Author: Isabel Juno
Story: Stupidity
disclaimers: if I owned CSI ... well lets just say things would be different...
Spoilers: season six finale...
READ THIS: I began this story after I saw the season six finale and I have only just gotten internet back so thats why i didn't post it a while ago.
READ & REVIEW PLEASE!
Stupidity
By Isabel Juno
Gil sat at with his head resting on the bar and a half empty bottle of tequila resting by his empty shot glass. He heard the commotion at the pool table as somebody sank the eight ball for the win. He started smacking his head lightly down on the table building up in intensity until a gentle and understanding voice teased him.
"Keep that up and you'll give yourself brain damage." Gil smiled.
"Thanks for coming Warrick." He said quietly and lifted his head to look at his tall friend. Warrick Brown sat down on the worn stool next to Gil.
"So what the hell did you call me out here for? It's 3 in the morning on your night off." He scolded.
"I'm an idiot." Said Gil listlessly smacking his head on the bar top again. Warrick stared at him in a stunned silence.
"Umm… mind telling me why?" He felt terribly confused. Gil started talking, his face still buried in his arms and Warrick had to strain to hear him.
"I'm an idiot. I just did the dumbest thing I've ever done. I don't even know why the hell I did it." Gil stopped, his words were slurring slightly.
"What'd you do?" asked Warrick curiously. He'd never heard Gil talk like this. He'd never seen Gil drunk either. Two for the record books. Gil let out a moan of despair. He then mumbled something between a wail and a drunken explanation.
"Huh? I didn't catch that." Warrick said apologetically. Gil lifted his head and looked at Warrick miserably.
"What's the most un-Grissom like thing you can think of?" Moaned Gil. Warrick felt surprised. He'd never heard Griss use the popular lab phrase referring to himself; he hadn't known Grissom had ever heard anybody use the phrase "un-Grissom like". Warrick puzzled over Gil's question and shrugged. Nothing really came to mind. He'd seen and heard Grissom do several un-Grissom like things in the past 5 minutes. He now doubted anything being beyond the enigmatic man's capabilities. The bartender came up to him and told him to order something or leave. He ordered a Bacardi and started sipping it as Grissom drowned down three more shots of tequila. Warrick set his rum down a little bit out of Grissom's reach as he was now eyeing it hopefully.
"So what did you do?" He asked, now very curious. Grissom looked at him dismally.
"I slept with Sara." He said flatly and then downed another shot. Warrick felt the rum make its make halfway down his throat before he started coughing and sputtering and somehow the burning liquid made its way up his nose.
"WHAT!" The bugman always managed to find a way to startle Warrick. This was definitely the last thing he'd expected to hear. Gil was half moaning half sobbing into his arms. It would have been comical if Warrick hadn't been so shocked. Gil had never shown any sign of returning Sara's feelings.
"ARE YOU SERIOUS?" Asked Warrick still shocked. Gil nodded miserably.
"Now before you ask I'm going to reiterate. I HAVE NO IDEA WHY!" He spoke the last part very clearly. Warrick tried to calm down.
"Do you… ya know." He said trying to ascertain the situation.
"No, I don't have those feelings for her." Said Gil flatly but firmly. He frowned and began eyeing the tequila again.
"I need to find a way to tell her it was all a mistake without hurting her… or pissing her off to the point where she hurts me." He added the last part nervously. Warrick nodded. He could picture that. When Sara found out that Gil didn't reciprocate her feelings and that sleeping with her was what he considered to be the stupidest thing he'd ever done. He was very glad he wasn't Griss. Gil downed yet another shot of tequila, his bottle almost empty. Warrick wondered how Grissom could still be conscious after that much tequila. Grissom's hair was messy and looked like it hadn't been brushed in a few days. His shirt was rumpled and un-tucked and his pants were wrinkled like he'd slept in them, or more likely, Warrick thought, he'd passed out in them. Grissom's face looked haggard and worried. His eyes were unfocused and slightly blank looking. Warrick puzzled over how to help his friend and supervisor.
"Tell her and start running." Warrick suggested and received a dark look for his half-effort. Grissom shook his head drunkenly and grabbed for the tequila bottle. Warrick snatched from him.
"You don't need anymore of this. You'll pass out if you drink anymore." Grissom gave him a pouting look and then stole Warrick's Bacardi before Warrick could stop him.
"Cheers." Said Grissom before downing the shot glass and refilling it. Warrick stared at Grissom; his mouth had fallen open from shock. How much could Grissom drink? Grissom noticed Warrick staring and smirked.
"I have a high alcohol tolerance." He explained.
"I guess." Said Warrick. He was still processing the situation. They sat, Warrick thinking and Grissom drinking, for about another five minutes. A thought that had been bugging Warrick for several minutes finally burst its way out of his mouth.
"I thought you had a thing for Catherine." Grissom sent a shot of rum out of his nose and immediately began yelping with pain. He'd been alternating between shots of tequila and rum and Warrick wondered which one would hurt the most to send shooting out your nose. After Grissom had adjusted to the burning pain he looked carefully at Warrick.
"Umm… well yes." He said uncomfortably. Warrick raised an eyebrow enjoying Grissom's look of discomfort immensely.
"Yes what?" His eyes twinkled evilly. Grissom gave him a long hard Grissom glare to no avail. He sighed.
"Yes I have a thing for Catherine." He returned to his drinking routine. "Not that she'd return those feelings." He added in a low tone. Warrick rolled his eyes.
"You know. For a genius you're a moron." Gil blinked.
"She's got a thing for ya man. That's why she turned me down when I asked her out." Warrick explained. Grissom looked up at him sharply his mouth falling open in shock.
"You asked her out?" He seemed to be stuck in between anger and depression. Warrick sighed.
"Griss, you missed the important bit there. She turned me down because she wants you bugman." Gil just sort of sat there with a look of miserable horror.
"What fucking hell have I dug myself into?" He asked of nobody in particular. Warrick felt stunned. He'd never heard Grissom say the F word before. It came as quite a shock. He'd seen Grissom pissed before but had never heard him use anything worse than "Son of a bitch". It was driving him nuts, he had to know why.
"Seriously though… why did you?" Grissom sighed and studied his shot glass, then, throwing his head back he downed it. He set the glass down hard on the bar and looked miserably at it.
"I dunno… I guess… I was sick of wanting Catherine and nothing happening between us. I'd try flirting and she'd flirt back but never really hint she wanted anything more than our friendship. I was scared to come right out and ask her out. I'm terrified that if I did and she rejected me I'd loose my friendship with her as well. I wanted a relationship but I didn't want to loose Catherine and there was Sara, who obviously has wanted a relationship so I decided to give it a shot. Dumb idea I know. The stupidest thing I've ever done. Now I don't know what to do. I don't know how to fix this mess I've created." He fell silent and dropped his head back into his arms miserably. Warrick stared. He'd never known Grissom was so insecure about his friendship with Catherine.
"Look," he said,"Just tell Sara the truth. If she doesn't understand it's her loss." Gil stared at him.
"Then what? Am I supposed to go to Catherine and say "hey guess what? Sleeping with Sara made me realize you're the only woman for me?" Yeah, that will go over real well Warrick." Gil snapped. He dropped his head back into his arms and apologized for snapping.
"I know you're trying to help but… it's not really helping." Warrick smiled slightly.
"I'm thinking here ok? Give me a chance to help you." Gil nodded miserably his head still in his arms. Warrick thought about it. What would he do if he were in Grissom's position?
"Try getting Sara to break it off." Grissom gave him a dirty look.
"Why don't you think about what the chances of that are?" He said bitterly. Warrick thought about it realizing Griss was right. He scrunched his face in concentration.
"I think I'm going to be sick." Mumbled Grissom. Warrick smirked.
"No shit Sherlock. Think you drank to damn much maybe somehow?" Warrick said sarcastically. Grissom glared at him and lifted his finger and pointed at Warrick in a very unfocused manner. His eyes were beginning to slide out of focus and Warrick could see Griss was about to pass out.
"Look, I'm not gonna be sick because of the alcohol… I'm sicker with my own actions and stupidity." With those famous last words Grissom fell off his barstool landing with a loud thud on the floor. The loud thud was soon followed by drunken snores. Warrick sat staring at his passed out friend with a smirk on his face as he shook his head and turned back to the bar pulling out his cell phone. If Grissom wasn't going to take action (not that he really could at the moment) Warrick would have to.
"Hello."
"Hey, its Warrick, can you come over to Riley's Pub?" There was a pause.
"Sure. When?"
"Now."
"Umm… ok. I'll be there in a few minutes." There was a click as the line disconnected. Warrick snapped the phone shut, stowing it away in his shirt pocket. He shot a glance at the figure snoring prone on the floor and snorted to himself. A few minutes passed and Warrick put back a couple of shots while waiting. The barkeep came over and asked if they should call a cab for Grissom.
"Nah… just leave him there." He didn't want Grissom going anywhere. He sat in silence watching the captions on the TV. The Los Angeles Lakers were playing the Phoenix Suns and the Suns were expected to win it. So far it was 3-3 and this was the tiebreaker, Suns were in the lead.
"Why is Gil passed out on the ground?" Asked a stunned voice. Warrick ripped his attention from the third quarter toss up and turned to Catherine.
"He drank way too much. Thanks for coming. I need to talk to you about Grissom… plus I've had too much to drive right now and need help getting him home." Catherine nodded and went to open her car as Warrick paid for his and Gil's numerous shots and the two of them carried an inebriated and unconscious Grissom and stuffed him in the backseat of Catherine's Denali. They drove in relative silence as Catherine asked how much Gil had drunk. They arrived in front of the townhouse. Catherine helped Warrick get Gil out of her car and then she hurried up to the door and began fishing out the key that Gil had given her to his townhouse, "in case I don't show up for a week or something." He'd told her when he gave her the key. She never thought she'd end up using it because Gil had passed out in a local bar.
The door opened and Catherine hurried in and led a huffing Warrick to Gil's brown leather couch where Gil was unceremoniously dumped as Warrick's arms gave out. He was only so strong. It wasn't that Gil was fat, it was just he wasn't a scrawny little guy like Greg, who Warrick had, on several occasions, had to carry up to his apartment. Greg didn't know how much booze was too much.
Catherine put a dark blue blanket over Gil and watched him mumble in his drunken slumber and wrap himself in the blanket. It was both cute and funny, Catherine thought. She sighed inwardly wishing Gil would return her feelings. She knew how Sara felt in that respect. Personally she thought she was worse off than Sara. Gil didn't even flirt with Sara; whenever Sara flirted with Gil he gave her a look like there were lobsters crawling out of her ears. With Catherine he flirted and she'd flirt back and then they'd both get back to working or somebody would interrupt them.
Warrick followed Catherine into one of the only bug free rooms of the townhouse. Well relatively bug free… Gil kept his kitchen spotless. A habit, Catherine knew that Gil's mother had ground into him as a child. She was comfortable in Gil's kitchen. He invited her and Lindsey over enough to where they both knew where everything was and felt comfortable going into the kitchen. Opening the fridge and examining the contents was always an adventure though, today it was chilled crickets in blue Tupperware labeled "couscous", a half-gallon of orange juice, some "I can't believe its not butter", a jar of chocolate grasshoppers, a few generic brand bottles of water, a half eaten tuna sandwich, something Catherine couldn't identify but looked like it was alive, some leftover spaghetti, and ground hamburger with some kind of mold growing on it and that was just on the top shelf. The lower shelves contained various types of bug food, fruits, and vegetables. She grabbed two bottles of water and handed one to Warrick. He caught a glimpse of the unidentifiable mess in the glass dish and raised an eyebrow.
"I never ask what his little experiments are. I'm too afraid to know." Said Catherine honestly. Warrick smirked. Catherine felt curious about why Warrick had called her in particular. She knew that Warrick could have brought Gil here by himself or could have called Nick. But he'd called her and told her that he needed to talk to her. That he needed to talk to her about Gil no less. Her mind briefly entertained a few ideas that almost made her blush and definitely got her heart pumping. She pushed them to the back of her mind and situated herself in one of the kitchen chairs.
"So what did you need to discuss with me about Gil?" Warrick plopped down across from her.
"Gil called me at three in the morning. He asked me to come to the bar." Catherine cut him off.
"Its 9 in the morning! Are you telling me you guys have been there for six hours?" Warrick blinked and glanced at his watch. He grinned sheepishly.
"Man how the time does fly! Anyway," he continued ignoring Catherine's disbelieving look, "He was already drunk when I got there. He started telling me that he's just done the dumbest, most un-Grissom like thing he's ever done." Catherine raised her eyebrow.
"He said un-Grissom like?" She asked trying not to laugh.
"Yeah, I was shocked too… I didn't know he'd even heard anybody use that." Warrick mused. Catherine was torn between disbelief and laughter.
"So what did he do?"
"Huh?"
"What did he do that was so stupid and "un-Grissom like?" she asked patiently. Warrick suddenly felt nervous.
"Umm… you have to promise to hear out the entire story ok?" He needed to not screw this up. Catherine was beginning to get annoyed.
"Fine, ok, whatever just tell me what he did." Warrick looked so nervous she felt bad for snapping at him. He squirmed in his seat, worrying how she would take this.
"Well umm… he slept with Sara." There was a moment of silence.
"WHAT!"
"Cath calm down!" Warrick pleaded.
"HE WHAT!" She had stood up her bottle of water falling to the floor and spilling over the hardwood floors. She'd known Gil wasn't hers. She'd known he slept with Lady Heather and that hadn't bugged her. She knew he'd sort of had a thing for Sofia. She could handle that. What she couldn't handle was Sara. She couldn't wrap her mind around Sara getting the man that Catherine had wanted for years. That idea killed her. She sank down into the chair the tears starting to fall unbidden. Warrick sat, unsure what to do.
"He regrets it. He told me why he did it too." Catherine glared at him, still crying silently.
"He did it cause' he's stupid." She accused softly.
"He agrees with you." Muttered a sleepy hung over voice from the doorway. Catherine continued to glare at the table her fists balling under the table. Warrick glanced up at Grissom. His eyes were bleary and he seemed slightly unsteady. He shuffled into the kitchen towards the microwave where Warrick could see a bottle of aspirin. Gil poured a few pills out onto his hand and grabbed two bottles of water from the fridge. He set one in front of Catherine and opened the other. Throwing back the pills and chasing them with some water he pushed himself up onto the counter, not trusting his safety within arms reach of Catherine. She still looked furious.
"Do you want to know why I did it?" He asked gently. She looked up at him rage and pain in her eyes. Gil felt a pang of regret adding to the already overwhelming regret and worry plaguing him.
Her eyes stung with tears begging to form. She refused them. She felt like Gil had killed a little part of her. She could see the regret and concern in his eyes and right now she wanted to see something else. Anything else. She didn't want to see his deep blue eyes anymore. Ever. She stood up startling Warrick who'd been pondering whether or not to leave. This hadn't gone as planned. He mentally kicked Grissom for coming in. He figured that Catherine would at least listen to him but all hopes of that disappeared when Griss came into the room. Warrick sighed knowing that there was going to be trouble. Catherine walked out of the room leaving Warrick staring at the unopened bottle of water Gil had set in front of Cath and the spilled water on the floor. Gil sat for a second trying to figure out what had just happened. A little alarm went off in the back of his head and for once he listened to it. He jumped off of the counter and, moving faster than anybody had seen him move in 20 years, he bolted to the door just barely catching up with Catherine just outside of his door. Her hair caught the early morning light beautifully and it only accentuated her beauty further. He called her name and saw her shoulders tense, o right she's furious with me, he remembered. He grabbed her shoulders and spun her around.
"Cath, you've got to hear me out." He said quickly. She glared at him.
"I don't have to listen to you." She said, the tension between them palpable. Her eyes burned with an enraged fire. Gil almost withered beneath her furious glare. Almost.
"Okay that's true. Please hear me out." He pleaded softly. Her eyes narrowed as her breathing caught. Goddamn him, him and his gentle eyes. She gave him a curt nod. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. His arms dropped down to his sides. He began speaking quickly and precisely.
"I'm an idiot. That much is obvious. You've been with guys in the past, and each and every time I've seen the bruises from Eddie or Adam or the emotional scars from them and Chris; each and every time I've wanted to beat the hell out of them. I've wanted to just take you in my arms and take you far away from those scumbags. I wanted to keep you safe forever and I wanted to just be with you." Gil paused taking a deep shaky breath and continuing quickly, his eyes still closed as if, if they he wouldn't be able to talk. "I figured out several years ago that my desire to protect you went far beyond that of a friend. I figured out that I wanted more than a friendship with you. I wanted to be with you. I wanted to love you and for you to love me. I was scared to tell you and honestly, I still am." She stared at him; his breathing was rough and fearful. His expression remained blank and his eyes closed as if they were his last remaining defense against his emotions.
"I was sick of wanting you and nothing happening between us. I was scared to come right out and ask you because I figured you'd reject me. I figured you'd reject me and we'd end up losing our friendship too and I couldn't handle that." He swallowed hard. "I went to Sara because I was sick of flirting with you and you flirting back and still getting nowhere. I went to her because, even as stupid as I am about reading people and their emotions, I knew that Sara wouldn't reject me. I wanted a safe relationship but I realized that there was no way that it would work out." He began gesticulating irritably, "So now I'm in a huge fucking mess and I have no idea how to dig myself out of it." He dropped his arms to his sides and opened his eyes. Cath stared at him and the sheepish sad look in his eyes. She felt her anger begin to dissolve. It was still very real, but she couldn't help but forgive him. She smiled at him shaking her head slightly.
"You know you're an idiot right?" She said teasingly. He smiled slightly and looked hopefully at her.
"Am I forgiven?" His voice was soft and hopeful. She nodded.
"For now." She informed him. There was an angry yell from behind them.
"You unbelievable bastard!" Shrieked Sara. She stormed up from her hiding spot. Tears were streaming down her face.
"I was the other option? I was your safe bet? You unimaginable bastard!" Catherine felt worried. She'd seen Sara pissed but never like this. She saw a furious woman who was beyond reasoning. She glanced at Gil who was frowning and looking like he was going to try appealing to Sara's sense of reason. Cath didn't think that was a very wise idea.
"Sara… it's not like that." His voice trailed off as he realized that that was exactly what it was. He felt as horrid as he had in the bar. He knew Sara didn't deserve this. He had taken advantage of her. He felt like a bastard. He knew he deserved the insults. Sara stopped a few feet away from them, the tears still pouring down her face as it constricted in rage. Gil sighed, wondering how many times he was going to cause pain to these two women today. He'd already succeeded in causing them both to cry, or at least come close to it. He hated himself for that and he hated the fact he had no idea what to say. He was completely lost, adrift in an ocean of trouble, about to be crushed by the waves of his own making.
"Sara, I'm sorry. Last night was a mistake. It never should have happened and I'm sorry that my stupidity is causing you pain, but I don't know of anyway around it. I never meant to hurt you. I'm sorry, honest to god I am." He stopped abruptly. He didn't know what else to say. He was surprised he'd managed that much. Sara glared at him, tears still falling, before turning her rage upon Catherine.
"This is your fault!" She screamed launching herself at Catherine before she could protest. She slammed her fist into Catherine's startled countenance. Catherine let out a cry of pain and shock. She'd heard Sara's accusation then felt the pain then saw Gil pull Sara away from her roughly. Gil was shaking with anger and shock. He couldn't believe what had just happened. He held a still struggling Sara back, but could do nothing about the screams and curses she was shrieking about Catherine.
"SARA STOP IT!" Shouted Gil furiously. He wouldn't let Sara hurt Cath. He didn't want Sara to find out like this because this was the reaction he'd feared but he'd thought it would be aimed at him.
"You fucking bastard. I hate you." She told him softly, the tears beginning anew.
"I'm sorry. I don't hate you." He said quietly. He was furious with her but this was his own damn fault and now Cath was hurting physically and Sara was hurting emotionally. Sara processed what Gil had said. She stopped shrieking and struggling. Warrick skidded out Gil's front door staring at the scene. Catherine with a bloody lip, Gil restraining Sara, and Sara looking fit to kill with tears streaming down her face. He made a quick decision.
"Griss," he said softly, "I'll take her home ok?" His voice was gentle. Grissom nodded and released Sara; Warrick put his arm around Sara and began leading her to her car as his was still at the bar. She leaned into him, her head on his chest. He felt confident she'd be ok. She then did something none of them expected. She reached to her sidearm and spun around quickly, pointing the gun and pulling the trigger. There was a sudden movement as one of the two by the door saw the gun and who it was pointing at and pushed the other out of the way, taking the bullet themselves. Warrick pinned Sara's arms behind her ripping the still smoking gun from her hand. She looked stunned unable to believe what she'd just done. Her knees went weak and she collapsed.
"Gil…"