a player, and my opinion hadn't been changed when I saw him in person. He was obviously the personification of everything that could be wrong with a knight. His armor was rusted and loose, he was predictable, hardheaded, and so blinded by what he called his 'duty' that he would endanger those he sought to protect. But now wasn't the time for my childish anger, so I waited while the bumbling idiot rushed down the hall, and waited for him to yell, "Pluto knights, assemble!" before I openned the door to the queen's balcony. I managed to slip in without alerting Beatrix, the polar and professional opposite of Steiner, and decided to work the mysterious messenger bit.

I grabbed the (black) bandana from my head and tied it over my face. Then, stepping out from the shadows, I rasped, "Kuja will be the ruin of Alexandria, Brahne." Without hesitation, Beatrix whipped around, drawing her sword. But with a gesture from the mammoth queen, Save the Queen's blade stopped an inch from splitting my skull. As the ruler allowed the silence to sit, I wondered if it was the fact that I hadn't flinched from the sword, or that Brahne had ordered her to stop that unnerved Beatrix more. "I take it you aren't one of his, if you deliver such a message." Faking a relaxed posture, I made direct eye contact with the lady knight and placed my palm onto the blade of the sword. She seemed disgusted that I would touch her weapon, but didn't try to pull it free.

Along with my cruel streak, I have a rather whacked out personality and a dark sense of humor, so I found it funny to see her face when I drug my hand across the edge. As my blood fell in scarlet ribbons, I held her eyes and said, "A knight shouldn't draw their weapon without allowing it to taste blood. Now your sword knows me, Beatrix. And when we meet in battle, it will sing your soul to me." Being a nerd has made me crazy. But I could tell Brahne didn't like being ignored, so I turned, still exuding an insane calm, and said, "I find Alexandria to be more profitable if it's still here to exploit. Kuja will see you destroyed once you've served his purpose. I tell you this once, Brahne. Beware the hidden power of the jewels." This was of course complete horseshit, but it might buy me some time before the fugly queen began using Eidolons to trash kingdoms. And before they could say anything more, I turned and walked right out the door. Now I had to hurry, since I had missed Garnet's escape and the time for Zidane's chase was running out. I took off back toward the stands where Vivi was. I yanked my bandana back over my hair just as I reached them and some knights began chasing my little friend.

I took off toward them, and just managed to catch up when Vivi unleashed his fire spell, catching Garnet on fire. "Dang, and I was hoping to make this funny. Oh well, now comes the interesting parts." Of course Garnet tries to dissuade Steiner, who refuses to listen, and Vivi and Zidane step up to help her. I decided to get in on this and pushed Marcus out of the way, "Sorry dude, but I'm taking the stage." I whipped my blade from it's sheath and got my first good look at my weapon. It looked like someone had seriously screwed up the metal, because it was a smoky black with just the barest dingy grey along the edge. But I was sure I could make it work, because I didn't have a choice, and said, "Yo, Vivi! You alright, buddy?" He glanced over, grasping his staff tightly, "Yeah, I'm okay." I smiled, "Chill, bro. We got this, no problem! I'll watch out for you." I saw him relax and I made my way over to cover him as he cast his spells.

One of Steiner's subordinates thought to slash at me while I was walking, but it did him little good as I brought my blade up and slapped his weapon out of his hand. Without thinking, I raised the point to his neck and stared into his eyes, "It would be best if you left now." He took my advice and ran off, which gave me time to wonder where the hell I'd picked up skills like that. I knew it took a little more than muscle coordination to keep from chopping your own foot off, and here I was disarming knights, even if they were third-rate. But I didn't have time to worry too much, because the captain decided to take a swing at Vivi. I blocked his downward slash and slid my sword across his blade to ram my weapon into his chest plate. I pushed forward hard, and felt his armor begin to groan before giving way. The metal buckled sharply, pushing against his ribs. The unexpected contact caused him to jump back and inspect the damage, then lunge at me glaring daggers into my head.

I dodged a few strikes, and blocked a couple that would've went wide and hit Garnet or Vivi. The spellcasters were just watching now, as I dealt with Steiner and Zidane was toying with the other Pluto knight. Before long, I was riding a combat high and loving it. This was so much more interesting than my life had been just a few short hours ago. Before I knew it, my endorphin charged brain was spouting off, "Man, not only is your armor shoddy, but so is your swordsmanship. I mean really, these telephone slashes are completely obvious. You'll never protect anyone with crappy skills like this." Then, just to see if I could, I narrowly dodged another overhead swing and slammed the pommel of my sword into his helmet. The blow shoved the headpiece over his eyes, and he stumbled back while he righted his gear. I took this moment to spare a few words to the newly abducted princess.

"Princess Garnet til Alexandros, I presume." The girl looked at me and smiled, "Yes, that's me. Have we met?" I chuckled, "Hardly, but royalty is widely known to commoners. My name is Vintistika Thiess, Vin for short. And this little arcane master is my friend Vivi." He made a little bow and I pushed his hat over his eyes. Zidane had long since gotten bored with the other knight, and had thrown him off while the Prima Vista took off. I knew we'd have to deal with the crash soon, so I tried to stay calm and play nice. "And who is this agile young man, princess?" She gestured toward the thief and said, "This is Zidane, and he's taking me to Lindblum." Of course, he had to add his two cents, and said, "Yup, just kidnapped her myself." I laughed loudly, "I didn't realize Tantalus did kidnappings now. How in the world did Baku agree to this?"

"You know the old man?" Zidane asked. "I know a lot of people who don't know me, Zidane. I like to know things that might be useful. For instance," I pointed to the approaching fireball, "that is not a happy sight." The three of them were shocked to see the bomb come flying at the ship, and Steiner finally managed to get his dented helmet to sit right. Of course he was oblivious to the danger right behind him, but I hadn't come to expect intelligence from this group. "Listen gang, the buffoon means well, but he's just gonna get in the way of our trip if we leave him be. So let's just do what needs to be done and put him down for a nap." Garnet wasn't happy about the thought of attacking Steiner, but she nodded along with the rest of them as we prepared to jump the idiot knight. He attacked Zidane first, due to him being the closest, and managed to score a light cut on the monkey boy's chest. I saw Garnet start focusing on a healing spell, and I jumped in to push Steiner back. I snuck my blade into the gap between his gloves and shoulder guards and sliced pretty deep into his sword arm.

When the steel of my weapon slid into his skin, he jerked back instantly. But the weird thing was I felt oddly peppy, like I had just stopped to take a ten minute break. I quickly attributed it to my combat rush kicking in again and began closing for another clash. I threw some slow swings he could easily block then Zidane kicked him in the back. As he turned to deal with the new threat, I stung him on the neck and got that juiced feeling again. Then I got too curious and hung back to think while Zidane dealt with Steiner and Garnet tried to call attention to the bomb. I didn't particularly remember a sword like this in the games inventory, and I certainly didn't recall an ability that gave you some of the health you took from an enemy. That wasn't to say the ability wasn't there, it had been a while since I'd played FF9, and my memory wasn't always the sharpest it could be. I shoved my hand in my pocket while I thought, and felt a scrap of paper brush my fingers. I pulled it from my pocket and read it quickly, chuckling at Steiner's look of frustration at Zidane's monkey antics.

Name: Vintistika Thiess

Job: Demon Swordsman

Weapon: Cursed Swords

Lvl: 1

A poor boy from Treno, he happened across a vampiric sword and trained diligently, becoming formidable in the arts of the sword and dark magics. He can siphon life from others, and sacrifice his own health to summon the forces of hell.

This kinda looked like a halfass character datasheet. Not much to it, but it at least gave me a backstory and explained what the hell was going on with me. Hell, it even gave me the setup to be one of the anti-heroes I'm so fond of. But it was too early to get comfortable, because for some strange reason the bomb hadn't exploded yet. "Well," I wondered out loud, "this does give me a chance to try my abilities out. And your starting weapon always has at least one in it. So sacrifice my health," I reopenned the slice on my palm and focused, trying to will something to happen. Then, I felt energy just drain out of me, and the wind began to pick up everywhere. It began to pull and tug at flags and Garnet's hair, then ramped it up to a full blown typhoon. Steiner was lifted off the deck and thrown into a railing, the force knocking the breath from him. I saw Vivi and Garnet about to take off and I lurched to grab them.

Just as I laid my hands on them, though, it was like the wind didn't affect them at all. While the storm blew around us, even their clothes stopped fluttering. I took a second to marvel at that and check out my awesome power, when I noticed what seemed like ghosts of bodies flying in the winds. Then I knew, this was Alighieri hell power. "The winds of Lust." I said under my breath, delighted with my ability. Then, the wind died down and the bomb went off.

I awoke later in a tree.

Not the most comfortable landing spot in a crash, but preferrable to a cliff or the like. I quickly picked myself loose and dropped to the ground. And just like my luck usually runs, I hadn't taken three steps before I was accosted by some goblins. I dispatched them with little difficulty, though I didn't have any items, so I had to be careful, and made my way to the hollow tree that led back to the Prima Vista. I worked my way through the wreckage and grabbed some potions lying around the edges of the debris. Anything I didn't have to pay for was welcome. I saw Blank stepping outside the ship and figured I should ask around instead of acting like an all-seeing jackass. "Hey, Belts," I called, "everyone okay?" Blank saw me and nodded, "Yeah, as far as we can tell, except Zidane hasn't shown up yet. And the name's Blank, not Belts." I held out my hand and said, "Vin." He shook it and I asked, "You guys pick up a kid in a mage's hat?" He shook his head and said, "No, you're the first one to come walking out of that forest."

I immediately turned and walked away, suddenly serious for the first time since I'd been dragged into the game. If I didn't hurry up, that plant moster was gonna get to Vivi, and I would be there to save him, dammit. I went racing back through the trees and water, slicing through the foolish goblins that attacked me, and hoped that I got there in enough time. As I came up to a clearing, I could hear a woman's scream and crashed through the last of the brush to see Vivi backing away from the monster. "Sh-she's in trouble..." he said. I rubbed my sword arm and said, "Vivi, can you help me save her?" He was silent, and I didn't have time to spare, so I stepped up beside Steiner, who roared, "Release the princess at once!" I rolled my eyes, "Yeah, the monster's gonna listen to you! Kill it!" He drew his sword and I charged forward, cutting the incoming tentacle.

I heard a weird surging noise behind me and almost turned to see what it was, but when I did the beast smashed it's other tentacle into the side of my head. I went flying to the side, and in my dazed condition saw Zidane join the party just as Trance overtook him. And seeing a hot-pink monkey with daggers is about the funniest thing you've seen with a head injury. He quickly darted between the plant's attacks. Just as he reached the creature's trunk, he slapped his palm into it's weird bark-skin, and symbols appeared and exploded all over it. The Mist monster responded by lifting it's tentacles to Garnet's level, but before it could steal the princess's health, I leapt forward and cut clean through one appendage. The spring in my step this time was more noticeable, and I figured the amount of energy I get back is related to the severity of the wound I deal. I danced back so Zidane could release another Free Energy, and the monster whipped it's remaining arm into some overhead foliage and escaped.

Steiner, idiot that he is, began screaming, "Princess? PRINCESS!" So I knocked him in the helmet with the pommel of my sword, "Yeah, bring the whole forest down on us, why don't you?" "Where did they go?" Zidane asked. I sheathed my sword and strode to the edge of the clearing, letting the next part happen, "Took off to the nest, most likely." Vivi shuffled forward, "She's gone..." And now to be a dick, "Yeah, if only we'd have killed it before it escaped." Only Vivi, who saw me staring straight at him, caught the insult in my statement. "I was too scared to cast any spells..." He said, "That monster's probably gonna eat her..." Steiner looked like a stupid dog that someone randomly kicked, "How could I let this happen?" I stood and said, "Because you're weak, Vivi's a scared child, and I didn't pay attention. The only one who couldn't have done better was Zidane. But are you gonna sit around and sulk? Or save her?"

They all looked at me, then Zidane spoke up, "He's right, she's not dead yet. That monster was only a minion. He's probably gonna take her to his master." Steiner latched quickly onto that tendril of hope, "That means the princess might still be- Come! We must go find her at once!" Of course at that moment, another monster dropped down and nabbed Vivi. Though I've gotta hand it to the little squirt, his first instinct to fling magic at it was a good reflex to have. And with the kid pumping it full of fireballs, it was quick work for the rest of us to hack it into submission. "Whew, thanks." He said as he got free. Then the little bugger decided to up and spray folks with it's seeds. Zidane and I were far enough away to keep clear of it. Vivi and Steiner, not so much. I quickly grabbed the younger one, "Big heavy knight's yours, monkey boy." And took off for the ship.

I was sitting off to one side a few hours later when the two woke up, and saw Steiner shuffling like a zombie for the stairs. He mumbled his usual foolishness about going to save Garnet, then the nero brothers stuffed him into a closet. Good riddance to bad rubbish, I say. So I chilled, while Zidane talked to Baku, and the other two rested. I listened to Steiner's idiotic attempt to escape by screaming fire, then once enough time had passed, I ambled toward Vivi's room. I managed to time it so I arrived about the same time as Zidane. "Thank you for helping me." The boy said. "Ah, don't mention it." Was the thief's reply. "Yeah, you're our buddy." I piped in. "Besides," Zidane added, "it was your black magic that saved the day. You know, you've got some major power for such a little guy." I chuckled, "That's pretty much what I told him back in Alexandria." The little black mage was silent, and of course Zidane couldn't take that. "What's wrong?" He asked, "Are you peeved at me because I called you little?" Who says peeved anymore? But because I like being the cool one here, I added, "Probably. He's an awesome mage with unbelievable powers. He deserves respect."

Then Vivi whispered, "I'm sorry. When that monster caught her, I couldn't do anything." Zidane immediately said, "Hey, don't worry about the princess. I'll get her back. I promise." I knew what was gonna happen, but decided to play the reluctant hero, "There, he'll take care of it. So we can get out of here if you want to, Vivi." The boy nodded at Zidane, "Thank you, Mr. Zidane." That made our Terran invader uncomfortable, "Whoa, that's the first time anyone's called me 'Mr." Just call me Zidane, alright?" He nodded, "Okay,...Zidane." Then Zidane just quietly left the room. Once the door was closed, I turned to Vivi and said, "Well, what do you want to do now?" The boy looked up at me like he didn't understand, "What?"

"We can get out of here easily if that's what you want. Then we can go anywhere we decide and do whatever we wanna do. This world is open to everything." I had to play it so he wouldn't decide until Zidane came back, so when he stayed silent, I added, "Hey, no reason to decide now. We've got time, so rest up and think about it. I'm gonna go get some air." I left the room and made my way down to the hole in the hull so I could get some air. I heard the sounds of a fight coming from the bottom of the steps, but when I got down there, Baku was already socking Zidane in the gut. I leaned on a column until he caught his breath, then said, "So you quit, huh?" He nodded and looked up at me, "I wanted you and Vivi to help me rescue the princess. You in?" I shrugged and squinted, "I don't know, what has royalty ever done for me? In Treno, all the nobles do is talk about how expensive everything is, while good kids go hungry ten feet away from them."

Zidane obviously didn't know how to respond to that, so I just feigned indifference and said, "Well, it's not like I got much else to do. If Vivi says he's in, I'll go too." So the two of us left to talk to the other two. First stop was Steiner, since he's on the way, but I wasn't looking forward to the conversation. When we first walked in, Zidane goes to bust his chops over a little Garnet doll he had, and his response was a very loud, "Silence! A scoundrel like you could never understand! I'm just overwhelmed with concern for the princess! If only you rogues hadn't kidnapper her...This is all your fault!" I leaned against some junk and said, "Yeah Zidane, how dare you comply with the princess's wishes. Don't you know she's supposed to miserably spend the rest of her life in a gilded cage?" The knight was too shocked to speak, so I continued, "She's not allowed to be happy, she's a princess! That's what knights are for, is to keep the meek little lady tame while everyone around her decides her fate. That's why when she ordered Steiner to leave her be, he ignored her."

Ah, the fool knew enough to seem stricken by that remark. Well, at least he had some semblance of intelligence. Finally, the silence had stretched long enough and Zidane said, "Anyway, I'm gonna go look for her now. I'll let you come with me if you promise to be good. What do you say, Rusty?" And just like clockwork, his idiot pride jumps in, "RR...RUSTY! I am Adelbert Steiner, Captain of the Knights of Pluto, and I will never work with you conniving thieves!" I stood and turned toward the door, "I knew this was a waste of time. This fool would rather have his pride than see his lady safe. Never mind that the 'conniving thieves' were hired by Regent Cid. No, a captain of the laughingstock of Alexandria knows best." Oh, that stuck in his craw good. But even he had to admit I made a good point.

"Make no mistake." he said, "I'm only going with you to rescue the princess! I will deal with you personally when this is over!" I moved to open the door and heard over my shoulder Zidane say, "Whatever." I heard them continue the conversation, doubtless talking about recruiting Vivi, and I left to get a good spot in the small room. I scrambled up the ladder to sit on the bunk bed before Zidane and Steiner came in and crowded the place. I guess it was larger than my head made it out to be, but I like my personal space. "Well, Vivi," Zidane said, "we're ready to go look for the princess." But the boy didn't understand just what they were asking, "Really! That's great! Be careful, okay?"

"Actually, we want you to come with us, too."

"Huh! But I can't do anything."

"Hardly, Master Vivi. Your magic was highly effective against that monster. In all honesty, I hold your power in greater esteem than I do this scoundrel's." So even when he's asking a favor, Steiner takes the time to insult others. I knew I was gonna end up spending no small amount of time with this jerk, so maybe it was time to set him straight. "Do you ever stop acting like a child, or are you stuck on stupid?" The three of them turned to gawk at me one more time, and I glared at the laughable knight. "This 'scoundrel' as you so often put it was under orders from one of the most powerful men on the continent to safely see the princess to Lindblum. While it was your bumbling foolishness which caused us to crash in the Evil Forest. And even if that weren't the case, just where do you get off acting so rude all the time? I thought the knights were supposed to represent the best Alexandria had to offer. But if the best they can do is a moron who insults everyone he comes across, it's no wonder they rely so heavily on women."

Then I turned to Vivi while Steiner picked his jaw up off the floor, "Vivi, whatever you decide I'm going with you. Don't let them pressure you into doing this if you don't want to, just do what you think is right, okay?" I waited patiently while the kid thought out his decision, all the time knowing what he was going to pick. Cause deep down, I knew the little black mage had all kinds of heart. Eventually, he just looked up, adjusted his hat and said,"I'll...try my best."

"Thank you, Master Vivi." Steiner said. Zidane and I left the room, and just as Vivi was about to follow him, the knight called him aside to discuss the magic sword combo. I left them to their scheming and followed the thief out. The pair caught up to us just as we were about to leave, and Blank, who was leaning against the wall, called over. "You really dig her, huh?" Zidane turned to his friend, "I can't sit around knowing a girl's in trouble. Goes against my nature." The redhead just said, "Whatever. You're full of crap." The monkey grinned, "Ohhh... I get it. You're jealous that I'm gonna get me a sweetie pie." I tried not to die of laughter as Blank replied, "Pshhh... She's not even my type. I came down here to give you this." He pulled a purple flask from a pouch at his belt and held it out. "You're always thinking about me..." Zidane said, "but I won't need a love potion to reel this one it." I brushed past him, "Yeah, cause all the magic in the world can't get a girl past what a dork you are." I grabbed the potion from Blank and thanked him, "But what's it for?" He smiled over my shoulder, no doubt at Zidane's face, and said, "This is the medicine I gave to that black mage and the knight. It's sort of like a seed remover."

I tossed the vial back to the former Tantalus member, who said, "Thanks, Blank. I'll see you when I see you." As we were leaving, Blank called, "How about never?" If he only knew how close he comes to that. We stopped to buy some supplies from Cinna, then left for the forest.

It was easy enough to trek through the forest, and we even stopped at the spring to rest for a while before moving on to the plant boss's cave. Once there though, all hell pretty much broke loose. "There she is!" Vivi yelled. Zidane looked at our enemy first, "So, this is the master." And predictably, Steiner nearly rushed in when he saw Garnet passed out in the back. "You stay out of this!" he said, "Alexandria would be disgraced if a mere bandit should rescue the princess." Okay, if that's how he wants to play it. "Fine," I said, sheathing my sword, "go for it." Vivi and Zidane looked like I'd lost my mind, but I said, "When he's all beaten up and more agreeable, we'll help. But until he realizes he's useless on his own, he'll fight us every step of the way." So I didn't say anything as he rushed in headfirst, sword held high.

And I also didn't say anything when he got pollen blasted into his eyes, or when he got zapped with thunder magic right after. No, I just quietly let the fool get it all out of his system. So when he came crawling back twitching and blind, I assumed he was ready to listen. "So," I said, "are 'mere bandits' good enough yet?" He just wordlessly nodded and I tossed some eyedrops at him. "Now, here's the plan. Vivi can roast it with his fire magic from a good distance away, and I'll cover him. Zidane, you see what kind of distractions you can pull off, and Rusty here'll hack at it from close range. Any questions?" There were none, so we moved. And the plan was going off without a hitch, with Zidane smoothly jumping and flipping all over the place, staying just one step ahead of the tentacles and magic. Of course it would inevitably turn it's attention on Steiner, who was really chopping for all he was worth at the monster's base. But when it tried to do any damage, it would ultimately be stopped by the blast of flame that hit it square in it's mouth. There was one time when it tried to use it's pollen trick again, but a quick application of my Winds of Lust ability had that taken care of. And before too long, the beast was slain. Not a moment too soon, either, as Blank happened to stop by to try and save the day.

But with the monster defeated, Steiner quickly hurried to Garnet's side and began screaming in her ear, "Princess! Please get a hold of yourself!" Blank said, "Zidane, give her the stuff." So he did, and that brought her about, at least long enough to drink it. "Is she gonna be okay?" Vivi asked. But before anyone could answer, a lare rumble passed through the forest. "Oh, man! What now!" Now, Blank, some bad juju happens. The roots of the boss collapsed and some weird flower bugs showed up, trying to surround us. But with a quick nudge to Vivi and a shouted "Run!" got us out of there easily. I gave myself another good slash on the forearm to have my winds block the bugs chasing us, and we booked. I felt the bad mojo stir from the center of the forest, and decided I should run faster, so I did.

I took off to the front of the pack and realized I was leaving Vivi behind, so I slowed to grab him, hoist him under one arm, and take off again. It wasn't until I blew by Zidane for the second time that he wondered what I was running from so hard and he turned to see everything behind us turning to stone. That convinced him that he might like to be in front of me and he did his best to do so, but we were nearing the edge of the forest, so I knew what was about to happen next. Without turning around I knew that Blank would get caught, he would toss the map to Zidane, and he would be petrified with everything else around him. I collapsed on the grass to try and catch my breath while Zidane said goodbye to his friend, and Steiner set up a campsite.

After the fire was set I moved just enough to be closer to the blaze, then conked out again, sparing just a glance to see Garnet curled up on the other side of the fire. I quickly fell asleep in spite of Steiner's yelling, and really enjoyed the rest.

I awoke to something very interesting.

I had never been aware of any movement when I slept, but then again I was asleep. But it was only reasonable to assume that if I didn't move in my sleep, then I wouldn't wake up cuddled up with the princess. Now I had two options, either fall back asleep in the arms of a decidedly attractive woman, or be honorable and extricate myself from this situation immediately.

Can you guess what I did?

So a few hours later, she woke up to find me nuzzled against her in a deep sleep. Due to the innocent nature of the princess, she reacted very honestly and SCREAMED IN MY FREAKING EAR! I was up in a flash, sword drawn and scanning for threats. When I didn't find any I wondered why I was deaf and looked down to see a visibly shaken Garnet staring at me oddly. I decided to play the unwitting sleepwalker and said, "What are you doing on my side of the fire?" She was confused for a moment, then said, "I'm afraid I don't know what you are talking about." I pointed to the other side, where I had dozed off, and said, "You were over there when I went to sleep. Why are you over here and yelling at me?" She still seemed puzzled for a moment, then her eyes flashed in understanding, "You sleepwalk, do you not?" I of course had to pretend otherwise, "What? How would I know, I was asleep, remember? Well, whatever, it's morning now." I stretched a little and saw that everyone had gathered for our little exchange. Zidane seemed amused by this conversation, Vivi confused, and Steiner outright furious. To throw salt in the wound, I sniffed my shirt and said, "Well, at least you smell nice, princess. It's gonna be a while before I can wash your scent off my clothes." She blushed a deep, deep red and Steiner looked ready to throttle me.

He did in fact reach for his sword, but when I danced behind Garnet, he grudgingly released his grip. So I took off to prepare for the day, and then we broke camp, met with the moogle, and headed for the Ice cavern. The trip was easy enough, and I got to practice my swordsmanship a little more. Once we got there I saw that I wasn't wearing the appropriate clothing for wandering in an ice cavern. The group had a discussion at the mouth of the cave, but I was off in my own world, working my muscles to keep the blood flowing. When I heard Vivi talk about his grandpa passing, though, I tuned back in. "Oh... Forgive my indiscretion." Steiner said. "Don't stress, Vivi. A lot of people where I'm from are lucky if they know their parents, let alone their grandparents. I grew up all alone back in Treno." That got me a few looks of surprise and pity, but I thought it would better explain why I didn't have any family when we got there. "Hey, why don't we hurry up and get this over with?" I said, "I'm freezing my balls off out here."

"You will watch your mouth in front of the princess!" I turned to glare at the knight, "And who's gonna make me? If she has a problem with my language, let the lady speak for herself. Otherwise, me and my BALLS are gonna do what we like." I thought the man was gonna stroke out right there, but Garnet put a hand on his arm a glanced sternly at me. "I would appreciate if you would refrain from using profanity." I bowed mockingly and said, "As you wish, princess." Then I brushed past her, slammed my shoulder into Steiner, knocking him over, and entered the cave.

The sight of the cavern's interior quickly put my jerkishness to the back of everyone's mind, and Garnet said, "What a beautiful place! Seeing the actual cavern is so much better than reading about it!" I sat on the ledge waiting on them to catch up, "You certainly got that right. I never would have imagined simple ice could be so...elegant." It was as if that simple statement made up for every wrong in the world, the way she beamed at me. But her attention was quickly captured by a frozen flower, and Zidane had to remind her to keep moving. She wasn't happy about being interrupted, but I hung back with her and said, "I'll be coming back this way someday, if you wanna see any of this again." She smiled in thanks and caught up with the group.

And so we navigated the slippery terrain of the Ice Cavern, fending off Cave Imps, Garnet convincing me not to eat a Flan, and breaking false walls for treasure, until we'd almost made it out. Once we made it to the corridor full of wind, however, our black mage began to fall behind. "Vivi," Zidane said, "hurry up, or you'll be left behind!" I stood in front of the kid, shielding him from the brunt of the winds, "Dude, can't you see he's three seconds from a magecicle? Cut him some slack." So we tried to continue onward, but Vivi walked right off the ledge onto a side path. Steiner went to check on the little guy and lurched off too. "Yo, Rusty!" Zidane called as he approached, "You're...not alright, are you? What happened to you guys?"

And 'Stupid Question of the Day' goes to?

He jumps off to check on the others as Garnet and I lean over the edge, "Hey, Rusty! Move it or lose it!" But being passed out means you don't hear when people mess with you, or feel when they kick you in the rusty bits, and he just laid there. "It's no use," Zidane said, and just then the princess falls out. "Oh, no you don't," I said as I grab her, "come on, let's go." I bundle her into my arms, and step off the ledge into the relative warmth of the shelf. I quickly shove on Steiner so he's blocking any other winds that might leak down, then lie Garnet and Vivi close together, so their body warmth will help each other out. "I knew this was gonna happen." I said to Zidane. "Well, you could'a warned me." He said. "Whatever, dude...hey, did you hear that?" He stopped, "What?" I motioned for him to be quiet, and I just barely heard it again: a little tinkle of a bell over the winds. Zidane's eyes widened as he picks up on it and I jerk my head in the direction of the exit, where the noise is coming from. He nods and we head over that way to face the first Black Waltz.

"Why didn't you two fall asleep?" Gah, that voice is grating. Who would've thought a manufactured living weapon would sound like Gilbert Godfried got kicked in the nerts? "You should be dead by now." I'm gonna love killing you, just because it'll shut you up. "Are you the one causing this blizzard?" No, it's the little fairy standing next to the jerk asking why we aren't dead. "Hee-hee-hee... That's right!" Thank God almighty, he finally summons Sealion so we can get this over with. Now, unlike in the game, the Black Waltz doesn't just stand still and let you hit him. He's actually a quick pain in the ass who flies around just barely out of reach, casting blizzard spells on Sealion to keep it healthy. So Zidane and I had to pu a lot of effort into pounding on the summon beast, and letting it pound us, until Zidane went into Trance. Once that happened, he unleashed this massive wall of fire that not only knocked Sealion for a loop, but knocked the Black Waltz down long enough for me to decapitate him.

Little fun fact for all you readers: When you decapitate a black mage, you get a hat. That's it, a hat. So anyway, with the mage supporting it gone, the beast itself was easy to defeat. It was actually lamentably weak, after the Tidal Flame, and it only took a flying stab into it's heart crystal to kill it. So once the pair was sent to the next world, the winds immediately stopped, and an eerie voice said, "You may have defeated No.1, but No.2 and No.3 will reclaim the princess."

"Oh, whatever..." Zidane said. "Whatever my butt, dude. We gotta go check on the others." He started when I reminded him of the others, and we bolted back to where the others were lying. "Zidane! Vin!" We saw Garnet waiting for us as we drew near, and the rattle of armor assured me that Vivi and Steiner were rousing, too. "Is everyone alright?" I asked. But Steiner just ignored me and demanded of Zidane, "You! What just happened?" Zidane just tried to play it off, "It was no big deal." The knight exploded, "You're hiding something!" But the thief was sticking to his story, "Hey, nothing happened. You heard me." Suddenly, Steiner's eyes got wide, "You...didn't touch the princess, did you?" That was when I calmly stepped forward, removed his helmet, held it out for him to take back, and headbutted him as hard as I could. I could feel the man's nose crunch under the pressure, and blood came rushing from his face.

I found a handkerchief in my pocket and calmly wiped the blood from my face as the wounded soldier collected himself, then looked him straight in the eye, "You accuse him of thievery, fine. He is a thief, there's no denying that. You call him a scoundrel, okay. I don't like it but his actions will prove otherwise in time. But call a man a rapist, when he has done nothing but help, and so help me I will strike you down should it ever pass your lips again, do you hear me?" I knew what I looked like, blood smeared on my face as I spoke of murder with the same tone one might the weather, and I knew the pale faced fear reflected back at me was well-deserved. But reason had done nothing to restrain this buffoon's tongue, so maybe terror would.

"I am a much more vile being than Zidane could ever hope to be, and even I wouldn't stoop to molesting a sleeping woman. So from now on you will show the proper respect to those who have done you no wrong, do you understand?" I was rewarded for my efforts with a shaky nod, after which I smiled insanely, "Good. Now, gather round, everyone. It's time to continue on." I was sitting at the edge of the cliff outside the cave for a while before my companions joined me. Garnet, at least, showed her decision to ignore what had just happened, "We made it through the Mist! Oh, the sun feels great!" I guess Zidane was gonna follow her lead, because he said, "Look, there's a village. I think I've been there before..."

"It sounds like you've been everywhere, Zidane." More places than you have, princess, that's for damn sure, "The only other worlds I've visited are in books. You may have been to that village. Let's go visit." I heard Garnet walk a ways before Zidane stopped her, "Wait. Hold it. You're a princess! You can't just go rushing in there. People are looking for you. You need a new identity." I was almost knocked over when Steiner pushed Zidane, but he apparently didn't notice because he said, "The princess need not sneak around!" I stood and glanced at the man sharply, causing him to flinch slightly, then I quietly said, "I believe it is the princess' choice to make, don't you?" We turned to see Garnet peering at a dagger that had been knocked loose from Zidane.

Once she noticed our eyes upon her, she looked up and said, "Steiner, I do not intend to return to the castle. And I do see Zidane's point, I need a new name. Zidane..." She held up the blade, "What is this called?" He grinned, "That? That's a dagger. All knives of that length are called daggers. Short swords are a bit longer. The big sword you hold with both hands is called a broadsword. And..." It looked like he would've gone on for a while if the princess hadn't interrupted him, "Oh, okay... I understand now. So this is called a 'dagger'..." Steiner was his usual killjoy self, "Princess! It's a weapon! Please be careful." But I didn't trust leaving him to conversation alone just yet, "Technically, it's a tool. It only became a weapon when someone with intent held it. The same is true for a rock, captain Steiner. Now why don't we trust that the princess is a big girl, and knows not to cut herself on the sharp side, huh?"

It was hilarious watching him get angry when he couldn't do anything about it.

Then, Garnet turned back to us and said, "I've decided! From now on, my name is Dagger. What do you think, Zidane?" He nodded, "Great, Dagger. Now, let's work on your speech. Try to sound more casual. Like me." She frowned a little, but nodded, "I shall try." I cut in again, "That's not really right, Dagger. Try to fit as many contractions into your speech as you can. People talk like they don't have time to get whole words out. Or if that sounds to dull, you can use more relaxed words like, 'alrighty'." I didn't think years of training could really mess with someone this bad, until I heard Dagger choke on the word 'alrighty'. But she managed to say it, and Zidane complimented her, much to Steiner's despair. "Well," he said, "let's go."

And so we made our way leisurely do Dali, and I was so tired by the time we got there, I could've gotten trampled by a black mage army and not noticed it. So while Vivi and Zidane argued by the entrance, I immediately pushed into the inn and ordered five beds. The innkeeper told me they only had four, I said fine, he took the money, went back to his nap, and I went to go lie in a coma for the next five years. I was enjoying my coma too, until Steiner ruined it with his stupid existence. "That's enough!" he yelled, to which I replied, "SHUT THE FUCK UP, TIN MAN!" I rose red-eyed and irritable as I glared at him. "Is there some reason you thought it neccessary to wake me?" He seemed a little frightened of me while he answered, and tired as I was I wondered why, "Zidane speaks as if he will be taking the princess to Lindblum." I held up my hand to forestall whatever he was gonna say next, and turned to Dagger, "Is that where you wish to go, Dagger dear?"

She nodded resolutely, and I pointed imperiously at Steiner, "The princess has spoken! Now, I am going to sleep. Whosoever wakes me next had better have a suitable offering of food, wine, or women, or I shall be very upset." And with that, I was out. I awoke once again next to Dagger and wondered just what part of me thinks this is funny. But her body was just too warm to move away from, and I drifted back to sleep, hoping she wouldn't scream next time.

And she didn't. I was able to fully awaken to an empty room this time, after a restful sleep. I stretched for a few minutes, working out the stiffness in my muscles, and left in search of food. I saw some kids running around the village and wondered if they'd had Vivi picked up yet. I figured I could pull the same stuff and achieve two results, depending on whether or not it had happened, but it could wait until I had eaten. So I headed off down the dirt path to the shop where I knew food to be cooking. But thankfully, on my way there I spotted Zidane talking with Vivi by the chocobo pen. So I put Vivi out of my mind for now and strode into the shop. When the girl saw me, she immediately put her guard up, which isn't surprising considering what they're doing here. But I just shuffled in and groaned, "Fooooooodd." I crashed onto a barrel stool lifelessly and she squealed and began scrambling around preparing something. I was about to nap on the counter when she finaly set the plate down in front of me.

You would've thought someone hit me with jumper cables the way I attacked that meal. It was simple, just dried potatoes and some kabobs, but it might as well have been a king's feast for all I cared. Once the plate was clean, I immediately felt better and smiled up at the frightened girl watching me, "Thank you, little lady. I really needed that. How much do I owe you?" She grabbed a stack of four plates that apparently I had finished off and hadn't noticed, and counted it out, "Five orders of dried potatoes, and fifteen kabobs totals 170 gil." I grabbed 200 gil and set the payment on one pile and the rest on another. When she looked at the other pile strangely I said, "Every good waitress deserves a tip, right? I just wish I had more I could spare." This got a small smile from the girl and I stood to leave. "So," I asked, "what do I call you, little lady?" She looked shyly at the ground and said, "Slai."

"Well, Slai," I said, "I'll definitely be back for more of this delicious food. Don't forget me now, okay?" And with that, I headed back to the inn. Or that's where I was going, when Zidane and Dagger showed up, "Hey, Vin. You seen Vivi?" Oh crap, I forgot to save Vivi. Well, nothing for it but to save him now, "Nope. Why, you lost my little buddy, Zidane?" He frowned, "Yeah, we don't know where he's gotten to." I scratched my neck, "Well where was the last place you saw him?" Zidane pointed and we gathered over by the chocobo pen, "Vivi said he heard a chocobo here." That was when Vivi's crying made it through the pipe in the ground. "Is someone crying?" Zidane asked. It happened again and they finally noticed the pipe rising from the ground. "Yo, Vivi! Can you hear me?" From out of the hole we could hear a muffled, "...Vin?"

"Yeah, buddy, it's me. Where are you?" We listened real hard and heard him say, "They told me to stay here..." Even though I knew this happened before hand, hearing the fear in Vivi's voice made me want to hurt somebody, "Are you alright, Vivi?" A pause, then, "Yeah, I'm fine." I hadn't realized I was fingering my sword until I almost yanked it free of it's sheath right then, "I'm gonna get you out of there, Vivi, alright? Just hold on, I'm coming."

"...Okay." I heard Zidane over my shoulder, "What's going on in this village? There's gotta be a way into the underground somewhere. Let's look for one." I of course didn't need to look, and nearly broke the windmill doors off when I kicked them in. I turned a little and said to them, "Give me a few seconds head start, then follow. It's gonna get messy." I stomped over and yanked the bulkhead up, hopped down the hole, and stormed down the tunnel where a couple guards were waiting with Vivi. I ran in and slammed one guy's head into the table so he blacked out, then whipped my sword out to point at the guy's eye. "Vivi, you alright?" He nodded nervously and I said, "Good. Now I want you to go back up the tunnel a ways, Zidane and Dagger are coming to pick you up."

"What are you gonna do, Vin?" I smiled that same insane smile I had back in the Ice Cavern, "I'm gonna tear shit up." And with that I leapt forward and slammed my fist into the guys temple, knocking him out. I twirled around and blazed down the hallway, ready to cause mayhem. I smashed storage coffins, I broke open barrels, I ripped through crates, I shattered urns, and shredded ropes. I caused the most destruction in the least amount of time, and I did it all with a maniacal smile on my lips. And that was before I made it to the Mist machine. I continued my rampage and threw open the door to the Mist intake area. I yanked and pulled and beat on the bells until they finally were aimed at each other. That was sure to cause a few problems. Then I broke all of the glass pieces and yanked wired apart and left the sparking mess to be discovered.

When I came out of the intake area, I saw that Zidane, Dagger, and Vivi had caught up with me, but they were looking at the egg machine. Without a word I grabbed a pot and a piece of wood, put the wood inside, and jammed it into a cog. The pottery was shattered easily, but it slowed the cog enough to be stopped by the wood and the machine began to overheat with the stress. Some small piece gave somewhere and the conveyor belt stopped. The eggs of course had already quit since I removed the Mist that was forming them. I went on to cut ropes, pull wires, wrap chains around important looking components. I even cut the ghysal greens down and fed them to the chocobo powering the conveyor belt. I could hear Zidane and Dagger behind me telling me to stop, before they got caught, but these people had made one of my friends cry.

And I will exact vengance.

I finally made it past the hatching area, and saw that there were still a couple black mages hanging from the ropes. I briefly thought about cutting them down, but Dagger would need to see these, to continue to let the doubt grow in her heart. So I left this area pristine and continued. The rest of the workers must've heard the commotion and figured that the machine was exploding and ran, because I didn't see any of them after the first two. So I climbed the stairs after destroying the rest of the stuff underground, and threw open the door to sunlight and the cargo ship. I sat quietly, waiting on the rest of them to catch up, and seethed. How could I have let Vivi go through that again? For food? That's horrible!

I was silently fuming for a while before I saw Steiner running at me from by the watchtower. I figured the Black Waltz would be here soon and I could work out some frustration then. Just then, the rest of the group joined me on the ground level, discussing what they had seen. When they saw the airship, they were silent for a second, then Zidane asked, "Where do you think this airships going?" I looked up and with a straight face said, "After I commandeer it, Lindblum." So that solved the transportation issue, now for the Steiner issue, so when he finally caught up, I took him aside and said, "Listen, I've gotten the princess to agree to board the ship. If she asks, it's going to Lindblum, okay?" He seemed a bit distressed at lying to the princess, but nodded. Then, once I had the team lined out, the second Black Waltz came whizzing forward.

"Princess Garnet, the queen is waiting for you at the castle!" Oh, good God, why do the Waltzes have these ridiculous voices? This one spoke in a glass shattering falsetto, and it creeped me out more than his predecessor. Zidane had to state the obvious for the group, "You were all sent by the castle?" And Steiner had to be difficult, "What? What are you talking about!"

"You were all unconscious from the blizzard. He said he was a Black Waltz!"

"Are you the one who defeated No.1? I am Black Waltz No.2! My power, magic, and spe-" I interrupted before my headache could get any worse, unleashing the Winds of Lust to push the Black Waltz into the ground so I could shave a few inches off his height before he teleported away. Before he could announce his indignation, I threw my scabbard into his face and as he brushed it aside, he found me ramming my sword into his skull. I rode his corpse down to the ground and said, "Good Lord, why do these Waltzes have such annoying voices?" Finally, my rage had subsided and I looked back to see the shocked faces of my companions gawking at me.

"What? He was annoying." Zidane nodded, "Yeah, but now how can we find out who sent him?" I blinked, "Isn't it obvious? If Dagger's actually seen the symbol on those barrels before, and she's only ever been one place in her life, where did she see it? And if the black mages are being sent there, then that suped up black mage is from the same place, right?" Dagger seemed to deflate, "So my mother is behind all this." Steiner quickly jumped in to give his two cents, "It can't be! There is no reason to trust the words of some bandit." For once I agreed, "He's right Dagger. Don't let anyone else make up your mind. Trust what you've seen, and what you've figured out for yourself. Now, this ship isn't going anywhere for a while, so I'm headed back to the inn for a nap."