Disclaimer I don't own Star Trek
Based on a OUAT Oneshot called More than enough, by Piper Maru Duchovny...and yeah I hope you like it!
It took only a few weeks into the five year mission, for Spock, to learn that Jim had a strange relationship with food. Certainly not an eating disorder, the good doctor assured him of that when he asked. According to McCoy, it's a habit Jim has had for a long time. Possibly from before he even knew him, of course when pressed further the doctor, said that Jim hadn't told him so he hadn't pressed further.
However, the Vulcan noted, that the captain either ate quickly, and in huge quantities or not at all with small quantities here and there. Nothing worrying of course, his vitals were usually good, and his weight was adequate for a man of his age and height. He was lean, and it wasn't as if his diet impeded his work. He was still able to run, to dodge, to defend himself if necessary, and fight. It was just that, when it came to meals, the captain could often be seen with two trays of food. Devouring what was on his plate quickly, as if someone else was going to take it. He, Lieutenant Riley, and Ensign Chekov even had an eating contest once...and the Captain had beaten them. Of course it was also never to the point where he would make himself sick of course. Jim ate just enough, where he was full, and received all his nutrients.
There was also however the other side of the coin
A contradiction, which Spock found incredibly illogical. Sometimes the Captain barely ate, saying he'd 'forgotten to eat' or on the times someone reminded him, he'd say he would eat later. He remembers one day on the Bridge, the captain was looking over the latest mission statements when his stomach began to growl loudly. To the point everyone on the bridge could hear it.
" Jim, when was the last time you ate?" Asked Uhura in concern.
" Uh...Monday?" Said the Captain, trying to apparently make a guess.
"Captain, it's Thursday." Said a very appalled and worried Sulu. That had closed Jim's mouth incredibly quick, as he seemed to be reevaluating everything during the week. Infact, Spock had as well. How on Earth could the Captain forget to eat, for four days? Once more Jim's stomach growled.
"I guess that explains a few things." Said Jim, and Spock immediately raised an eyebrow.
" Captain, I suggest you go to the mess hall and nourish yourself." Said Spock. Because the body can only go so long without food, and he doesn't want Jim to get ill. Later, he tells Dr. McCoy, who grumbles 'I told him to stop doing this!' before going to the Captain, who was indeed eating in the mess hall. Even so, sometimes it happens. The Captain will go a few days without eating, and that frankly worries everyone, even him.
Above everything however, he notices that Jim selects small portions. Two trays of food, but their small portions and he can sometimes be seen staring intently at other people's trays. Almost as if he's sizing up the portions, and trying to see if their big enough. He always asks the engineers if the replicator is up to speed, always asks the medical staff if people are getting enough to eat, is everyone getting enough. Something, that is curious. It all comes to a head one day, when Yeoman Rand pulls him aside. Jim had been down with a landing party, and she had gone to leave him some lunch in his room when she found a box of snacks, some food in tupperware, drinks such as water, some candy, all unopened and untouched.
"Thank you, for bringing this to my attention, Yeoman. Please see to it that the food is stored away." Said Spock, Yeoman Rand nodded and went to do so. The Vulcan, went to Sickbay and immediately told McCoy of what happened.
" Oh the food hoarding? Yeah, he tends to do that." Said McCoy, a sad tone to his voice as he was sat in his chair.
" Why should the Captain feel the need to hoard food?" Asked Spock.
" Spock, why don't you talk to him if you're worried. " Asked McCoy curiously, though he will admit that it's interesting to see the Vulcan look so worried about Jim. Especially considering, their rather...rocky start.
"As you are close friends with the Captain, I had assumed that you would have an explanation for this behavior. I have also noted, that Jim eats rather quickly, small portions, or forgets to eat at all...is it a disorder?" He asks, and McCoy sighs softly, leaning and rubbing the back of his neck. The thing was, he was just unsure if he should tell Spock. A lot of the things he and Jim have talked about, are things he will keep in confidence unless it's a danger to Jim or anyone else. And vice versa. Jim wouldn't tell Spock, about McCoy's problems with his ex-wife or anything like that.
"No, Jim doesn't have an eating disorder, but it does have something to do with his past. I'm not at liberty to discuss it, but Jim's metabolism is high, and this hoarding of food is a layover from his time as a kid. See, when a person has been denied food, they tend to later on hoard it when they can. Because they know what it's like to be without it, so they try to minimize that as possible. It's a psychological thing, and it's something I've tried talking to him about but we both know Jim doesn't always listen." Explained McCoy, trying to say it without saying too much. Spock nods in understanding. He will have to ask Jim himself. Later, when the landing party returns and the mission is done. Hendorff, Uhura, and Riley go off to the mess hall to celebrate a job well done.
" You are not going with them Captain?" Asks Spock, when he sees Jim going another direction.
" Nah, honestly dealing with Andorians makes my headspin. I'll probably take a nap and grab a bite later." Said Jim.
"I see, Captain, might I speak with you for a moment?" Said Spock, Jim looked at him curiously.
" Sure, whats up?" He asked, as they stopped in one of the nearby meeting rooms.
"Yeoman Rand was leaving you lunch, when she discovered a box of food you had stored. When I brought this to the doctor, he stated that the best course of action would be to speak with you. That you do this, because at one point you knew what it was like to be without food." Said Spock, bluntly which surprised Jim...and the Vulcan sees that immediately the blond is trying to come up with excuses. Trying to say something to make light of the situation and change the subject as he is apt to do. Jim immediately clears his throat, blue eyes glancing downwards. Because he knows he can't be angry, Yeoman Rand and Spock had every right to question the stash.
"I can explain" Says Jim, almost as if he is a child, struggling to apologize for a transgression.
"Jim, it is alright" Says Spock softly. "I am merely trying to understand, so that I may help you. There are times when you forget to eat, and other times when you eat as thoughyou will never eat again. When you do so, you also eat small portions, and are worried about people having enough."
"I'm the Captain, isn't it my job to make sure everyone has enough?"
"And how is hoarding food helping that situation?" Asks Spock, and Jim knows he's in a corner. He sighs, and looks over as Spock is looking at him with brown eyes full of concern that betrays his emotionless face.
"It's just, there was never enough." Said Jim, as he sat down, and Spock sat next to him. " I had my brother, and a Step-dad who hated us. My mom was always in Starfleet working, and the money she'd send for my brother and me, Frank would spend on alcohol mostly. So there wasn't always food. Frank always used it as a form of punishment, if I screwed up, I lost that privilege...and I had to earn it, and anything could get that privileged taken away. Talking back, bad grades, crying if you got the belt."
" Got the belt?" Asked Spock in confusion.
" Yeah, y'know when your parents smack you with a belt when you misbehave?" Said Jim as if it was the most normal thing in the world.
" Vulcans do not strike their children for misbehavior. " Said Spock, as a matter of factly.
"Really? Well did your mom ever hit you?" Asked Jim, now more dumbfounded than anything. Spock immediately shook his head. His mother never raised a hand to him, even when she was frustrated and there had been moments where she was frustrated. She had never hit him. Something that, seemed to shock Jim, and caused him to look down Spock gently placed a hand on his shoulder.
"Go on." Said Spock softly.
" Even when I was on Tarsus...now that was a doozy."
" Tarsus, as in...Tarsus IV?" Asked Spock, Jim didn't even look at him he just nodded.
"I was sent to a detention center there, and it was bad. The bigger kids stole food from the little kids, and if you complained at all, if you did something an adult didn't like then you were forced to go without eating for a week. A lot of the times, I used to give the younger and smaller kids, bigger portions or half of mine. We all learned to keep our own stashes and after that order well...that was harder. I used to steal food, whatever I could to survive and always made sure that it went to my group. I always made sure, that they all had at least something...anything so they wouldn't go to sleep hungry. " Explained Jim, and suddenly things made so much sense and everything became clearer now. " I guess the habit sort of stuck."
" Jim, food is not a privilege." Said Spock, his rational logic immediately coming forth. " Food is a right, and one of the basic needs for someone to survive. I understand your logic, even if I do not understand your step-father's or those people on Tarsus. Food is not something one should have to earn, especially not a child. I assure you, there is enough food on this ship to sustain all 430 passengers, there is always enough for everyone. Our replicators have been programmed and calibrated to be sure of it. It is alright, to slow and pace yourself, it is alright to eat as much as you need to sustain yourself, no one is going to take it away from you. "
"Are you sure about that?" Asks Jim, Spock nods and he sighs." Thanks."
"You are welcome." Says Spock, as he stands. " Also if you are wondering, I had Yeoman Rand, store your hoard. However, you do still have your lunch waiting for you if you're hungry."
" I mean, I do still want to take that nap, I am seriously tired." Said Jim with a small chuckle.
"Very well, but once you wake up eat your lunch." Says Spock, and Jim nods.
Later, when Spock is passing by, he sees Yeoman Rand exit Jim's quarters, with an empty tray, and he smiles inwardly. It's a start, and he hopes that the Captain understands he has more than enough.